Deliverance

by Samantha Schinder

  As he considered the jars, though, he was daunted by the number that had accumulated over the years. Had he really taken that much out of his own head? To put it all back in one fell swoop could possibly drive him mad. No, it was better to reintegrate them into his brain slowly. He sat back, fingers poised at his lips for the longest time, considering. Finally, he selected one of the jars, slowly coaxing the lid open.

  Inside, he could hear the sigh of the memory, as if it were relishing the contact with open air. He coaxed the memory up, so that it was floating on his fingertips, swirling gently in the warmth by the fire. For a moment, he considered putting it back. Shutting it back in its place or worse, smashing the jars to bits on the floor, and having the choice irrevocably out of his reach.

  No, he determined. This time he would not fail them.

  And he plunged the memory through his temple back into his mind.

  ***

  “How is that even legal?” John asked Cat as they sat on the ridge overlooking the beachhead. They had built a fire and were enjoying the stars for as long as they could before the bitter cold drove them back indoors.

  “’Tis how it is done,” she replied simply, sitting back on her hands, eyeing him challengingly.

  “No records? No witnesses?” John scoffed. “Can’t possibly be that simple.”

  “No, ’tis not a simple thing, marriage. It binds two people by their souls for life. But that requires not the eyes of others, only the gods. If I say I be married to a man, then my word is all I need. I have no use for the assumptions of others,” Cat replied seriously.

  “Then marry me. Perform the handfasting,” he demanded, sitting up and searching her face. She was like a priestess, this wild woman he had found and fallen in love with. She carried herself with the bearing of a tribal queen, reigning over her section of the world, this remote piece of island. Once she had taken him, into her bed and into her heart, he knew he would never be rid of her. She was written in his blood.

  She regarded him thoughtfully, then reached down and with a yank, ripped a section of cloth from her linen tunic. With the scratchy, tawny fabric, she bound both their hands.

  “’Tis about time ye asked me, Lord John Asher. We have a little one on the way. She needs a father,” Cat told him.

  John’s eyes swam. What? Had she just said…there was a baby on the way?

  “Now repeat after me you daft man.”

  “I take thee, Catalyst nee Independence Magna, body and soul, before all gods…”

  ***

  It was some time before John resurfaced, gasping. He was reeling with the familiar demons he had closeted away. But one at a time, he would have to challenge each one and win this time. There was no avoiding it. Any small sliver of information he could remember from his days past on Nar could prove useful in the battle to come.

  It was a battle he meant to win.

  CHAPTER 24

  Deliverance

  She was warm and relaxed…so relaxed a small dollop of drool eased its way out of the corner of her mouth onto the pillow. No, not a pillow, she realized as she grew more awake. Jack.

  Carefully, she lifted her head from his chest, trying not to disturb him. He was so animated when he was awake; she wanted a chance to study him while the calm of sleep was upon him. He looked so much younger, lips parted, breathing softly, tranquil. Jack awake was entirely different, a storm of energy ready to take on the world. Deliverance loved that Jack, but this one was attractive as well. She attempted to commit to memory the line of his brow, the curve of his throat where his Adam’s apple lay, the graceful, powerful fingers subdued with sleep.

  Despite her attempts to let him sleep, he stirred and pulled her closer. After a minute he grunted.

  “Good morning,” he said simply in a gravely, sleep-ridden tone. He eyed her, and she turned to rest her chin on his chest. “Sleep well?”

  “Yes, actually. I am accustomed to sharing a bed with my mother. I did not know I missed having the company until now,” she answered, careful not to jab her chin into his chest as she talked.

  “Well…hmm. I’m not sure how I feel about being your surrogate mother,” Jack said playfully, rubbing his face with the arm not around Deliverance.

  “You know what I mean!”

  Just then the door opened, revealing one of the serving girls with a tray of breakfast who promptly squeaked. “Oh! Oh my goodness! I am so sorry!” She dropped the tray on the nearest surface that would hold it and scampered away.

  “Well, now you’ve done it,” Deliverance said to Jack. “The whole house will be a flurry with gossip.”

  “Dear me. How scandalous,” he said in an entirely unconcerned tone. “Let’s give them something to talk about then.” And he pulled her even closer.

  ***

  Oh my, Deliverance thought to herself, blush raging in her cheeks as they descended for breakfast much much later. That was entirely pleasant after the first initial coupling. Jack was a gentle lover, watching her face, reading her body. It was not entirely unlike how Effie described her more enjoyable encounters, although Effie’s descriptions lacked something. They were so carnal, almost crude. Perhaps it was the heart-pounding surge of emotion, the love that Deliverance felt when she was with Jack that was lacking in Effie’s accounts. Deliverance felt a surge of pity for her friend. Perhaps here in this more accepting world, she too could find something more.

  Eleanor read her face, being somewhat of a master people reader like her brother, and tittered. Great, Deliverance thought. It was already afoot.

  “You’re up late…or are you?” Eleanor said to her brother.

  “Hush you.” He scolded her and dropped his customary kiss upon her crown, entirely indifferent about whatever gossip might be flitting about the house.

  “You’re to meet Doctor Pennington this afternoon,” Eleanor said to Deliverance through a mouthful of toast. “Riding in Hyde Park.” The girl gave a sigh. “I am well enough to go riding again, brother.” She petitioned her brother.

  “Yes, of that I am certain. However, this particular invitation was for Deliverance. If you would like to take your pony out, I am sure Stiles would accompany you,” Jack told her. Stiles was the head stable hand.

  “What about you? What are you up to today, my scandalous brother?” She prodded him.

  “Trying to cause more scandal. So, I must be off. Behave, you two! Actually, I find it rather more interesting when you do not. Go forth and wreak havoc, my ladies!” He laughed and headed out the door.

  “So,” Eleanor said, fixating her pixie stare on Deliverance, “tell me everything about yesterday.”

  After Deliverance finished her account, Eleanor sat back, hand to her forehead.

  “Holy jiminy Christmas!” She swore. “What a load to swallow!” Deliverance nodded. It had been a lot. “And to think, Doctor Asher is your father! That must have been a shock.”

  “It was. But this whole experience has been one after the other. I am learning to roll with the punches, as you would say,” Deliverance replied, taking a sip of her coffee.

  “Do not worry, though. I can do my part! I am certain I can fix y
ou…and all your friends. It is my personal crusade!” Eleanor declared with the melodrama of a young teen girl.

  Deliverance smiled at her bravado. “I know you can,” she said.

  “Well, you have to be off soon to go riding with the good doctor. Let’s get you dressed in some breeches!” Eleanor announced, pushing away from the breakfast table.

  Deliverance had become used to being Eleanor’s personal fashion project by now. Riding clothes, as it turned out, were a combination of comfort, durability, and flair. The breaches were of a soft, stretchy tan fabric, reinforced in areas, and the boots, tall, guarding the calves. The jacket had gusseted arms, allowing for free range of motion, although the tweed was a bit showy.

  “I had thought at one time that Doctor Pennington and Jack would get married. They were such good friends even after Jack came back from his military service,” Eleanor commented as she surveyed her work.

  Deliverance felt her stomach drop, annoyingly. “Oh?” She managed casually.

  “It never did come to fruition,” she went on, and added brightly, “And now he has you!”

  Ah, but what would the future bring? Deliverance pondered darkly. If she were cast back to her island, would he find comfort with his old friend? She was ever so much more polished and elegant than she, and beautiful as well. She realized such thinking would do no good, however, and tried to cast the thoughts aside.

  ***

  “This is Horace. He is a gentle soul, but eager to please,” Addie introduced Deliverance to the horse she would be riding. He was a lanky chestnut with a smart, white blaze upon his kind face and three white stockings to match. Deliverance stroked his elegant, curved neck. Their horses were so different here…so tall! They were nothing like the stocky ponies on Nar.

  “He is beautiful. And so shiny!” Deliverance murmured, running her hands along his glossy coat.

  “Yes, I have a new stable master, but I believe he is doing well so far. And this is Curie. She’s my personal mount. I named her after one of my favorite scientists.” Curie was a dappled grey, almost azure in hue with her legs descending into cobalt socks. Her generous mane almost reminded Deliverance of the wild manes of her island ponies, as it fell in lush, generous waves over the horse’s elegant neck. The horse whuffled softly into Addie’s hand, evidently pleased to see her.

  A stable hand had led the horses out for the waiting ladies, and they now each grasped their mounts’ reins in their hands. Addie’s stables were not far from the riding park. She assured Deliverance they could ride the horses there along a path. The stables themselves were immense and airy, light filtering in from all sides.

  “We have twenty-seven horses here and another hundred or so at my family’s country estate. My father was something of a horse enthusiast, although my uncle and I really share the passion for the hunt. It is a family tradition if you will, although I have forced him to start using a drag instead of hunting an actual fox. I cannot bear the thought of the poor creature being tormented. My uncle is stuck in his ways but I have my influences. He relents to my whims if I am insistent enough,” Addie chattered as she bent over and checked the horses’ hooves for stones.

  “I love horses as well…but these are quite a bit different than I am used to,” Deliverance admitted.

  “Oh? How so?” Addie said as she finished running her finger along the crevice along the frog of the hoof.

  “They’re…” Deliverance was not sure what Southish horses looked like and did not want to give too much away, so she avoided noting how much taller they were. “They have an odd seat on them is all.”

  “What? Oh, the saddle?” Addie asked, pointing to the foreign looking pad of leather attached to the horse. It had odd dangling elements and different belt attachments.

  “Yes, I’m afraid I’ve never ridden with one,” Deliverance said, looking at the saddle skeptically.

  “All right then!” Addie remarked brightly. “We shall go without! Might as well give those Hyde Park biddies something else to talk about. There has been nothing but tongues wagging since you rather flattened Ned Turner at the ball. It’s been delightful.”

  Addie circled Horace, and popped the large belt, called a girth, on his saddle and slid the contraption off the horse. She set it, propped on its front against a stall and did the same for her horse. “It’s been ages since I’ve ridden without a saddle. It will be like being a little girl again! Let’s go!”

  She clipped her velvety helmet in place on her head and Deliverance copied the motion. Then Addie, in a graceful movement, leapt, swinging her leg around, and mounted Curie. It took Deliverance a couple tries, but with a fistful of Horace’s generous mane, she managed to haul herself atop her steed. It was much farther from the ground than she was used to. Luckily, the journey to the park was at a walk, so Deliverance could adjust to the rocking gait of the much larger horse.

  The leaves about them were changing as the God of Horizons slowly began to bring about winter. Autumn was in full bloom; crimson, saffron, amber, and carrot floated all around them, occasionally dropping in swirls to the path below. Stretching limbs arched over the wide, well trodden pathway, giving the illusion of arcs along the promenade. The sweet, tannin smell of decaying leaves wafted on the sunny afternoon breeze. As they made their way into the park itself, Deliverance noted the popularity of the location. Other equestrians dotted the expansive green and trails throughout. Groups of mothers pushing lacy prams ambled along passing walkers enjoying a sojourn in the warmest part of the day, parasols lazily perched on shoulders. Men in tails and tweeds smoked cigars and gestured as they discussed this matter and that, and older ladies perched upon benches, feeding the flitter of birds. Occasionally the flock would rise up, startled, and then settle back to the ground to commence nibbling the scattered seed again.

  Deliverance breathed in the fresh air, glad to not feel so enclosed as she often did in the city proper. As they passed a group of well-heeled men, Deliverance could feel the stares upon them.

  When she looked at Addie questioningly, her friend replied, “They are not used to seeing women of our station ride without saddles…or women in the city at all ride without saddles. I’m afraid our wildness is offending their delicate sensibilities.” Addie’s tone belayed she was not at all concerned about offending their sensibilities. She must be secure in her station, Deliverance reasoned, as was Jack, to not care a whit what society thought. It was a luxury, she decided, not everyone could afford.

  As they road, Addie regaled Deliverance with tales of Jack as a child. Addie was an eloquent storywinder, and Deliverance found herself enjoying her company. In the back of her mind, however, Eleanor’s comment lingered. Why had Jack not fallen for this lovely, engaging woman?

  “You have an excellent seat,” Addie complimented her as they ambled along.

  “Oh, thank you. I must admit I am not accustomed to riding horses like this. Although I find their gaits to be much smoother than I am used to from my own horses back home.” Deliverance told her.

  “I would imagine so. Wherever your home is,” Addie replied nonchalantly.

  “I’m from Southland,” Deliverance protested, her heart giving a leap into her throat. Addie suspected something!

  “My dear, unlike most of my class,
I am well-traveled. I have been to Southland many times. You are most certainly not Southish,” Addie declared. Deliverance struggled for a cover but Addie continued before she could make an excuse, “Do not fret, my dear. Your secret is safe with me. I shan’t reveal you to anyone, nor shall I question you upon it.”

  Deliverance relaxed a little.

  “You’ve known for a while?” she asked curiously, studying the other woman with renewed eyes.

  “I’ve suspected for a while. But I am a master at keeping secrets. Ask Jack,” Addie answered her, steering down another path.

  Screwing up her courage, Deliverance finally asked, “You and Jack have been close for a long time…why have you never…?”

  Addie turned to her and gave a gay laugh. “I was wondering when you would work up the gumption to ask. No, Jack and I…we have never been lovers. Nor will we ever be.”

  “Oh.”

  Addie’s eyes sparkled. “My dear, I am a lesbian.”

  ***

  Addie was, as it turned out, good at keeping secrets. Deliverance asked her why she had never married. It was, as Jack had explained, allowed in Arcanton after all.

  “In Arcanton, yes, but our class, in all its infinite luxury, is, I’m afraid, the slowest to adapt to new social conventions,” Addie explained to her. She added ruefully, “It seems those of us with the most to lose are the least accepting of change.” When Deliverance looked at her not quite understanding she expounded, “It is not done in our society. I have not had a chance to meet anyone suitable who shares my…preferences. And so, I am the dedicated spinster.”