by Paula Mabbel
“Sophia sweetheart, you look lovely.” Her mother said when they met at the bottom of the stairs.
“Thank you.” Sophia said quietly.
“Go sit with your brothers in the lounge would you?” She said when a crash from the dining room, pulled her attention away from her daughter.
Sophie didn’t say anything as she turned and headed towards the lounge. She could feel an excitement in the air as she walked through the house, but it seemed to bounce off of her rather than sink into her skin as she thought about the night that lay ahead of her.
She knew that holding the first dinner for the newly arriving Dukes was a big deal, but it just wasn’t for her. She knew that her mother was going to try and push a marriage between her and one of them too, and this filled her with even more dread.
Sophie knew that she was meant to care about finding a husband. She knew that her place was meant to be at home making sure that everything was being looked after for her husband, but that just didn’t feel right to her. Sophie had her own dreams and ideas about what life should be like and they certainly didn’t fit in with the norm.
She sighed, as she realized that she might never get the choice about how her life was going to go and then she walked into the lounge and met her brothers.
*****
The guests arrived promptly and Sophia stood by her mother to meet them. She counted six dukes, as they kissed her hand softly and complimented her pretty dress. She smiled and at each and thanked them for their kind words, but it wasn’t until the seventh, walked into the room that she really started to pay attention.
She could tell from his walk that he had confidence. He walked with his head held high and his shoulders pushed back. His uniform was impeccable and Sophia worried about the reflection that his shoes might cast under her dress if he stood too close.
She smiled, as he took her hand and kissed her gently.
“You look beautiful.” He said quietly as he straightened himself. “I’ve heard those dresses hurt like a punch to the ribs, though.” He added and his eyes sparkled with humor.
Sophia smiled back at him. She could feel her cheeks blush, as her eyes met his. His eyes were brown, but they had a glow to them that reminded Sophia of honey. He held her eyes, as she held his and for a moment she was lost.
“I’ll see you in the dining room.” The duke said and his grin told Sophia that knew he’d made an impression on her.
“I expect you’ll receive great pleasure from such.” She said quickly.
The duke looked at her curiously for a moment. It was like he couldn’t decide whether she had made or joke or whether he should be taking her seriously. Sophia smiled, so that he knew that she had meant it in jest and his curiosity turned to an interest in an instant.
“I expect I shall.” He said with a grin.
Sophia watched as he walked towards the dining room. His walk was unchanged with their encounter and she wondered how many other girls who talked to with such familiarity.
“I see you’ve made yourself an acquaintance.” Sophia’s mother said.
Sophia jumped at the sound of her mother’s voice. She had been lost in thought after her meeting with the duke.
“He seemed agreeable.” Sophia nodded with agreeance.
“Quite.” Her mother said with a stiff nod.
Sophia could already hear the buzz of conversation coming from the dining room and once she was sure that all the guests had arrived she headed for the room herself.
The door had been left ajar and Sophia could see the grand table that her father had bought many years before that night. It sat in the middle of the room over a heavy wool carpet and was surrounded by expensive ornaments and family portraits.
She walked into the room quietly and scanned the table for her seat. She could see only two seats, which hadn’t been filled and realized that her mother had already foreseen her daughter’s favorite suitor. Sophia walked slowly over to the seat that was next to the duke with brown honey eyes and sat down.
“Well fancy that.” He said, turning to face her.
“It would seem as though we have the pleasure of each other’s company.” Sophia said softly.
She avoided his eyes as she spoke, but she could feel his as they burned with intensity. She could feel her cheeks blushing from the heat that his stare provoked, but she acted as though she didn’t.
“I should introduce myself properly.” The duke said. “My name is Edward Walters.”
“It’s a pleasure.” Sophia said at his introduction. “I’m Sophia, the youngest of the Roberts family.”
“You are the only daughter of the family?” Edward asked Sophia thoughtfully.
“I am.” Sophia said.
“So your mother will be looking to marry you with her full attention then?” Edward said.
Sophia could feel her cheeks burning, but it wasn’t because of embarrassment. She hated it when men assumed that she was in a hurry to marry. She hated the way they reacted whenever they found out that she was available. It was as though, they thought that the choice of marriage was purely up to them and that Sophia would, of course, say yes.
“I’m sure she is.” Sophia said finally. She tried to keep the bitterness out of her tone, but she could hear it seeping through into her words.
“But that doesn’t make you happy?” Edward said as he watched her face carefully.
“I don’t think marriage and happiness are connected.” Sophia said with caution and truth.
“So if a duke was to ask for your hand that wouldn’t make you happy?” Edward asked with a bemused look on his face.
Sophia could see the look in his eyes. He was daring her to say that it wouldn’t, but he assumed that it would be a lie. He was just like all the other men that Sophia had met. He only cared about himself and what he would look like with Sophia on his arm, there was no room for anything else.
“I can assure you that it would depend entirely on the man.” Sophia said.
“You’d marry a man without a title?” Edward said with a surprise look on his face.
“I’d marry a man in rags if I thought I loved him.” Sophia said with dignity and then she turned away from him.
Sophia had spoken to many men like Edward. They thought because they had money and fancy titles that they were better than most men. They thought that a proposal from them was something to be dreaming about. They thought that they held all the cards and that they made the choices, but they were wrong.
Sophia didn’t care about titles. She didn’t care about money or social standing. The only thing that Sophia cared about was marrying a man who respected her. She wanted to marry a man like her father who nurtured her dreams. She didn’t want to end up, as somebodies dream girl.
******
Sophia opened her eyes slowly and they shut them again quickly. The noise that had pulled her from her sleep was the maid who had decided it was time to open the curtains. She stayed still so that the maid wouldn’t know that she was awake. She didn’t want to get up yet. She didn’t want to have to leave her cozy bed and start the long, cold day that lay ahead of her.
“Miss.” The maid said softly.
Sophia ignored her.
“Miss?” The maid said again.
Sophia sighed. “What?”
“Your mother has requested that you have breakfast with her in the lounge.” The maid said.
“When does she expect me?” Sophia asked and she tried to fight her body’s reluctance to move.
“She’s already waiting miss.” The maid said.
Sophia listened to the maid’s footsteps, as they faded out of the room. She knew that her mother would be expecting her to arrive quickly, but she couldn’t find the willpower to roll out of bed. She let her eyes fall on the window and outside into the world beyond it.
Everything was white. The snow had continued to fall long after Sophia had fallen asleep and it had left the world looking peaceful and untouched. She shivered, as she p
ulled her sheets down and felt the bitter chill that the air held.
The maid had already put the fire on to burn, but it would be some time yet before the room warmed. Sophie got dressed quickly and then headed down the stairs to meet her mother in the lounge.
The house was already alive with a flurry of movement, as the maids cleaned up the dining hall and prepared breakfast for the house. Sophia watched, as maids scurried about the place as though their lives, depending on getting to their next task. She couldn’t help but wonder whether any of them were truly happy with their lots in life. She knew that she wouldn’t have been if she had to clean up after other each day.
She pushed open the door to the lounge and smiled at her mother.
“The meal went well last night. Don’t you think so?” Her mother asked as soon, as she had entered the room.
“I would say so mother.” Sophia replied.
She sat down at the small table that had been pushed up against the bay of the window. The table had already been filled with a selection of cold meats and fruit that made Sophia’s stomach growl, as she waited for her mother to take her pick first.
“You seemed to get on well with the young duke.” Her mother said with beady eyes that were looking out of infatuation.
“I think he was the same as most.” Sophia said with indifference.
“It did not seem so last night.” Her mother said with frustration in her voice.
“Perhaps you saw only what you wanted to?” Sophia countered.
“Perhaps.” Her mother said in a quiet voice that made Sophia’s strain to hear it. “But you cannot continue to be so choosy.”
“Can I not?” Sophia asked.
She looked at her mother who had started to flush with color. Sophia knew that the discussion of marriage always upset her, but she did insist on bringing it up so often.
“You are not as young as you used to be.” Her mother said with a sour look on her face.
“Then it is a good job I intend to marry a man who judges me on my mind and not my beauty.” Sophia said stubbornly.
“Should that man exists, he will still certainly care about your beauty.” Her mother said with enough force to almost make it fact.
“Then I shall never marry and I will always remain a burden to you.” Sophia said with a slight teasing tone.
“Oh, Sophia.” Her mother said loudly and dramatically. “What will become of my poor nerves if you continue like this?” She asked, but Sophia knew that she didn’t expect an answer.
“I’m sorry mother.” Sophia said gently. “I haven’t meant to upset you.”
“This isn’t about me. You silly and foolish girl.” Her mother said sternly. “One day I will be gone and your brother’s married and you will have no one. You will end up on the streets or working as a maid just so that you might be able to get bread!” She said with her voice steadily rising.
“Mother you’re being overly dramatic.” Sophia said in an attempt to calm her down.
“No Sophia. This stops now. You will meet with that duke again.” Her mother said and then she stood up.
“Mother, you can’t be serious?” Sophia said with a worried frown on her forehead.
“I’ve never been more serious. This has to stop Sophia. I cannot and will not spend the rest of my life worrying about you. What would your father say?” Her mother said and then she walked out of the room.
Sophia sat silently and ate the rest of her breakfast. She could feel an odd contrast between the stillness that surrounded her and the turmoil that was raging a storm in her stomach. Her mother had threatened to force marriage upon her before, but she had never gone through with it. There had been something in her mother’s tone, though. There had been something in her eyes that had set panic alight in Sophia’s stomach.
She stood up once she had finished her breakfast and headed to the library. She could still hear her mother’s voice in her head as she pushed open the door and slunk into the barely used room. It had been her father’s favorite room of the house. He had spent his life collecting books to add to his collection, which one day he had intended to read. Sophia had taken it upon herself to finish his quest when he passed away.
“What would your father say?” She heard her mother say again.
What would he say Sophia wondered to herself, as she sat down by the fire and opened up the book that had been left on the table from the last time she had been in there?
******
A few weeks had passed since the dukes had arrived in the town and Sophia hadn’t seen Edward since the night that she had hosted the dinner. She told herself that she wasn’t bothered. She told herself that she didn’t care if she never saw him again, but there was an itch at the back of her mind, which made her doubt whether or not what she was telling herself was true.
She looked at herself in the mirror after the maid had finished fastening her dress. Her mother had picked it out for her. It was a pale pink shimmering piece that flared out the hip with lace and netting. She couldn’t deny that she looked beautiful. The dress made her look as though she was a princess in waiting.
She left her hair down and it flowed down her back in soft curls. She slid a butterfly hair clip into her hair at the side so that it wouldn’t fall onto her face during the night and then she headed downstairs to meet her mother who was waiting to leave.
“You look lovely.” Her mother said.
“Thank you, mother.” Sophia said and then they walked out of the house and into the back of a horse ridden carriage.
Sophia’s mother had chosen their best-looking horse to pull them to the ball. It stood tall and handsome against the night sky with its jet black hair and ashen mane. Sophia watched it gallop from the small window that let them see out front, as they made their way to the town dance hall.
The journey was short, but it had taken enough time to allow the cold to sink into Sophia’s bones. She shivered as she stepped out of the carriage and onto the street. The snow had started to fall lazily from the sky and small flakes were landing on her arms, as she obstructed their way to the floor beneath her.
Sophia could hear the delicate melody of stringed instruments being played from the dance hall. It flowed out into the street as though its beauty was not bound by the walls it had been surrounded by. Sophia walked into the brightly lit room and took in the thousands of candles that flickered and danced with the movement of the air around them.
The room was much warmer than it had been outside. A large fireplace crackled against the center of the back wall and with the help of the candles it had heated the whole room up to a very agreeable temperature.
There were already couples dancing to the music that was being played by a band who were sat in the corner of the room. Sophia watched a couple as they glided across the dance floor. They looked like they had been born from the music. They looked like they had always been meant to dance that dance.
Sophia could feel a gentle smile playing across her lips as she watched them. They looked happy together and she was sharing in that.
“I thought I might never see you again.” Edward’s voice said playfully.
Sophia found her attention being pulled away by her voice and she turned to face him.
“I had hoped the same.” She said matching his playful voice.
It was like she couldn’t help herself. She knew that he was like all the rest, but he was so playful and most importantly he let her play back.
“Now I never said I’d hoped.” He said with a forlorn face.
“No, but I did.” Sophia said with a smile.
“Do you think perhaps you could stand my company for one dance?” Edward said with a glance to the dance floor.
Sophia could feel herself being torn over how to answer. His beautiful brown eyes were luring her in and making her want to say yes, but her stubborn spirit knew no good could come from it.
“I should think that I don’t really have an option.” Sophia said finally.
“Would you now?” Sophia asked Edward.
She watched his face carefully to see whether he was making fun of her.
“I certainly would.” He said.
He wasn’t lying. Sophia was pretty sure that she could tell that he was telling the truth.
“And why is that then?” She challenged him.
He smiled at her and her eyes got drawn to his lips. She wondered what they might taste like on her tongue. She wondered whether he would kiss her softly or whether he would pull her in and kiss her deeply. Her eyes continued to hover on his lips until he finally replied.
“You know your own mind.” He said simply.
“Don’t most girls?” Sophia asked because it didn’t seem like, a trait that could be considered rare.
“Well, if they do, they certainly don’t speak of it.” He said with a slight frown.
Sophia didn’t say anything.
“So would you like to dance?” Edward asked again because he felt as though the question had been lost in the conversation.
“Yes.” Sophia said finally and she noticed a small glimmer that danced across his eyes when she did.
They walked out onto the dance floor and then Edward took Sophia’s hand in his. She could feel a spark of electricity run up her spine, as the heat from his hand warmed her own. She stepped out into the dance and they moved around the dance floor with only each other as company.
“You really do look stunning in that dress.” Edward whispered softly as he pulled her in closer to his body.
“Thank you.” Sophia said.
She could feel her cheeks matching the pink tone of her dress, but she ignored the sensation.
“You could be the most fascinating girl that I’ve ever met.” Edward said as the music slowed and they pulled away from each other.
“Then you can’t have met many girls.” Sophia said with a slight shrug.