My Secret Alpha Step SEAL

by Paula Mabbel

  *******

  The Duke stayed late into the night. Jessica had been in her room when his carriage set off down the long driveway and into the open road. She had gotten up from her bed to look out of the window so that she might see him climbing into his carriage, and even from her distance she could tell that he’d had too much to drink. There was a slight stumble to his walk that gave it away as he quickly climbed into his carriage and rode away into the night.

  Jessica had wondered why her mistress had allowed him to drink so much. She had made it clear to Jessica that she had no intentions of marrying this man, so why would she allow rumors of his drunkenness to circulate through the town? It wasn’t of any consequence to Jessica, though. She knew that her mistress had given her a rare insight into her world, but that didn’t mean that Jessica had permission to start tampering with it.

  She spent the rest of the next day minding her own business and working through the list of chores that her mistress had set out for her. It wasn’t until the dusk of the evening started to stretch through the sky that Jessica even saw her mistress, and then she quickly wished that she hadn’t.

  After a brief conversation with her mistress, Jessica found herself setting off in the quickly approaching dark to the Duke’s house to deliver a letter. Jessica had suggested that perhaps it might be better to leave the delivery until the morning, but her mistress had insisted that it couldn’t wait. The day had been long and gray and the night seemed no better, although the darkness masked the miserable tone.

  There was a harsh wind that seemed relentless in its pursuit to rattle everything that came in its path. Jessica could feel its icy grasp run down her neck as it carried along and froze the water that was already much too cold to begin with. She pulled her coat around her body so that it was tight and allowed for no rogue winds to enter. She could feel her entire body shivering against the cold, but she knew that she had to go forward.

  It took her nearly two hours to get to the Duke’s house. It was one of the manor houses that sat on the outskirts of the small town and was thought to be extremely expensive to rent. She walked up the long driveway quickly as her journey started to come to an end, and then she knocked her cold, limp fist against the door until she heard footsteps approaching.

  “Who calls at such an unsociable hour?” the Duke asked with a disgruntled voice as he opened the door.

  “I’m sorry for the intrusion. My mistress wished for you to receive this before the morning,” Jessica said with an apologetic look. She reached out her hand and passed him the damp envelope. She watched as the Duke’s eyes opened in shock and his hand fell quickly away from hers.

  “You’re frozen,” he said with a worried look. “I insist you come inside and spend the night here. You may leave again in the morning, when the weather is much more agreeable to a girl of your size.”

  “Thank you for your offer, but I must insist on leaving. My mistress would never allow for me to spend the night away from her,” Jessica said with her head shaking slowly.

  “I won’t hear of it,” the Duke shook his head. “You will stay here the night and I shall explain everything to your mistress tomorrow when I make my trip over to see her. In fact, I think I’ll keep you here until my trip and then you might ride back with me rather than walk.” The Duke looked impressed with himself for thinking the plan through and then ushered Jessica inside the house.

  She stood for a moment, looking back down the long driveway that led to the darkened road, before she walked into the well-lit and warm lobby. She could feel her anxiety levels rising as she thought about what her mistress would say when the morning came, but they quickly fell as she started to feel the warmth from the house around her.

  “Can I get you a warm drink?” the Duke asked Jessica, who was still shivering.

  “I’m fine,” Jessica said quickly. She had never in her life been offered anything from someone who held as much power and sway as he did, and she wasn’t quite sure what to do with that.

  “I insist. You look frozen to death.”

  Jessica nodded because she felt that arguing would only lead to her losing. She followed the Duke into the kitchen and watched as he lifted out a kettle from the stove.

  “I was already making myself one before the knock on the door came,” he explained as he poured the hot water into two cups. “I think a cup of tea before bed really helps to wake you up in the morning.”

  “Thank you,” Jessica said with a smile as he passed her the cup. She wrapped her hands around the warming mug and let the heat seep down through her skin and into her bones. She had been so cold that everything had turned numb, but the heat from the kitchen was starting to bring her back around, and her whole body tingled with pins and needles as the feeling came rushing back.

  She drank from the cup and enjoyed the feeling of the hot cup of tea sinking down into her stomach. She could sense the Duke watching her; she kept reminding herself to keep her hands away from her stomach and the baby who had been frozen inside of her, too.

  *******

  Jessica couldn’t help but feel lulled by the gentle roll of the carriage as they headed back to her mistress’ manor. She knew that Lady Beamount would be in a foul mood when she got back, and she knew that her day would hold aggravation and nothing else, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she enjoyed what was to be probably the only carriage ride in her life.

  She looked over at the Duke, who had been looking out of the window. He turned to her and smiled as he felt her gaze, and Jessica could feel her cheeks starting to flush pink. She hadn’t been expecting him to be so kind. She had known from the moment that they had met that he’d had a good sense of humor, but she knew from the night before that his heart was kind, too.

  She sighed as she realized that her previous theory about her mistress had been wrong. Her rotten core couldn’t possibly be because of her angelic looks, because the Duke wore them too, and he was nothing, but good.

  “What’s the matter?” the Duke asked when he heard Jessica’s sigh.

  She looked over at him with surprise. She hadn’t thought her sigh had been that loud, but more so, she hadn’t thought that the Duke would care about her problems. “It’s nothing,” she insisted as she tried to smile warmly at him.

  “It didn’t sound like nothing,” the Duke said with a playful smile.

  “What does nothing sound like?” Jessica asked as she tried to divert the question.

  The Duke laughed and then looked at Jessica with an intense expression on his face. She could almost feel his eyes as they tried to peel away her layers to see what secrets were hidden underneath. She shifted under his gaze and dropped her eyes away from his.

  “You are a strange girl, Jessica,” the Duke said as he shook his head slowly. His eyes had clouded over with a thoughtful look that seemed conflicted. “There’s something about you. You’re hiding something, I can tell. I can see your secrets, but I can’t make out what they are, and it’s frustrating me.”

  “I’m sorry that you find my company frustrating,” Jessica said a little more sadly than she had intended.

  The Duke laughed again and shook his head. “That couldn’t be less true. I find your company to be fascinating.”

  The lulling roll of the carriage came to a stop and Jessica looked out of the window. They had arrived at her mistress’ manor and she could feel all her previous anxieties jump back into her body all at the same time. She reached out and pulled on the carriage door, so that she could get out, but found that the Duke had managed to make it around to her side and was helping her out, before she’d even really had the chance to move.

  “Thank you,” she said with a small nod of her head.

  They walked up to the manor doors together and Jessica waited as the Duke knocked on the door. It was opened straight away by the man who had led Jessica to her interview on her first day. He bowed to the Duke and then shot an angry look at Jessica, who stepped back from the power of his glar
e.

  “The mistress is not happy with you,” the man said crossly.

  “I’m sure everything will be fine once I’ve had a chance to explain,” the Duke said quickly, before Jessica had a chance to defend herself.

  The man looked at the Duke and then back to Jessica. He looked confused, and Jessica had to force the grin away from her lips. She walked into the lobby with the Duke following behind her, and she heard the door being closed.

  “The mistress is in here,” the man said as he gestured over to the study.

  Jessica walked over to the study and waited for the Duke to join her. She wasn’t sure whether the mistress would be willing to see them together, but she was really hoping that it might be the case. She lifted up her small fist and knocked on the door as the Duke found his place beside her and waited to be called in. The mistress called from the other side of the door and Jessica pushed it open to reveal the cozy place of learning that had become her favorite room in the entire house.

  “I think you have some explaining to do,” Lady Beamount said as she took in both the Duke and Jessica.

  “Mistress, when I arrived last night at the Duke’s, it was late and I was half frozen. He offered me a bed at his manor for the night, so that I wasn’t to catch my death,” Jessica tried to explain to her mistress, but she could tell from the burning fury in her eyes that she wasn’t listening to a word that Jessica was saying.

  “Lady Beamount, please let me explain,” the Duke said in a soothing voice. “Your maid was frozen when she arrived at my manor last night. I insisted that she wait and ride back with me today. If you are to blame anyone for being short of help, then it must be me.”

  Lady Beamount looked between them both as they stood waiting for her reaction. “Leave,” she said to Jessica as she continued to glare at the Duke.

  Jessica paused for a moment as she considered what it might mean for the Duke to be left with her mistress, but she knew she had no choice other than to obey the command. She sighed silently as she walked back through the door without turning to look back at the Duke.

  She had never had anyone defend her in the way that he had, and it had made quite an impression on Jessica’s heart. She felt her shoulders droop sadly as she realized that she was starting to become quite attached to the perfect Duke who would never be hers.

  ******

  Jessica walked into the study and waited for her mistress to speak. The Duke had left a few hours before she’d received the summons, and she’d been wondering about what had happened with every passing second. She could feel her eyes nervously jump around her mistress’ face as she tried to keep herself calm.

  “I hope all is well with you and the Duke,” Jessica said when it became clear that she would need to make the first move.

  “The Duke and I are no business of yours, but since I am inclined to share my wonderful plan with at least one person, it might as well be you. Do you remember me telling you about the man who already has a hold of my heart? We have decided that we are to marry, but his family has been through a rough patch and my money alone will not be enough to save him. It’s the reason why we have never married, but I have the solution now. I shall marry the Duke as my father wishes and then, once I have secured his fortune, I shall see to it that he will be in an accident of sorts.” Lady Beamount grinned at her plan.

  Jessica tried to hold back the burning bile that was rising up in her throat. She knew that her mistress did not have a kind heart, but it had never occurred to her that she might be evil. “Surely you are joking?” Jessica asked as she tried to help her mistress redeem herself.

  “I think you know quite well that I’m not,” her mistress said with a sneer. “He took my maid away from me without my consent. That alone is enough to warrant what I’m going to do to him.” She sniffed as though all that she was saying was fact.

  Jessica didn’t know what to say, but she didn’t have to worry about that. Her mistress dismissed her from the room without further instructions, so she took the opportunity to go to her bedroom. She could still hear the shrill words of her mistress as she climbed up the stairs and pushed open the door to her room. She could still feel the sickly feeling of panic that had started to sweep over her body as she realized that it was up to her to do something, before it was too late.

  She knew that the Duke would never want to be with her. She knew that her state of panic was due to her desperate need to be with him, but that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what fuelled her desire to save him, as long as she managed to. She paced around her room as she tried to think of a plan, but there was only one thing she could think of. She had to tell him the truth, and she had to hope that he would believe her.

  She walked out of her room without thinking about it as the plan came together in her mind. She needed to leave the house and cross through town so that she could speak to the Duke without the risk of her mistress overhearing. Leaving the house, though, meant she was running the risk of being caught sneaking out, but the punishment for that was much less severe.

  She placed her feet gently against the ground as she snuck through the house and out of the front door. The mistress had left no instructions for Jessica, which meant she had a good chance of getting back before anybody realized that she had gone. She ran down the driveway quickly, not caring about what it might look like to anybody who might be watching, and then turned up the street.

  It was as cold as the night before, but Jessica could feel her determination burning through the cold and heating her up from the inside. She walked quickly and found that she’d managed to half the time it had taken her the night before to get to the Duke’s manor. She walked up the driveway and hoped that the butterflies in her stomach would allow her to speak to him before they forced up the vomit that was lurking in the pits.

  “Jessica, what are you doing here?” the Duke asked when he answered the door.

  “I need to tell you something,” Jessica said in a rushed voice that sounded coarse from the lack of air in her lungs. She could feel her eyes as they filled with despair and pleaded with him to understand without her having to tell him the truth, but he could only see the despair, and not the dark and tangled reasons that had led her to it.

  “Jessica, you have to tell me what’s wrong. Come in out of the cold, before you catch one, and tell me what the matter is.” He stepped aside to allow her to enter.

  Jessica looked back at the long driveway behind her and then stepped through into the lobby. She could feel her heart racing as the realization of what she was about to do hit her. She was going to betray her mistress. She was risking her job and the security of her unborn child so that she could help a person who was essentially a stranger to her.

  She stood in the lobby and felt lost for a moment, even though nothing had changed since the last time she had paid a visit to the manor. It wasn’t the kind of lost that came from disorientation anyway, it was the kind of lost when you knew what was morally right, but it went against your better judgment. She was lost in herself. She was lost to herself. She blinked back the confusion that was swirling around in her brain and tried to focus on the plan she had made for herself. It was too late to go back on it now. She was already there.

  *******

  Jessica sat down at the table in the kitchen and watched as the Duke prepared them both drinks. The kettle wasn’t already perched on top of the stove this time and it occurred to her that he was making the drinks because of her and for no other reason. “I need to tell you why I came,” she began, and then paused as she tried to work out how to explain the situation. “My mistress has been talking to me about the arrangement between you both. She has brought it to my intention that she intends to marry you for your money and nothing less.”

  The Duke chuckled. “Oh, Jessica, I assumed only as much. A woman like Lady Beamount does not seek the soul that I carry.”

  “Then you must call off the wedding,” Jessica said with wide eyes. She was surprised to learn that th
e Duke already knew of the betrayal, but even more surprised to hear what he had to say next.

  “There is nothing I can do. The agreement was set up by our fathers and we must honor it.” The Duke looked sad for a moment, as though his mind was allowing him to see what could have been, if only the agreement hadn’t been set into place.

  “It isn’t as simple as that though,” Jessica said in frustration.

  The Duke paused from tending the kettle and turned his attention to Jessica. There had been desperation in her voice that he had been unable to ignore, and he searched her face for the reason behind it. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “My mistress intends to kill you for your fortune, so that she might help her true heart’s desire out of a bad financial situation.”

  “Are you sure?” the Duke asked with dubious eyes.

  “She told me herself.”

  “I don’t believe you. I can see the secrets in your eyes, I told you that before. There’s something you are holding back from me and I don’t believe your story. What do you have to gain from telling me? What makes my life your interest?” The Duke held Jessica’s eyes as he spoke, so that she couldn’t hide anything else from him.

  “My secrets are my own and they do not affect you.”

  “Well, that’s where you’re wrong,” the Duke started. “You’re expecting me to believe you about a threat on my life, yet you hold your own secrets so close to your chest? That makes them my business on principle alone. What could you be hiding that’s so bad? You tell me your secret and I will believe your word.” The Duke finished and sat down on a chair that was facing Jessica.

  She gulped as she thought about the position he was putting her in. She could feel her hands itching to reach down to the bulging stomach that was hiding behind a loosely tied apron. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to trust him with her secret, but she had kept it for so long. Simply giving it away wasn’t that easy anymore. “I want to tell you,” she said sadly, “but I know that if I do, you will not look at me with the same eyes that you do now.”