Filthy Beautiful Forever

by Kendall Ryan

  After the pedicures we move to the nail stations to have our hands done. Through the whole thing, the conversation seems to center on children and family. I’m not sure who’s guiding the conversation, as it seems to flow naturally, but the topic fills me with both hope and longing. I can’t help but remember how good Collins was with his younger brothers. It fills me with a happy thought for our future.

  Just as we’re finishing up drying our nails, the door opens and in walks a man, his arms loaded with long stem, red roses. “Mia Monroe,” he says over his bundle. Shocked I look at Kylie and Sophie. Collins knew I would be out with them today, but I never told him which salon we were going to. Sophie looks sufficiently guilty. She must have clued him in.

  With difficulty I accept the bundle of flowers, finding a card inside.

  I’ve got something special planned for tonight. Go with Sophie to Colton’s to get ready. I’ll meet you there later.

  -Collins

  I look up at Sophie and notice that the guilt on her face has grown.

  “How long have you known about this?” I ask her.

  “I plead the fifth,” she says, laughing.

  I narrow my eyes at her. “Do you know what he has planned?”

  “It’s a surprise. And I’m pregnant, so don’t get any ideas about trying to torture it out of me.” She cradles her stomach with one arm.

  I laugh.

  We say goodbye to Kylie who has to pick up Max from a playdate, then the delivery guy helps me load the roses into my car and I follow Sophie over to her and Colton’s house.

  We pull into the circle drive up front and head inside and up to the second floor. She leads me into a guest suite and has me take a seat at the dressing table. As I settle in I can’t help but get excited watching Sophie rush about. She darts into the small walk-in closet, only to reemerge with a bottle of champagne in one hand and a silk, lavender dress hanging over the other.

  “Put this on,” she says, hanging the dress on the closet door, then turning her attention to the bottle of champagne.

  The dress is beautiful. It’s long and flowing, and yet the cut is simple. I skim my fingers along the fabric. It’s so smooth, and my absolute favorite shade of purple. I pull off my tank top and shorts and pull the dress on, noticing as I zip it up that it fits like a glove.

  “How does he know my dress size?” I ask as I step in front of the mirror, admiring how well it hugs my every curve.

  Sophie hands me a glass of champagne, and looks with me at my reflection in the mirror. A single strap wraps around my neck, allowing for a modest v-neck front. The back is low, looping down almost to my waistline.

  “Perfect,” Sophie says. “It’s the perfect Mia dress.”

  She’s right. I turn in the mirror, admiring myself. “How did he know?”

  There’s a knock at the door, and Sophie winks at me before rushing to answer it.

  I continue to stare at my reflection in the mirror, still amazed at how much I love the dress with its long flowing skirt.

  “You can set up over here.” Sophie’s voice pulls my attention to where she’s letting in two women I’ve never seen before who are loaded up with cases that look like toolboxes.

  “What is this?” I ask. Now I know Collins has gone overboard.

  “This is Nicole and Stella. They’re doing your hair and makeup for tonight.”

  My mouth drops open. “I don’t believe it,” I say. “Collins has lost it. I know how to do my own makeup and hair.”

  “Humor him tonight. He said he wanted to pamper you this once. Just let him have his way.” Sophie says.

  I smile. “I guess I don’t have a choice. What Collins wants, Collins gets.” I sit down in an exaggerated huff at the dressing table. Yet it’s hard not to sit up straight and feel the rush of excitement that Collins put all this thought and care into something for me.

  I take a sip of my champagne and watch as the stylist sets up her equipment around me.

  “Right, I’ll see you in a bit,” Sophie says by the door.

  “Where are you going?” I ask.

  “I have to get ready, too.” She smiles and then slips out, shutting the door behind her.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Collins

  I’m sitting in Colton's library, having a drink with my brothers at a time I thought would be filled with anticipation. Instead, I find our conversation is giving me a headache. I swirl the liquor in my glass, wondering if I’m making a mistake. Everything about this has felt right, but their reactions are making me question myself.

  “So you've planned an entire wedding, and you never even asked her to marry you?” Pace asks, chuckling at me from behind his fist, like this is the goddamn funniest thing he’s ever heard.

  Colton stares at me, wide-eyed in a rare display of bewilderment, waiting for me to answer. As if he hasn’t been here with me the last few weeks helping me plan the whole damn thing.

  “Basically,” I say. I'd asked her twenty years ago. That counts, right? I orchestrated her outing with the girls, and have caterers’ and designers downstairs readying Colton’s house as we speak.

  “You’ve gone all bat-shit crazy on us, haven’t you,” Colton says, snapping out of his stony silence.

  “I gave her my word when we were ten years old. I'm just making good on my promise,” I say.

  “Is she going to freak out?” Pace asks.

  “I don't know.” I don’t think so. I guess some part of me knew from the day she showed up on my front porch—looking small and scared—that inviting her in would lead to this. Her in a wedding dress. Me in a tux. My brothers at my side. “Text Sophie, ask how it's going upstairs,” I say to Colton.

  Colton looks down at his phone and chuckles.

  “What?” I ask, my stomach turning with nerves for the first time since I planned all this.

  “Sophie says the hardest part is that the pregnancy has made her so emotional, she keeps crying, but so far Mia doesn’t suspect anything. She says Mia is going to make a beautiful bride.”

  I have no response, because when I picture Mia in that custom-made silk dress, my mouth gets dry and a lump forms in my throat. I’d taken the idea from The Gremlin Files. Somehow, I knew she had to get married in that dress. That lavender silk number is exactly what she’s supposed to be wearing today, not some over-done white, poufy thing that I can’t get off of her later.

  “So you're not nervous at all?” Pace asks.

  I take stock of how I feel. Nervous doesn’t describe it. I’m excited. And ready. “Nope,” I answer.

  Colton’s phone chimes and he looks down at the screen. “Sophie says Mia’s ready.”

  The gravity of the moment hits me and I fight off a wave of emotion. I cover a few last minute details with my brothers, discussing the rings with them when a knock at the door surprises us.

  Colton answers it, and I see it’s my assistant.

  “All the guests are here and seated on the beach, sir,” she says.

  “It’s go time,” Pace says and claps me on the back.

  “You ready for this, brother?” Colton asks.

  “Fuck yeah,” I say, grinning like a lovesick fool.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Mia

  The stylist pulls my hair back in a wavy updo, allowing several loose curls to escape, framing my face. Then she weaves in fresh violets, which match the dress perfectly. The makeup artist takes her time, and when she’s finally done, I stand in front of the wardrobe’s full-length mirror in shock. My hair, the dress, and my face all blend together so smoothly. I’m not normally one to over think how I look, but I have to admit the woman I see looking back at me is beautiful.

  As if on cue, Sophie comes to collect me as soon as my makeover is finished. When she enters the room, I instantly know something is up. She’s wearing a deep purple satin dress, and her hair and makeup has been professionally done as well.

  “Serious double date,” I say.

  She nods an
d smiles through a faintly blushing face. “Come on, the guys are waiting.”

  I look around the room realizing I’m missing one thing. “I don’t have any shoes that will go with this.”

  Sophie’s eyes widen and she bites her lip. “What size shoe do you wear?”

  “Eight,” I say.

  “You certainly won’t fit into my size sevens. It’s okay, you can just wear what you came in,” her voice drops as her eyes find my tired flip flops in the corner of the room where I’d kicked them off.

  “No. It’s fine,” I say and step into them. “This dress is long enough that no one will see.” I pull my feet under the dress then and show her.

  Sophie considers for a moment, then nods. She hooks her arm through mine and guides me downstairs. I assume we’ll be heading out front to be picked up by the guys, but she makes an abrupt turn towards the back of the house. Sophie is strangely silent, and won’t look me in the eye. When she wipes a tear from her cheek I don’t know what to think.

  Colton’s house is on the ocean, the beach is literally in his back yard. We step out the back to an amazing view of the Pacific. Deep blue water that sparkles from the sun. I have absolutely no idea why Collins would want me to get this dressed up to go run around in the sand, but at least I know why there were no shoes waiting for me.

  Kylie meets us at the bottom of the steps. She’s wearing a dress that matches Sophie’s, and holds a huge bundle of lavender silk in her arms.

  My skin prickles with an excited chill, and I notice my heart is fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings. Somehow, my body has figured out what’s going on, but it’s not bothered to tell me. My legs have forgotten how to walk, and Sophie has to help me down the path to the beach.

  It’s that magical time of day, just before sunset, and rows of chairs fill the beach. The chairs are filled with people all facing Collins, who stands at an altar, flanked by his brothers. When we reach a spot several yards from the ocean, my feet stop again.

  “What is this?” I ask, even though I’m pretty sure my slow brain has finally figured it out.

  “It’s your wedding,” Sophie says. She’s crying as she and Kylie work to unravel the large bundle of fabric Kylie’s been cradling. It is, of course, the train for my dress. My wedding dress. As they work to attach the train a wave of emotion hits me. I cover my mouth with my hands, unable to speak.

  “Don’t forget to breathe, sweetie,” Kylie says.

  Which is when I notice that, with this surprise, Collins has quite literally taken my breath away.

  I manage to pull in a shaky breath while I stand there looking down the aisle at Collins who’s eyes have found me and is gazing back. He’s traded in the T-shirt and jeans from this morning and now wears a black tuxedo, which even from this distance makes him look so handsome that I ache to be alone with him.

  Sophie slides a piece of paper into my hand and my fingers shake as I unfold it and see that it’s a note from Collins.

  Gremlin,

  Some part of me has known all along that you are the one I wanted to spend the rest of forever with. From the first day we met, I’ve known that you are the one for me. The five-year-old me knew it. The ten-year-old me—the one who thought all girls were gross—knew it.

  Every time you smile, I can’t help but feel happy with you. The sound of your laughter is a song that has the power to lift my spirit. Your kind soul has guided me through so much.

  The day you left when we were teenagers, I thought my life was over, and for a long time, it seemed it was. When you came crashing back into my world, you shook things up so much, at first I didn’t know what to think, but now I know what you were doing. You showed me how to live again.

  I’m sorry it took so long for the idiot thirty-year-old me to figure it out. But this whole time you’ve had my heart, and I hope on this day you’ll say yes and agree share your life with me.

  I love you. I always have, and always will.

  My first. My last. Be mine forever?

  -Collins

  Halfway through reading the letter my eyes have already blurred with tears.

  “Are you okay?” Kylie asks.

  In an attempt to process everything that’s happening, I blankly nod.

  “Good, because it’s time.” Kylie squeezes my hand before turning and walking down the aisle.

  Sophie gives me a hug and then heads down the aisle herself, followed shortly by Max who carries a small ring bearer pillow. I look into the crowd and see my parents and even Leila and her husband are here. Another wave of joy hits me as I realize he’s also done this. He’s flown them here just for me. My mom’s eyes find mine, and she smiles so big, I feel it deep inside me. It’s been three months since I’ve seen her, and it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to break out into a huge grin and wave frantically at her.

  When Max reaches the front, soft music begins, and the crowd stands up, turning to face me. I realize it’s my turn, and I’m struck with a wave of sheer panic. I can’t believe I really am getting married. Today. Conflicting emotions rush through me. I had no idea this morning that I would be standing here about to get married. A bundle of nerves twists inside me, and I pull in another shaky breath, praying that I don’t faint. Oh God, I don’t know if I can do this. Everyone is watching me, waiting to see what I’m going to do.

  I look up, and when I lock eyes with Collins, the strength and love in his gaze warms me, and my body relaxes. I know this is the right thing. My feet find their purpose, I kick off the flip-flops and I take my first step down the aisle, relishing the feel of sun-warmed sand beneath my feet. The eyes of the crowd are on me, but I’m unable to take my eyes off him—the only man I’ve ever loved.

  When I meet him at the altar, he takes my hands in his and leans in close. The sound of the crashing waves nearby means if we talk softly enough, our guests won’t hear us, and gives us a moment of privacy.

  “Is this okay?” he whispers, wiping a tear from my cheek with his thumb.

  “It’s better than I could have ever imagined.” My voice is quiet and a bit shaky, and my vision is blurring again with tears. Collins’ eyes fill with concern. I smile through the tears, and try to wipe them away, but it’s no use, so I laugh.

  At that, Collins’ face brightens and he smiles. And I can see from the look in his eyes that he truly does adore me, and there’s no place he would rather be.

  The official’s words are perfect, and I’m surprised to hear him telling the story of us, and the collective chuckle from the guests when he tells them we’ve been engaged for twenty years. I manage to get my tears mostly under control about halfway through the ceremony, so that when it’s time for us to kiss, I’m not a total mess. Collins bends down, taking me in his arms, and I reach my hands around his neck. He presses the sweetest kiss against my lips. It’s gentle, slow, and he draws it out, teasing me with little licks from his tongue. His hand brushes the bare skin of my back and I feel him harden against my stomach. It strikes me immediately that fifty or so of our closest friends are watching. We both go rigid and then begin laughing mid kiss, which seems to help his situation. He looks down at me through hooded eyes though and grumbles, “We’ll take care of that later,” in a voice low enough that only I can hear.

  After the wedding, we take pictures near the surf and then join our guests under a big white tent on the beach behind Colton’s house. Collins has thought of everything. There’s a beautiful, multi-tier cake with purple flowers, a band playing soft jazz, and, the best part, all of our friends and family.

  I find Leila on the dance floor, and join her.

  “I’m so glad you came.” I pull her in for a hug.

  “You look so happy,” she says, hugging me back “I’m glad you listened to me.”

  I’m not sure if she’s talking about our her initial drunken advice that I should come out here in the first place, or her later advice when she encouraged me to stay, but I’m glad I listened to Leila—both times—and I’m glad
she was right.

  “I told you, you were right,” I say.

  She smiles, I know it’s something she’s been waiting to hear ever since she got here, but her smile also says she’s happy for me.

  A slow song comes on, and Collins appears at my side and pulls me to him. He’s not afraid to dance. At least not with me. We slow dance simply, my arms around his neck and his resting at my waist. Our bodies know each other, so even if we don’t know the song, we sway together perfectly.

  I feel blessed that I’m able to share the best day of my life with all our loved ones. And I know I’m the luckiest woman alive because the man of my dreams has put this all together for me.

  As we dance, my left hand is resting on his shoulder and I admire the way the diamond ring on my finger catches the light. “I can’t believe you did all this,” I say. “And kept it all a secret.”

  “My brothers thought I was a little crazy planning all of this without officially asking you first.”

  “It was insane.” I press my lips to his. “But in the very best way.”

  “I love you, Mia,” he says, his voice uncharacteristically thick with emotion.

  “I love you, too. Always have,” I admit.

  Through the reception Collins doesn’t leave my side. His eyes and hands find their way all over my dress, and it’s obvious his desire to be alone with me rivals my desire to be with him.

  Soon enough Collins announces that it is time for us to leave. As much as I’ve enjoyed the celebration with everyone, I can’t wait to get Collins alone and out of that sexy as hell tux. Our guests throw rice as Collins helps me into the waiting limo. He’s refused to tell me anything about our honeymoon other than that we’re having one. He also assures me that he’s okayed the time off with my employer. The information wins him yet another kiss from me. He has truly thought of everything.

  As we near our destination it becomes clear that he can no longer hide his plans from me. We pull into the marina and Collins helps me out, guiding me towards his boat, The Gremlin. As we near the water, I come to a realization and stop. “We don’t have any luggage. I didn’t pack,” I say.