Okay. See you tomorrow.
LIZA breaks the prideful act for a moment and touches ROBERT’s neck and rubs HER thumb on HIS cheek.
LIZA
Thanks.
ROBERT is too shocked by being touched to respond before LIZA leaves. HE rubs the place on the cheek SHE touched. HE’s almost in a dreamlike state, rubbing the spot with pure joy.
JAKE shoves the door open and enters in work clothes, startling ROBERT. JAKE notices.
JAKE
You doing alright?
ROBERT
Uh…yeah. I believe so.
JAKE
Good.
ROBERT leaves to the bathroom to put up the medicine bottle.
JAKE
You missed it. I just saw a fine piece of woman walking down the hallway. Man I tell you, if she’d just give me one minute.
ROBERT (OS)
What did she look like?
JAKE
A slut.
ROBERT enters.
ROBERT
Oh…
JAKE
Why are you giving me looks?
ROBERT
So how was work?
JAKE
How was being sick?
JAKE undresses. ROBERT realizes that HE’s looking too much and busies HIMSELF by making dinner.
ROBERT
Was it a bad day?
JAKE
Isn’t every day?
ROBERT
I had a good day, today.
JAKE
Really?
ROBERT
I finished my painting of you. It’s in your bedroom.
JAKE
Why’d you put it in there?
ROBERT
I didn’t want to chance someone kicking it.
JAKE
Put it on a wall.
ROBERT
Where?
JAKE
Yeah, you’re right.
JAKE goes into the bedroom. ROBERT ignores HIS meal.
ROBERT
I hope you like it.
JAKE (OS)
Wha…wow!
ROBERT
Really?
JAKE (OS)
Yeah, man. This is good! I’ve never looked so sexy in my life.
ROBERT
Thank you. It means a lot to me that you like it.
JAKE (OS)
Yeah, I do!
JAKE comes back in the room with comfortable clothes in hand and starts to dress.
JAKE (CONT.)
Could have made it a little less gay, but those high-society types probably like that, right?
ROBERT
They certainly do.
JAKE
I bet they’ll go crazy when they see me half-naked.
ROBERT
But you really do like it?
JAKE
Sure, but I don’t see anything but myself on a blanket. Am I supposed to see hidden faces or get all emotional?
ROBERT
Not necessarily.
ROBERT pushes the TV dinner table to the side and stands.
ROBERT (CONT.)
I painted you, Jake.
JAKE
Hah! That’s not me…well, maybe on a good day.
ROBERT
I can’t paint what’s not there. Just look at how your muscular, working man’s arms wrap around your perfectly angled face, how your chest expands like a proud warrior, and your eyes show that even your manliness has its softer sides. It’s perfect.
JAKE looks back into his room.
JAKE
Yeah…I guess. Here’s a question. Why’d you paint the sheets red?
ROBERT
I don’t know.
JAKE
I know you could paint me on a dragon killing a spaceship or whatever, but the only thing you changed was the sheets. Why?
Beat.
ROBERT
Goes well with your eyes.
JAKE
Okay.
JAKE looks in a mirror, combing HIS hair by hand.
ROBERT
You’re going to be famous. You know that, right?
JAKE
You really think so?
ROBERT
I know so. After everyone in LA sees how handsome you are, you’ll have people tearing down our door to see you.
JAKE
That would be nice. Have the women chase me for once, right?
ROBERT
With you as my model, everyone will want a piece.
JAKE
Speaking about that…Robert, let me ask you something.
ROBERT
Go ahead.
ROBERT goes back to HIS meal.
JAKE
Do you know a guy named Norman Perry?
JAKE opens the refrigerator and rummages around.
ROBERT
I know of him. He’s a sculptor from California. He moved to LA last month. How do you know that name?
JAKE gets out a few things and begins to make a big sandwich.
JAKE
Shopping at the Health Nut stores again? You can’t grow muscles on tomato soup and soy alone.
JAKE prepares the sandwich.
JAKE (CONT.)
I met him today at the restaurant. He listened to a customer chew me out, and he came up to me and said my gourmet burgers are the best. We talked a bit, told me he sculpted, and I told him I model. You know, since you got me started on it.
ROBERT
What did you say?
ROBERT stops eating.
JAKE
What?
ROBERT stands.
ROBERT
Did you accept?
JAKE
You got my mind off track. What are you asking?
ROBERT
I know he asked you to model for him. Did you?
JAKE
I told him I’d think about it.
ROBERT
You can’t do it.
JAKE
Why not?
ROBERT
Because…you’re mine!
JAKE stops making the sandwich.
ROBERT (CONT.)
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, but I can’t have you model for the competition before I even have a chance to sell my paintings.
JAKE
Why?
ROBERT
Because! Who will want my work when they know in three months Perry will have a 3-D model?
JAKE
I guess I didn’t think of it like that.
ROBERT
He offered you the job when you said my name, didn’t he?
JAKE
He did get friendly after I said Robert Griggs.
JAKE munches on the sandwich.
ROBERT
You see! That’s what he wants. He wants to ruin me.
JAKE
Hey, don’t get overheated.
ROBERT
This arrogant, no-talent sculptor thinks he can get the best of me?
JAKE
Robert, chill!
ROBERT
Don’t do it.
JAKE
I haven’t said ‘yes’ yet.
ROBERT
I’ll pay you more.
JAKE
For modeling? You don’t pay me at all. You let me live here for free.
ROBERT
I’ll start paying you.
JAKE
You can afford it?
ROBERT
Yes, but don’t work for anyone else until I’m through. Promise?
JAKE
Okay. I’ll work only for you. Cool?
Beat.
JAKE (CONT.)
Cool. How much you going to pay me?
ROBERT
A hundred dollars a painting.
JAKE
…two hundred.
ROBERT
Deal.
JAKE licks some mustard off a finger and then holds out the hand.
JAKE
<
br /> Shake on it?
ROBERT stares at JAKES hand for a moment, then goes ahead and shakes.
JAKE (CONT.)
Yeah, if you’re willing to touch my hand, then I know you’re good for it. Here, you take this.
JAKE looks through his work pants and gives a business card to ROBERT.
JAKE (CONT.)
He gave it to me. Has his phone number on the back. Wait, you’re not going to call him with your business voice, are you?
ROBERT
No, I won’t do that to you. You’re my best friend, Jake.
JAKE
Cool. You’re mine too.
ROBERT
Want to go out again?
JAKE
Not tonight. Those Asian chicks’ plane got delayed, so they’re staying here again. I’m not passing up a second chance to lose my load.
ROBERT
Okay.
JAKE
I’ll call you if we finish early, okay?
ROBERT
I’ll be here.
JAKE goes into the bedroom.
JAKE (OS)
Did you see where I put my lucky shirt?
ROBERT
No.
JAKE comes back with another shirt in hand with the other still holding the sandwich.
JAKE
Weren’t you looking at it last?
ROBERT
I put it back down.
JAKE
I’ll catch you later.
ROBERT
Goodbye.
JAKE leaves. ROBERT waits a second, then takes out the “lucky shirt” from a hiding place. HE then puts it on, takes out the business card, and calls the number.
ROBERT (CONT.)
Is this Norman Perry?...Is this Norman Perry?...You know damn well who this is, trying to move in on my model!...Yes, you do!...I don’t care what you promise him, you’ll never take him from me, do you understand? …I will ruin you…Yeah, there won’t be a gallery in LA willing to put up your trash after I’m through with you. Do you understand me?...Did you just…?
ROBERT hangs up the phone.
END ACT I, SCENE IV
ACT I, SCENE V
ROBERT’s apartment.
SFX: banging on front door.
LIZA (OS)
Hey Robert, let me in. It’s Liza.
ROBERT yells from the bathroom.
ROBERT (OS)
Who is it?
LIZA (OS)
It’s Liza! Open up!
SFX: knocking on front door.
LIZA opens the door and enters.
LIZA (CONT.)
Robert, where hell are you?
LIZA searches the other rooms.
SFX: banging on bathroom door.
LIZA (OS)
Robert, we need to talk!
ROBERT (OS)
I’m in the process of something right now. I’ll be out in a moment.
LIZA walks back into the main room.
SFX: a toilet flushing.
ROBERT enters adjusting HIS shirt.
ROBERT
Why are you here? I didn’t call for you.
LIZA
First, I have a question, and seeing how you answer it, I have another.
ROBERT
Okay.
LIZA
You’re not doing something stupid like falling in love with me, are you?
ROBERT
What? Why would you…I…
LIZA
Oh, so you don’t have feelings for me? Then why’d you send me that painting? In fact, how’d you get my address?
ROBERT
I paid one of your friends to tell me.
LIZA
Was it April?
ROBERT
I don’t know.
LIZA
Little crack momma! Too messed up in the head, telling strangers where I live.
ROBERT
Are you mad?
LIZA
Answer my question first! Are you falling in love?
ROBERT
No, no, no, no. I promise.
LIZA
Second question: why’d you send me that painting?
ROBERT
I sent it because…I like it too much to sell it, but I still want someone I liked to have it.
LIZA
Sounds like love to me.
ROBERT
I promise. If I keep it all to myself, then no one else can appreciate it.
LIZA
That the truth?
ROBERT
Yes, I swear.
Beat.
LIZA
It’s pretty.
ROBERT
Is it?
LIZA
Why wouldn’t it be? You’re one of those quiet genius types. Anything you make has to be good.
ROBERT
You really like it?
LIZA
That’s what I’m saying. I get gifts from customers everyday; candy, lotions, stuffed animals…but only through Arny. He’s my manager.
ROBERT
Manager?
LIZA
Anyway, I get lots of stuff men buy from stores, but this is the first thing that someone made. How did you paint that?
ROBERT
I’ve been painting for a while. It’s my career. Here, look.
ROBERT gets a photo book and flips through the pages to show off his works.
LIZA
Are these all yours?
ROBERT
Yes. This one took me a whole year to paint, but it’s one of my more famous works.
LIZA
That’s…beautiful.
ROBERT
Thank you.
ROBERT turns a page.
ROBERT (CONT.)
This one sold for the most, but I think it was because of the sexual appeal rather than the meaning behind it.
LIZA
How did you make her look so happy?
ROBERT
Happy? I guess I can see happy. Hmm.
ROBERT turns a page.
ROBERT (CONT.)
This one I gave away to a friend of mine. He forces everyone who enters his house look at it for no less than one whole minute. I wish he’d stop that.
LIZA looks up at the paintings on the wall.
LIZA
Are those yours too?
ROBERT
No. Those were gifts.
LIZA
From who?
ROBERT
Fellow artists.
LIZA
How much are they worth?
ROBERT
Probably a few thousand each.
LIZA looks back at the book in ROBERT’s hands.
LIZA
And yours?
ROBERT
The money isn’t why I do it.
LIZA
I don’t know if I should take your painting, Robert.
ROBERT
Why not?
LIZA
Because we’ve only been together twice and didn’t do it. I wouldn’t feel bad if you got your freak on, but all you want to do is talk!
ROBERT
I like talking to you.
Beat.
LIZA
I know what we’ll do. I’ll keep the painting, and you don’t pay me for next week. Fair?
ROBERT
It is a gift, not a payment.
LIZA
You spend more than two hundred making it? And add labor, too.
ROBERT
Probably, yes. But-
LIZA
-then it’s done. Okay?
ROBERT
But I don’t mind paying you. I don’t need the money.
LIZA
What, you think I do?
ROBERT
No, I’m not saying-
LIZA
-You think I’m some poor tramp just scraping along in life?
ROBERT
No.
LIZA
I live bett
er than most women my age and do a hell of a lot less for it. I don’t need your charity!
ROBERT
It’s not that. I don’t have anyone to spend money on. I don’t have family or close friends to give it to, so why is it a problem that I spend it on you?
LIZA
Robert, I’m no one. Save your money on that special someone you’ll find someday.
ROBERT puts the book away.
LIZA (CONT.)
I do like it.
ROBERT
What do you like about it?
LIZA
I like the guy in it.
ROBERT
How so?
LIZA
I don’t know, the way he looks. It’s sexy. I like men with muscles.
ROBERT
So do I.
LIZA gives ROBERT a look.
ROBERT
Elaborate muscle structures are more fun to paint.
LIZA
The way he’s on that bed, knowing something’s going to happen. It gives me chills.
ROBERT
No Touching Page 3