Make Your Move

by Laura Heffernan

  “You got it.”

  As we drove, my mind swirled over the morning’s events and how quickly Tyler came to my aid when I needed him. As much as being the damsel in distress sucked, knowing that he had my back meant the world to me. I shot a glance at his profile as he drove, looking at the strong line of his jaw and those strong, high cheekbones.

  When I realized what I was doing, a wave of embarrassment hit me. After everything I’d been through, here I sat ogling my friend. I still couldn’t believe I’d found myself attracted to him over the course of the weekend. And now, of course, I couldn’t turn it off. What terrible timing. I couldn’t have had this epiphany before Tyler started seeing someone else? It had been months; things probably were getting serious, especially if he’d let Megan into our apartment after promising not to invite her over unless I was okay with it.

  His phone chimed with a text. His lips quirked as he glanced at it at the next stoplight. Megan, probably. I honestly didn’t want to know, but some small sadistic part of my mind had to ask. “Something funny?”

  “It’s nothing,” he said. “Liz sent me a joke.”

  My spine stiffened involuntarily. “Liz. Sacramento Liz from the conference Liz?”

  “Yeah, that’s her full name.”

  His chuckle only infuriated me more. Sacramento was a long way from Boston, but I hated thinking that the two of them kept in touch after the conference. She lived so far away, it had to be innocent, but I couldn’t shake my memory of the way she looked at Tyler. “Seriously? You exchanged numbers?”

  He shrugged. “She sent me a friend request on Facebook. After I accepted, she messaged me. Why?”

  “Huh. She didn’t send me one,” I said pointedly.

  “She probably thought you didn’t want to be her friend,” he said, pointing out the obvious. “Is something wrong?”

  Yes, of course. I’d developed a crush on my roommate and close friend while he was in a serious relationship with one woman and flirting with another, meaning that he probably wouldn’t want to be with me even if I hadn’t blown my chance with him six months ago when he kissed me and I rejected him. None of which I could confess.

  The car sped up after we passed an accident by the side of the road. Tyler let the silence stretch between us as he drove the rest of the way home. The minutes ticked by. Finally he turned to face me. “Seriously, Shannon, have I upset you somehow?”

  “No. Everything’s fine,” I lied.

  “See, I know you’re lying. You’ve been weird since the conference,” he said. “I figured you were tired, and I know you got a bad break at work this morning, but I can’t shake the feeling that you’re upset with me. You’re mad Liz and I are Facebook friends? Or that she sent me a message?”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be upset with you, and I very much appreciate you coming to get me this morning.” I ignored his other questions.

  “So what’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know.” I sighed. Maybe it would be easier to let everything out in the open, clear the air between us. “I don’t know why it bothered me so much to watch you flirt with Liz all weekend.”

  “I wasn’t flirt—” He hit the brakes and the car came to a hard stop. “Hold on. It bothered you when we were talking?”

  My breath caught at the look on his face. I didn’t want to admit my jealousy, not when he could have any woman he wanted. He didn’t want me anymore, and who could blame him? I saw no reason to tell Tyler about my feelings. So instead I reached for a partial truth. “It’s nothing. It’s just that you seem like such a nice guy. Loyal, trustworthy…”

  “I’m not sure if I should say thank you or ask if you’re describing a dog. But those are good things. What’s wrong with being loyal and trustworthy?”

  “You’re not! You spent all weekend flirting with Liz when you have a girlfriend. She was sitting at home waiting for you to call her while you were out flitting around the conference breaking hearts.”

  He snorted. “I wasn’t flirting with Liz, at least not intentionally. Just being friendly. I wish you’d said something earlier, because I’d have stopped. I hate thinking I led her on without meaning to.”

  “Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” I said. “But then why keep in touch?”

  “I’ve always had female friends. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Megan doesn’t mind?”

  “She doesn’t mind me living with you, does she?” Actually, she did, but I couldn’t tell him that. “Anyway, I don’t need her permission to make friends. And Liz is a fellow accountant. She’s looking for work out west, so I told her I’d hook her up with the hiring manager in our San Francisco office.”

  “Oh. That was nice of you.”

  “Yeah.” He paused. “Seriously, next time you want to know something, just ask. Don’t jump to conclusions. Especially conclusions that make me seem like a dog.”

  “Sorry,” I said. “I should’ve known better.”

  The car turned onto our street, and suddenly all thoughts of Liz and Megan and conferences and even Tyler flew out of my head. A choking sound escaped me, and both hands flew to my face. I couldn’t breathe.

  “Are you…” Tyler’s voice trailed off, telling me exactly when he saw the same thing that had sent my heart slamming into my throat.

  An ambulance sitting in our driveway, rear doors open and lights flashing.

  Chapter 18

  “It’s never too late to tell someone you love them.” —Nathan

  Tyler stomped the accelerator, sending us leaping forward. He screeched to a halt on the street before slamming into Park. Something in me snapped, and I flung the door open practically before the car halted, barely remembering to remove my seat belt before it choked me. I raced for the front of the house, screaming Nana’s name repeatedly.

  Tyler caught up with me at the door. He caught my arms, bringing me out of the middle of the hall.

  “NANA!” The word came out half as a yell, half as a sob.

  He was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear anything. All I saw was the ambulance with the flashing lights, my mental image of Nana on the floor. If I could get to her side, she’d be okay. But Tyler was in the way and he refused to move, no matter how I shoved or kicked at him.

  Finally, he pulled me close, wrapping me in arms of steel. “Shhh. Shannon, it’s okay. She’s okay.”

  “Let go of me!”

  “Sorry, I can’t,” he said. “Hear that? The paramedics are down there, talking to her. They’ll help, but you have to let them do their job.”

  “I need to see her.” In that moment, I hated him. I wanted to kick and punch and pull his hair until he fell to one side, giving me access to Nana.

  “I know, and you will. But listen. They’re coming up the stairs now. We’re in the way. Come outside with me.”

  The notion of preventing the paramedics from getting Nana to the ambulance permeated the fog in my mind. I allowed Tyler to lead me down the front steps to the side of the driveway.

  Voices came through the open door. A moment later, a man and a woman carried a stretcher over the threshold and onto the front porch. Nana looked so tiny, with an oxygen mask on her face. Her painted fingernails lay on top of the sheet, so vibrant against the stark white fabric. Her face more closely resembled the fabric of that sheet than the red of her fingernails. At least she was breathing.

  A choked sob escaped me, and the woman looked over. “Are you Shannon O’Rourke?”

  I couldn’t speak, but Tyler answered. “She is.”

  The male paramedic said, “Next of kin? You can ride with us if you’d like.”

  I nodded dumbly, my eyes never leaving the slow rise and fall of Nana’s chest. “What happened? And where’s Michael?”

  Tyler held up his phone. “Michael is at the grocery store. He’ll start walking
back immediately, but I’m going to go pick him up and meet you at the hospital.”

  “Meet me?”

  “Yeah. You’re going in the ambulance, remember?”

  Right.

  “Unless you don’t want to,” he said.

  “No, I do. Thanks.”

  While we spoke, the paramedics had finished putting Nana in the back. The female now sat in the driver’s seat, while the male stood with one hand on the back door.

  “You ready?” he asked me.

  With a nod, I climbed in beside her and grabbed her hand. She squeezed back, which lifted my spirits about 10,000 percent. For the next several minutes, I held her hand and whispered silent prayers.

  The paramedics adjusted a few things before slamming the rear doors shut. The last thing I saw was Tyler, getting into his car and driving back the direction we came.

  Finally, we started moving, and I felt comfortable enough to speak. “Hold on, Nana. I’m not ready to lose you yet.”

  “She can’t talk to you,” one of the paramedics said. “She’s sedated.”

  It didn’t matter. Being near her was enough. Sitting here and watching her breathe, as if the weight of my stare would be enough to keep her chest rising and falling rhythmically.

  Michael showed up at the hospital not long after we arrived, while Nana was still getting settled. I’d been directed to the waiting room, clicking through the channels on the TV purely to have something to do. Focusing on the changing screens kept me from losing it while I waited to find out what was going on.

  “Here,” he said, holding out an object. “Tyler said you left this in his car.”

  My phone. He not only noticed that I’d left my phone behind, but he’d taken the time to make sure I got it back. Even though we were having a stupid argument when we spotted the ambulance.

  I glanced at the door. “Where is he, looking for a parking space?”

  “No, he went home. Said this is a time for family.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to state that Tyler was family, but I stopped myself. He wasn’t. He was Megan’s family, for as long as she wanted him to be. If Michael saw the sadness that crossed my face, he didn’t comment. Good, because I didn’t know what to say.

  “Do you know what happened?” I asked instead.

  He shook his head. “The doctors haven’t said anything yet. The paramedics said she called nine-one-one herself, which is a good sign. Now we wait.”

  “Right. We wait.” And wish, and hope.

  “Rose is very lucky to have you, you know.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “You, too.”

  “No,” he said with a sad smile. “I’m the lucky one.”

  The look on his face made me realize exactly how untrue that statement was. Nana’s life changed for the better when she met Michael. Just like my life changed when I started spending more time with Tyler. He wasn’t the person I should want to comfort me in moments like this, but I couldn’t help wishing he sat in the empty chair beside me, holding my hand.

  A doctor approached, pulling Michael to the side for a conversation. I eavesdropped long enough to determine that Nana should make a full recovery. My entire body sagged with relief. She would live. With a few basic lifestyle changes, she would be fine. Nana wasn’t that old; she could have many years left if she took care of herself.

  Only one person could go in to visit her at a time, so Michael went through the double doors first. While waiting for my turn, I picked up my phone. I needed to say something to Tyler, but didn’t even know where to start. Sorry for flying into a weird jealous rage for no reason?

  My first instinct should have been to text one of my best friends, but Tyler had been the one to find Nana with me. He was the one to compliment her roses the day they met, to put her trash bins down at the curb every week, to treat her with the same care and consideration he’d show his own grandmother.

  But I didn’t need Tyler by my side. I shouldn’t call him for comfort. Michael and I would be fine. Instead, I needed to talk to the rest of my family.

  Now that we had an update on Nana’s condition, I stepped outside to call Mom and let her know what was happening. She and Dad had been prepared to board the next flight to Boston after Michael called them from the grocery store.

  “Thanks. Sometimes it’s hard being so far away from family,” she said after I gave the update.

  “I get it, but everything is fine. I promise, when you need to be here, I’ll let you know.”

  “Let’s hope that’s not for a very long time.”

  After we said our good-byes, I called the manager of Nana’s bakery to let her know what happened. Nana still did most of the baking but only worked the counter a couple of days a week; Deana handled the shop the rest of the time. She assured me that she’d take care of everything and let me know she’d swing by after the shop closed for the night.

  Once we finished, I weighed my phone in one hand, studying it as if doing so would cause another text to appear. I wanted to talk to Tyler—no, I needed the contact—but after our argument in the car and my conversation with Megan, I didn’t know what to say to him. I needed to put some distance between us, without letting him know why, even though it would break my heart.

  But I didn’t need to ghost him. At the very least, he deserved to know that Nana was going to be okay. He probably wasn’t texting because he knew I’d be busy and distracted. Of course he’d assume I’d text an update without waiting for him to ask for it.

  Me: She’s out of the woods. Will be home later. Thank you for everything.

  The reply came seconds later. You’re welcome.

  Somehow those two words on the screen made my heart lighter than any moment since I’d turned onto my street that afternoon. Tyler was only a text away, and he’d show up for me if I asked.

  Ask I would, as soon as I came up with a way to avoid the wrath of Megan. Once I did, I’d force myself to summon the courage to tell my friend and roommate that I’d fallen in love with him.

  Chapter 19

  “You can’t turn attraction off any more than you can turn it on. When you find someone who gets you excited, go for it.” —Gwen

  A couple of hours later, the doctors told me Nana was in stable enough condition that it made no sense for me to stay with her overnight. She insisted I leave rather than “moping over” her bed all night long while she slept. Begrudgingly, I dropped Michael off before heading home in Tyler’s car, which he’d left in the parking garage for us.

  By the time I got home, my body felt like I’d run multiple marathons. The shock of Nana’s incident followed by all the waiting wiped me out, especially after the emotional drain of work that morning. Huh. My conversation with Megan seemed weeks ago. The second Michael dropped me off, I dragged myself to my room and fell on top of the bedspread, fully clothed.

  A moment later, a knock sounded.

  Tyler. I stifled a groan, too worn out to pretend to be okay. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him. It’s that I wanted to see him too much. But this wasn’t the time to confess my feelings—I was much too exhausted out for an emotionally heavy conversation.

  “Come in.” I called, because it was such an ingrained response and not because of any desire to see or talk to anyone.

  The door opened slowly. Tyler poked his head in.

  At his concerned look, the well of tears I’d managed to suppress ever since seeing the ambulance in the driveway threatened to overflow. I nodded through blurred vision. A moment later, Tyler’s weight sank onto the bed beside me. “I’m so sorry, Shannon. How is she?”

  “She’s going to be okay,” I said. “The doctors are predicting a full recovery.”

  “Oh, thank goodness.” Relief filled his voice. He spoke quietly, almost reverently, as if afraid to consider what might have happened. “Is there anything I can do for
you?”

  “Stay with me for a bit?” My voice sounded so plaintive, I barely recognized it. “I don’t want to be alone.”

  Leaning over, I put my head on his shoulder. He put his arms around me, and finally, I let myself sob. He sniffled. Tears fell into our laps, mingling until I didn’t know who shed what. For a long time, we sat in silence together, joined by our shock at almost losing the most important person in my life, our relief that I’d been given the gift of more time with her. The rest of the world fell away.

  His arms felt so warm around me, so right. It reminded me of the morning when we woke up together at the conference. But this time, we were both fully awake and aware of the way our bodies fit together.

  Even after our argument earlier, he wanted to take care of me. He could have left me to suffer alone. Instead, he sat on the bed, stroking my hair with one hand. As time passed, we’d nestled and adjusted until the two of us were half-lying, half-sitting on top of the covers.

  This was my moment. The turning point in our relationship. All I had to do was lift my head, look up, and lean toward him. My lips would find his. My actions would show Tyler how I felt about him. He’d know that I’d realized I wanted to be with him.

  Indecision kept me frozen in place. He hadn’t given me any indication that he wanted to be with me now. Still, I couldn’t afford to repress my feelings. It was so difficult to find someone, especially in this day of dating apps and people spending all their time online. He was good and sweet and handsome and smart and charming. Those things were what mattered. Not to mention the way I felt when we were together. No one else made everything I did a genuine joy. The apartment felt cold when he wasn’t home. He was the person I looked to for advice or comfort, and the only person I ever wanted in my bed.

  That’s why, finally, with a deep breath, I wiped my eyes, and turned toward Tyler, lips parted in anticipation. His breath warmed my face. My mouth suddenly felt paper dry, but I couldn’t back out now. We’d been moving toward this moment for too long.

  A loud snore emerged from his lips, moving me backward. While I’d been lying on the bed, searching my soul, he’d fallen asleep.