by Paula Mabbel
She knew from the moment that he knelt down that her working days were over. Her husband earned enough to support them both and she was sure he would expect his wife to take care of the home rather than serve beer down at the local tavern. Tessa wondered whether there was anything she could have done to prevent the proposal. She wondered whether playing hard to get had been too much of tease for him and she should have acted like the other girls who fawned over his every word. It might have worked. She might have escaped his attention if she had played it like that, but it was too late for those kinds of thoughts now.
The news about the wedding spread quickly around the city and Tessa could hear people whispering behind her back wherever she went. It was a scandal that George was to marry a Miller’s daughter, or so everybody thought out loud. She stopped going out shortly after that, she figured that she was best kept away from the eyes of the people who cast her with such shadowy judgement.
She knew what they all thought deep down. They thought that she had somehow tricked him. They thought that she had led him astray and that he was simply doing the honorable thing. She knew that there wasn’t a single person throughout the city who thought that it was in fact her hand being forced. She knew that no one would believe that a miller’s daughter didn’t want to marry a judge with so much power, influence, and money.
They were married a few months after the initial proposal, even though George’s family shared the concerns with the rest of the people from the city. George wasn’t willing to stand for any of it though. He had chosen his wife and to him, she was the perfect jewel to hand off of his arm. He liked pretty things and he was sure that Tessa was the prettiest of them all.
The wedding was small, but beautiful. Tessa knew that if it had been with the right person then it could have been something really special. She had promised to love and obey George though, and she planned on taking those vows very seriously. She’d had accepted his proposal for the chance of a better life, but she knew that to obtain that she would have to live up to George’s high expectations.
*******
Tessa sighed as she watched George walk out of his study. He was wearing one his best suits and his hair had been slicked back. He had a glazed over look in his eyes that made Tessa feel as though his mind was much further away from her than his body appeared to be.
“You look nice.” She said, when it became clear that he had no intention of addressing her himself.
“I should hope so.” George said without a mention of gratitude for her compliment.
“Are you going somewhere?” Tessa asked, as a thin line creased over her forehead and pulled her eyes together into a soft frown.
“I should think that much is obvious.” George said in an agitated voice. He hated his time being wasted over trivial matters.
“Would you like me to accompany you?” Tessa asked and then walked over to George and straightened his tie.
“I should think that If I’d of wanted that, then I would have asked.” George said and then batted Tessa’s hand away with his own.
Tessa didn’t say anything. She took a few steps away from her husband and tried to take some slow and steady breaths. She had been in this marriage for two years, but she felt invisible. George had no interest in anything she had to say. He barely even had an interest in her looks anymore. She had been a new and exciting toy to him at first, but now she was outdated and cast aside.
She knew what George did when he went out. She had heard the rumors fly around the city. She had watched as people whispered with their eyes fixed on her, as though she was the only person in the city that didn’t know that he was a cheating love rat. She knew, though, of course she knew, but what could she do? She had taken her vows to honor and stand by him and those vows were all she had left.
She had given up everything else when she had accepted his marriage proposal. She had given up her job. She had given up her friends who now only thought of her in moments of spite or jealousy. She had even given up the very fundamental things that made Tessa the girl she was. She’d stopped being sarcastic. She’d started to learn how to cook and clean properly. She had turned herself into exactly the girl that George had wanted, but it wasn’t enough and now that she was two years into the marriage, she was sure that it would never be enough and that she was already, so tired of trying.
She finished her steady breaths and then looked back at George. She could still feel the inner rage at the injustice of her life, but it was subdued and calmed enough to allow her to speak without revealing it. “Will you be out late?” She asked him, but she suspected that she knew the answer.
“I might take a room at the Inn tonight.” He said without any concern for how she might feel about it. “You’ll see me tomorrow; I have no doubt.” He added and then he walked over to the front door and stopped to pull on his long overcoat.
“I know what you’re doing.” Tessa said as the subdued anger became less so and she realized that she couldn’t go on in the way that she was.
“Well, I have just told you.” George said condescendingly.
“You know what I mean.” Tessa said. Her heart had started to pound at the anticipation of the conflict her words were starting. She could feel her veins throbbing as her blood shot around her body and made her feel alive in a way she had doubted she had been for a long time.
“I’m sure that I don’t.” George said. “Are you feeling okay? Have you a fever?” He asked with fake concern in his eyes.
“You know quite well that my health is fine.” Tessa said in a steady voice that was filled with strength she didn’t know she had. “How can you go out each night and dishonor your wife?” She asked him and she could feel the pain of his choices flowing into her eyes and becoming obvious to anyone who chose to look.
“You’re a miller’s daughter.” George said with a look of fury and disgust in his eyes. “There is no way of me dishonoring you, only you are dishonoring me.”
“Is that so?” Tessa said.
“Quite so.” George said and he took a step closer to Tessa.
She watched him walk towards her and her body urged her to move back, but she couldn’t. She needed to stand her ground. She needed to show George that he couldn’t treat her this way just because of where she had come from. He had chosen her as his wife. That was his choice and he shouldn’t have done it, if he had no intention of sticking to his vows.
“Well, I think you’re sadly mistaken.” Tessa said and she turned her nose slightly in the air. “It’s both our names that are whispered about on the streets, not just mine.”
“I’m sure it is.” George said with a sneer. “But I can assure you my name is only mentioned in wonderment, as to how you ever tricked me into this marriage.”
“I did no such thing.” Tessa said indignantly. “I didn’t even want to accept your proposal.” She said and a great weight lifted as soon as the truth had left her lips.
“You ungrateful whore.” George said with fury in his voice as his hand rose up and slapped across Tessa’s cheek with such force that she heard her bones crunching under his touch.
She stood in stillness, when he turned and walked back to the door. She could feel a thousand angry thoughts racing around her mind. She could feel the pull of each one of them as they dared her to speak up and defend herself, but her jaw was so much pain that tears had started to burn in the corner of her eyes and she was unsure about whether she could even speak.
The door closed with a thud that rippled through the house and forced Tessa’s eyes closed in surprise. When she opened them, there was nothing but the silence and the pain that he had left her with.
******
Hours had passed since George had left the house, but Tessa still couldn’t calm herself down. The tears had started to flow soon after he left and she was still shaking with the aftershocks of sobbing so deeply and falling into such despair. Her nerves felt shattered and her heart torn into pieces, but these were the least painful of t
he injuries he had caused her. The mirror showed off the worst injury that he had left because it was imprinted on her skin in the deep shades of purple and dark blue.
Her jaw was swollen and the smallest of movement sent pain from it exploding into the rest of her body. She was unsure about whether it was broken, but she knew that it would take a while, before the swelling calmed down enough for her to check properly.
She had become lost in her thoughts as the night replayed over in her head. She was surprised by just how many of the small details her brain could pick out. It had all felt as though it had happened so quickly, but it seemed her brain had been prepared for that. The house was silent and non- disturbing of her thoughts, until a loud sequence of knocking struck against the door.
At first Tessa was unsure about whether it had been real. She had been so lost in thought that she doubted anything could have pulled her away from them, but then the knocking took over the silence once again and she stood up quickly to go and answer the door.
She walked with a quick pace, but she didn’t rush. She could feel her stomach flipping over the idea of it being George and what he might have come home to do. She tried to push back the flickers of panic that were causing her hands to go clammy as she twisted the door handle and pulled it open.
At first she felt relief as she her eyes took in the two strangers who were standing on her front porch, but when her eyes met their grave expressions the relief seemed to disappear in an instant. “Can I help you?” She asked when neither of them spoke to introduce themselves.
“Ms., we were hoping we could come in.” The tallish man said with a soft voice.
“What’s this about?” Tessa asked without moving out of the way of the door.
“It’s about your husband.” The short man said and then he took a step to walk into the house, even though Tessa still hadn’t made any motion to move.
She stepped out of his way, before he could knock into her and the taller man followed with a look of apology in his eye.
“We don’t have time to waste Ms.” The short man said and Tessa noticed under the lighting that he was well aged with deep set wrinkles and sprinkles of gray in his otherwise jet black hair.
“I’m sure you don’t.” Tessa said, although she had no true idea as to why they were there.
“We’ve come with some sad news.” The short man said, but his voice was far from comforting. “Your husband was found dead around one hour ago.” He said without any paused or warning.
Tessa blinked slowly out of shock and didn’t say anything.
“We’ve managed to procure his will from his office and we’ve come to arrange the affairs quickly, so that this needn’t be dragged out for longer than it should.” The short man continued in an official voice.
“I’m sorry.” Tessa said quietly because her jaw hurt with every word. “But how did he die?”
“He was shot in the chest after being caught with the Mayor’s wife.” The taller man said.
Tessa looked at him for a moment. He was much younger than the shorter man, but he shared the same jet black hair and deep green eyes. Tessa guessed that the taller boy was the shorter man’s son.
“Now I’m sure you are aware that your husband kept a will.” The short man said.
“I was.” Tessa said.
“Well, I don’t know if you are already aware of its contents, but you might be in for a bit of a shock.” He said and then he turned to his partner. “Go get her a chair, she needs to sit down.”
Tessa stood in silence as she waited for a chair to be brought out into the lobby for her. She could feel her eyes nervously twitching between the paper in the shorter man’s hands and his face, as she tried to read the news from it. She quickly sat down when the chair arrived and looked up at the shorter man with uneasy eyes.
“Your husband had a child to a previous affair.” The short man said, and again, he gave no warning of the news he was about to share with her.
Tessa felt the words hit her as though they were punches. It had all been true. All of the gossip that had been spread around the city had been fact. He’d had a child with another woman and from the sounds of it; he’d left his fortune to them instead of her.
“He’s left his savings and residence to that child and her mother.” The man finished and then he folded the paper back up and placed it in his pocket.
“What happens to me then?” Tessa asked as anxiety started to rush over her.
“Well, we’re not cruel. You can have tonight to gather your things and then you can leave tomorrow morning.” The short man said and then he headed to the door. “I’ll see myself out.” He said and then he pulled it open and stepped back out into the night from which he had come.
******
Tessa pushed open the old creaking door to the tavern she had once worked at. Nothing had changed since she had last been in, and for a moment, it tricked her brain into believing that no time had passed at all. The indirect glances and whispering behind her back though reminded her that times had indeed changed and would probably never fully return to the way they had once been.
She made eye contact with nobody as she walked through the tavern and over to the bar. She had once been one of the most popular barmaids in there. She had often arrived to work with cheers from the clientele who enjoyed her feisty attitude and well pulled beer. It wasn’t like that now though, and Tessa could feel a thick and heavy atmosphere surround her.
She stopped at the bar and waited for the owner to walk back behind it. The owner of the tavern was a friendly man in his late thirties. He always kept himself well dressed, although his tavern was heavily taxed and his income was low and he had always been fond of Tessa. She had started working for him at a young age by collecting the glasses and sweeping the floors at the end of busy nights and had quickly worked her way through the rankings behind the bar as she grew.
Tessa saw a flicker of his red hair appear behind the bar and she smiled softly as her old boss and friend approached her.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Tess.” He said as his eyes burned with a caring warmth.
“It has indeed.” Tessa agreed. “I need to ask you a favor.” She said quickly, because she was unsure about how much time she would have to converse with him.
“What is it my dear?” He asked with a look of concern in his eyes.
“Well, I’m sure by now you have heard the news of my husband’s passing.” Tessa said quietly.
“That I have.” He said with a small tilt of his head.
“Well, the other rumors are true too.” Tessa said, because she didn’t want to explain in great detail about the betrayal her husband had left for her beyond his grave.
“I suspected so.” The Inn keeper said with a look of pity swelling in his eyes.
“I ask not for your pity.” Tessa said firmly. “I only ask that I might have my old job back, so that I don’t end up on the streets or worse.” She looked at him with eyes that begged for a chance. She could feel her question hanging before them and she could tell from the look on his face that his answer was not to be what she had hoped.
“I’m sorry Tess.” He said and his head slowly fell between left and right. “I have to think about the people who come in here and they don’t hold you in much favor.”
“I understand.” Tessa said and then she turned to leave. She stopped when she felt his hand grip onto her shoulder and she turned back in surprise.
“You can stay here if you like though.” He said. “You can pay me room and board, when you find yourself some work and then you don’t have to go to the streets.” He added.
“It’s quite alright.” Tessa said pridefully, “I don’t expect to live for free.” She finished with her nose tilted slightly in the air and then she shook his hand off of her shoulder and made her way back to the door.
Her stomach churned with worry when she stepped out into the fading light and realized that she had nowhere else to turn. The eve
ning was dropping cold and the thick plumes of smoke coming from the boats on the Mississippi river were blocking out the little sunlight that was left. She shivered as she pulled her coat around her body and tried to think of a plan.
“Excuse me.” A woman’s voice said from behind her.
Tessa didn’t show any signs of hearing the woman. She was sure that she was only speaking to taunt her about her failed marriage and she had no interest in listening to the opinions of others.
“Excuse me.” The woman said again.
This time Tessa turned her eyes to the woman. She could hear warmth in the woman’s voice that led to Tessa’s guards dropping slightly. “What is it?” She asked sharply, but without the intention of doing so.
“I’m sorry to bother you.” The woman said after flinching slightly at Tessa’s words.
Tessa examined the woman for a moment. She was well dressed in a light green fitted dress that must have been specially made to fit her. She had dark brown hair that was pushed back with a clip into a bun on her head, but loose curls had fallen and were framing her delicate face.
“I’m sorry, please pardon my rudeness.” Tessa said when she realized that woman was no threat to her.
“It’s fine.” The woman said, shaking her head. “It’s quite understandable considering the day that you’re having.”
“I understand then that you know who I am?” Tessa asked.
“That I do.” The woman nodded.
“Then might I be able to learn who you are in return?” Tessa asked curiously because she had never seen the woman around the city before, but the woman clearly knew her.
“I’m Clara.” The woman said with a small smile that seemed to only lift up the right half of her lip. “And I have a proposition for you.”
*******
Tessa walked back onto the main road with Clara. There as promised was a carriage waiting for them and Tessa waited for Clara to climb in herself before following her. “What is your proposition?” Tessa asked when the carriage started to move down the street.