My Secret Alpha Step SEAL

by Paula Mabbel

  She began looking for reasons to go to the doctor. She felt if she was able to go to the doctor for another reason, then she could just ask the doctor about it when she was in the office. If she went about it that way, then she was going to be able to figure out what was wrong with her and not have to worry about anything.

  It was surprisingly difficult to find a reason to go to the doctor. Nothing out of the ordinary happened that would prompt her to go, and she couldn’t bring herself to be reckless and hurt herself in such a way to have to go.

  Josephine walked down to breakfast. She had overslept and felt nauseous.

  “You should really try to eat something, Love. You haven’t eaten much for the past few days.” Ruben was eating a nice pile of bacon and eggs, and he spoke between large bites.

  Josephine sat down, but it felt as though her breakfast was just staring back at her. She excused herself and ran to the bathroom.

  A few hours later she found herself in the doctor’s office. She had been throwing up and feeling ill, and when she realized she was late, she had a feeling she knew why. Ruben was beaming, she had told him what she suspected, and he was thrilled.

  “A son! It is going to be a son!” He said as they were riding into town. Josephine smiled, but she said nothing. She was trying not to vomit with each dip in the road, but it was a battle.

  Now, as she sat in the doctor’s office, she debated on whether or not she should say anything about how she had been feeling. She wondered if it was due to her possibly being pregnant, but deep down inside she knew that it had to be something else.

  She had been feeling dizzy and weak for a lot longer than this morning sickness, and it had definitely been getting worse.

  “Well young Miss, I have some great news for you… you are going to be a mother!” The doctor said as he came back into the room. Josephine’s heart leapt inside of her. She had figured this was the case, but to hear it actually said out loud made her feel incredible.

  “I will be seeing you again soon,” the doctor said with a smile. “So, unless you have any further questions, I will bid you good morning.”

  “That will be all,” she said, but hesitated. The doctor turned to go, but she stopped him.

  “There is one other thing… I have been feeling strange lately… Not just with the baby, this has been going on a lot longer than this.” The doctor stopped to listen, and Josephine poured out her heart to him.

  She told him everything that she had felt, and how she had been slowly getting worse. The doctor looked concerned, and sat and listened.

  “I can’t say for sure what it is, but I have a few ideas.” He said at last. “Why don’t you come in again next week, and we will do a few tests.”

  “Do you think that it’s serious?” She asked, suddenly feeling concerned herself.

  “I don’t want to worry you, but I think it is definitely worth looking into.” He bid her good day, and left.

  On the way home, Josephine told Ruben everything. She felt that it was time to let him know the whole story, but it felt weird telling him all of it now.

  “Let’s just focus on how happy we are about the baby.” He looked grim, and kept both of his hands on the reins and his eyes straight ahead on the road before them.

  Josephine pulled her cloak up around her shoulders further. There was something about this situation that made her feel alone. She didn’t know if she should have told him sooner, or if she just felt scared. Regardless of what was wrong with her, she knew it was going to be a struggle.

  There were Christmas trees in the windows of homes that they passed, and Josephine closed her eyes. She thought that her days of worry were over, but now she felt uncertain. It was as though everything that she had come to know in the past few months was suddenly being taken away from her.

  She hated this feeling. It was the same feeling she had when she was being let go from her restaurant job months before, and it hurt.

  She didn’t care what happened, she just wanted it all to be ok.

  *****

  Cancer.

  It was a terrible thing that she had only heard of. Doctors were working to learn more about this disease, and most of it was still a mystery, but the doctor was certain that was what Josephine had.

  “Am I going to die, doctor? What about my baby?” She had tears in her eyes, and fought for control.

  “I am afraid that the outlook for this isn’t very promising… we see a lot of patients pass through these doors, and few of them are able to cope with this well. We will do everything that we can for you and your child, but I am afraid that the treatment is limited, and costly.”

  Ruben had been sitting silently next to her for the discussion, but he perked up at the mention of treatment. He had been treating her like a fragile glass doll since she had told him, and he had feared the worst from the start.

  To him, money was something that was unlimited, and if he could pay to have her healed, he was going to do it.

  “What are we looking at for treatment?” She asked.

  “Right now, surgery is the best and most effective treatment. If you are willing to travel up to the northern part of the state, there is a surgeon up there that specializes in this kind of surgery, and he would be able to help you. I have to warn you, though, he isn’t cheap.

  We are talking in the thousands for this surgery.” He stood up to go, but Ruben stopped him.

  “Money isn’t any problem. We have plenty, and no matter what it takes, that is what we are going to do.” He put his hand over Josephine’s, and looked determined.

  The doctor smiled. “Mr. Stein, I am not going to make you any promises, but I assure you it is worth a shot. This weather is going to make it difficult to get up there, but I encourage you to act quickly. He is a busy man.”

  With that, the doctor left, and they were left alone.

  “Don’t you worry, I am sure it isn’t going to be that much. We have enough money to deal with it, and we are going to make you… and the baby… all better.”

  Two days later they were sitting in the office of specialist John Dodston. They had taken the next coach up north, and they had waited in his office until they were able to get in.

  The receptionist told them they had to make an appointment, but they were insistent, and she allowed them to stay in the event that something opened up. After what felt like an eternity, someone didn’t show up for their appointment, and they were allowed in.

  The Doctor Dodston felt around Josephine’s abdomen and back, and looked grim.

  “I have seen this before, it isn’t easy to take care of, and I have lost a lot of patients to it. I will have to go in and do surgery, and the sooner, the better. Unfortunately, there are a lot of other people that need my care, and I am afraid I will have to see them first.”

  “I will make it worth your while,” Mr. Stein interrupted. “I have all of the money that you will require, just please take care of her.”

  Doctor Dodston paused, his hand on the door. “I am afraid you don’t know how much that would be, Sir.”

  “Name your price, and I have it.” Ruben pressed.

  “Well…” Doctor Dodston smiled a sly smile. “Perhaps we can work something out.”

  Ruben stood with his hand in his pockets, staring at the snow fall outside the window.

  “That would be all of the money. It would be gone…” Josephine was saying. She was sitting on the bed, talking to Ruben about what the doctor had said.

  “It’s money, Love. Money is money, there is always more of it, but you are you, and you are the only you I can ever have.” Ruben kissed her, then told her to get some rest, he was going to take a walk.

  Ruben walked with his hands in his pockets and his head down. There was a cold wind blowing but his mind was on other things. He loved Josephine, but he felt torn. It was going to take all of his money, and everything he had spent his life working towards.

  The doctor had said that he had not had a successful surge
ry of this kind, and that the patient never pulled through. Of course he wouldn’t hesitate if he knew she was going to be ok, but if he spent everything to make her better, and she passed away anyway, then he would truly lose everything.

  He walked for over an hour, but couldn’t bring himself to a conclusion. She had told him that she didn’t think they should risk it. She didn’t want him to lose everything, and it would be pretty certain that he would.

  But on the other hand, he felt selfish. He loved her more than anyone else, and their baby. He would never be able to forgive himself when she passed on if he knew that he could have tried to save her and did nothing.

  Ruben felt angry. He had always been in control of what happened to him. If he wanted something, he got it, no matter what it was. There was nothing in the world that he had to deprive himself of, and there was nothing that had ever happened to him that his money couldn’t buy.

  Now, it didn’t seem to matter. Sure, he would be willing to lose everything to have her, but he didn’t know if it would be enough. He hated that his money couldn’t fix her. There were no guarantees with this. All the money in the world couldn’t ensure that his family was going to be ok, and this powerless feeling infuriated him.

  Later that night Ruben returned to their hotel room, and he found Josephine asleep on the bed. She was lying on her side, with her large belly taking up most of the bed.

  She was sleeping so peacefully. Ruben wanted to curl up in bed behind her, and wrap his arms around her, pulling her close to him.

  It was at that moment he decided they were going to go through with the surgery, no matter what the cost. It wasn’t much of a chance, but it was a chance. If there was any way in the world she might be ok, he was going to go through with it.

  He crawled into bed, and pulled her close.

  “It is going to be ok, I promise.” He whispered in her ear.

  *****

  Ruben paced back and forth in the waiting room. The doctor said that the surgery was going to be a few hours, but Ruben still jumped up every time a nurse walked out. He and Josephine had arrived at the hospital before the sun was up… they had wanted to get her in early… yet here he still was, long after the sun had gone down.

  He knew this was an intense surgery, and that there was a slim chance that Josephine would even survive it, but he wished they would tell him something, anything. He could see a few of the nurses running back and forth between the various patients, and some kept going back to where they did surgery and coming back out, but they didn’t pay any attention to him.

  “Sir, please try to relax,” a nurse finally stopped to tell him. “This is a really intense surgery, and he is going to have to take his time to make sure he gets all of the tumors out of her. We also have to keep in mind how the anesthesia is working and have your wife’s life at the utmost of our concern. We know it is hard for you to wait out here, but please, have a seat. We are going to tell you as soon as we know anything.”

  He thanked her and sat down, but he still felt jittery.

  As he sat there, he thought about Josephine, and the life that they had together. He missed her. Her smile, her laugh, the way that she looked at him and hugged him.

  The thought of losing her… or the baby… was almost more than he could bear. He finally sat down on the bench and buried his face in his hands. Softly, through the window, he could hear singing.

  He got up and looked outside. There, in the snowy street, stood a small group of Christmas carolers. They were singing in perfect harmony, and sounded like a group of angels standing out there in the cold.

  Ruben was filled with an overwhelming peace, and watched them sing, with tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t know why, but suddenly, it felt like everything was going to be ok. There was a small voice inside of him that told him no matter what happened, he was going to get through it, and it would all come together in the end.

  The feeling was so strong, and so awe inspiring, he was left at a loss.

  Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

  “She can see you now,” the nurse said.

  Snow fell all around the small cabin, piling high in the windows. There was a warm fire crackling in the fireplace, and Ruben smiled down at the small bundle he held in his hands.

  It was Christmas morning, and he and Josephine sat across from each other in front of the fire. He held in his hands little William Ruben Stein, and in Josephine’s arms lay Noel Grace Stein.

  Twins, born early that morning, with both the little ones and their mother doing just fine.

  Ruben sat back in the chair and closed his eyes. He was the happiest man in the world. He had to sell all of his cattle, the ranch house, and the ranch in order to pay for her surgery and follow up treatment, but he used what little he had left to purchase this small cabin on the edge of town.

  To Ruben, money had always been his whole life. Anything and everything that he did was tied to making more money in some way. But now, sitting in his small living room with his wife and two babies, he didn’t even think of money. He didn’t miss the servants, didn’t miss the money, and didn’t miss the big house.

  There was nothing at that moment that could have made him any happier than he was.

  Josephine looked at her husband holding her son, and smiled. She pulled her daughter close then kissed her small forehead. She had been feeling so much better, all the aches, pains, and dizziness were gone, and she had given birth to two perfect twins.

  She felt like the luckiest woman that ever was. The fact that all of the money and riches was gone didn’t bother her in the least, she was so happy to be alive, and that she had her family around her.

  Their house was small, their Christmas tree was even smaller, but somehow, it was all perfect. She had enjoyed that bit of money while they had it, but to her, she was used to living without a lot, and in comparison, she would choose this life over the rich life any day.

  She preferred not having any of the servants, and she liked being able to clean her own house. To Josephine, this was absolute bliss.

  It didn’t matter how much it snowed, they were warm and snug on the inside of the small cabin. Everyone was warm, happy, and healthy, and there was nothing to worry about.

  For the first time in her entire life, Josephine knew that it was all going to be ok, and she could feel that it was going to stay that way, for a very, very long time.

  *****

  THE END

  Here is a FREE bonus 8000 word romance story “Faith In A Cowboy” by Cassandra Michaels.

  Faith in A Cowboy

  Tessa could often feel the envious glances she received from the other women in the city when she walked through the narrow and dank streets. She ignored them for the most part, but occasionally she couldn’t help getting frustrated by the constant glaring she had to succumb to. It wasn’t even her fault. She had been born a simple miller’s daughter. But in her situation now, that had made things worse instead of better.

  The girls in the city hated her because she married way above her value. She should have in all rights married someone who worked in a stable or perhaps a fisherman if she was lucky. She had been born with an incredible beauty, though, a beauty that would have never have allowed her to stay, so low down on the chain of importance.

  She had met her husband a few summers back, and although she could tell from his clothes that he carried importance, she didn’t who he was or what he did. He had been looking for the local tavern that night. Luckily, that happened to be the place that Tessa worked. She enjoyed it there. Although the men often acted as though they were animals, it wasn’t enough to put her off. She liked the fact that there was always something going on. She liked the fact that everybody spoke as though they were equals once they had a mug of beer in their hand and smile on their face.

  George was as handsome as he was bitter. Although he had risen in the ranks and become the city’s head judge, he would never match his brother’s reputation for his ro
le in the military. He had brown eyes that were filled with warmth that his heart did not possess and his smile was filled with enough magic to lure a thousand girls into their undoing. Tessa had helped him to the tavern, but had marked him quickly down as trouble. There was something about his cocky attitude and twinkling eyes that made her feel uneasy.

  He, however, clearly did not feel uneasy around Tessa. In fact, for the next two weeks he showed up at the tavern every night that she was working. She ignored him the best that she could, but it seemed that her ignorance only fuelled his desire. When the two weeks were coming to a close, she found herself being serenaded by musicians who worked for hire and poets who seemed to understand love far better than she ever could.

  On the final night of his pursuit he requested her hand in marriage much to the surprise of everyone else in the room. Tessa could hear the locals whispering around their pints as they waited for her answer. They knew what she was going to say, though. They knew that a miller’s daughter could never afford to say no to that kind of proposal. Tessa could feel her hands being tied behind her back as friendly looks turned to those of envy and spite.

  “Of course I’ll marry you.” She said with a nod of her head. She didn’t smile, but George didn’t seem to notice. In fact, he was far too busy celebrating his triumph than caring at all about what she was doing or how she was feeling. She pulled the ring up her finger and placed her hand over a candle, so that she could get a better look of it.

  It was beautiful. The thin gold band was woven out of three even thinner strips and the diamond in the center looked clearer than any jewel she had ever seen. It was gorgeous and she knew that many girls had probably dreamed about a ring like it for all of their lives. She spent the rest of the night with her attention split between her husband to be and her new ring that seemed to weigh heavy on her hand.