by JL Madore
I raise my hands. “It’s okay, guys. We’ll make time for reassuring your wild sides and then get straight back to it. We’ll save the all-night marathon for later, but surely we can take the edge off. Let me pee. Brant, sweetie, I’m well and willing, don’t you worry.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Hawk
I follow Calli down the little hallway that connects the two rooms I rented and when she turns right and closes herself into the bathroom, I continue straight ahead into the Stud room. With all the control I have left, I ease the door shut with a soft click and shake out my trembling hands. It kills me that we honestly didn’t know if she would come back to us.
I barely make it to the bed before my legs give out and I’m ass-planting on the mattress. Bending forward, I drop my head into my hands and try to get control of my shakes.
It doesn’t do any of them any good to see me losing my shit, but yeah… consider it lost.
“Hey, hotness.” Jaxx closes himself in with me during my moment of pansy-assed-pussy-whipped meltdown. “Any chance you need one of my famous Stanton hugs? Bound to cure whatever ails you.”
I let off a sob and open my arms. He drops to the carpet between my feet and wraps his arms around me. The reality of the past twenty-four hours takes me. Following Calli further and further from our mates, getting shot…
“I couldn’t save her, Jaxx. We were stranded on that fucking ledge and there wasn’t a damned thing my money, or influence, or alpha autocratic bullshit could do to keep her from dying.”
Jaxx tightens his hold and I’d swear he’s the only thing holding me together. Without his crushing embrace, I’d shatter into a million tiny pieces and blow away on the wind. “It was way too close. No argument. Still, it’s our win. She’s recovering and with her healing ability, she’ll be full-strength in another hour or two.”
“Fuck. I never imagined she’d go down so hard so fast.”
Jaxx eases back and cradles my face in his palms. “So, now we know. After her phoenix battles, we carb-load her and keep her system runnin’ smooth. From what you described, she flew all night, had just woken up and had to battle, and then flew a great distance again. It was too much.”
“Too much for me, too.”
He leans forward and brushes his lips over mine. “You’d never know it. From the outside lookin’ in, you handled everythin’ with the same strength and proficiency as always.”
“Okay, now you’re shining me on. You don’t have to flatter me, you know. I’m a sure thing.”
Jaxx chuckles and kisses me again. My jaguar’s kisses carry tons of emotion and subtext. Over the past weeks, it’s been my pleasure to learn to speak his love language. With this kiss, he’s reassuring me that he’s here for me and that when I’m shaky, he’ll always step in to support me.
I absorb all the love and strength he offers and draw a deep, steadying breath. “Thank you.”
Jaxx winks, his stunning turquoise eyes dancing with emotion. “I’d say anytime but I’d rather not repeat this one.”
“You and me both.” I cup his jaw with my palm and pull him back to my lips for one more kiss. “I love you hard, Jaguar. Hydrogen.”
“Hydrogen, Bastian. Right back attcha.”
With that, my world rights itself once more and I give him the nod. “Okay, let’s settle our animals, and then we’ll be ready to tackle the next disaster.”
“That’s the spirit,” Jaxx says. “Some might think pessimistic, but those of us in the know recognize realism when we hear it. The next disaster awaits right around the corner conspiring to bash us in the balls.”
I bark a laugh, so fucking thankful for Jaxx. “That should be on a Hallmark card.”
When the two of us exit the Stud Room, we pass Kotah in the shower and find Calli and Brant in the throws of easing the bear’s anxiety. For all the strength of the man and beast, the gentle reverence he uses when making love to her always surprises me.
My body’s reaction to the scene in front of me is immediate and undeniable. Yeah, I need her too—hell, I’d bet my entire fortune that I need her more. I don’t deny they were all scared but there’s no way their panic could compare to what I went through.
I peel off my clothes and toss them over the chair.
Jaxx does the same and climbs onto the bed. I marvel at how comfortable the jaguar is with Calli, Brant, and Kotah. Yes, he was the first one to mate and has spent the most time in the most situations with them, but I think it speaks a lot to the man as well. Jaxx is simply a warm and amazing lover.
Hanging back a bit, I give Brant his moment.
I wasn’t trying to cock-block the guy when I said we should move on, I just thought we should stay on task.
I see his point though, if my hawk got out of control someone might get hacked up with my talons or torn by my beak. There’s no walking away from the kind of damage Brant’s bear would do if he lost his hold.
It must be a weight on him to know if he’s not in control at all times the people around him will end up dead. Maybe that’s why he deflects and cracks wise all the time. Or maybe that’s from the scars of not remembering his parents.
Oh, to be lucky enough not to remember my father.
I’d never want to forget my mother… but yeah, I’d lose my father in an instant.
Even to know the man is nearby practically liquifies my bowels. I don’t want him anywhere near me… or my mates.
“We okay, avian?” I blink out of my musings and focus on the worry in Brant’s eyes. “You look upset. If it’s me or what I said earlier—”
I stand, grip the hair at the back of his neck, and pull him in for a kiss. His hands are warm on my bare hips and he meets me chest-to-chest. When I ease back, I nip his bottom lip and smile. “It’s not you that upset me. We’re good.”
Brant nods. “Okay, good. I tend to wear thin on people. I’m trying here, but if I fuck up, know that I don’t intend to piss you off… unless I’m trying to piss you off.”
I kiss him again and then smack his bare ass. “You didn’t fuck up. Go get cleaned up. There’s still lots of daylight ahead of us and I want to get to the sex marathon part Calli mentioned as soon as possible, don’t you?”
His cocky smile returns and my anxiety eases. “You know I do.”
Brant jogs off toward the bathroom hall and I watch as Jaxx’s body arches and his eyes roll closed. The two of them are joined and he rolls them on their sides, his leg lazily hanging over her hip.
Climbing on the bed, I slide in behind Calli and reach across over her arm to caress Jaxx’s ribs. The jaguar eases out of her pussy and I kiss her neck. “Are you good, Spitfire? I don’t have to bed you. I’m content to hold you and not be the fourth.”
“Shit,” Jaxx says, his smile fading. “I didn’t even think of that. I should’ve opted out. You were put through the most and likely need the reassurance more than any of us. Sorry.”
I kiss Calli’s shoulder and nuzzle into her neck. “Doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except Calli thriving. Everything else is white noise.”
Calli wriggles her butt against my pelvis and I close my eyes and groan. “You’re hard, aren’t you?”
“I couldn’t lay next to you and not be, my love.”
“Then don’t waste it. Isn’t the saying use it or lose it?”
I chuckle. “Only if you’re sure.”
She rolls to face me and her gaze is so knowing I swear she can see directly into my soul. “You need me and your hawk needs me. I’m right here and I need you too. I hated seeing you shot. I feel your pain. I’m here for you.”
Shifting forward, I bring her knee onto my hip and press my hand flat on her lower back bringing us together. Her core is wet and welcoming and my eyes roll back in my head as I sink into her heat.
“I love you.” My voice comes out as barely more than a whisper, but I know she hears me. Calli always hears me.
“I love you back.”
“And thank the universe for th
at.” Wrapping my arms around her, we move in slow tandem, my hawk content for the first time in more than twenty-four long, stressful hours.
Jaxx eases Calli onto her back and I roll with her to mount her missionary. Who knew I could derive so much pleasure from the simple act of vanilla sex with my mates.
Jaxx runs a gentle caress from my shoulder, down my back, and over the rounds of my ass. His touch is kind and giving. He’s not looking for anything in return.
He’s simply loving me.
I clutch his hand and kiss Calli with all the relief I feel that she’s well and mine to love. Our bodies joined. Our connection firm. Our touches gentle. Her legs wrap around my thighs and she holds me tight.
I come in a surge of emotion, my release not the hot explosion I’m used to but a cresting wave of pleasure pushing out of me with a primal rightness.
I’ve never experienced anything like it before.
“I don’t want to overanalyze, but I honestly think this is the first time I’ve ever truly made love to anyone before.”
Calli’s smile sears my heart. “There he is.”
I chuckle and kiss her nose. “There who is?”
“You told me there isn’t a gentler, romantic version of a man inside you waiting to be coaxed out. You said you are acerbic and cruel and nothing more. And yet, here we are.”
“Yep,” Kotah says, climbing onto the bed with us. He kisses my shoulder and flops down beside us. “Here we are a fully bonded quint.”
Brant’s chuckle rumbles from the side of the bed. “And though it doesn’t happen often, I get to say you were wrong, Hawk. You are so much more than you thought—much more than what I thought too.”
I try to stay in the moment, but honestly, I can’t keep a straight face. Laughter bubbles up and I shake my head. “Are we seriously having a heart-to-heart when I’ve got my cock plugged in Calli?”
Kotah laughs. “All hail the sacred wand of truth.”
Okay, that busts everyone up.
I kiss Calli’s cheek, wink at Jaxx, and retreat to the bathroom to clean up and let things settle into place. It still seems unreal that those four are my mates and they love me.
But it’s real.
Calli
After a quick shower, I head into the bedroom, grab my duffle off the floor, and unzip things. “What did you boys bring me to wear.” I pull out a pair of jaguar print undies and matching bra and giggle. “I take it, this is from you, puss?”
Jaxx’s grin splits wide. “Moi? What makes you say that?”
I bend over, hook my feet into the leg holes, and pull the sexy, silky gitch up over my hips. “How far are we from the Portal Gate? Any chance we can get there and get things taken care of today?”
Hawk shrugs. “I sent Lukas to check in with the scout team and secure the area for our arrival. Knowing my father, he won’t stop trying to thwart us until he knows for certain the five of us are dead and no one is going to open the gate.”
I wince. “Do you think he’d have you killed?”
He laughs. “Oh, baby, he’d pull the trigger himself and smile while doing it.”
I finish getting dressed and zip up my duffle. “Are we leaving and going on or leaving and coming back?”
“Better to err on the side of having our stuff with us.”
I hand my stuff off to Brant to take. “My thinking exactly. Let me do a final room check.”
The five of us head down the saloon steps and I head over to the bar to thank Clara for her hospitality once again. “You look a damned sight better than you did when they carried you in here last night, girlfriend. There were a lot of worried men bustling around up there.”
I nod. “Yeah, I got caught out in the wild without warm clothes or food and drink. I don’t suggest it. It sucked bad.”
“The most important thing is that you’re steady and ready to roll now,” Jaxx says.
“And you bounced back fast,” Clara says.
Jaxx nods. “She amazes us. Every. Single. Day.”
The thwump-thwump-thwump of chopper blades cutting through the air outside brings our attention to the return of Lukas with the intel we’ll need for the next chapter of our adventure.
“Thanks again, Clara. See you soon.”
“See ye, girlfriend.”
Hawk, Kotah, and Brant are waiting at the edge of the property staring out at the farmer's field behind the Rusty Spur. When the twin-engine, Eurocopter AS365 Dauphin settles on the ground, Lukas jumps out and jogs over.
By the look on his face, our bad day is about to go into the crapper. I expect him to rip the bandage off and get straight to it. He doesn’t. He takes a beat, smiles at me, and dips his chin. “I’m glad to see you up and about. How are you feeling?”
“Much better, thank you.”
Then, he looks toward Hawk and the others and his smile drains away. “I’ve got bad news and worse news. Which would you like first?”
Hawk grimaces and throws up his hands. “Let’s go with the bad news.”
He nods and turns to Kotah. “I’m sorry, Wolf. Your sister called me a half-hour ago. Your father passed. You’ve been called in to begin your rein as Fae Prime.”
“Fuck,” Hawk says.
I move in for a hug and Jaxx, Brant, and Hawk all pile on. “I’m sorry, sweetie.”
“Me too, Wolf,” Hawk says, pulling us tight to my chest. “I’ll move mountains to make this bearable for you, I swear.”
Kotah looks numb. He squeezes my hand in his and nods. “It’s not like we weren’t prepared, right? We knew it was coming. When do I have to go back to the palace?”
“I told your sister we’d be there as soon as possible.”
Hawk scrubs a rough hand over his face and sighs. “Okay, if that’s only the bad news, I can’t fucking wait to hear the worse news.”
Lukas’s expression oozes with a look of hopeless apology and we all brace for impact. “Either your father or the corrupt members of the council, or some other dickhole with a hefty supply of C4 explosive got to the Portal Gate this morning. Our team is dead and the gate is gone.”
I gasp, nausea rolling and twisting in the pit of my belly.
Hawk steps away, throwing his fists through the air and letting off a stream of curses that are not only colorful but anatomically impossible.
Jaxx winces and moves in closer. “Any chance the connection between the realms could’ve survived without the gate?”
Lukas shakes his head. “No. The whole area is blown to smithereens. Nothing but rubble and pebbles left.”
“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Brant says, kicking a chunk of dirt at the vacant field.
“We took too long,” I say, the pain of defeat stinging my eyes. “This is my fault. I should’ve worked harder and developed faster. I failed everyone. I’m so sorry.”
Jaxx shakes his head and hugs me as the rest of them wave that off.
“That’s bullshit, Spitfire. You went from dead human to fully-bonded, completely developed phoenix in under two months. That’s incredible. No one could’ve done it better.”
“Barron’s right,” Lukas says. “Our mistake was in not anticipating the enemy better. The Black Knight was ahead of us every step of the way. We were defensive and never got a chance to be offensive.”
“The thought that my father won again burns my balls.”
My poor avian. It sucks when you can’t get ahead of your past no matter how hard you try. I understand that frustration. “Do we have men at the site now?”
Lukas nods. “We’re collecting our dead and sorting through the damage. Whoever destroyed it did a thorough job and left it abandoned. The site is secure.”
“Alright then, that’s our first stop. Then we’ll continue to the palace to get Kotah sorted out with his Fae Prime obligations. I want everyone’s thinking caps on. The universe didn’t pick us at random. We need to figure out our next steps. There’s no way Hawk’s father wins this. No. Fucking. Way.”
The five of us get
into the helicopter and buckle up.
As much as I hate Kotah going through the motions on this whole Fae Prime thing, part of me is glad to head back to our suite. With the amount of travel and jostling around we’ve done from south to north to west to east, there’s something to be said for our home away from home.
“Are you okay, my prince?”
Kotah nods. “I am. I think, in many ways, my father died for me a long time ago. The man he’s been for the past decade represents all the pain and judgment I faced. In a way, it’s kind of a relief to know that’s over. Does that sound awful?”
Brant grunts and when he shakes his head, his loose brown curls swing against his shoulders. “It sounds honest, Wolf. And no matter what faces you need to put on for the rest of the realm, with us, you can always be honest.”
Jaxx shifts to sit on the edge of the bench across from us and clasps his wrist. “We’re with you. It’ll serve them all right if you kick down their sandcastles and build your own world from the ground up.”
I swivel my chair and take his other hand. “I meant what I said. The universe didn’t pick the five of us at random.”
“What do you mean, Chigua?”
“I mean, Jaxx recognized who and what I was from the first moment I transitioned and has been our foundation from the get-go. Brant knew about the missing kids and the corruption within FCO. Hawk has the resources and the political know-how to walk into any situation and get shit done. And you just became the most powerful individual fae on this side of the two realms. No way that’s a coincidence.”
Kotah assesses that and seems to agree.
“And you, beautiful?” Brant asks. “Where do you put yourself in the universe’s plans?”
“The more I think about it, the more I think Riley does come from some kind of precognition species of fae and knew who I was destined to become. I believe every scrape she got me out of and every lesson she forced me to learn readied me for you four and my task as the phoenix.”