Shut Your Eyes (The You Don't Know Me Trilogy Book 3)

by Lee, Mandy

  ‘Sometimes, it’s just not black and white,’ I whisper.

  He lifts his head.

  ‘If you hadn’t pushed him, he might have pushed you. If he’d had a chance, he wouldn’t have hesitated. As far as I’m concerned, that’s still self-defence. You have nothing to feel guilty about.’

  ‘I agree.’ Beefy’s voice cuts across us.

  We both look up.

  ‘Maya’s speaking sense.’

  ‘I need you to check on Lily,’ Dan tells him.

  ‘I’ll get somebody else to do that.’ He pulls out a mobile. ‘I’m staying here.’

  ‘There’s no need …’

  ‘Yeah, there is. The police are on their way, I’m a witness, and I need to make sure you tell the truth.’ He kneels in front of Dan. ‘And I mean this truth. Listen to me. He came at you, you punched him, he lost his footing, and fell. That’s what I saw, and him too.’ He motions to Carl. ‘Now, you don’t want to land us in trouble, do you?’

  Dan shakes his head, half-heartedly, and stares into the shadows. In spite of Beefy’s words, I’m not entirely sure he’s about to toe the line. Maybe, a little more persuasion’s in order. For a moment, I toy with the idea of telling him the baby news, but it doesn’t seem the right time or place to do it, not with Boyd’s shadow still lingering in the room. I’ll just have to try something else.

  ‘You’ll go with Beefy’s story. Don’t give them the slightest excuse to put you away.’ I take his hand in mine. ‘We’ve spent enough time apart, Dan. Boyd’s not going to win.’

  Chapter Twenty

  I roll my head and flex my shoulders. I have no idea what time it is. I’ve been here for hours, curled up on this sofa, staring out at the black slick of the river. But now, the first signs of dawn are showing in the sky, a weak grey glow, diluting the darkness and gently nudging the city back to its senses. Determined to stay awake, I yawn, blink, rub my eyes, decide it’s time, yet again, to sort through last night’s events in my head … but exhaustion’s finally clouding memory. The sequence has begun to fray and merge.

  I’m held in his arms, aware of more bodies in the desolate space around us. They’re asking questions. So many questions. I hear the crackle of a radio, see the flash of a police uniform. And now he’s gone. I’m in a car with a stranger; I’m sitting at a table in a tiny room, struggling to answer more questions; I’m crying, sobbing, letting out all the pent-up anger and frustration and loneliness. Another car. This time, with Beefy. He brings me back home, to Lambeth.

  And Dan’s still not here …

  ‘There you go.’ Beefy holds out a mug. ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Tired.’ I take the mug from him. ‘Scared,’ I add. ‘I’d feel better if Dan was home.’

  ‘He won’t be long.’

  Somehow, I can’t believe that, because nothing ever seems to go right in our world.

  ‘Will they charge him?’

  His eyes flicker.

  ‘Only if the silly bugger says the wrong thing.’ He sits next to me. The cushions dip beneath his weight.

  ‘Is he on his own?’

  ‘Clive’s down at the station.’ He sips at his tea. ‘There’s nothing to worry about, believe me. Foultons are helping with enquiries. I’ve told the police what I saw. Carl’s been arrested …’

  ‘What?’

  ‘He did what he did, Maya. There’s no ignoring that. But he’ll be fine. As long as he sticks to the official story, we’ll make sure he’s treated with leniency. We’ll look after him.’ Another sip of tea. ‘The evidence stacks up against Boyd. The stalking, the attacks, the threats, what happened last night. Plenty of witnesses too.’ He sucks in a breath. ‘There’s only one possible glitch. And that’s all down to Dan.’

  And I can only hope he doesn’t let his conscience get the better of him.

  ‘You know,’ Beefy muses. ‘I’ve been with him ever since the accident, spent a lot of time with the man, one way or the other. I’ve worked in protection for a while now, met a lot of rich types, and most of them have got their heads up their arses. But he’s alright. I like him.’ He lifts his mug in the air, as if he’s making a toast. ‘He’s got morals.’

  ‘That’s what I’m scared of.’

  ‘He’s also got you. He’s not an idiot. He won’t jeopardise his future. He’ll be home.’

  We sink into a calm silence, both of us gazing out of the windows. The sun’s risen now, bringing with it the beginnings of a harsh, blue winter sky, scratched by a few lonely wisps of cloud.

  ‘Sorry for being a prick the other week,’ Beefy says. ‘In the nightclub. I didn’t like doing that.’

  ‘You knew what was going on?’

  ‘Of course, but I was under strict orders to play along.’

  ‘You did pretty well.’

  He raises the mug again.

  ‘Don’t know what I’m doing in protection. I should be an actor.’

  We laugh quietly, and suddenly I’m overwhelmed by the urge to say something personal.

  ‘I’ll miss you.’ Those words feel strange on my tongue. After all, the first time I ever set eyes on Beefy, he gave me a serious case of the willies. ‘Now Boyd’s gone, I suppose you’ll be moving on.’

  He shakes his head.

  ‘Actually …’ His thick lips curl upwards. ‘You’ll be seeing a lot more of me. I’m coming to work for Dan.’

  ‘You are? Doing what?’

  ‘Security, of course. I’ll be heading up a small team.’

  ‘Team?’

  ‘He’s a rich man and once he’s sold the company, he’ll be a stinking rich man. It’s prudent to have a little protection on hand.’ He notices my unease. ‘You’ll get used to it. You’ll have your freedom. I won’t be shadowing your every move.’ He pauses, a mischievous glint in his eyes. ‘I heard what you did to my colleague.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘You know?’ He mimes a throwing action. ‘I’m quite attached to my mobile. Don’t fancy having it chucked in the river.’ He laughs again. ‘To be honest, I need something a bit more relaxed, a bit more local now we’ve got the baby … and a second one on the way.’

  Bloody hell, he’s been busy. I gawp at him for a few seconds, trying to imagine this mountain of muscles gently rocking a baby to sleep. And then, out of the blue, my brain’s ambushed by visions of Dan doing exactly the same.

  ‘Babies.’

  ‘What about them?’

  ‘Well …’

  It’s no good. I can’t keep it to myself any longer. I need to tell someone and at this particular point in time, Beefy seems to be the perfect sounding board.

  ‘I’m pregnant.’

  I catch him part way through a gulp of tea. He swallows, chokes and coughs.

  ‘Congratulations,’ he splutters, wiping dribble from his chin. ‘Does Dan know?’

  ‘Not yet.’ I wince. ‘It wasn’t planned. I cocked up with my pill … and everything else.’

  ‘You should have told him last night.’

  ‘It didn’t seem like the right time.’

  He nods.

  ‘I take your point. Are you happy about it?’

  I nod back.

  ‘It was a shock at first, but I want it. I’m just scared Dan’s not ready.’

  He chuckles.

  ‘Nobody’s ever ready for parenthood. Wham! It’s like being hit by a hurricane. Suddenly, your entire life’s a mess and right at the centre of it, there’s this tiny little thing, drinking milk and filling its nappy and crying.’

  ‘You’re not exactly selling it to me.’

  ‘But then it smiles at you,’ he goes on, ignoring my complaint. ‘And that first smile. Well, it’s worth a million quid. Have no fear. That man loves your bones. He’d do anything for you. He’ll be made up.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Really.’

  ‘Still …’

  ‘Just tell him, Maya. And do it soon.’

  Leaving Beefy to finish his tea, I head upstairs for
a shower, stopping in my tracks when I’m confronted by a huge, freestanding bath, freshly installed at the far end of the en suite. I can’t help smiling at the fact that Dan’s been busy preparing for my return, and I’m sorely tempted to break it in, but there’s no time. Leaving the bath for now, I take a quick shower instead. Back in the bedroom, I discover a pair of combats hanging in Dan’s wardrobe, nestling up against one of his suits. I pull them on, along with a shirt, and go back down to the living room to settle in for the wait. Just after seven, Clive calls with new information. Dan’s still at the station. No charges, but he’s helping with enquiries.

  ‘There’s nothing more I can do here,’ he says. ‘I’ll come and join you.’ He pauses, and I know what’s coming next. ‘Any chance you could get Lucy over there?’

  ‘Of course,’ I smile.

  At the end of the day, after everything Clive’s done for us, he deserves plenty in return. As soon as he’s gone, I wake Lucy with an early morning call. Silencing her questions, I tell her to get a cab over to the penthouse.

  ‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ she barks, marching through the door and surveying the kitchen. ‘Don’t tell me you’re back with that piece of shit.’

  ‘Sit down, Lucy.’

  ‘What the fuck’s going on?’ She comes to a halt next to the counter, sways a little and clamps her hands on her head. ‘Jesus, I’ve got the hangover from Hell.’

  ‘I said sit down.’

  While Beefy beats a hasty retreat to the lobby, closing the door behind him, I set about filling the kettle.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Lucy demands.

  ‘Making tea. Sit down.’

  ‘I don’t want tea.’ She eyes me warily. ‘Well, actually I do. My mouth’s like sandpaper. I’m never drinking again.’

  ‘That might be a good idea.’

  ‘So, what’s going on?’

  ‘Sit.’ I point at a stool. ‘You’re getting tea and the truth. It’ll sort out your hangover, trust me.’

  Slowly, uneasily, never once taking her blurry eyes off me, she lowers herself onto the stool. And then I begin. Busying myself with the usual tea rigmarole, I fill her in on everything that’s happened since the accident, leaving out Clive’s involvement for the time being. She needs to take in the facts before she takes off like a firework.

  ‘This is fucking mad,’ she breathes when I’m done. ‘No. It’s beyond fucking mad.’

  ‘Tell me about it.’

  ‘This sort of shit happens in films … or on EastEnders. This isn’t real.’

  ‘Well, it is real. It all happened.’

  She stares at me, goggle-eyed, opens her mouth as if she’s on the verge of saying something, and then closes it again, several times. Good grief, this is painful. I knew it would be difficult, but the alcohol-induced fug isn’t helping matters.

  ‘So, you didn’t shag Gordon?’ she asks at last.

  Incredible. After everything that’s happened, this is what her brain decides to obsess over?

  ‘Absolutely not. He’s Dan’s friend. And he’s gay, by the way.’

  ‘You are kidding me.’

  ‘No, I’m not. Come off it, Luce. You saw the way he danced last night.’

  She shakes her head.

  ‘Gay?’

  ‘And he’s in the closet, so keep shtum.’

  ‘But, he’s gay?’

  I’m about to remind her that Gordon’s sexuality is possibly the least important thing in all of this, but I get no chance.

  ‘You’ve been lying to me for months.’ She scowls at me.

  ‘Yes.’ I yawn. ‘But I had no choice. And you can’t complain. You lied to me.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘When you and Clive lured me over here.’

  ‘Yes … but … I didn’t lie to you for three sodding months.’ She sinks into a temporary silence, her face gurning its way through several unpleasant emotions: anger, disbelief, annoyance, confusion. ‘I can’t get over it,’ she murmurs at last. ‘Gordon’s gay.’ Her eyes seem to lose focus. ‘But what about Clive?’

  Ah, so we’ve finally got to the inevitable crux of the matter.

  ‘He’s not gay.’

  ‘You know what I mean.’

  ‘Of course, I do.’

  And now, after all this time, I finally get to put an end to the torture. I can barely contain myself. The words bubble up from my lungs, bursting from my mouth with a good helping of childish excitement.

  ‘He didn’t want to split up with you.’

  I’m half expecting a tirade of abuse. Instead, a small smile jitters across her lips … and I’m thoroughly relieved.

  ‘What?’

  ‘He couldn’t see you. He had to keep his distance. We couldn’t have any links between me and Dan.’

  ‘And you knew this all along?’

  ‘Yes. I wasn’t supposed to know, but I forced it out of them. They made me promise not to say a word. I’m so sorry, Lucy.’

  With a dismissive wave, she springs up from the stool, sways again, and then circles the kitchen, deep in thought.

  ‘The fewer people who knew, the better,’ I press on. ‘I wanted to tell you. Honestly, I did. And I nearly told you, more than once. You were a complete nightmare …’

  ‘He still wants me?’ she cuts in.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘He does?’

  ‘Yes,’ I repeat with all the patience I can muster.

  ‘He still wants me,’ she cries jubilantly, throwing her hands in the air. Without any warning whatsoever, she dances off round the living room, almost falling over the coffee table in the process.

  ‘And you clearly still want him,’ I shout. ‘I thought he was a cu …’

  ‘Don’t you dare!’ Swinging to a halt, she aims a finger at me. ‘That’s foul language, Maya Scotton. You’re talking about the man I love.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ I laugh.

  Lowering her arm, she surveys the apartment.

  ‘So where are they now?’ she asks.

  ‘Down at the police station. Clive says he’ll be here soon. He wants to see you.’

  I watch as joy flits across her face, only to be replaced by a shadow.

  ‘And what about Dan?’

  ‘I don’t know yet.’

  Right on cue, I hear a key in the latch. Facing the door, I hold my breath, and then sigh in disappointment as Clive appears on his own.

  ‘He’s still there?’ I ask.

  Casting a nervous glance at Lucy, he nods.

  ‘So, what’s going on?’

  ‘Like I said, he’s helping with enquiries.’ He advances slowly, his eyes flitting in Lucy’s direction, and then back to me. ‘They’ve got the gun. Boyd’s prints are all over it. They found Lily at her house. She’s in a state, but she confirmed she’d been seeing Boyd for weeks, only she didn’t know him as Ian Boyd. They found the site manager too, tied up in a cleaning cupboard. He’s okay. The picture’s coming together.’

  ‘I should be with him.’

  He shakes his head.

  ‘He’ll be here soon enough. Just have patience.’ He swallows. ‘Everything’s going to be fine.’ And now, finally, he turns to the hung-over elephant in the room. ‘Hello, Lucy,’ he ventures.

  While the seconds drag their feet, I watch as Clive attempts a hopeful smile, and Lucy glowers back at him.

  ‘You shit.’ She sidles forward. ‘You put me through hell.’

  ‘I didn’t have much choice.’ He holds up his hands.

  ‘I should deck you right now.’ And she wouldn’t get very far. ‘You’re a lying git,’ she growls.

  So, just like me, she’s putting up a fight before the inevitable reunion. Trouble is, I’m too tired to let it go on. In fact, I’m in the mood for a little fast-tracking.

  ‘Clive, can you take her away please?’

  ‘We’re staying here until Dan gets home.’

  ‘I’m perfectly capable of dealing with this on my own.’ I give him a cold stare. ‘
Take her to your place. You’re only down the road. You can come back later and check on Dan.’

  ‘But …’

  ‘I’ve got Beefy.’

  I’m determined to stand my ground, and Clive knows it. With a nod, he holds out a hand to Lucy. And as if it’s covered in something distinctly disgusting, she simply stares at it.

  ‘Lucy,’ I snap. ‘Drop the act. You already know what’s been going on. Just get to the bit where you fall into his arms and sod off, will you?’

  She opens her mouth to protest.

  ‘I mean it. I’ve got enough to deal with.’

  ‘She has,’ Clive confirms. ‘We should leave her in peace.’ And then he opens his arms. ‘Ready?’

  Thankfully, she can’t fight it any longer. The smile reappears. Broadening quickly, it threatens to explode right off her face.

  ‘Oh, okay,’ she squeals. ‘Go on then!’

  With a half-demented laugh, she flings herself into his arms, letting him embrace her with all his might. I should really look away, give them a bit of privacy, but I can’t help watching as he kisses the top of her head, and then her cheek. My heart’s flooding with warmth for my friend, but as soon as they launch into a full-on snog, I decide enough is enough.

  I cough, loudly.

  They break the kiss.

  ‘I’ll just …’ Clive motions to the door.

  ‘Yes, you do that,’ I smile.

  And with no further ado, he leads Lucy out of the apartment.

  Finally left alone, I lie on the sofa and go back to waiting. At some point I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, there’s a finger lightly tracing a path down my cheek. I open my eyes, slowly focussing on Dan’s face.