by JL Madore
“No,” I shake that off. “When you and Hawk were in Vancouver, we knew you were going at it but we didn’t get any indication of where you were. There was nothing like that coming through the bond.”
“Then how do we find them?” Kotah asks.
“We don’t,” Jaxx says, frowning. “There’s not a damned thing we can do until Hawk or Calli can contact us. No matter how much it sucks. Our hands are tied.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Hawk
I drop the sticks and dried brush I’ve collected onto the pile and swoop back around to descend to the cliff ledge. Transforming to man, I land on my feet and check on Calli lying too still against the rockface. “Well, we are officially in the middle of nowhere, my love. If there is any life around here it’s too far and I’d be away from you too long.”
Gathering the dried wood and detritus, I settle in to make a fire. Hopefully, if I can raise her body temperature, I can ignite a flame in her and maybe call her phoenix.
Setting the little pile of sticks into a tent, I place the bits of dried scrub beneath and grab the two sticks I chose to rub together to start the flame.
“Here’s hoping I still remember how to do this. It’s been quite a few years since I found myself needing to warm myself alone in the wilderness. Too bad we can’t order a fire by take-out. That could be a new business venture—we could call it Uber Heats.”
I chuckle at my joke and grimace at the chatter of her teeth. It’s not that cold out. She used up all her heat to defeat my father’s men and bring me here. My fucking father. He’s taken so much from me, he can’t take anything more.
I won’t let him.
“I should’ve raced off and gotten you food first thing. I didn’t realize it costs you so much to hold your phoenix form. I’m sorry.”
Knowing I failed her, cleaves my heart in two.
When she needed sustenance, I brought her a flannel shirt. A lot of good that did.
“I flew all around this wooded section of nowherelandia and didn’t see any sign of a way to get you off this ledge. If you could just open your eyes and fly down with me, I can take it from there.”
I work on the fire for what feels like an eternity, but it’s likely no more than an hour. My arms ache and my palms are blistered and still, not so much as a smolder. As desperate as I am to warm her, leaving her exposed on the stone while I fail at this is costing her heat.
I’m sweating like a roasted turkey in the oven, but she’s still freezing. Dropping onto the rough stone beside her, I gather Calli into my arms. She makes no indication that she’s aware I’ve moved her… or that I’m there at all.
“It’s ironic, don’t you think? I can’t even make a spark when you’re sitting right here and can breathe flames when you’re awake.”
During the time waisted on not starting a fire, the sun has gone down and the night’s chill creeps over my skin now that I’m still. If Calli was cold before, the drop in temperature won’t help.
“Come on, Calli,” I say with more heat than I feel. Open your eyes and help me here. You put us up on this ledge, help me get you down. Some help with the fire would be nice. Transforming would be even better. Hell, I’d take you opening your eyes and at least looking at me.”
Nothing. No matter what I say, Calli isn’t hearing me. Or maybe she’s hearing me and being sucked deeper into whatever abyss she’s stuck in.
“Don’t you give up, Calli. I’ll figure this out. I’ll get you warm and hydrated and I’ll fill your belly to bursting. If you want a bacon double cheeseburger, I’ll buy you a fucking diner. We’ll sit and make food and eat for the next two days.”
I brush her hair back from her face and feel the shards of my heart splintering in my chest. Wildlings who suffer from things like this slip into comas and die.
It’s uncommon but it happens.
The thought of that happening to her clogs my throat. I tip my head back and scream into the night to release the pressure building in my chest. My voice echoes off the stone and treed parklands below, my vocal cords straining.
Nothing eases the pain.
“Don’t you dare die on me, Spitfire,” I shout, giving her a shake. “You made me buy into this whole mating thing. You convinced me that my life could be more than it was. You can’t take that away from me now. Where’s the fight? Where’s the female who dressed me down and met me with fire and fury every time I fucked up?”
I give her another shake but it’s no use. She’s a ragdoll in my arms. She brought me up here to give me a safe place to heal, so I could live. It’s killing me that with everything I am and accomplished in life… I can’t return the favor.
Tears sting my eyes and I bend my head over her. “Maybe if I cry for you for once, eh? Maybe that will help. I’m not much for waterworks, baby, but at this point, I haven’t got anything else to offer you but a broken heart.”
My fear of losing her is real and it takes root inside me. What will we do without our phoenix? The four of us will be lost. The realms will be stuck. Will the universe choose another female to take her place? The idea is repugnant.
No one could take her place. Calli is a true original.
My tears drip off my cheeks and dampen her hair. I feel the life draining out of her as her body gives in to the finality of our situation. The loss vibrates along our mating bond and then everything goes dark inside me.
How can this be possible? How can I lose her?
I gasp as my sobbing brings me to rasping breaths. “Fuck, Calli. Fight. Don’t go. I’ve done everything you asked. I opened my mind to the possibility. I opened my heart. Now you do what I ask—wake the fuck up.”
I pinch the wedding band on her finger and clasp it to the agony ripping apart my chest. “I love you, Calliope Tannis. I love your insouciance and your loyalty and your annoying, incessant quirks. We all do. Jaxx will be destroyed if you don’t hang on. He’d never say so, but I know how much he wants our children. And Kotah… he’ll never survive that fucking palace without you. You’re his rock when life threatens to take his soul. And Brant… that oaf of a bear loves you so hard I don’t think he’ll ever crack wise again. You’re his joy, Calli. You’re all of our joy. Stay with us. Fight to find your fire.”
Jaxx
I’m racing through the trees on all fours with Kotah’s wolf when something shifts inside me. My skin tingles ultra-sensitive and my blood pulses fast. My cat snarls in recognition. Yeah, we’ve experienced this before. All the fear and anger that’s been crushing me for hours lifts. This is it. If I’m right, we now have our way of finding them.
Kotah’s gait is off, his wolf unsure about the strange sensation. Right, neither he nor Brant felt this before. It was only Hawk and me. I don’t have time to explain now.
I bump his shoulder with mine and turn back to the field where Lukas and Brant are waiting at the helicopter.
Brant is pacing when we get back, a puzzled scowl etched on his face. He rubs his chest center mass and growls. “What’s happening? What is this?”
“You feel it too?” asks Kotah, changing on the fly and jogging to a stop in front of him.
He dips his chin. “Where’s it coming from?”
“Where’s what coming from,” Lukas asks.
I point to the helicopter and Brant and Kotah hop in. “It’s a distant warnin’ bell goin’ off in the back of our minds. It happened once before when we were in North Dakota. Hawk and I sensed a change in our bond and tracked Kotah and Calli to the grotto.”
“Hawk’s soul shard,” Kotah says.
My chest warms, and my mating crystal starts to glow through the fabric of my shirt. The three of us fish out our leather-wrapped crystal shards and hold them up for all to see. “The fourth crystal is activatin’. We need to get in the air.”
Lukas nods. “Buckle up.”
Hawk
My tears dry up and I’m still at a loss. Calli’s breathing is slow and shallow. With my hand pressed on her chest, I measure the
movement, wondering if it’s slowing towards a stop or if that’s my worst fear playing tricks on me.
“I love you, Calli.” My words haven’t completely left my lips when a flicker of light brings my gaze up to the sky. The purple velvet of night shifts and swirls in front of me, bursting into gold, green, pink, and blue.
“A little too far south for Aurora Borealis, isn’t it?”
My hawk ascends as the shimmering colors drop directly in front of the ledge and advance toward us. Even with the building movement of light, the world around is swallowed up by the void of night.
As the swirling light grows closer, my mage side triggers, and I sense the fae magic. Despite my desire to hold and protect Calli, I lay her down and rise to my feet.
“I think I know what this is about,” I say, hurt and annoyed that the universe waited until now to award me what’s mine. “Not that my mating crystal does us much good now. It’s supposed to unite the power of the quint for our phoenix, but look at her… does she look like she’s in any shape to take on the Portal Gate? She gave her life for me and now I’m engaged enough to get my soul shard? Fuck you.”
A small flash of light breaks free from the swirling color. It’s brilliant and bright and I shield my eyes with my hand as it drifts closer. And, yep, hovering within the light, there it is—
My mating crystal.
I open my palm and reach over the edge of the ledge. The magical gemstone settles into my hand and my body glows with the same golden aura the others did when they first held theirs.
Golden rays radiate from me like a shockwave of pulsing energy. They extend from me and shoot across the night sky, into the darkness beyond.
If it’s the same as when this happened with Kotah, those pulsing rays of energy will seek the others to complete the connection. When I close my hand around the shard, my bond with the quint locks tighter into place.
My eyes glass up again and I blink against the sting of tears. I finally, whole-heartedly belong somewhere and it’s too late. I look through the moisture clouding my eyes and stare at the stone nestled in my hand.
It doesn’t have the feel of swirling water like Jaxx’s, like the essence of spirit, like Kotah’s, or earth, like Brant’s. The interior of my shard glows and swirls with the essence of air.
I take it back to where I left Calli lying against the seam of the rockface and the ledge and pull her back into my lap. Wrapping my arms around her, I pray some of the magical glow I’m rocking will warm her up.
“See, Spitfire, I told you I was all-in.”
Calli
Beep… beep… beep… I fight against the drugging effect holding my eyelids shut. What happened? Where am I? Beep… beep… beep… And what’s that incessant beeping?
“You guys, she’s coming back to us.” The dulcet tones of my sweet prince relax me a little. He squeezes my hand and pulls my knuckles up to his lips. “Chigua, open your eyes so my wolf can finally rest. We need to see you are well.”
I swallow and my head lolls to the side. When did my noggin start weighing a thousand pounds? Likely the same time my eyelids morphed into being made of lead.
“Come on, Spitfire,” Hawk says. “I’ve got your take-out order here. Enough bacon cheeseburgers to fill your belly to the point of exploding.”
Yum. I want to respond, I do. And yeah, they smell good.
“You scared us, kitten,” Jaxx whispers beside my ear. He presses a kiss to my temple and runs his lips up the side of my cheek. As he breathes in my scent, his jaguar lets off a long, content purr. “We almost lost you. Our animal sides are wild and a little dangerous right now. We need you to wake up.”
I draw a deep, steadying breath and force my eyes open. My mates are here. Kotah and Jaxx at my bedsides and Hawk at the foot of my bed, standing behind a dozen, paper takeout bags. Where is Brant—there—
My bear is sitting in the corner looking haunted. He’s bent over with his brawny arms propped on his knees and his eyes are as gold as I’ve ever seen them in his human form.
“Come here, Bear. You look like you need a hug.”
His huge frame pushes into motion and he crawls onto the bed. The others scramble. Kotah barely gets out of the way fast enough. Hawk grabs the bags full of cheeseburgers and curses Brant’s stupid size sixteen feet, and Jaxx grabs the plastic tube attached to my wrist and moves it out of the way as quickly as his cat reflexes can react.
The chaos settles quickly though.
Once Brant snuggles in and pulls me against his chest, the growling stops and they all seem to relax—even me.
I breathe in the worry and fear radiating off my guys and my phoenix takes offense. These men are warriors and my weakness is making them shaky.
I give Brant a bone-crushing hug—which he likely barely feels—and ease back. “Okay, I’m awake. Bring on the cheeseburgers and tell me what I missed while we fill our bellies.”
Brant eases back and studies me. “Are you sure you’re up for that?”
“Hells yeah, those burgers smell soooo good and it looks like Hawk bought enough for all of our bellies to fill to exploding. Thank you, hotness.”
I take a page from Jaxx’s book and borrow the endearment. Hawk seems too impersonal all the time, surly seems inaccurate now that we’ve broken into his gooey filling, and Barron doesn’t suit the man he’s becoming.
I still want to know about Jaxx calling him Bastian. Obvi that’s a takeoff from his real given name, but I’m sure there’s a personal story behind calling him that.
The next half an hour is spent with the five of us filling our faces and them updating me on what I missed.
“So, when Hawk’s soul crystal triggered, we finally had a direction,” Jaxx says, snatching the last onion ring from the cardboard container. “Lukas had the pilot hover over the ledge and he dropped a harness down. Once Hawk got you tethered, we pulled you up and into the helicopter.”
“Man, are you kidding me? I’ve been trying to get you to tie me up all along and you choose the moment when I’m unconscious?”
Hawk rolls his eyes and his head drops forward.
“Too soon?”
“Yeah,” he whispers. “Too soon.”
Okay, so Hawk is still feeling the aftershocks of the ordeal. I’ll have to address that privately in a bit. “And where are we now?”
“Don’t you recognize this room?” Kotah raises his hand and I give our surroundings my full attention The moment I clue in, I’m filled with a flood of warm and fuzzy. “The Bronco Room. We’re in our suite.”
Hawk snorts. “Adjoining rooms you can rent by the hour with a shared bathroom is hardly a suite. I wanted to take you somewhere appropriate, but was outvoted.”
I smile. “I’m with them on this one, sorry. Did we get the Stud Room too?”
“You better believe it, beautiful.” Brant sits on the end of the bed and reaches for an abandoned bag of burgers. “Was there any doubt? It’s like this place was made for us.”
Hawk rolls his eyes. “In what realm does this place speak to who we are?”
I giggle at his frustration. “When we were here the first time, you ran away and hid instead of having fun with us. This is your chance for a mulligan. Let us show you the charm of The Rusty Spur.”
“I don’t need a mulligan. We’re here because this place was close, Lukas already knew the security, and I thought it would boost morale to regroup in a place you enjoyed.”
“And it’s close to the palace and the Portal Gate,” I add. “So that’s handy. Is that where you think my phoenix was heading when she flew off on her own?”
Hawk grabs up the discarded wrappers of almost twenty eaten burgers. “Yeah. I think it’s your phoenix’s instinct to go to the Portal Gate now that our mating bond is complete and all four pieces of your pendant have been retrieved.”
“How do we make them into my pendant?”
They all shrug, looking blank.
Hawk tosses the garbage into the bin at the door and boo
merangs back. “I’m sure the universe magic will take care of that when the time comes.”
“That’s how things have been workin’ so far,” Jaxx says.
“Now that we’re officially ready to kick ass,” Brant says. “We can get this party rocking.”
“We’re not totally ready,” I say, holding up my finger. “If you remember, I still fall on my face when I land.”
Hawk shakes his head. “The last few times you’ve landed, you’ve been fine. I think your wildling side knows exactly what she needs to do. Your human side just needs to give her the reins to do it.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” I flop back onto the pillows. “Jaxx, will you take this poker out of my arm, please? I need to pee. And now that I’m awake, eating, and drinking, I should be good to go, right?”
I extend my wrist toward Jaxx and wince as he eases the intervenous line out of my vein.
Instead of a bandage to cover the puncture hole, Jaxx brings my wrist to my mouth. “Lick it.”
“Annnd that’s the title of your sex tape,” Brant says.
Jaxx laughs. “Yes it is, but also, I want to see if her saliva will seal the wound.”
I do as he suggests and swipe my tongue over the needle hole, then swing my feet out from the covers. “And, do I by chance have clothes to wear?”
Hawk picks up my duffle from the floor and sets it on the end of the bed. “We’ll give you a moment to freshen up and can meet you downstairs.”
Brant chuffs. “Speak for yourself, Hawk. What if our wildling sides don’t want to be dismissed? I, for one, need to take a minute with my mate. If she’s well and willing, there are matters which need to be addressed before we consider her getting dressed.”
Hawk pegs him with a droll stare and frowns. “We’re all feeling the pull of needing to claim our mate, Bear. But we are as much men as we are animals. The five of us going at it when the world’s closing in is not wise.”
The growl of Brant’s bear holds all the challenge and frustration my poor bear can muster against an alpha. “Sending my bear out into the world when I can barely contain the rage of nearly losing her is not wise. I’m warning you, Hawk, blood will be shed.”