The Summer of Lost Things

by Chantele Sedgwick

  He’s going to kiss me. I know it. My whole body feels like it’s on pins and needles as I wait.

  I don’t even know how to explain what’s happening. I never imagined being kissed behind a waterfall. The soft spray of mist in the air, the sound of water splashing on the rocks. No one’s around. We’re very much alone. It’s a perfect moment. Perfect and sweet and my body trembles in anticipation.

  Much better than being kissed under the bleachers at the high school.

  Lame.

  He leans forward and I close my eyes just as his lips touch mine. It’s a feather of a kiss, but a kiss just the same. He wraps his arms around my waist as his lips linger on mine for just a moment. My hands move around his neck, like we’re dancing. It’s maybe ten, fifteen seconds before he pulls away.

  And it’s glorious.

  He doesn’t say anything, just searches my face, and then I smile, my lips tingling. I want him to kiss me again, but I don’t think he will. Not yet at least. He lets out a breath of what sounds like relief and squeezes my hand again before we continue on the trail.

  CHAPTER 25

  “You don’t need scores of suitors. You need only one . . . if he’s the right one.”

  —Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

  We finish the hike in about four hours. I’m sure it took so long because of me, since I had to stop and take a picture of every waterfall.

  Jack doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he’s been more talkative and playful since the kiss behind the waterfall.

  I can’t stop thinking about it.

  You know those kisses in the movies when the couples pretty much eat each other’s faces off? It wasn’t like that at all. No sloppy messes.

  Just a sweet, chaste kiss that made my body tingle from my head to the tips of my toes. It was perfect. I want to kiss him again.

  Like now.

  Preferably not right after eating, though, since we’re sitting in a little green alcove off the trail with our lunch.

  “You make a mean turkey sandwich,” I say before I take another bite.

  “What can I say? I’m a master chef.”

  I laugh. “You know, you have to actually cook something to be a master chef.”

  “I actually do like cooking. I make dinner all the time.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah. I don’t tend to shout it out to the world, but I do like cooking. Not really baking much, besides cookies, but cooking actual meals.”

  “Interesting.” I will definitely be asking for a gourmet meal from him sometime soon. “So, what do you want to go to school for?”

  “I haven’t decided yet. I thought about being a vet, but after Ben died, I think I want to be a counselor. Like at a school or something.”

  “You’d be great at that.”

  “You think so?”

  “You’re a really good listener.”

  He laughs. “I get that a lot.” He takes a bite of his sandwich, chews, looking thoughtful, then clears his throat. “I know I’m quiet. Especially compared to the people I hang out with these days. But I like observing. Watching people. When I don’t have something to say, I don’t feel the need to add nonsense to a conversation, you know?”

  “I’ve never thought about that.”

  “I like being around people. Especially good friends. They give me a lot to think about. And when I want to say something, I’ll say it, but it’s not necessary when it doesn’t need to be said.”

  “Makes sense.”

  He chuckles. “I’ve always been the quiet kid. The nice kid. Most people would hate that. I don’t mind.”

  “You are seriously one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

  “I learned a lot from my parents. They’re very giving, kind people. My mom especially. If anyone at church gets sick, she’s taking them meals the next day. She’s very thoughtful.”

  “She seems wonderful.”

  “Was it hard for you and your mom when your dad died?”

  I’m so caught off guard by the question, I drop my water bottle in my lap. It spills everywhere, soaking my pants. I grab it and put the lid back on and stand, trying to wipe some of the water off.

  “Seriously? Now it looks like I peed my pants.”

  He smiles.

  “Don’t you dare laugh.”

  The corner of his mouth twitches.

  “Does it look bad?” I turn in a full circle, and when I meet his eyes again, he chuckles.

  “Yeah, it pretty much looks like you peed. Sorry.”

  I groan. “Why do dumb things always happen to me in front of you?”

  He laughs and hands me a few napkins.

  “Thanks.”

  I pray he doesn’t ask the question again. I’ve already lied to him enough. I don’t want to make up more lies about feeling grief and acceptance for someone who has passed when they are very much alive. I have grieved for the loss of my previous life, for the loss of my father as he was, but . . . it’s not the same.

  I mean, in some ways, it’s kind of like he really has died.

  But still.

  He’s out there. Waiting for me to write back.

  “Lucy?”

  Jack’s voice pulls me out of me thoughts.

  “Yeah?”

  “You okay?”

  I nod. “Yeah. Just mad at myself for spilling my water.”

  He reaches for my napkins and empty sandwich bag and stuffs them into his backpack. “You ready to get out of here?”

  My lips quiver. I want to tell him about Dad so badly. “Jack, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  He leans back a little. “Okay?”

  I look at him. Really look. His expression is curious, yet full of worry. Worry about what? That I’ll tell him I don’t like him or something? Maybe he thinks I’ll confess to having a boyfriend after all. But no, it’s worse than that.

  “I . . .” I can’t. “Can we just stay here forever?”

  He lets out a breath and laughs. “We don’t need to leave yet.”

  I nod as I take in a deep breath of fresh, misty air and calm down. Why can’t I get the right words out? Why is this so hard?

  I glance around, trying to take my mind off things, make it less awkward and quiet. “You know? I could possibly live here.”

  “Like, right here?”

  “Yes. Like, live in this park. But then I’d become someone like the guy in Jumanji who wears leaves for clothes and stuff.”

  “That would be interesting.” He laughs and takes my hand again.

  “It would. . . . I’m ready to go now. Promise to bring me back here, though?”

  “Promise.”

  CHAPTER 26

  “Love, she thought, must come suddenly, with great outbursts and lightnings—a hurricane of the skies, which falls upon life, revolutionises it, roots up the will like a leaf, and sweeps the whole heart into the abyss.”

  —Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary

  We don’t go straight home.

  Jack drives me around Salem, pointing out all the places I should visit, even though I live here now.

  Gran used to take me around town when we’d come visit in the summers, but I was younger and didn’t really pay attention too much. Still, I loved riding in her old beat up car with her as she prattled on about how I reminded her of Mom when she was younger or how she wanted to teach me how to crochet. She was an amazing seamstress, but I was never interested in sewing or crocheting. I was more interested in art. I do wish I would have taken her up on her offer to teach me, though, since I could have had that small part of her with me. Maybe I’ll teach myself someday in her memory.

  Jack shows me the library, which makes my reader heart giddy. It’s a circular building, with the words SALEM PUBLIC LIBRARY on the front. As I watch it pass by, a thought pops into my head. I need to see if they have any information on Susan.

  “Hey, could we stop by the library for a bit? I need to check something out.”

  He shru
gs. “Sure.”

  “And I can get myself a library card.”

  “I have one if you need to use it.”

  I glance at him, skeptical.

  “What? I do go to school, you know.” He chuckles. “My mom actually made me get one.”

  “Thought so.”

  He turns the car around and, before I know it, we’re pulling into the parking lot. Once the car’s parked, I follow him inside.

  “Do you always carry a book with you?” he asks as he holds the door open for me.

  I smile. “Not always. I didn’t today.”

  “I noticed one in your bag when we went to the beach and when we went cliff jumping. Two different books, actually.”

  “Yeah, I like to have one available if I get bored.”

  “You thought you were going to be bored cliff jumping?”

  I laugh at the horrified look on his face. “No! Of course not. There’s always a lull in conversation, though, and what else could fix the awkwardness of not knowing what to say than picking up a good book?”

  “I can argue with that, but I think I’d lose.”

  “Yeah, you would.”

  He laughs, hard, and shakes his head. “You’re a force to be reckoned with when it comes to literature.”

  “Yes I am. And I’m proud of it.” I glance around the huge library then. The walls are a happy robin’s egg blue and there are shelves and shelves of books everywhere.

  “Uh . . .” Jack starts. “Do you want to stand here all day or were you looking for something specific?”

  I snap myself out of it and laugh. “Oh, right.” I walk up to the front desk and smile at the older librarian sitting there. She has grayish hair, a cute pair of pink-rimmed glasses, and long pink fingernails.

  “Hi there,” she says. “What can I do for you?”

  “Hi, yes, I’m new in town and I was wondering if you had a Salem newspaper collection. From like twenty-five or thirty years ago?”

  “We definitely have newer issues online, but the older ones we have on microfilm. Do you know how to use a microfilm reader?”

  “Actually, I do.” I flush at her surprised expression. “I used to work at a library.”

  “Oh? That’s wonderful. We’re actually taking applications for a part-time position if you’re interested.”

  “Really?” My heart flutters at the possibility of working at a library again.

  “Yes, you can check it out online or read this and bring your résumé by.” She hands me a piece of paper with the job description on it.

  “I’ll take a look at it. Thank you so much.” I try to keep my cool, though I can’t seem to wipe the smile off my face.

  She nods and gestures for us to follow her. “Now, let’s find you a computer.”

  She stands and leads us to a small area with a few computers that read microfilm. She hands me a stack of boxes with several dates on them, tells me to be careful with the microfilm as she watches me take a roll out of one box, and after watching me hook it up, gives me a satisfied smile and leaves us alone.

  Jack settles in the seat next to me. “So, what are you looking for?”

  “Just something I’m trying to figure out.” I look through a few slides. I’m really not sure what date I should be looking for. I just know Mom was a teenager when whatever happened to Susan happened.

  “You’re pretty fascinating, you know that?” Jack says.

  I blush. “Not really, but thanks.” I glance at a few mores slides before taking this roll off and getting a new one. “This may take a while.”

  “I have nothing to do today. Take all the time you need.”

  I shoot him a grateful smile and get back to the task at hand.

  Jack sits by me for a while, then gets bored and wanders through the library as I work, checking up on me periodically. He finally settles down to read a stack of comic books in a comfy-looking chair behind me, and I’m not about to interrupt. He’s reading. Which makes my bookish heart happy.

  About two hours later, my eyes hurt and my back is sore.

  “How’s it going?” Jack asks, coming up behind me and pulling me out of my groove.

  “This is the last one,” I say as I flip to the first slide. After a few slides later, I freeze and stare at the headline.

  Tragedy at Misty Falls

  Susan Kelly dead at 17 after drowning accident.

  “This is it,” I whisper. I lean forward, my eyes wide, and read the account.

  Police recovered Susan Kelly’s (17) body on Friday after an accident at Misty Falls. Several witnesses saw Susan jump off one of the smaller cliffs around 5 p.m. She went under the water and never resurfaced. Her body was found a few hours later by search and rescue teams. Susan had graduated high school in June and was planning to start working toward her teaching degree this fall. Salem School District and Salem Police Department express their condolences to Susan’s family during this difficult time. Salem Police Department voices concern for cliff jumping and urge people to be cautious since lifeguards do not patrol at Misty Falls at this time.

  “So, she died while cliff jumping.” I say, more to myself, than to Jack.

  No wonder Mom went crazy when she found out I went cliff diving. I had my suspicions, but it feels more real to have it confirmed. Poor Mom. I had no idea.

  Jack leans forward to look at the screen. “Oh, that’s my Aunt Susan. That’s funny that you just stopped on her newspaper article.”

  I whirl around to stare at him. “What?”

  “Yeah, she’s my aunt. She died before I was born. My dad still talks about her a lot.”

  “You knew who Susan was this whole time?”

  He shrugs. “Well, yeah, I didn’t know you were looking for a Susan, though.”

  Susan Kelly. Of course. I’m such an idiot. “So I could have just asked you who Susan was instead of sitting here for two hours,” I laugh. “Wow. I’m such a nerd. I didn’t even think about asking you. But your family has lived here forever, so of course they would know about this. Ugh. I’d make a pretty lousy detective.”

  He laughs. “Was this something on your list?”

  “Yeah, well, it was on my mom’s old summer list when she was a teenager. ‘Visit Susan’s grave,’ she wrote. I’m pretty sure they were best friends before she died, but my mom won’t talk about it.” I look up at him. “Do you know where she’s buried?”

  “Of course.”

  “I may have you take me there one of these days.” I turn back to the computer, take out the microfilm, and go scan a copy of the article. Once I print it off, I pay the librarian ten cents and we’re on our way out the door.

  “That was kind of a waste of time because I could have asked you who Susan was ages ago, but I’m glad I found this article. Now I can hopefully talk to my mom about it. One of these days.”

  He nods and opens the truck door for me. Once he’s inside, he starts the truck and pulls out of the parking lot. “So, I’ve been working on a few things, you know, guy list things, and I wondered, what’s your favorite book?”

  I smile at him. “Guy list things? So you did make a list?”

  “Maybe.”

  “I’m actually very impressed right now.”

  “Good. I thought you might be. Now, answer the question.”

  “But that’s an impossible question to answer.”

  “Is it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Pick one.”

  I groan. “Seriously. That is the most unfair question, ever. How can I pick only one?”

  “There has to be one you value above the rest.”

  I wrack my brain. Pride and Prejudice? Jane Eyre? Although, I don’t love Mr. Rochester like everyone else seems to. I do approve of their marriage in the end, though. They were meant for each other. Besides the whole age difference thing.

  I shudder.

  “Hmm . . .” Harry Potter? I adore Harry Potter. The twists, the character development. Snape.

  “You okay there?�
��

  I look at him. “Uh . . .yeah?”

  “You just look like you’re getting a headache or something.”

  “I am! And it’s your fault.”

  He laughs again and reaches for my hand, entwining our fingers together.

  All of a sudden, my brain doesn’t hurt anymore.

  “Seriously, I don’t know what to choose. I do have a fondness for Little Women and Anne of Green Gables, I guess.”

  “A fondness?”

  “Don’t make fun of me.”

  “I’m not. I was just surprised at your word usage. That’s all.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know why I chose that particular word.” I frown. “I’ll probably have to say Anne of Green Gables. One reason is because I’m named after the author, another reason, my mom loves it just as much as I do, and the third reason, it was the book that got me hooked on reading.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “So, what’s on this list of yours?”

  “A question for another time, my friend.”

  “No fair.”

  He grins. “One step at a time.”

  After spending the day with Jack, he finally drops me off at home. He walks me to the porch, and instead of asking me for a hug, he just pulls me into his arms without a word.

  The world feels safe when I’m with him. Like he can take all my worries away with his quiet countenance.

  There are so many worries, though. So many. Too many for him to hold.

  He looks down at me, a soft smile on his face. He runs his knuckles along my cheek, my jaw. I’ve been waiting for him to kiss me again all day.

  “You know, I always told myself I wouldn’t have a girlfriend until I graduated high school.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m just spending money on another guy’s wife.”

  I’m so shocked that I burst out laughing. “Oh my gosh, that’s so funny. And kind of ridiculous. What fun would it be to never date anyone?”

  He shrugs. “You’re right. It wouldn’t be very fun.”

  “And is that what I am? Your girlfriend?”

  He shrugs again. “If you want to be?” He shakes his head, chuckling. “I’m seriously so awkward. Sorry.”

  “You’re fine. That’s why I like you.”