by Paula Mabbel
Edward laughed loudly, as though she had just made a great joke and then he shook his head with a look of wonderment on his face.
******
Sophia could feel her body overheating from her encounter with Edward and she sat down at a table that had been left empty. Everybody from the town had turned up for the ball and the room was full with people who were all enjoying their nights.
Sophia turned her head to the next table where some local girls were gossiping with one another.
“Have you heard about him?” One of the blonde girls said as she pointed at Edward.
“What about him?” A red head asked her with eyes that were alive with curiosity.
“Well, my brother told me that he’s slept with more than three girls.” She said with a look of disgust on her face.
“How does your brother know?” One of the brown haired girls pointed out quickly.
“He travels with him.” The blonde haired girl shrugged. “Apparently he’s got quite a temper on him too if he’s had one too many to drink.” The girl said matter-of-factly.
“I saw him dancing earlier with that Sophia girl.” The redhead said with excitement over being able to add to the conversation.
“That doesn’t surprise me.” The brunette said with almost a bored tone to her voice. “That Sophia thinks she’s too good for everybody in this town.”
“Well then more fool her.” The redhead said. “There are plenty of good guys in this town.”
“More fool her indeed.” The blonde haired girl said. “My mother reckons she’ll end up an old maid.” She added and then the whole table laughed.
Sophia felt like going over to them and giving them a good slap, but she knew that she couldn’t. She turned her head away from the table so that their voices got lost in the buzz of conversation whilst she thought about what they had said.
She wondered whether any of it was true. She wondered whether Edward had really slept with so many girls and whether he planned on doing the same with her. She laughed to herself as she realized that everything he had said was with that intention in mind.
She had been stupid she told herself. She had let herself believe that Edward might be different, but she hadn’t meant it like this. She hadn’t meant that she wanted someone who would take away a girl’s dignity and give them nothing in return.
She found herself standing up before she realized that she wanted to leave. She headed for the door at the front of the building, but her mother caught up with her before she had a chance to pull on the handle.
“Where are you going?” She asked with an annoyed look on her face.
“I’m going home, mother.” Sophia said.
“You are doing no such thing.” Her mother said with an angry tone. “I’ve had enough of this from you. You will go out there and socialize with these people.” She added.
Sophia looked into her mother’s eyes and sighed when she realized that she really didn’t have a choice.
“Fine.” She said as she walked back into the room.
She looked around at all of the happy faces and felt a twang of annoyance at her mother for making her stay. She didn’t want to be around these people. She had heard what these people thought of her and she had no interest in playing nicely with any of them.
She walked back over to her lonely table and sat down. She was thankful at least that the table’s candle had long since burnt out and it left her in a small patch of shadow and away from the straying eyes of people.
“Are you hiding from me?” Edward asked as he stepped into the shadows.
“I’m hiding from everyone.” Sophia said.
“Do you mind if I take a seat?” He asked.
“You can do as you please.” Sophia said with a slight shrug.
Edward shivered dramatically. “Does it feel cold in here to you?” He asked.
“No.” Sophia said bluntly.
“It must just be this conversation then.” Edward said with a small smile.
Sophia shook her head at his joke.
“Can I ask you something?” She said as she kept her eyes looking out into the room and not on Edward himself.
“Anything.” He replied in a smoldering voice that made Sophia’s eyes beg to turn and face him.
“Is it true that you’ve slept with other women before?” She asked him directly.
“Yes.” He replied instantly.
“Was that your intention with me?” She asked him.
“At first it was.” He nodded his head.
Sophia could feel herself wince as he admitted the truth to her.
“But it isn’t now?” She asked him as she tried to ignore the raging feelings that were manifesting inside of her body.
“No.” He said.
Sophia could feel the honesty burning in his words as he spoke, but she wasn’t sure whether it was enough to believe him.
“Then what do you want from me?” She asked him.
He didn’t say anything. Sophia let herself glance at his face and he looked deep in thought. She waited for him to answer.
“You.” He said finally.
“What do you mean me?” She asked.
“I don’t want anything from you, but you.” He said as he reached over the table and rested his hand over hers. “I don’t want sex or money. I don’t want your love or your worship. I just want to keep you in my life. If anything else comes from that then great, but if it doesn’t, then simply knowing you would be enough.” He said with the same burning honesty.
“Do you feel bad about the other girls?” She inquired curiously.
“No.” He said. “In each of those moments I felt what it meant to truly be alive. If I’d have waited, if I’d of said no to those opportunities than I would have been saying no to life.”
Sophia didn’t want to, but she understood. She understood his drive to live life to its fullest. She understood his need to embrace the beauty in moments that can’t be turned away from and she envied his freedom that enabled him to do it.
*****
It was the night before the dukes were due to leave town and Sophia’s mother had invited them to dine at their house once more. Sophia had made sure that she was ready with plenty of time to spare so that she could be sure that she would meet Edward at the door.
She headed downstairs and surprised her mother with her early readiness.
“You are an eager one tonight.” Her mother said with a smile.
“I suppose you’re right.” Sophia said with a smile of her own.
“You know.” Her mother said with a half distant tone that meant she was about to ramble. “I was talking to some of the wives in town last night and they were telling me some awful things about one of the dukes.”
Sophia could feel her heart starting to race as she realized who her mother meant. She meant Edward. She had heard the rumors about him sleeping with the other girls too.
“I’m sure that they were just rumors.” Sophia said casually.
“Well, maybe.” Her mother said with a voice that said she didn’t agree with her daughter. “I’m not so sure, though.”
“You know what a load of gossips live in town mother.” Sophia reminded her mother.
“I know, I know.” Her mother replied. “But still I’ve made sure that you’re sitting nowhere near him tonight. We wouldn’t want anybody talking about us.” She said with a faint smile.
“Might I ask who it was?” Sophia asked, but she didn’t really need to.
“Why it’s that Edward Walters of all people.” Her mother said as though she was shocked all over again. “And to think I was so happy to see you both dancing last night.” She shook her head.
“He seemed perfectly agreeable to me.” Sophia said.
“I’m sure he did. They always do.” Her mother said.
Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. The guests had started to arrive and Sophia and her mother took their places by the door. Sophia watched as the m
aid opened the door and allowed the first of the dukes to enter.
Edward was the last to arrive and Sophia could feel a smile climbing over her lips, as he walked over to her.
“You look stunning as always.” He said as he took her hand and kissed it gently.
The feeling of his lips on her skin sent Sophia almost wild with desire. Her cheeks flushed a vibrant shade of red as he straightened himself back up.
“You look very agreeable yourself.” She said and then she noticed her mother staring at them both.
Sophia looked to the ground and waited for Edward to move past her. She listened as his footsteps stopped at her mother and they exchanged and somewhat icy greeting. Sophia could feel her heart beating against her ribcage as she waited for a chance to see Edward again and found her stomach dropping when she realized that she was at the furthest point to him at the table.
She sat herself down next to a middle-aged man who had introduced himself as Michael. He had jet black hair that seemed to hold no real life and small eyes that were too close together.
“Sophia it’s a pleasure to have you sitting next to me.” He said with a warm smile when Sophia took her seat beside him.
“The pleasure is all mine, I’m sure.” Sophia said politely.
“Your brother told me that you are yet to be married.” He said with a keen interest in his eyes.
“My brother doesn’t lie.” Sophia said as she nodded slightly.
“I was sure that he must have been jesting with me because you are far too beautiful to be unmarried.” Michael said in an attempt to flatter her.
“Then perhaps you should assume that says something about my personality.” Sophia said with a little more sarcasm than she had intended.
“Perhaps.” Michael said with a look of outrage on his face.
Sophia couldn’t help but smirk at his reaction. He had clearly never spoken to a girl who knew her own mind before and the look on his face was hysterical. It was a mixture of shock and horror over a girl addressing him in such a way.
Sophia said nothing else to him during the meal and she noticed that he took the first opportunity he could to leave his place once the meal was over. Sophia didn’t care though. She was too busy trying to catch glances of Edward from across the table.
During the meal she had felt his eyes on her, but she had refused to meet them. She was unsure about what could happen now that her mother had such a disliking towards him and that made meeting his eyes difficult.
Sophia smiled slightly as Edward rolled his eyes at the person he was talking to. He sent a sly grin over to her, as he continued his conversation and Sophia let her mind wander into thoughts of what being Edward might be like.
She couldn’t help but feel excited every time the idea crossed her mind. Edward was the most exciting thing to ever happen to her and she knew that a life with him would be a life well lived. She thought about the girls he had slept with before he had met her and how it really didn’t matter when you considered his reasoning behind his actions.
Sophia felt a rush of emotions inside of her, as she realized that not only did she love him, but she had done from the moment he had said hello.
******
Sophia stepped outside of the house and listened to the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. The house was so crowded with guests that she’d barely been able to hear her own thoughts, but it was so still outside and quiet.
She ignored the icy nip of the wind, as it pinched her skin and thought about the situation she had found herself in. She was in love. She had no doubt at all that it was love. She could feel it seeping into her veins and beating through her heart. She could feel her need for Edward growing, as though he’d somehow become a part of her DNA and she could no longer be separated from him.
She had never felt like this before. She had never felt so alive and that was because of Edward. She tried to think of what tomorrow would bring her. She tried to prepare himself for the thought of him not being close, but her brain wouldn’t let her. It was having too good a time thinking about their lives together to even consider what reality might be like when the sun rose over the horizon.
The door being opened disturbed her thoughts and she turned to see who had joined her in the snow.
“You shouldn’t be out here.” She said when her eyes met Edward’s.
“Neither should you. It’s cold.” He said with a concerned look.
Sophia watched as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.
“You’ll freeze.” She protested.
“Much slower than you will.” He said with a smile. “So why are you hiding out here in the snow?” He asked with a curious look in his eyes.
“I’m not hiding.” Sophia said a little too defensively. “I’m just collecting my thoughts.”
“You must have a lot of thoughts if you need to be outside to collect them.” Edward said.
“I guess.” Sophia said with a soft smile.
“So what are you thinking about right now?” Edward asked and Sophia blushed.
“I don’t think it matters what I’m thinking.” She said as she avoided his eyes.
“I think that it matters now more than ever.” Edward said with a serious face.
“Any why is that?” Sophia asked.
“Because when I asked your cheeks blushed and that makes me think it must have been something good.” He teased.
“I think you tease me too much.” Sophia said with a small pout that made Edward smile even harder.
“I think you shouldn’t be so much fun to tease if you don’t like it.” He said with a chuckle behind his tone. “So tell me.” He added. “What were you thinking?”
“I can’t remember.” Sophia lied.
“You shouldn’t lie you know.” Edward said while making a tutting noise.
“It wasn’t a lie.” Sophia said as she held her head up high with indifference to the accusation.
“If it wasn’t a lie, then why are you blushing again?” Edward asked.
“You are infuriating. Do you know that?” Sophia said sharply.
“I’ve been told on occasion.” Edward said with a look of pride.
“That doesn’t surprise me.” Sophia said, but she had already lost the annoyance she had held for him, not a moment before.
“So are you going to tell me?” Edward asked as he turned the conversation back to its starting point.
“No.” Sophia said after a moment of hesitation.
“Then it must have been something really, really good.” Edward said as his eyebrows rose.
“What are you doing?” Sophia asked him as she watched him face curiously.
“Well, I’m just thinking of all the things you could have been thinking.” He said with a shocked look and then he shook his head, as though he was disagreeing with something. “To be honest Sophia, I am shocked by some of the thoughts you have.” He said with a grin.
“Stop it.” Sophia said with a smile on her face.
“Then tell me what you were thinking.” Edward said quickly.
“Fine.” Sophia said with a sigh. She could feel her cheeks starting to blush prematurely as she thought ahead of the words she was about to say.
“I was thinking about you.” She said.
“What about me?” Edward pressed with a curious but satisfied look on his face.
“I was thinking about how you make me feel alive.” Sophia said in a defeated tone.
She waited for Edward to tease her, but he didn’t. She waited for him to tell her that she was crazy, but he didn’t. The moment dragged on as her words hung in the air between them. She avoided his eyes, but she could feel his, as they tried to make contact.
“Sophia.” Edward said and his voice had become gentle. “Look at me.”
Sophia lifted her eyes to his and then the moment melted away into a feeling, as his lips brushed up against hers. She could feel her breath on her cheek. It was hot against the cold backdrop o
f the outdoors and it filled her with a warmth that she desperately needed.
His lips moved slowly on hers. She could feel the gentleness behind his touch as his tongue slid out and grazed her lower lip. She could feel his hands as they pulled her in by the waist. Their bodies were touching as she pushed at his kisses forcing him to kiss her deeply.
The world around them had melted away. She couldn’t think of anyone or anything else. She could feel life pumping through her veins as she finally took freedom with both hands. He pulled away from the kiss and for a moment all Sophia could feel was cold.
She looked at him and found his eyes, waiting for hers.
The distance between them was short, but it was too much for her. She stepped forward and placed her lips back in their rightful place. The taste of cigars and whiskey filled her senses, as she slid her tongue into his mouth. She could feel his breathing getting heavier, as she kissed him deeper.
He put his hands back on her waist and pulled her into his body. He could feel her heart beating wildly against her chest, as he slowly moved his hand down and rested it on her bum. He pulled away from their kiss briefly and saw a cluster of trees close by.
They kissed and they walked. Their hands became intertwined as Edward pushed Sophia’s body against the trunk of a tree gently. She could feel the hard bark rubbing against her skin, but she didn’t care as Edward took his lips from hers and started to kiss down the side of her neck.
She could feel tingles running up and down her spine as his lips moved further down her body. She started to feel dizzy as the anticipation built up inside of her. She could feel the danger with every second that passed. The danger of being caught and the danger of doing something that she could never come back from.
“Tell me you want me.” Edward said as his eyes met Sophia’s.
“I want you.” Sophia said and she could hear the brutal honesty in her words.
Edward’s hands sank below her dress and traced a line up her leg. She could feel him gently pushing them apart as he stroked further and further up. Sophia closed her eyes as his fingers traced over the line of her peach. She could feel her body willing his fingers to dip in further and her mind yelling at her to stop him at once.