The Plays of Anton Chekhov

by Anton Chekhov

  [A pause.]

  I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I do not understand! Why don’t I just put a bullet through my forehead! ...

  LVOV [entering]: I need to have a candid talk with you, Nikolay Alekseyevich.

  IVANOV : Doctor, if we’re going to have a candid talk every day, I haven’t the strength for it.

  LVOV: Would you be good enough to hear me out?

  IVANOV: Every day I hear you out and I still fail to understand what actually it is you want from me.

  LVOV: I speak clearly and precisely, and only someone without a heart could fail to understand me ...

  IVANOV : That my wife is close to death — I know; that I am irreparably guilty before her - I also know; that you are an honest, straight man - I know too! What more do you want?

  LVOV: I am indignant at human cruelty ... A woman is dying. She has a father and a mother whom she loves and whom she would like to see before she dies; they know very well that she will die soon and that she still loves them, but - damnable cruelty - it’s as if they want to amaze Jehovah with their religious rigour: they still curse her! You, a man for whom she sacrificed everything - her faith, her own home, tranquillity of conscience - you in the most obvious way and with the most obvious intentions drive over every day to those Lebedevs!

  IVANOV: Ah, I haven’t been there now for two weeks ...

  LVOV [not listening to him]: With people like you one needs to speak directly, with no beating about the bush, and if you don’t feel like listening to me, then don’t! I’m accustomed to calling things by their proper name ... You need this death to achieve new feats of valour; maybe you do, but could you really not wait? If you let her die in the natural way of things and didn’t go on breaking her with your arrant cynicism, would Lebedeva with her dowry really leave you? If not now, then in a year or in two years you would have time, you amazing hypocrite, to turn the girl’s head and get hold of her dowry just as effectively as now ... Why are you in a hurry? Why do you need your wife to die now and not in a month, in a year? ...

  IVANOV : This is torment. Doctor, you’re a very bad physician if you assume a man can restrain himself for ever. It costs me a terrible effort not to reply to your insults.

  LVOV: Enough. Who do you want to fool? Drop that mask.

  IVANOV: You clever man, just reflect. You think I’m the easiest thing in the world to understand. Right? I married Anna to get a large dowry ... They gave me no dowry, I made a mistake and now I am hounding her from this world to marry another woman and take her dowry... Yes? How easy and straightforward ... Man is such a simple and uncomplicated machine ... No, doctor, we all have too many wheels, screws and valves for us to be able to judge each other by first impressions or from two or three external indications. I don’t understand you, you don’t understand me, and we don’t understand ourselves. One can be an excellent doctor - and at the same time have absolutely no knowledge of people. Drop your self-assurance and agree with that.

  LVOV: Do you really think you are so opaque and I have so little brain that I can’t distinguish wrong-doing from honesty?

  IVANOV : We are clearly never going to see eye to eye ... For the last time I ask, and please give an answer without preamble, what actually do you want from me? What are you aiming for? [Irritatedly] And whom do I have the honour of addressing - my prosecutor, or my wife’s doctor?

  LVOV: I am a doctor and as a doctor I demand that you alter your behaviour ... It is killing Anna Petrovna.

  IVANOV: But what am I to do? What? If you understand me better than I understand myself, speak frankly: What am I to do?

  LVOV: At the very least, don’t act so publicly.

  IVANOV : Oh, my God! Do you really understand yourself? [Drinks some water.] Leave me. I am a thousand times guilty, I will answer before God, but no one authorized you to torture me every day ...

  LVOV: But who authorized you to insult the truth in me? You have poisoned my spirit and made me suffer. Until I ended up in this district, I assumed there were fools, lunatics, people who had affairs, but I never believed that there were criminal persons who deliberately and consciously directed their will towards evil ... I respected and loved human beings, but when I saw you ...

  IVANOV : I’ve heard all this already!

  LVOV : Have you? [Sees SASHA coming in; she is wearing a riding habit.] Now, I hope, we understand one another very well! [Shrugs his shoulders and goes out.]

  VII

  (IVANOV and SASHA.]

  IVANOV [alarmed]: Shura, you here?

  SASHA: Yes, me. How are you? Didn’t you expect me? Why haven’t you been to see us for so long?

  IVANOV: Shura, for God’s sake, this is risky! Your coming here could have a terrible effect on my wife.

  SASHA: She won’t see me. I came in by the back door. I’ll leave at once. I’m worried: are you all right? Why haven’t you come for so long?

  IVANOV : As it is, my wife has already been deeply hurt, she’s almost dying, and you come here. Shura, Shura, this is thoughtless and inhuman!

  SASHA: What was I to do? You haven’t been to see us for two weeks, you haven’t answered my letters. I’m worn out, I thought you must be suffering here unbearably, that you were ill, that you were dead. I haven’t had a single night’s calm sleep. I’ll go away now ... At least tell me if you are well.

  IVANOV : No, I’ve worn myself out, people never stop plaguing me ... I simply don’t have the strength. And you’re still here! What unhealthy and abnormal behaviour! Shura, I’m so much to blame, so much to blame ...

  SASHA: How you love saying fearsome and pathetic things! So you’re to blame? Are you? To blame? Well, tell me then, for what?

  IVANOV : I don’t know, I don’t know ...

  SASHA: That’s not an answer. Every sinner must know his sin. Have you been forging banknotes or something?

  IVANOV : That’s not funny!

  SASHA: Are you to blame for having stopped loving your wife? Perhaps, but a man is not master of his feelings, you didn’t want to stop loving her. Are you to blame that she saw me declare my love to you? No, you didn’t want her to see that ...

  IVANOV [interrupting]: And so on, and so on ... Fell in love, fell out of love, not master of his feelings - these are all commonplaces, hackneyed phrases, and they don’t help ...

  SASHA: It’s exhausting talking to you. [Looks at a picture.] How well that dog is drawn. Is it from life?

  IVANOV:Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is commonplace and trite: he lost heart, and he lost his way. She came along, strong and brave in spirit, and gave him a helping hand. That’s all very well and plausible in novels, but in life ...

  SASHA: In life it’s the same.

  IVANOV : I see you have a fine understanding of life! My whining inspires a holy awe in you, you imagine you’ve discovered a second Hamlet in me, but in my view my psychopathic character, with all its baggage, can only serve as a good object for ridicule, and nothing more! You should howl with laughter at my affectations till you drop, but instead you sound the alarm! You want to save me, to perform a heroic feat! I feel so bitter today towards myself! I feel that my tension today will be ended by something ... Either I’ll break something, or ...

  SASHA: Now that’s exactly what you need. Break something, smash it or shout. You’re angry with me, I was stupid in deciding to come here. So lose your temper, shout at me, stamp your feet. Why not? Start getting angry ...

  [A pause.]

  Why not?

  IVANOV : You are being funny.

  SASHA: Excellent. I think we’re smiling. Please be so kind as to smile once more!

  IVANOV [laughing]: I’ve noticed something: when you start to rescue me and teach me common sense, then your expression becomes very, very naive and the pupils of your eyes become wide as if you were looking at a comet. Wait, your shoulder’s covered in dust. [Brushes the dust from her shoulder.] A naive man is a fool. But you women are clever enough to be naive so that it comes out in you
as engaging and healthy and warm, and not so silly as it might seem. Only why do you all behave like this? While a man is healthy and strong and in good spirits, you pay him no attention, but as soon as he rolls down the slippery slope and starts complaining about his woes, you hang on his neck. Is it really worse to be the wife of a strong and courageous man than to be the nurse of some snivelling failure?

  SASHA: Yes, it’s worse!

  IVANOV : Why? [Laughs.] Darwin knew nothing about this, otherwise he’d have told you off! You’re spoiling the human race. Thanks to the likes of you there’ll soon be only whiners and psychopaths born into the world.

  SASHA: Men don’t understand a lot of things. Every young girl is going to be drawn more to a failure than to a successful man, because they’re all attracted by the notion of active love ... Do you understand? Active. Men are busy with their work, and therefore for them love is something right in the background. A conversation with the wife, a stroll with her in the garden, a nice time, a cry on her grave - that’s all. But for us love is life. I love you, that means that I dream of how I’ll cure you of your depression, of how I’ll go with you to the ends of the earth ... When you’re up, so am I; when you’re down, so am I. For example, it would be a great happiness for me to spend all night copying out your papers or watching that no one woke you, or to walk a hundred versts with you. I remember once, three years ago, at threshing time, you came to us all covered with dust, sunburnt and exhausted, and asked for a drink. I brought you a glass but you were already lying on the sofa and sleeping like the dead. You slept in our house for twelve hours and the whole time I stood guard outside your door so that no one came in. And I felt so happy! The more work there is, the better love is - that is, the more strongly love is felt, do you see.

  IVANOV : Active love ... Hm ... It blights everything, a young girl’s philosophy, or perhaps that’s the way things ought to be ... [Shrugs his shoulders.] The devil only knows! [Cheerfully] Shura, I swear, I’m a decent man! ... Think about this: I have always liked to philosophize, but I’ve never in my life said, ‘Our women are depraved’ or ‘Woman has set out on the wrong road.’ I’ve just been grateful and nothing more! That’s all. My dear, beautiful girl, how entertaining you are! And what a ridiculous idiot I am! I embarrass God-fearing people, I spend whole days being sorry for myself. [Laughs.] Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo! [Quickly moves away.] But go away, Sasha! We’ve forgotten ourselves ...

  SASHA: Yes, it’s time for me to go. Goodbye! I’m afraid your honest doctor might report my presence here to Anna Petrovna out of a sense of duty. Listen to me: go now to your wife and stay with her, stay, stay ... If you have to stay a year - then stay for a year. If ten years - then stay for ten years. Do your duty. Grieve and ask her forgiveness and weep - all that just as it should be. But most of all don’t forget your task in life.

  IVANOV : Again I feel as if I’ve been gorging on toadstools. Again!

  SASHA: Well, God preserve you! You needn’t think of me at all. In two weeks you can scribble me a line - and I’ll be grateful even for that. And I will write to you ...

  [BORKIN looks in through the doorway.]

  VIII

  [The same and BORKIN.]

  BORKIN : Nikolay Alekseyevich, may I? [Seeing Sasha] I’m sorry, I hadn’t seen you ... [Enters.] Bonjour! [Bows.]

  SASHA [embarrassed]: How are you? ...

  BORKIN : You’ve become a little plumper and prettier.

  SASHA [to Ivanov]: Well, I’m going, Nikolay Alekseyevich ... I’m going. [Goes out.]

  BORKIN: What a wonderful vision! I came for prose and found poetry ... [Sings] ‘Thou cam’st like a bird to the light.’

  [IVANOV agitatedly walks about the stage.]

  [BORKIN sits down.] And, Nicolas, she has something, a sort of something which other women lack. Doesn’t she? Something special ... dreamlike ... [Sighs.] In fact, she’s the richest bride in the whole district, but her Mama’s such a nightmare that no one wants the connection. After her death everything will go to Shurochka, but before her death she’ll give her ten thousand, a flatiron and another iron for goffering, and she’ll make her kiss her feet for that. [Rummages in his pockets.] I’ll smoke a De los Majoros. Would you like one? [Offers him his cigar case.] They’re good. A man can smoke them.

  IVANOV [going up to Borkin, choking with rage]: Get out of my house this minute! This minute!

  [BORKIN half-rises and drops his cigar.]

  Get out this minute!

  BORKIN : Nicolas, what does this mean? Why are you angry?

  IVANOV : Why? And where do you get these cigars from? And do you think that I don’t know where you take the old fellow every day, and what for?

  BORKIN [shrugging his shoulders]: What’s it to you?

  IVANOV : What a scoundrel you are! Your dirty projects which you’ve scattered over the district have made me a dishonest man in people’s eyes! We have nothing in common and I ask you to leave my house this minute! [Walks about quickly.]

  BORKIN: I know you’re saying all this out of irritation and so I’m not getting angry with you. Insult me as much as you want ... [Picks up his cigar.] But it’s time to drop the melancholy. You’re not a schoolboy ...

  IVANOV: What did I say to you? [Trembling] Are you making fun of me!

  [Enter ANNA PETROVNA.]

  IX

  [The same and ANNA PETROVNA.]

  BORKIN: Well, Anna Petrovna has come ... I shall go. [Goes out.]

  [IVAN0V stops by the desk and stands with bowed head.]

  ANNA PETROVNA [after a pause]:Why did she come here just now?

  [A pause.]

  I’m asking you: why did she come here?

  IVANOV: Don’t ask me, Anyuta ...

  [A pause.]

  I am deeply at fault. Think up whatever punishment you want, I shall endure it, but ... don’t ask ... I haven’t the strength to talk.

  ANNA PETROVNA [angrily]: Why was she here?

  [A pause.]

  Ah, so that’s what you’re like! Now I understand you. At last I see what kind of a man you are. Low and dishonourable ... Do you remember, you came to me and lied to me that you loved me ... I believed you and abandoned my father, my mother, my faith, and followed you ... You told me lies about truth, about good, about your honourable plans, I believed every word ...

  IVANOV : Anyuta, I never lied to you ...

  ANNA PETROVNA: I’ve lived with you for five years, tormented and made ill by the thought that I betrayed my faith, but I’ve loved you and never left you for a single moment ... You were my idol ... And what happened? All this time you’ve been deceiving me in the most brazen way ...

  IVANOV : Anyuta, don’t tell untruths. I’ve made mistakes, yes, but I’ve never once told a lie in my life ... Don’t dare to reproach me for that ...

  ANNA PETROVNA:I can understand it all now ... You married me and thought that my father and mother would forgive me, would give me money ... You thought that ...

  IVANOV : Oh my God! Anyuta, don’t try my patience like this ... [ Weeps.]

  ANNA PETROVNA: Be quiet! When you saw there was no money, you started a new game ... Now I remember, I understand everything. [Weeps.] You never loved me and were true to me ... Never! ...

  IVANOV: Sara, that’s a lie! ... Say what you will, but don’t insult me with a lie ...

  ANNA PETROVNA:Low and dishonourable ... You owe Lebedev money and now, to wriggle out of your debt, you’re planning to turn his daughter’s head, to deceive her as you have me. Is that a lie?

  IVANOV [choking]: Stop, for God’s sake! I can’t answer for myself ... I’m choking with anger and I ... I could insult you ...

  ANNA PETROVNA: You’ve always brazenly deceived me, and not only me ... You’ve laid all your dishonest actions on to Borkin, but now I know whose they were ...

  IVANOV: Sara, stop, go away, or my tongue will let slip some word! I’m just aching to say something terrible to you, something really insulting ... [Shouts] Shut your mouth, Yid! ...

&nb
sp; ANNA PETROVNA: I will not stop ... You’ve deceived me too long for me to be able to say nothing ...

  IVANOV: So you won’t stop? [Struggles with himself]For God’s sake...

  ANNA PETROVNA: Now go and deceive Lebedeva ...

  IVANOV: Well then, you should know that you ... will die soon ... The doctor told me you will die soon ...

  ANNA PETROVNA [sitting down, in a weak voice] : When did he say that?

  [A pause.]

  IVANOV [clutching his head]: How guilty I am! God, how guilty! [Sobs.]

  [Curtain.]

  [About a year passes between Acts Three and Four.]

  Act Four

  One of the drawing-rooms in Lebedev’s house. In front is an arch dividing the drawing-room from a ballroom, right and left are doors. Antique bronzes, family portraits. Festive decorations. An upright piano, on it a violin, and beside them a cello. Throughout the whole act guests in evening dress are walking up and down the ballroom.