Now and Forever

by Maxwell, Megan

  My German smiles and kisses me.

  We talk about the tree for a while, and I have to laugh at some of the things he says. He’s so traditional about certain things that it’s impossible not to laugh. Seconds later, Flyn is back. He hangs his wishes on the tree and, without once looking at us, goes back to the couch. He picks up the control, and the screeching music begins again. Eric grabs the notebook and pen from the floor.

  “Can I ask for anything?” he asks, his mouth near my ear.

  I know where he’s going.

  I know what he’s trying to say.

  “Yes, Mr. Zimmerman,” I answer sweetly, “but remember we’re all going to read them together on Epiphany.”

  Eric looks at me for a second, and I can only think about sex. Just looking at him arouses me so much, I feel like I’m becoming a sex slave! Finally, my kinky boyfriend nods, steps back, and smiles.

  He has such an effect on me. I love that mixture of desire, tough guy, and sourpuss.

  I watch him write his wishes out at the dining room table. I want to know what they are, but I don’t go near him. I have to wait until the day I’ve decided we’ll read them. When he’s through, he folds them, and I give him the silver ribbon to put them up. After he hangs them, he comes over and sneaks something into the pocket of my hoodie. Then he kisses me on the tip of my nose.

  “I can’t wait until that wish is granted.”

  I grin, and, once more on my tiptoes, I kiss him on the mouth while my heart goes three hundred miles an hour. After a little slap on my butt to let me know he wants me, Eric goes to sit on the couch next to his nephew. I take the small box he’s dropped in my pocket, open it, pull out the handwritten note, and read it.

  My wish is to have you nude in my bed tonight so we can use your gift.

  I’m curious. Inside the box, there’s something metallic with a green rock. It’s pretty cute. What could it be for? And then I see the commercially printed note that says, “Rosebud anal ring.”

  Well . . . I had no idea there were such things as anal rings! I start to laugh.

  I blush and keep reading: “Surgical steel/Swarovski crystal. Ideal for decorating the anus and stimulating the anal zone.”

  My God!

  I’m blushing, when I realize Eric is looking at me. I can tell he’s amused. I give him a thumbs-up, and we both laugh. It’s going to be a great night!

  After dinner, I suggest we play a game of Monopoly on the Wii. Turn by turn, we get more into it. We let Flyn win, and he goes to bed, overcome with satisfaction. Alone with Eric in the living room, I can see how impatient he is now. I kiss him and whisper in his ear.

  “I want you in the room in five minutes.”

  “I’ll be there in two.”

  “Even better!”

  I run up the stairs, go to our room, pull back the bedcovers, and get undressed. I place the anal ring next to the lubricant on the pillow. There’s no time for anything else. The door opens, and my heart accelerates. Such exultation. Eric comes in and closes the door, and his eyes are already on me. He pulls his gray undershirt over his head as he comes toward the bed.

  “Your wish is waiting for you however you want it.”

  “Perfect,” he responds hoarsely.

  He looks at me like a hungry wolf. I see him glance quickly at the anal ring. Desire is consuming me. He throws the undershirt on the floor and goes to the foot of the bed.

  “Bend your knees and open your legs.”

  Such heat! I do as he says and realize I’m having trouble breathing. Eric climbs onto the bed and brings his mouth to my inner thighs. He kisses them softly, and I feel like I’m melting. With his usual eroticism, he continues raining kisses on me; then he kisses my hip, then my navel, then one of my breasts, and then he positions his mouth over mine and looks straight at me. “Tell me what you want,” he whispers, his voice powerfully charged.

  My vagina flexes, and my stomach melts.

  Eric sucks my upper lip, and then my lower lip, and before kissing me, he gives me one of those typical nibbles that make me open my mouth so it’s easier for him to take me. I adore his kisses. I love how demanding he is. I love how he touches me. I adore him.

  Once the kiss is over, he looks at me, clearly waiting for me to say something. Well aware of what I’m asking, I whisper, “Devour me.”

  He continues to scatter kisses all over my body. When he kisses my mound, he gently touches my tattoo.

  “Use your fingers to open yourself up for me. Close your eyes and fantasize. Offer yourself like you do when we’re with other people.”

  His words make me hot, and my hands go to my vagina. I take my labia in hand, open and expose myself completely to him, dying for him to ravage me while I imagine it’s not just him and me in this room. Without hesitation, his tongue dives for my clitoris—oh yes! Yes! And the fire in me begins to consume me.

  The scorching heat of my fantasies and the commotion Eric causes make me weak. I’m nude and on the bed, and the eager lashing of his tongue drives me crazy as his hands go up and grab my ass. He maneuvers over to my hips so he has greater accessibility to me.

  “Offer yourself, Jude.” Alive, active, provoked, and shaken by what I’m imagining and what he’s saying, I push my wet sex toward his mouth. I’m shameless and press against him and gladly offer myself, wanting to enjoy and be enjoyed. He quickly sucks me, his teeth on my clitoris, and I gasp and want more and more.

  My skin burns as a savage frenzy takes over my body. I twist with each tap of his tongue and demand more.

  My swollen clitoris is about to burst, and he seems to love that. When he raises his head and looks at me with his mouth wet from my juices, I swiftly sit up and kiss him. His taste is my taste. My taste is his taste.

  “Fuck me,” I demand.

  Eric bites my chin and tops me. He pushes me down brusquely, and this time I fall to the side of the bed as he parts my legs anew. He slaps my ass and continues his devastating assault. I feel something wet on my asshole, and I quickly realize it’s the lubricant. Eric stimulates me with his fingers, and an instant later he introduces my gift, the anal ring.

  “Beautiful,” I hear him say as he kisses my butt cheeks.

  I can’t see his face from my position, but from his breathing and the sound of his voice, I can tell he likes what he’s doing. For a few minutes, I feel my anal walls contract. What an incredible sensation! He then inserts one finger followed by another into my vagina.

  “Look at me, Jude.”

  With my head hanging off the side of the bed, I turn my eyes toward him.

  “The ring is beautiful, but your ass is spectacular.”

  That makes me laugh.

  “I prefer flesh to surgical steel.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  I nod and close my eyes.

  “Would you like for me and another person to do things to your body?”

  When I nod again, his fingers plow deeper into me. What madness!

  “Are you sure, sweetheart?” he says, agitated.

  “Yes,” I say, panting.

  His fingers go in and out of me over and over as he uses his other hand to tighten the anal ring and I become more and more inflamed. I moan and, opening my eyes, see Eric staring at me.

  “Soon two of us will fuck you, sweetheart . . . first one, then the other, and then both of us. I will hold you in my arms and part your thighs. I’ll let someone else fuck you as I watch, but I’ll let you come only for me, understood?”

  “Yes . . . yes . . . ,” I say, breathing heavily, enraptured by what he’s saying.

  Eric grins and I spasm. My sex tightens, and his fingers take note. He quickly substitutes his penis for his fingers, and I have to contain a scream as his impressive erection penetrates me.

  With expert hands, he takes me by the waist and lifts me. He sits me on top of him on the bed and squeezes me against him.

  “We’ll be three next time.”

  Between breaths, I nod.

&nbs
p; “Yes . . . yes . . . yes . . . yes.”

  Eric kisses me. I love it when he’s panting like this.

  “Move, sweetheart.”

  My hips follow a deep, slow beat. I feel like I’m going to explode. The friction from the anal toy is tremendous. We keep our eyes on each other as I hammer him over and over.

  “Kiss me,” I ask him.

  My Iceman appeases me, and I pick up the pace, driving him crazy. I have him go in and out of me until he finally leaps up. In one quick movement, he turns me over on the bed and has me on all fours.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  Eric doesn’t answer. He sticks his long, firm penis in my vagina and thrusts a couple of times, making me howl.

  “I want your beautiful ass, my love. May I?”

  Heat . . . so much heat. Whipped up, I hold up my hand with his ring.

  “I’m all yours.”

  He takes the anal ring out and uses more lubricant. I’m impatient and desirous of his sex. I want more. I need more. Seeing my restlessness, Eric smooths more lubricant on his penis and bites me on the ribs. Eric knows what he’s doing, and he slowly introduces his dick into me. I dilate. My mind goes blank, and I can’t help myself when he impales me.

  “Harder . . . harder, Eric.”

  But he doesn’t pay any attention to me. He doesn’t want to hurt me. He goes slowly, very slowly, and then, when he’s completely inside me, he leans over and covers my back, holding me with so much love.

  “God, sweetheart, you’re so snug!”

  I acclimate to the new situation, lucky to feel such bliss as he goes in, and I’m on fire; I’m burning up. I surrender and enjoy all this. I feel naughty; to have such hot sex with Eric makes me feel a little dirty. Completely uninhibited, I’m on all fours in front of him, desperate for him to fuck me.

  “Eric . . . I like this,” I say as I push back. I push my ass back on his body, wanting him to go deeper.

  Our game goes on for several more minutes. He enters me and grabs me by the waist, and I welcome him.

  Soon my Iceman can’t contain himself anymore, and his wild side takes over, slashing deeper and deeper into me until I fall face-first into the bed. I scream into the mattress, and my German knows I’ve reached the peak of my excitement. That’s when he digs his fingers into my hips and launches into my willing ass with incredible force.

  “More . . . more, Eric . . . ,” I plead.

  The satisfaction and desire he sees in me seem to overcome him, and, when he apparently can’t take it anymore, he groans and lets himself fall against my body.

  We stay like that for a few seconds. Together, hot and still excited. Sex between us is electrifying, and we love it. Moments later, Eric pulls out, and we drop happily on the bed, tired and slick with sweat.

  “God, sweetheart! You’re going to kill me.”

  That makes me laugh. I hug him and he hugs me back. Outside, it’s snowing. Eric gets up.

  “Let’s wash up and get dressed, sweetheart.”

  “Dressed?”

  “You know, clothes. Pajamas or something like that?”

  “Why?” I ask. I want to keep playing.

  But Eric looks to be in a bit of a hurry.

  “C’mon, your underwear’s on the nightstand,” he says.

  I want to complain, but I decide against it. I get my underwear and my pj’s. But I don’t want to get dressed. I feel like we were just getting started!

  When he sees the look on my face, Eric kisses me as he picks up the anal ring and the lubricant and puts them away. He gets up, and, just as he’s taking me in his arms, the door of the bedroom flies open. Standing there in his striped pajamas is a sleepy Flyn, his mouth agape. I quickly cover myself with my clothes.

  “Don’t you know how to knock?” I snarl.

  For the first time ever, the boy doesn’t know what to say.

  “Flyn, we’ll be right back,” says Eric.

  We rush to the bathroom. I look at him, waiting for an explanation for this sudden apparition.

  “He’s been scared of thunder since he was little, but don’t tell him I told you.” He kisses me. “I knew he was going to come in as soon as I heard the thunder. He always does.”

  Now I’m the one who kisses him. God, I love how he tastes! I slowly pull away from his mouth.

  “Does he always come to your bed?”

  “Always,” he affirms.

  I love his face. My German is so beautiful!

  More thunder makes us come back down to reality. He quickly washes and dries himself, puts on his underwear, and starts to go.

  “Don’t be long, sweetheart,” he says. I wash myself, put on my pj’s, look in the mirror, and can’t help but smile as I try to comb out my tangled hair. I wonder what’s happening to Susto. Poor thing—it’s storming so bad outside, and he’s out on the street.

  I remember that when I was a kid, I had the same reaction as Flyn. I was scared of thunder; I was scared of those hellish noises that made me think about ugly demons with long nails circling the skies to kidnap kids. I spent a lot of nights sleeping in my parents’ bed until my mother, patiently and with a little extra help, finally managed to get me over the fear.

  When I come out of the bathroom, I find Eric on the bed, chatting with Flyn. When he sees me, the boy follows me with his gaze. I get into bed with them.

  “Does she have to sleep with us?” the grumpy little boy asks his uncle.

  Eric nods.

  “Oh yes! I’m terrified of storms and especially of thunder. I’m curious: Do you like dogs?”

  “No,” they answer in unison.

  “They’re dirty; they bite; they smell bad; and they have fleas,” says Flyn.

  I’m taken aback. “You’re wrong, Flyn. Dogs don’t always bite, and, of course, they don’t always smell bad or have fleas if they’re well cared for.”

  “We’ve never had animals in this house,” says Eric.

  “Well, that’s too bad,” I whisper. “Having animals in the house gives you another perspective on life, especially if you’re a kid. Honestly, I think it would do you two a world of good if you had a pet.”

  “No way,” says Eric.

  “Leo’s dog bit me, and it hurt,” says the boy.

  “You were bitten by a dog?”

  The boy nods, lifts the sleeve of his pj’s, and shows me a mark on his arm. I file that and try to imagine the fear of animals he must have. I have to help him overcome it.

  “Not all dogs bite, Flyn,” I say as warmly as I can.

  “I don’t want a dog,” he insists.

  I don’t say anything else. I lie on my side and look at Eric. Flyn is in the middle, and he quickly turns his back to me. Of course! With his eyes, Eric asks for my forgiveness, and I wink at him. Minutes later, my boyfriend turns off the light. And, even in the darkness, I know he’s smiling and looking at me. I know it.

  18

  It’s the night before Epiphany, and we’ll be having dinner at Eric’s mother’s house. During these days, I’ve seen my German work from home, but he hasn’t said anything about going to the office. I want to see it, but I would rather the idea of my going to the office come from him.

  Flyn still won’t give me a break. Everything I do bothers him, and that means Eric and I rub each other the wrong way every once in a while. But I’ll say this: I recognize it’s Eric who always makes the adjustment so the argument won’t get out of hand. He knows the boy isn’t being very nice, and he tries to be understanding.

  My relationship with Susto progresses accordingly. He doesn’t run away anymore when he sees me. We’ve become friends. He’s realized I can be trusted, and he lets me touch him. He has a terrible cough that scares me. You can see on his face he has a good heart, and every time I sneak out to remake his little house and give him food, the poor thing thanks me the way he knows best: by licking me, wagging his tail, and doing all sorts of pirouettes.

  When we get to Sonia’s house in the evening, Marta
, Eric’s sister, welcomes us with a huge smile.

  “It’s so good you’re here!”

  Eric grimaces. He doesn’t like these little parties at his mother’s house, but he knows he can’t skip them. He does it for Flyn, not for himself. Eric introduces me as his girlfriend to the other people in the living room. I see the pride in his eyes and notice how possessively he holds on to me.

  When he starts talking business with several other men just a few minutes later, I decide to look for Marta. Just as I step away, a young man greets me.

  “Hi, I’m Jurgen. You’re Judith, right? I’m Eric’s cousin.” And then, in a whisper, he adds, “The one who races motocross.”

  My face brightens with delight, and I end up in a conversation with him. He tells me about various places where people practice the sport, and I promise to check them out. I’m looking forward to riding Hannah’s bike. It was Sonia who told him I practice motocross, and he is very enthusiastic. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Eric watching me and probably trying to figure out what we’re talking about. In two seconds flat, he’s at my side.

  “Jurgen, it’s been so long since I last saw you!” Eric says as he slides his arm around my waist.

  The cousins smile.

  “Could it be because you don’t let yourself be seen very much?”

  Eric nods. “I’ve been very busy.”

  Jurgen doesn’t mention motocross again, and almost immediately they begin to engage in a very boring conversation. Once more, I decide to look for Marta. I find her smoking in the kitchen.

  She offers me a cigarette. I don’t usually smoke, but I always want to around her, and so I take one.

  Standing there, in our glamorous dresses, the two of us smoke as we talk.

  “How’s it going with Flyn?”

  “Uff, he’s declared war,” I say.

  “If it gives you any comfort,” she says, leaning her head toward me and whispering, “he’s declared war on all women.”

  “But why?”

  “According to the psychologist, it’s because of losing his mother,” she says, smiling. “Flyn thinks women are circumstantial and that we come and go in his life. That’s why he tries not to show any feelings toward us. He’s the same with Mother and me. He never shows us any affection, and, whenever possible, he rejects us. But, well, we’ve gotten used to it. The person he loves above everyone else is Eric. He seems to feel a special love for him; there are times I don’t always think it’s healthy.”