Make Your Move

by Laura Heffernan

  “Yeah?”

  “You ready? I told Nana we’d leave in five minutes.”

  “Almost. Have you seen my lilac tie? The one I wore on the day you showed me the apartment.”

  You mean the one your girlfriend bought you? I didn’t say that. Instead, I considered the question. “I honestly don’t remember seeing it since right after you moved in. Maybe call the dry cleaners to see if one of us left it there by mistake?”

  “Yeah, I’ll try them. Thanks.”

  I shouldn’t open this can of worms, but I couldn’t resist asking. “Can’t you wear a different one?”

  “Yeah, but it’s my lucky tie. Seemed like Nana’s wedding was a good time to wear it. You know, bring good fortune to the marriage?”

  His lucky tie was the one Megan bought him? How sweet, and not at all annoying. “What a nice thought. I hope you find it.”

  Less than an hour after we finished breakfast, Nana and I arrived at the courthouse with Tyler. Michael’s children and the justice of the peace waited for us along with the groom. His face broke into a radiant smile at the sight of Nana in her wedding dress, a simple knee-length ivory sheath with lace along the sleeves and collar. Her expression mirrored his.

  Wondering if anyone would ever look at me that way again, I pretended to clean my glasses while sneaking a glance at Tyler. Once, we might’ve had a chance, but it was too late. The window for making my move had closed. My heart panged at the thought.

  To focus on something else, I introduced myself to Michael’s family and the officiant. Nana’s sharp eyes darted between me and Tyler. With determination, I ignored her. Poor Nana wanted this relationship so badly, but some things weren’t meant to be.

  On the flight home from the conference, I’d daydreamed about holding Tyler’s hand during the ceremony, about our eyes meeting over the vows and him understanding how I felt about him, without me having to say a word. I’d even imagined him coming to me after Nana and Michael walked out, telling me that he’d broken up with Megan and kissing me gently before walking back down the aisle with me.

  Naturally, none of that happened. In my fantasies, Megan hadn’t been in my house this morning.

  The memory of those dreams filled me with embarrassment. Going away for the weekend with my roommate had been a huge mistake. At least Tyler had no idea that I now found him extremely attractive. If he realized that I pined for him, his pity would only make everything worse.

  “Everything ready?” the justice of the peace asked.

  Pasting a smile on my face, I nodded. Today wasn’t about me and Tyler, it was about Nana and Michael. They were so lucky to have found each other, and I was grateful to be able to share in their joy.

  At the front of the room, a clerk pressed a button on an old iPod, and music filled the room. Nana and Michael walked down the aisle together, hand in hand. My eyes met Michael’s son’s across the aisle, and we exchanged polite smiles. He reached over and squeezed the hand of the man standing beside him, drawing my attention to their matching wedding bands.

  A familiar pang hit me. People thought demisexuals didn’t want love, but that wasn’t true at all. I believed in love, in relationships, in finding the right person to spend the rest of my life with. Plenty of demisexuals or asexuals also believed in marriages of convenience and companionship, but I wanted the whole package. Maybe someday I’d find myself attracted to someone at the same time they wanted me, but today wasn’t that day.

  Once again, my eyes darted involuntarily to the man sitting beside me. He smiled, a friendly gesture I knew better than to read anything into. Pushing my sadness aside, I returned a smile of equal wattage, then turned to focus on the happy couple.

  Their vows turned my smile from forced to genuine. This wasn’t the time or the place to think about my own relationship problems. Nana had been on her own for almost twenty years since my grandfather died, and she deserved to find happiness again.

  The ceremony was short and sweet, followed by a luncheon at Nana’s favorite brunch place. I’d offered to host something in our backyard, but between me being gone for the conference and the two of them getting ready to leave for their honeymoon, Nana decided to leave the preparations and cleanup to someone else. No reason to argue with that logic.

  Tyler accompanied us to the restaurant, but wound up sitting with Michael’s daughter, who worked as a tax attorney. They had plenty to talk about. I settled into my chair between Nana and Michael’s son-in-law quite happily. If the past weekend had taught me anything, it was that Tyler and I should probably spend a little less time together, at least temporarily.

  After the waitress brought champagne, I stood to give my maid-of-honor toast. “To Nana and Michael. I am ecstatic that the two of you found each other. Nana, I love you so much. You’re my best friend, truly, and you’ve taught me everything I know. Michael, I liked you when you were only my mailman. Today I’m proud to be able to call you my grandfather. Be good to one another.”

  Everyone clinked glasses and cheered, but I avoided meeting Tyler’s gaze. His eyes bored into me, and I wondered if he somehow sensed that I wanted him now. It didn’t matter, because we couldn’t be together. Loving someone meant wishing them happiness, with or without you.

  * * * *

  After lunch, Tyler and I drove home while Michael and Nana headed to Maine for their “mini-moon.” They planned to spend the night in Bar Harbor before returning home. Later this year, they’d take a longer trip to Florida when Nana could arrange for Mom to come take care of her bakery. My mom might have weird ideas about food and be kind of a health nut, but she also liked money and knew how to run a store. She’d helped manage Nana’s Bakery for years before moving to Florida.

  Nana had also hinted that she might be thinking about retiring, which made me wonder if she’d try to entice Mom into moving back. I’d believe it when it happened. What must it be like to love your job so much that you never, ever wanted it to end? I didn’t even want to go back to the office tomorrow after four days off, and I loved what I did.

  “You’re awfully quiet,” Tyler said.

  “Just thinking about how hard it’ll be to go back to work after such an excellent long weekend away.”

  “At least you can gloat to Dennis about how awesome the conference was. Remind him that you went and he didn’t.”

  “Yeah.” I sighed. “If only I didn’t hate stooping to his level.”

  “He’s hot garbage. You could never bend low enough to wind up at his level.”

  “Thanks.” I squeezed his hand where it rested on the gear shift, wishing I had a reason to keep touching him.

  He turned his wrist, running his thumb over my fingers, sending a lightning bolt down my spine. I turned to look at him, and something passed between us. All this time, I’d assumed that his feelings for me changed before he started seeing Megan. Suddenly, I wondered if some possibility for romance still lurked between the surface.

  The car stopped at a light. Our hands still touched. At this point, it would be weird to pull back, but it was weirder to stay the way we were, frozen together. The longer we touched, the more my skin burned, calling my attention to the spot. I wanted to lean over and kiss him; I wanted him to lean over and kiss me. From the look on Tyler’s face, he wanted it, too.

  But I wasn’t a boyfriend stealer. Tyler wasn’t a cheater. If anything were to ever happen between us, he’d have to break up with Megan first.

  Summoning an admirable amount of self-restraint, I faked a sneeze, pulling my hand back. Then I dug in my purse under the pretext of needing a tissue. Tyler exhaled, releasing a breath I hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

  Behind us, a car honked. Ahead, empty road stretched between us and the green light. Tyler shifted into gear, and the car started moving. For the rest of the trip home, I clutched my purse in my lap, keeping my gaze focused firmly out the side window.
As the buildings whizzed by, I racked my brain for something to say, some way to tell Tyler how I felt about him. The words never came.

  At the end of the day, I had no business meddling in his relationship. Confessing my feelings would only create a mess. I couldn’t do that to my friend.

  Chapter 16

  “Some people are such dicks, it’s not worth wasting your time on them.” —Gwen

  The next morning, I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling until after Tyler left for work. Memories of the prior day swirled through my head until I simply couldn’t face him. For a shining moment, I’d allowed myself to think he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. But when we got home, he gave me no hint of any interest. In fact, he dropped me off and left, probably to go see his girlfriend. I’d missed my chance.

  The reminder of how desperately I’d wanted to kiss him made me roll over and bury my head under the covers. The only thing more embarrassing than my uncharacteristic behavior after the wedding was knowing how he would have reacted if I’d gone a step further and pressed my lips to his.

  He’d have pulled away. Informed me that he was happy with Megan and that he didn’t want to be anything but roommates. Then, if Megan found out, she’d probably make him move out and I’d be stuck back on Craigslist. Or worse, she’d talk Jameson into firing me.

  A reminder popped up on my phone, informing me that while I’d love to hide in bed all day, my boss expected me to show up at work in time for the staff meeting at eight o’clock. Being heartsick wasn’t an excuse for missing work, so I forced myself out of bed.

  Since Nana and Michael were in Maine, no one expected me to show up at their apartment for breakfast. A pang of loneliness hit me. Nana never took a vacation. Other than when I went to Mexico for Gwen’s wedding and to the conference, we’d eaten breakfast together every morning for years. Even when Nana got sick, I brought food to the hospital. Never had I missed a day and stayed in my own apartment. I didn’t like it.

  Not even stopping at Dunkin’ Donuts on the way made me feel any better. Their coffee cake muffins didn’t hold a candle to Nana’s recipe.

  I hoped her getting married wouldn’t change everything. What if Nana moved into Michael’s condo? Would I walk a mile to his place for breakfast every morning? The thought of eating breakfast alone after all these years made me sad.

  Work was exactly what the doctor ordered after the last few days, a distraction from this maelstrom of emotion.

  With a start, I realized that an all-staff meeting meant seeing Megan first thing as soon as I got back. Even though she hadn’t said anything yet, she couldn’t have been happy that Tyler and I went away together, or that we attended a wedding together when we got back. From Day One, she’d been worried that I had feelings for him, that I might try to steal him away. Having realized that her concerns were right on target, I didn’t know how to face her.

  Not that I’d ever tell her about my feelings—or Tyler, for that matter. No one ever needed to know. The concern was simply that I’d never been a talented liar. With my luck, Megan would take one look at me and see my change of heart branded on me like a big scarlet A.

  I stopped dead in my tracks and pulled out my phone. Ten minutes until the meeting started. Our office building towered above me at the end of the block. In less than two minutes, I’d enter the lobby. The elevator took about another forty-five seconds. When I arrived at my desk, Megan would be there. I knew it.

  Like a coward, I turned and headed for the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts to make my second stop of the morning. It might make me a few minutes late for the meeting, but if I brought Munchkins for the group, Jameson would forgive me.

  Twelve minutes later, I slunk into the office. As expected, a sea of empty desks awaited me. The conference room door stood shut. Through the glass panes beside the door, I saw Jameson standing in the front of the room, up by the whiteboard.

  With an apologetic smile, I cracked the door open and popped my head through. “Good morning, everyone. Sorry I’m late.”

  “How nice of you to join us,” Megan said snidely.

  I held up the small cardboard box in my hand like a shield. “I brought donut holes.”

  “What a lovely gesture!” Jameson said. “Thank you! These are perfect, because this meeting involves a celebration of sorts.”

  A celebration? Suddenly, my mouth went dry. Although I hadn’t checked my work messages since leaving for the conference, if Jameson wanted to promote me, he’d have called my cell. The likelihood of me entering this meeting with a promotion waiting that I didn’t know about approached zero. He must have made the decision over the weekend, without waiting for our second meeting. My heart dropped like a stone.

  Everyone was watching me, so I smiled and murmured wordlessly at Jameson, holding out the box. Hopefully he wouldn’t realize I hadn’t said anything. He took it, and I headed toward the sole empty seat at the conference table. Ryan met my eyes quizzically. I shook my head slightly. No idea who we were celebrating, which meant it wasn’t me.

  The cardboard box of treats went in the middle, and I grabbed two before settling back with my hot tea. Taking a long sip, I braced myself.

  “As I was about to say,” Jameson said, “congratulations are in order.”

  I froze, looking around the room. Sitting next to her father as usual, Megan wore her regular plastic smile, the one that didn’t meet her eyes. She always looked like she thought people should give her awards just for breathing, so that told me nothing. But across the table, I spotted the corners of Dennis’s mouth turning ever so slightly upward. My stomach rolled over, and I pushed the food in front of me away.

  “Last week, an idea for a new game came to my attention,” Jameson said. “Something new, something fun: social deduction games for kids.”

  Hold on a second. No one knew what I’d been fleshing out since finishing my last project. I’d guarded the idea closely, because I wanted everything to be perfect before I took it to Jameson. I spent hours poring over the file, polishing it, making sure there weren’t any mistakes. It wasn’t just one game, but an entire new line, with simplified rules and themes more appropriate for kids than speakeasies or Nazis or mafia members. I loved the idea; had trouble keeping it to myself. Not wanting to spoil the surprise, I didn’t even mention it to Ryan or Tyler. But then how had Jameson found out?

  The days before I left had been a bit of a whirlwind, but could I have been so busy that I forgot telling Jameson my plan? Maybe in one of the emails about the days I’d need off? No. Impossible.

  “Kids aren’t that different from adults,” Jameson said. “They like the same types of games. And one thing kids love is outsmarting other people—especially their parents.”

  Now he was quoting directly from my notes. I thought back to the mess on my desk, trying to remember if I’d printed anything. Since we shared a printer, it was entirely possible Jameson would have found my notes if I’d forgotten to pick them up. The only thing was, those notes shouldn’t have been on the printer in the first place. I was very sure I’d never printed anything, and I couldn’t have been distracted enough to do it by mistake.

  “In fact, I know these new games are going to be a hit,” he continued. “I love this concept so much that I’ve decided to promote the person who came up with it.”

  At his words, a massive smile crossed my face. This was really happening. He was going to give me the promotion! I’d worked so long, so hard. Between winning the team-building exercise and creating this new game, I’d absolutely earned the title of executive game designer. In my excitement, I almost forgot that my boss shouldn’t know these games existed. We were scheduled to talk about them tomorrow.

  Everyone in the room held their breath, waiting to hear who Jameson would name. I sat up a bit straighter in my seat, savoring this moment.

  As I shifted, my eyes met Dennis’s. All of a sudden, I knew exactly
how Jameson learned about this game. My mind went back to the day I tripped over my chair, to Dennis’s watching eyes. I thought about how he’d read my emails to Tyler and found out about my plans to present Construct Me.

  With horror, I realized exactly what was about to happen, and I didn’t know any way to stop it. Desperately, I jumped to my feet. “Jameson, can I talk to you for a moment privately?”

  “After the meeting. Come on, Shannon, you know better than to try to steal someone else’s thunder.”

  Yes, unlike the other people in this office, stealing wasn’t my style. With a huff, I slumped back into my chair, mind racing.

  “As I was saying,” Jameson continued, “let’s all give a hand to our new executive game designer. Congratulations, Dennis! What a great new product line you’ve come up with!”

  * * * *

  After the meeting, I remained in my chair, red-hot rage blinding me. My mind raced. Dennis stole my idea. No question. But how did he get the details? Back when he first searched my computer, I’d only sketched out some of the basics. Since the day of the competition, when I realized what happened, I’d not only been extremely careful about locking my computer, I’d changed my password to something random, obtained from a random password generator online. They’d never guess it—I’d had to walk around with it written down on a slip of paper in my bra for a week before memorizing it.

  A thought occurred to me. Shoving my chair backward, I grabbed my phone and stuck it in a pocket of my dress. Then I snuck outside to call Holly, walking deep into an empty section of the parking lot where I could see if anyone approached.

  “Calling on the phone? Wow, I must be a high-level friend!” she said when I answered. “Are we hiding bodies?”

  I chuckled. “Not yet. Maybe. But also, this is too complicated for text. I need your IT expertise.”

  “Sure. What’s up?”

  Quickly, I explained how Dennis stole my project idea, and how I suspected he’d managed to access my computer. “Typically, in an office, could the big boss—or, I don’t know, the big boss’s daughter—access passwords?”