Roses and Thorns

by Zeneefa Zaneer

  “I have to go child, the Royal family might assume I refused to go back for the way the prince behaved.”

  “You have all rights to deny going back. He has no rights to throw tantrums on you!” Jameela snarled.

  “Yes, I can break the promise not fearing the king’s punishments but I fear the punishment of my Lord!” Imam’s voice was faint yet his words were firm. Jameela sobbed knowing how stubborn her father could be at times.

  ***

  Although the Imam wished to return back to the castle, he failed. He became ill day by day. Jameela protested once again. She saw how weak her father was. But her sisters disagreed with her.

  “Have you lost your mind? If he doesn’t return everything will be gone. This house, these clothes, these jewels… do you want to return back to that wrecked house?” Her sisters asked. Jameela’s anger burst.

  “How rude you are! You care not for father’s health but worry for this worthless fortune?”

  “We don’t want to go back to that hell-hole!”

  “The real hell is worse than that, sisters, don’t forget!” Jameela warned. The glitter they saw now blinded them. Jameea helped her father sip rom a tumbler of water as he coughed several times.

  ***

  “Father doesn’t want to break his promise, at the same time he can’t keep his promise. He needs rest and care”

  Jameela almost muttered to herself forgetting her sisters were next to her, both with long faces worried to lose those rich materials they were gifted with. Jazeelah sighed. Jhaan’s lips curled with a wicked smile.

  “How about sending someone, instead?” She spilled her idea pretending she was too sad to break her father’s promise. Jazeelah watched at her with mouth wide open. Jameela shook her head disagreeing.

  “Who will fill his position? None is equal to him, everyone else comes looking for him but now…” She couldn’t speak further. The lump in her throat doubled.

  “There is one person who recites equally to him,” Jhaan scrunched her lips to a tight ball. Jameela looked at her eldest sister with a puzzled look.

  “Who?” Jazeelah asked and then reading her sister’s thoughts she looked at her youngest sister. Jameela stiffened as she realized whom they were referring to.

  “No, no, no, no….it cannot be. Don't look at me that way. No! No way!” She stammered and her sisters laughed.

  “Jameela darling, haven’t you heard our beloved father praising you many times for the knowledge you have and the melodious voice you’ve got?” Jhaan said kindly but her heart was burning with anger. How many times father had insulted them for not being wise and keen like Jameela? When father favored her then it is her duty to serve the royal family behalf of him. Jhaan’s wicked mind whispered. Jazeela nodded agreeing to her older sister.

  “You know I would go. But,” Jazeela pretended she wanted to go.

  “You? You’ll faint as soon as you saw the beast like a prince.” Jhaan mocked. Jazeela blushed. Jameela looked down at her toes being unable to think straight. The two sisters shared knowing glances, their lips curled with a sarcastic smile.

  ***

  Before the naive sunrays kissed the earth Jameela planned to begin her journey. She had one intention to head to the castle, to keep her father's promise. Although her sisters heard her, they pretended to be fast asleep. For one more last she looked at her father's withered face. He would not let her go. But someone must go. She has a duty upon her father, Jameela thought. He sacrificed his entire life or them. Her heart ached to leave him when he was weak and fragile. Who would look after him? But has to leave.

  Jameela whispered a prayer continuously as she walked out from her house.

  “Rabbir Hamhuma kama rabbayaani saghirah- My Lord, have mercy on them as they brought me up in childhood”

  The biggest treasure in her life was her father and she had the courage to do anything to make him happier.

  ***

  "I'm here on behalf of my father, your Majesty" Jameela curtsied. The king and queen watched her with surprise. The moment they met her they realized that she was here to fulfill her father’s duty. She was beautiful. Her beauty was laced with courage, loyalty and honesty. The blue hijab did little justice to hide her bravery. Although at first the king wanted to meet the young girls of the pious Imam he had dropped the idea feeling guilty for being selfish. But meeting this young girl he couldn't think of anything else other than to call her as his daughter. A daughter they had longed for years. He turned to meet his queen's gaze. But she was silently admiring the girl. The years he had spent with his wife was enough to read her thoughts. She was thinking exactly what he thought.

  "We hope the Imam would recover soon, In-Sha-Allah." The king politely said. Young Jameela nodded with hope.

  "We appreciate your willingness to provide the service but I fear I cannot accept your request." Jameela and the queen both looked at the king with disappointment. The king chuckled. The handsomeness he had in his youth was still apparent.

  "But...,” Jameela tried to protest. She was not ready to go back home failing to fulfill her father’s wishes.

  "Although I have no doubt about your qualification I cannot accept a young lady like you to fill this position. He is not a mahram to you."

  Understanding the intention behind the refusal Jameela sighed with relief.

  "Then I shall return, Your Highness. But promise me you would pardon my father for his absence In-sha-Allah." She plead.

  "Oh! I almost forgot. This is my father's Quran. He would like to gift it to his student, Your Highness. That is his custom of thanking his students." Jameela knew it sounded stupid yet it was her father's custom to gift his Quran to his student. Knowing there won't be another reason for them to visit the castle again she kept the holy Quran on a table.

  "Why don't you give it to him by yourself?” The king said. Jameela stiffened. She had heard about the wicked prince. “It would be an honor, my child. We shall accompany you." She had to obey the good old king.

  ***

  "How dare he ignores me? I want him right now, I said NOW!" The prince shouted. She angrily stared back into the dark room. Something in her was urging her to walk in and slap his face for his rudeness.

  "The Imam is not well, my son"

  The king said in a calm voice. Jameela jumped on her toes when a boot landed next to her.

  "I command to chop his head!" The prince yelled. The features in King's and Queen's changed. Jameela was hurt and angry to hear him. How could she hear him command capital punishment for an innocent man like her father?

  "How rude you are? No wonder nobody fills this position. I'm extremely sorry, Your Majesty. I may leave now." She snarled. Another boot was thrown at her. She dodged.

  "How dare that worthless being talk to me like that?" She heard him growl. Irritated brows of her went up.

  "Worthless being? None on earth is worthless than a coward like you! You are just as dust as I am in the eyes of Allah!” Jameela wasn’t afraid to shout back. A vase was directed at the doorway. Jameela shielded behind a pillar.

  "A man veiled with darkness can do nothing but throw tantrums on others!" she said.

  "How dare you speak to me like that?" she heard him back.

  "I see none but a coward. Why should I fear?" Jameela snarled back forgetting she was with the King and his Queen and that she was insulting their only heir, their son.

  "I'm afraid I can't hand over this gift to a man who refuses to walk into the light! He fears the light, how can he become the future king of anyone?"

  She said and hugged the holy Quran she was to gift him. The king and the queen feared as they heard the prince’s steady footsteps. They thought it wasn't wise enough to keep the girl there. But before they could move their son walked out after many months. As the first light touched him they saw nothing but the very same handsome young son. He did not limp but his scar in his face was still there. Jameela's eyes widened as he walked closer to her. He looked nothing close
to a beast as her sisters had described him. But yes, he behaved just as one a few seconds ago, her thoughts did not let her be soft.

  "Don’t ever challenge me again!" His index finger was pointed at her. She swallowed a bit of saliva feeling lost. But then, the courage in her sprouted.

  "I meant nothing but the spiritual light!" He watched at her without blinking. She feared to stare him back. The scar in his face warned about the cruelty he had. He was a fine man with a beastly heart.

  "You stay here, with me and recite that book until your father comes!" He commanded. All three of his spectators were shocked.

  "She cannot be your teacher. You are not a mahram to her, son!"

  "I don't care." The young prince said.

  You are not lawful for her...” the king said again.

  "Then make me lawful!” interrupting his father the prince grunted. Jameela's eyes widened with horror. He can't mean it, she tried to console. The young man laughed reading her thoughts. She was too beautiful, wise and good to let her go free, his young and thirsty mind said revengefully.

  'You pay for what you said' He thought wickedly. 'Hiding in darkness is not weakness, she will know! She will know when beauty lives with the beast!'

  ***

  She agreed with the prince for the sake of Allah to save her father. The royal Nikah was held at night at her home. Except for a few close relatives nobody was present at the time their marriage was sanctioned. The prince disliked the daylight and gatherings. Jameela, the duchess was sent to the new castle where the royal bride and groom would dwell. Despite her father’s refusal had agreed to this marriage. She did not want to put her entire family in danger. She knew how miserable and worried her father would be. She tried to smile remembering the smiles of her sisters on her marriage. Her sisters would be blessed with beautiful lives now, she thought happily. Yet something in her pricked her thoughts. How can she live with him? Beauty has nothing to do with love but love is the beauty of a marriage. None of them were in love with each other. A big teardrop rolled down and then followed another. Nothing was around to accompany her except for the lavish palace and the luxurious furniture and ornaments decorated. The autumn wind brushed her petal-like skin. How she desired to be blown with the wind for she knew no marriage could last forever with no love. A marriage becomes stronger with nothing but love. But she forgot it is HE who fills hearts with love, nothing but love.

  “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”

  Al-Quran 30:21

  ***

  "The dinner is served, your Highness." a maid announced. These were new for Jameela. Yesterday she was a pauper and today she is a princess. She shook her head several times. As he had said, she shouldn't have challenged him, she sighed as only if her agony would be knitted in that long sigh.

  "The prince is waiting for you, your highness," The maid said again.

  "I'm not hungry!” she refused to join him for dinner.

  "But princess,”

  "Tell him that I'm not hungry!" She said. Thinking of him made her angry and sad at the same time. The maid looked frightened.

  "Please, go. Let me stay alone!" She said in a low voice. The maid nodded as she closed the door. A few minutes later she heard a thud on her door. Even before she could wipe her tears he broke into the room angrily.

  "How dare you keep me waiting?” Jameela quickly wiped her tears. He would never understand her.

  "I'm not hungry!” she muttered.

  "But I am!” he growled frightening her.

  "But I am not!” She snarled and walked to the window. She had not dreamt for a luxurious life. She had not dreamt for a handsome husband. But all she longed for was a loving companion. The prince looked taken aback. No one ever had ignored him this manner. The anger in him thickened. ‘Was it because she is too beautiful?’ someone in him questioned doubtfully.

  “You are coming with me or you starve the entire night!” He roared.

  “Never mind!” She said in a low voice. He waited for a fraction of a moment and then trotted out.

  ***

  Jameela cried not understanding how everything changed so quickly. She had been a free girl to walk around her small garden, play with her little friends, pet the farm animals and even hum a meaningful song as the birds' chirped. But now everything had changed, limited to four walls of a luxurious palace. Jameela sighed. She desperately wanted to breathe fresh air.

  Early in the morning even before sunrise, soon after Fajr prayers she took a quick walk in the beautiful garden of the palace. The early winter wind kissed her cheek. Jameela hugged herself as she walked exploring the beauty of the garden. The autumn had changed the colors of the leaves, she noticed as the first sun rays touched the ground. But the royal family had found many beautiful flowers which shoot flowers during winter. The buds of Winter Blue flowers looked like fresh new babies. Jameela touched a bud for, she had heard about the Winter Blues of the castle but never had seen them before.

  “SubhanAllah! How beautiful you are? How beautiful is your Creator!” Jameela whispered alone. She took a deep breath as she could feel the fresh fragrance of the bud.

  “How lucky you are, free to enjoy your life. Nobody to scream at you,” Jameela poured all her burdens on tiny flowers as if they could hear her. An enchanting smile curled her lips as the cold wind brushed through her cheeks. She watched the flowers joyfully dancing to the wind. But then she sensed someone’s presence. She saw his shadow towering over her. A cold shiver ran through her spine.

  “Who is it?” She heard the deep voice from her behind. Jameela turned to look at him, her unfriendly husband. What was he doing at this time?

  “Who?” She asked. He inquisitively looked behind her.

  “Who was with you?” She frowned to his question.

  “Nobody was with me, why?”

  “To whom were you talking?” His puzzled question stretched her lips to a beautiful smile. It was bright as the naïve sunrays. He was mesmerized with her charms.

  “What were you expecting? A magical being?” She asked, disappointed.

  “So there was someone. Come out from wherever you are hiding from, coward!” He snarled. She smiled, for a moment she enjoyed watching him being confused.

  “There was none except for these beautiful buds.” She giggled. But his cold gaze confirmed that he was not ready to believe her. The thought made her furious. How can he distrust her?

  “The only one I know who hides like a coward is not a friend at all to have a pleasant chat like that.” Jameela snapped and ran into the castle. She gave no thought for her inner mind which craved for love. He was her husband and she believed that she could love the man she had married. He was harsh but not cruel to her. She understood that he was depressed with all what happened to him. He was once a brave warrior but today he feared to look at his own face. She wanted to tell him that the scars hadn’t changed him much. He looked handsome as he had always been. She wanted to say that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Jameela was able to see the real man in him hidden under the wolf skin. He was proud and wicked, true. But she saw the regretting man hidden under the mask of a beast.

  ***

  The days became nights and nights became days. But none of them accepted each other as husband and wife. She refused to meet him except at the time she was ordered to recite the Quran for him. He was unkind to her. Perhaps he thought that being generous to others would hurt her more. Little he knew that Jameela was happy to see him being polite to his parents and his men. She also threw secret glances over him while she was reciting the verses of the Quran. He looked calm and quiet whenever the Quran recitations were done. He loved to listen to her melodious voice. Never in his life had he spent time listening for these beautiful verses. Unwillingly he agreed that she was a good teacher, even better than her father.

&nb
sp; “Will you mind if I request something?” She asked him one day before she sat to recite. His one thick brow shot up, but he nodded.

  “Your Highness, are you awake? Did you hear me?” She asked one more time.

  “Ask for it!” he said avoiding her sparkling eyes.

  “Can you take ablution, sit beside and do nothing while I recited?” His jaws tightened with anger. She ignored his glare and flipped pages of the Quran. Instead of throwing angry sparks at her, he gulped his annoyance and walked out cursing under his breath. A corner of her mouth shook creating a brief smile.

  "Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them."

  Al-Quran 2:187

  As she recited the Quran verse unintentionally her eyes lifted up to see in his direction. And her eyes met his eyes, calm and friendly that she had never seen in him before.

  ***

  That night Jameela heard someone gently rapping at her door. She opened expecting a maid. But it was him. Despite his wide scar across his face a corner of his mouth slightly twitched surprising her. He had taken extra care to neatly dress. Her lips trembled as she couldn’t ask why he had come seeking for her.

  “Will you join me for dinner?” He was polite. Her eyes widened. Seeing her gesture he tried to smile.

  “Please!” He added knowing she would refuse if he had failed to show respect and care for her.

  ***

  It had been a pleasant evening. An evening she had dreamt to spend. She wasn’t afraid to stand next to him. He was not a beast at all. She loved the moment. She loved the man beside her. Yes, Jameela realized that she had learnt to love the man who now was holding her hand.

  “Jameela, my Princess, will you forgive me and accept me as your husband? Will you love this beast?” He was honest for once in his life. She blushed. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to say she was happy to be his wife. She wanted to say she was in love with him. She wanted to say him to walk into the light and fear not for anything. She wanted to say a loving heart would adore anything the God has created. She wanted to say that she wished to ride together till Jannah, the Paradise. But she couldn’t say. The time she wanted at least to nod, they were disturbed by their herald.