by Amy McKinley
The night promised to be hard enough as it was. The annual bonfire for Kieran was at a secluded beach that only island natives frequented. Its access was off the beaten path. We got into Jaxon’s Escalade and drove in silence.
It didn’t take too long until we were pulling through dense vegetation, bumping along the hidden dirt-and-sand road that opened up to a small clearing at the edge of the beach. Cars crowded the small opening and lined the makeshift road. To park, we had to back up, maneuvering between two trees off the worn trail.
Orange flames licked the dark sky, reflecting off the closest clouds. Tiki torches were set up, lining the beach. It was inviting, something Kieran would have loved. I rubbed a hand over my aching heart as Jaxon and I walked to join everyone.
He squeezed my hand. “Want anything to drink?”
“Definitely.”
I barely heard his “be right back” before a group of three women approached him. My body heated, and I recognized the emotion for what it was—jealousy. They had a chance with him. I never had.
Tearing my gaze from the four of them, I scanned the people there. I knew a majority of them. Turning my back to the little scene, I perused the chair groupings scattered around, including those farther from the fire. I made my way to a small cluster on the outskirts, where I was more comfortable. Jaxon knew where to find me.
A woman stood from one of the areas that I was walking toward. She took a few steps as she waved at some other people and was about to join them when she spotted me. She changed directions to intercept me.
“Kayla.” Vivi reached out and clasped my hands, a wide smile stretching her pretty face. From what I could tell from the firelight, she had already had a few beers. But the girl I’d known in the past had changed. Her bright eyes sparkled before she pulled me in for a hug. “I’m so glad you came tonight. We’ve all missed you.”
I returned her squeeze and smiled when she pulled back. “Thanks, Vivi.”
“I’ll catch up with you later. I need to grab another drink.” She squeezed me once more then went in the direction of a cooler. Huh, the jealous cheerleader in the past isn’t there anymore. Marriage to Mateo must have mellowed her. She seemed happy, which was good. He was a great guy and deserved to be married to this new, improved version, not the one I’d known back then.
With Vivi waylaid on her way back by a couple of people, I spotted a rather large man sprawled in one of the chairs I’d been heading for. When he lifted his hand in a wave, I grinned and closed the distance.
“Hey, Mateo.” I dropped into one of the beach chairs. “How’s it going?”
“Good, Little K.”
I turned, shielding my features so he wouldn’t see the grimace. The football players used to call me “Little K” because my brother and I shared the same first letter in our names. Sometimes, even Kieran had called me that. It was a bittersweet memory, and I suspected I would have to deal with a lot of that at the bonfire. But I was there, and it was time to heal some of the old wounds, even if I would never stop missing him.
“So you and Vivi?” I’d heard about the wedding in their freshman year of college. Just the thought of where they were in life and all they’d experienced growing up together hit home. I hadn’t shared my past with Roy, only my present, and I’d thought there was a possibility of a future too.
“Yeah,” He took a long pull from his beer then drew me back to the conversation. “We got married in college.”
“Kids?”
“Nah. She never wanted to be a mom. But what about you? It’s been forever.”
Might as well dive in deep. “I’m still working for the paper. But I thought it was time I came home and went to one of Kieran’s bonfires.”
Mateo huffed out a heavy sigh with something like deep-set grief carving lines around his usually smiling mouth. “If Kieran were here, there’s so much I’d want to say to him. But he was never about regrets or what-ifs, ya know?” He shook his head, tipping his beer back for another drink. “It’s good that you came. He would have liked that.”
I kicked my legs out and crossed my ankles just as Jaxon appeared with a beer. “Thanks,” I murmured then downed half the contents. He set another in the cupholder in the armrest. That was one thing about Jaxon I adored—even though he was quiet, he didn’t miss anything. And if I were to survive the night, I would need a lot of alcohol to do it.
“Jaxon.” Mateo grinned. “I heard you’re a cop.”
“Temporarily,” Jaxon said. “How’s the auto shop?”
“It’s a job.” He flashed another easygoing grin. “Being a mechanic has its headaches, but with my bum shoulder, it beats doing grunt work.”
“I heard about that.” His injury had been a career-ending one. I finished off the rest of my drink then handed the empty to Jax. “That had to be hard. You wanted to go into the NFL, right?”
“Mm-hmm,” Mateo agreed. “Harder for Vivi, I think. But I’m good with our lot in life. You been surfin’ lately, Little K?”
“Here and there. I need to get back out and train for Pipe.”
“Hells yeah. We’ll come to cheer you on. You still surfin’, Jax?” Mateo asked, and they fell into a discussion about memorable waves and football while I zoned out, watching the people and catching snippets of their conversations.
Some were hard to listen to because they talked about memories they had with my brother, but it was also good to know he was alive to them, too, if only in their hearts. An easy beachy vibe encompassed all of us as the soft strains of an acoustic guitar shifted the atmosphere from partying to nostalgia.
I choked on my beer, enduring Jax’s thump on my back as Mitch sang Kieran’s favorite song, which I knew they did every year. Tears flowed down my cheeks, and Jax pulled me into his lap. I stayed there, cradled in his embrace, warm and safe while Mitch’s deep, melodic voice danced over the waves and conjured all the times my brother used to break out into song on starry nights while we partied around the bonfire. God, I missed him.
8
Jaxon
The night air had cooled significantly, and so far away from the fire, Kayla shivered. I lifted her into my arms to share body heat without protest. Mateo droned on about restoration work on an older car. Vivi had rejoined him, taking Kayla’s seat. I had been done with the scene not long after it began. After talking with the few people I’d come to see, I only waited for Kayla to say the word, and we would head out.
She curled against me, resting her head on my chest, and I inhaled the scent of her. She didn’t know it, but she was my world—or the one I wanted. Talking with those two was never close to ranking high on my list of things to do, especially when I had Kayla all to myself without the natural barriers she continuously erected in my presence.
I made my excuses, left, and carried her to the car. She stirred once when I got her into the passenger seat and buckled her in but fell back to sleep immediately afterwards.
Stars dotted the sky, and the moon vied for attention. I maneuvered us out of the tight self-made parking place between two palm trees, grateful that a coconut hadn’t fallen and dented my car.
There had been a lot of people at the bonfire for Kieran, and with Kayla present, the secret I held burned in my gut. Eventually, it would come out. Secrets always did. What worried me most was how she would take the news and if I would lose her for good.
Before long, I’d pulled into my parking space in the condo’s garage. Shutting the car off, I turned to look at Kayla, sleeping soundlessly. She was so at peace in that moment, but I knew her truth—or a part of it. She was broken. More than anything, I wanted to help her pick the pieces back up and glue them together, chasing the sorrow she carried around and making her stronger.
I got out, rounded the car, and carefully lifted her into my arms. She stirred once with a soft “what?” before passing out again. We rode the elevator to my floor, and I manipulated the lock open so we could enter. Kicking my shoes off, I went straight to my bedroom, where I’
d wanted her from the moment she’d stepped inside my home.
Once she was on the bed, I took her sandals off and pulled the covers over her. I wanted to make her more comfortable by shimmying her out of her little shorts and her bra at least, but I didn’t have that right. Again, she stirred, blinking bleary eyes at mine. Her mouth formed a silent question.
“Shh, we’re home. Get some sleep.” I brushed a kiss across her forehead. Her eyelids fluttered, and her long lashes rested against her cheeks before she drifted off.
After I got ready for bed, I crawled under the covers on the opposite side then pulled her close. It was the only privilege with her I could take, at least for the time being. I hoped things would change. Her wanting to stay here and do the painting for her parents gave me several days to try to get past her barriers and help her heal from the loss of her brother, which she’d never come to terms with.
Throughout the years, I’d wrestled with the possibility of her, and I had a chance I would not pass up. She didn’t realize it, but she’d always been mine, and I hers.
I ran my fingers through her hair, and she snuggled fully against my side, her head resting on my shoulder. I’d never felt so complete.
Again, the promise I made to Kieran would be broken, because I had to have her in my life. I had loved her forever, and it was only deepening.
Having her with me was a second chance. Not only that, but I suspected she needed my help. Those marks on her neck were the size and general layout of a handprint. I’d seen that before, and it enraged me that someone could have hurt Kayla.
I’d given her the day to keep her secrets and her past to herself. I glanced at the clock and noted it we were already into the early morning hours. At full light, she would tell me what happened and who the danger was. Because this woman was the one I wanted to keep for all of my tomorrows. Making sure she was safe, happy, and loved was my highest priority.
9
Kayla
Tiny drums pounded inside my head, and my mouth tasted like cotton. I was burning up on one side of my body. Before I pried open my sandpaper eyelids, I tried to piece together what had happened. The last thing I remembered was talking to Mateo and Jaxon handing me one beer after another. It got a little fuzzy after that.
No, I remembered waking while in Jax’s car and again when we came back to the condo. But nothing after that. I could feel sweat beading along my hairline and my cheek wet with drool. I shifted to turn on my other side and find a dry spot on the hard pillow when a band tightened around my back, holding me in place. A wave of horror hit me, and I forced my eyes open. I wasn’t lying on a pillow but sprawled on top of Jaxon—and I was drooling on him!
In my head, the marching band increased to an alarming tempo with my utter embarrassment and excessive alcohol consumption. I took hasty inventory and almost whimpered with relief over the small miracle that I was fully clothed. He was hard enough to resist when I was sober. With slow movements, hoping not to wake him, I tried to slip from his arms.
“Where are you going?” His gruff, sleepy voice sent a wave of desire through me despite my hangover.
I managed to croak, “Bathroom,” and as soon as his arm loosened, I fled to the bathroom to brush my teeth and splash water on my face. Arms braced on the sink, I took a breath then lifted my gaze to the mirror, cringing at my chalky complexion. A shudder ran through me, and I fought against the saliva pooling in my mouth. Sweat broke out along my hairline for the second time. With slow, measured breaths between frantic swallowing, I managed to survive the moment rather than hugging the toilet and purging my bad decisions from the night before.
After rinsing my face and mouth again, I left the bathroom and faltered. Jaxon was still in bed. The sheet stopped just below his belly button, and my eyes traveled from that spot, across chiseled abs, to his strong, broad shoulders and sexy-as-hell biceps, and finally ending on his sinfully gorgeous face. With his eyes closed, I allowed myself this moment. He was so handsome, and I’d wanted him for as long as I could remember. He and Kieran had been best friends, and on occasion, I used to tag along with them. It was always at the beach. Once there, we surfed together. Included in their circle, I would bask in the attention.
I’d always had a crush on Jaxon. He had a quiet strength about him. But when he did talk, I used to lean forward to catch every word. And when he looked at me, focusing all that intensity on my way, I was lost.
Another wave of longing swept over me.
When he grinned, my entire world brightened. If Kieran had let me, I would have followed them everywhere just for the possibility of Jaxon seeing me for more than his best friend’s little sister.
Then, one day, he had.
I remembered our date like it was yesterday and let myself fall back in time to experience it again.
I’d wiped damp palms on my blue-silk wrap dress as Jaxon and I sat on a balcony table at La Mer. When he’d suggested it as our first date, I’d melted even more. Well-known, the fine-dining establishment served French cuisine with tropical ingredients. I hadn’t been entirely sure about that part, but we’d both found something to order, and the food had lived up to its reputation.
There was plenty for us to talk about, and we chatted for the two hours we’d dined together. And on the lulls, we didn’t need to fill the silence with constant chatter—we had our own way of communicating. It was in the touch of his hand on my arm, the way his mesmerizing brown eyes would make me feel as if I was the only woman he’d ever seen. In his presence, the beautiful view paled in comparison. My heart soared when he made me the sole recipient of the wicked grin that curved his too-kissable mouth, the one I planned to experience firsthand when he took me home.
I’d declined dessert, and instead, we enjoyed the ocean view for a few more minutes until the check came. The scrape of his chair raised goosebumps along my exposed skin as he moved closer to me. When his arm draped across my shoulders, I leaned into his warmth.
“This was a great first date.” I smiled at him then confessed my secret. “I didn’t think you’d ever ask me out.”
His fingers trailed up and down my bare arm. “I’ve wanted to for a year.”
Better late than never. “I’m glad you did.” Heat sizzled between us, and I found it hard to breathe evenly. He was too close, and he affected me on so many levels. We’d known each other almost all my life, and I’d wanted him for about half of it.
Lights twinkled at the front of the beach, and salt hung heavily in the air as we listened to the rhythmic roll of the waves breaking along the shore. It was spellbinding and romantic. Jaxon could have taken me to a picnic on the beach with sandwiches, and I’d have had the same experience. I didn’t need fancy, but it was sweet that he wanted to take me out.
“I promise I’ll break the news to Kieran about us dating. He’s preoccupied with Leslie and college this fall. I’m sure he’ll be happy about it. I was supposed to go somewhere with him tonight, but I’ll see him tomorrow.”
A party? I didn’t want to ask. It was enough that he’d chosen to spend the evening with me instead. But my brother might not have seen it the same way. “Maybe, but it’s my life. I get to make the decisions about who I date.” I scowled and inched away, annoyed by how he and my brother liked to interfere in my love life or lack thereof.
“You decided to go out with me tonight. And I’m hoping you will again.”
I tilted my head so that I could meet his gaze. “Is this more than a one-time thing?”
With his free hand, he cupped the side of my face, his thumb caressing back and forth, sending a buzz of electricity in its wake. He bent so that our lips were millimeters apart, pausing to give me a chance to pull away. But that was not what I wanted, and I closed the separation.
He took control, brushing his lips across mine, teasing. Heat spiraled from the touch, and desire consumed me. I pressed my hands to his chest. His rapidly beating heart beneath my fingertips matched my thundering pulse.
“Kayla,�
�� he whispered, and my heart fluttered.
The naked need in his voice was my undoing. With an irresistible sweep of his tongue, he deepened the short kiss. When he pulled back, our breath mingled.
“Let’s go.” I hadn’t recognized my lust-filled voice. But I’d known I wanted him to come home with me. I’d given him my first kiss, and I’d wanted him to be all my firsts.
I jolted from the memory and back to reality. We would never happen again. There were too many things between us. I hardened myself as much as possible and took a step to escape to the kitchen when he opened his eyes.
One brow lifted, and that sexy smirk he sometimes wore pulled his lips into a crooked grin. “Going somewhere?”
“Coffee,” I managed to get out.
His abs flexed, and I groaned at the sight. A quiet chuckle was his response, and my face flamed. The sheets were flung back, and I went weak in the knees. He wore only tight black boxer briefs. Everything was on display, and I drank him in from a safe distance. He bent and retrieved his jeans, shoved his legs into them, then turned that intense gaze my way.
I was in big trouble.
“Come on.” He grabbed my hand and threaded our fingers together, pulling me from his bedroom and into the kitchen.
When he let go to start the coffee, I climbed onto a barstool. What is going on? He acted as though we’d picked up where he left off when I was in high school. Did something happen last night?
Still processing that we’d slept in the same bed and in his bedroom, I stayed silent. The aroma of coffee saturated the air, and when he slid a mug in front of me, already doctored with cream, I took a fortifying sip. “Thank you.”