by Shae Banks
“I’m measuring your reactions.”
I snorted. “Why?”
“So I know where to start,” he answered seriously.
I didn’t respond, but studied another box, then opened it and took the small finger sized vibrator from the packaging. “I have one of these.”
He ignored my embarrassment. “No point starting there then, is there?” I flicked my eyes his way and heard him huff a quiet laugh. “What about that one?”
I looked at the big purple dildo on the bed and shook my head, checking out another box. “Why the hell have you bought a sports massager?”
His eyes brightened. “There. We start there.”
I turned on the bed and looked at him. “With this?”
He nodded his head once. “And a few other things, but yeah.”
I put down the bag I was holding a picked up another. “Such as?”
He joined me, taking the bag from me. “You were always big on touch.”
I pulled in my brows. “You remember that?”
“I remember everything,” he said with a saucy smile followed by a wink.
I gave him my best ‘really?’ look.
With a flourish, he pulled what looked like an Ostrich feather out of the bag and ran it under my nose. I pulled away, and plucked it from his fingers, laughing. It faded when I saw what was in his hand next. “Okay…”
He turned the small device over, displaying a slowly turning wheel of cruel looking spikes attached to a long silver handle. “Hold out your hand.”
I shook my head and inched away. “It’ll hurt.”
“It won’t hurt.”
“It’s got massive spikes on it!” I hissed, staring at it.
He grasped my hand and held it firmly, then ran the thing up my palm. “Spikes that don’t hurt.”
I pursed my lips. “All right. So, what do we do, lay this lot out like a big game of Operation or assign each of them a number and roll a dice?”
I watched him put the wheel thing in a small case, drop it on the bed, then reach into the bag again. “Well. I expect you’ll fidget quite a bit, so we’ll need to use something along these lines,” he responded while pointing to the box in his hand.
I frowned. There was a picture of a woman, a slim blonde who looked beautiful in her red lacy lingerie, positioned on a bed with her wrists secured to her thighs. She didn’t look distressed, but the thought of being tied down wasn’t something that excited me.
“It won’t stop you from moving, just keeps you from ruining your own orgasms.”
I didn’t quite understand. I think my expression said it all.
“It’s only Velcro, so it comes right off,” he explained. “But we’ll leave that alone for now and work up to it, okay?”
He stuffed it back in the bag and dropped it on the floor. I laughed.
He looked at me with a stupid grin. “What?”
“You’re going all out on the kinky fuckery, aren’t you?”
His snort of laughter made me smile. “This isn’t kinky fuckery. This is making it as good as I can get it for you.”
“But what’s in it for you?” It was a genuine question. I didn’t see what he could be getting out of any of this, it was all designed to get me going.
“I get to be the one who gets you there. That’s all I want. A happy, fulfilled you. Preferably screaming my name.”
I looked back down at the massager and chewed the inside of my bottom lip.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
With everything being brand new, it all needed to be cleaned, charged, and fitted with batteries. It kind of killed any spontaneity the first time.
I had to choose how to go about it. It was my decision to make, he’d made that perfectly clear. After a few moments, I took a deep breath and said, “I’m thinking we better charge this thing.”
The grin on his face was ridiculous.
The butterflies that burst into flight in my stomach were worse.
The rest of the day was spent on a date. A real one.
He drove us out to a strip mall where we had a light lunch of sausage rolls and coffee while sitting in the car. I didn’t say it, but I loved every second. Not because I didn’t appreciate the dinners in restaurants, but because it was normal. It was something we would have done before, and it just felt like us.
We decided on a movie since the cinema was close. Jason chose a spoof thriller, and I’d laughed until I cried. Jase seemed relieved I enjoyed the movie, and when I asked him why, he said, “You seemed nervous going in.”
We walked hand in hand across the retail park to his car. Just before we reached the crosswalk, Jase pulled me back and a large Land Rover roared past. I looked up in alarm and flinched back further, sucking in a sharp breath. The smell of the exhaust made my stomach churn, and my limbs locked up.
“Sh… fucking idiot,” Jason said, not too quietly, as he looked down at me and squeezed my trembling hand. Eyes searching mine with concern, he asked, “You okay?”
Heart pounding in my chest I held my breath, trying not to get another wave of exhaust fumes, and blinked back tears. “Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.”
He pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me protectively. He didn’t say anything else, didn’t ask any more questions, instead he held me until I’d gotten over the shock.
“I’m okay,” I murmured, pulling away. It seemed like such an overreaction, and to have it in front of him was embarrassing. “Shall we just…”
I let him lead me across the street, but just before I got into the car, I looked back. The Land Rover that had almost run me over was parked behind us. It was facing us, and while I could see someone was sitting inside, I couldn’t see their face. They weren’t getting out, though. They were just sitting there, waiting. Watching.
Feeling even more uneasy, I turned away and moved into the safety of his car.
I didn’t mention the vehicle or its occupant, but I was beginning to feel nauseous. I couldn’t excuse it all away as being shaken after the near miss on the road.
“What’s up?” he questioned, apparently oblivious to the Land Rover.
I shrugged. “Thanks for… well you know.”
He leaned in close and murmured, “It’s sort of why I’m here,” and started his car.
I immediately scanned the car park, looking for the black car, but it wasn’t there. I still felt a bit uneasy.
“What shall we do now?” he enquired as he drove through the car park.
I shrugged. “I could always buy you dinner.”
“Do I get to choose where we eat?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered, glancing up at him. “Anywhere you like.”
“Hmm… all right. No complaining when we get there, though…”
“That’s fine,” I said, turning on the radio. “My treat.”
He drove a couple of miles across the outskirts of the city, pulling into another strip mall and parking outside an Italian chain restaurant.
“You want to eat here?”
“What’s wrong with it?”
I shrugged. “Just not your usual choice.”
He leaned over, brushing my hair behind my ear and letting his lips graze the lobe. “I’m not trying to impress you, now.”
Ignoring the chill that ran over my shoulders, I turned my face to him. “Really?”
“Not with food, anyway.”
The way he winked at me was both hilarious and seductive. I wanted to laugh, but there was a seriousness to his tone that hinted at what was to come when we got back to his hotel room.
I wet my lips, and he kissed them. “And I can’t do that on an empty stomach.”
I shook my head at him and laughed. “Well, we better go in. I don’t want you passing out on me.”
There was something in the way he looked at me which reminded me of the night of our school leavers party. Like I was the only person in the world he could love. I’d never forgotten it. He looked happy, the same sor
t of happy I felt when we were together. We sat there for a few moments, just looking at each other, and I realized I could love him. I did love him. I honestly felt it. What surprised me was that it didn’t scare me, but I did feel a bit stupid that I hadn’t realized it before.
“Jase?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we… go in?”
He kissed me again then got out of the car. I followed, and he walked around his car, taking me by the waist to lead me into the restaurant.
The girl who showed us to our table seemed to really like Jase. I found her fawning uncomfortable, especially when she made a point of touching his shoulder as she placed the oversized menus on the table in front of us. I was getting annoyed, but he didn’t seem to notice. He ordered himself a coke while I asked for a glass of wine, and not once did he look away from me while she was at our table.
“Does she know you?” I asked when she set down our drinks and finally moved away.
He frowned, looking at the back of her as she walked to another table. “I don’t think so. Why? Did she say something, and I didn’t hear?”
I shook my head. “No, she just…”
He picked up his coke and cocked a brow at me, then smirked.
I wrinkled my nose and took a sip of my wine. “Shut up.”
He raised his brows and spread his hands before him, palms up. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You don’t need to.”
“It’s cute.”
I scowled at him. “I said—”
“I didn’t notice because I’m not looking,” he interrupted. “I’ve got everything I want right in front of me.”
I looked down at the menu to avoid his gaze but didn’t bother to read it.
“Are you ready to order?” a female voice said behind me, saving me from the embarrassment of responding to that statement.
“Yes,” Jase answered. “I’ll have the penne with a garlic bread side.” Then he looked at me. “Do you know what you’d like?”
I looked at him in confusion. “Umm, I didn’t … I’ll have the same, thanks.”
“Any sides?”
I shook my head.
“That’s everything, thanks,” he said, flashing her an enigmatic smile. I set my jaw as she flicked her hair and flounced away, and he laughed.
“That’s really not funny.”
He sat back and studied me, eyes fixed on my mouth, his thumb running over his bottom lip
“What?”
He turned his mouth down in the corners and cocked his head. “I glanced, I wasn’t impressed.”
I took another mouthful of wine. “So why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’ll show you later.”
I put my glass down and tucked my hair behind my ears, trying to contain the thrill that shot through me. All that did was draw my attention to how turned on I was, and I shifted uncomfortably.
I could tell by his expression that he knew. I didn’t know how I was supposed to get through a meal feeling like this and necked my drink.
“Another?”
I wasn’t sure if he was trying to get me drunk, but I answered, “Umm… yeah.”
He flagged down the waitress again, and I watched his hand as he raised it and used two fingers to beckon her over.
I glared at him. “You really need to stop.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” he said, looking amused.
I stopped talking and wondered why I hadn’t just suggested we go straight back to his hotel.
Chapter Fourteen
I didn’t ask him to turn off the light. I wanted to, but that would defeat the whole object of his little exercise. If I were being honest, I was curious as to what exactly he was planning to achieve that he hadn’t already. That morning in the shower had been brilliant.
It was strange walking in from dinner with sex planned out. I’d never done that before.
“What are you going to do?”
“Do you want a blow-by-blow account, or can we just see how it goes?”
I pressed my lips together and tried not to laugh as he unzipped my dress, kissing my neck.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be nervous.”
His low voice behind my ear made me shudder, and he followed the sensation with his fingers down my shoulders, catching my dress and pulling it over my hips, letting it slide to the floor.
“I can’t help it.”
“How many times have we been here?” he asked, turning me to face him. My head was down, and he lifted my chin gently with his left index finger. “This isn’t new. It’s you and me together, like we have been dozens of times before. There was just an extended intermission, that’s all.”
He didn’t give me any more time to think, running that finger down my front until he reached my navel, and then he took me by the waist. He stepped closer, his shirt cold and crisp against my bare skin, and reached for the back of my neck with his free hand.
Pulling me close, he lowered his head and kissed me.
He’d never kissed me like this before, no one had, and I was instantly lost in him. In the way his mouth moved, teasing my lips apart to allow his tongue to caress mine. All my trepidation dissipated, and my body began to respond. It responded in ways I’d never known it to, starting with a spasm deep in my core.
“I want to make you feel good,” he murmured, breaking his kiss and cupping the side of my face. His eyes searched mine, a request. I knew he could. I believed it was his only goal. And while I didn’t fully understand it, I wanted to. I wanted to feel what I’d felt that morning, what he managed to draw from me after so many years of being without it. “Can you trust me enough? One word and I’ll stop. Nothing happens you don’t feel comfortable with.”
I would usually have felt exposed, self-conscious. But something had changed in me. I wasn’t afraid. The way he was looking at me as I stood before him in just a bra and panties, made me feel almost worthy of what he wanted to give me. For whatever reason, he wanted me. However damaged. However scarred. He was asking for the one thing I had to give. I reached for him, pulling him to me with his shirt, and he kissed me again briefly before stepping away.
“Lie down.”
“Where?”
“Wherever you’re comfortable.”
He watched me crawl onto the bed, and I glanced over my shoulder to see him unbutton his shirt. He caught me looking, and his expression changed. There was something primal in the way his eyes narrowed and my skin prickled.
I wasn’t sure where to position myself, but he moved around the bed, and I had to turn over to see him. I ended up on my side, watching as he unfastened the top two buttons of his jeans and reached into his back pocket.
“Do you want the lights off?” he asked, producing an eye mask.
I wasn’t sure. Would not being able to see him make me less conscious of the fact that he would be looking at all of me, or would it make me more aware?
“If you don’t like it, I’ll take it off.”
I wet my lips with my tongue, and his eyes flicked to my mouth. When he tilted his head in question I nodded, and then grinned as he knelt on the edge of the bed and flicked up his chin.
I sat up, allowing him to place the mask over my head, adjusting it gently to cover my eyes. His lips brushed mine, and then he was gone. Gone from the bed. Silent. I strained to hear movement, any indication of where he was and what he was doing, but there was nothing.
Then something brushed my cheek. Soft and light, it tickled as it passed over my skin and down my neck. My head tilted back of its own accord, my intake of breath loud in my ears as the sensation traveled down between my breasts before trailing away.
More silence. I didn’t hear him move, breathe, or anything, then the tingles began on the soles of my feet. It didn’t tickle in an unpleasant way, more like a gentle breeze passing over my skin, and my toes curled as he passed up and down a couple of times. There was a brief pause, then a different feeling, harder, but st
ill light, running up the centre of my sole. I jumped, then relaxed as the point ran along my ankle and up the inside of my leg to the knee.
“Feather.”
He laid it across my stomach, and he settled on the bed at my side.
“I’m going to need you to keep these,” his hands pushed and pulled at my knees, parting them, “like this. And I need,” his hands left my legs and I was left to anticipate his next move, and then he traced the lace edge of my with his fingertips, “these.”
He pulled the cups down, freeing both breasts and leaving them exposed. My nipples hardened in anticipation of his touch, and the seconds ticked by with agonizing slowness as I waited for him. I wasn’t disappointed when his tongue circled one, then the other, his hand running over my panties to massage my clit.
“Shit.”
I panicked. “What’s wrong?”
My knees pulled together, and he nudged them apart. “Keep them there. I didn’t expect you to be that wet yet, that’s all.”
“Sorry.”
His hand pulled my underwear to one side, and the cool air of the room chilled my slick folds as he ran his finger along me, gliding up and down, but never reaching my clit. I gasped, rolling my hips, then groaned as he removed his finger entirely. Unable to see him, I wasn’t expecting that finger to run along my bottom lip. Instinctively I parted my lips, allowing him to slide his finger into my mouth. “Don’t… This is how I want you. Don’t ever be sorry,” he said as I ran my tongue over his finger, tasting myself.
He withdrew his finger, replacing it with his mouth and kissed me hard. I arched my back and sighed when his chest pressed against my skin, but it was short-lived. He moved away quickly, positioning himself between my legs, and I tried to hook a foot behind his back to pull him toward me.
There was a humming sound that filled the room, and my whole body tensed. He splayed one of his hands on my stomach, then pressed the massager to my clit. It was a few seconds before the effect registered, but when it did, I sucked in a breath and stifled the sound that threatened to burst from my mouth. I tried to fight it, to stop my body from writhing, to keep my legs where he’d put them, but it was too much. I shifted my hips, trying to move it away, to relieve the building tension in my core, but he followed, refusing to let up. Then, just before I drowned in the mix of sensations, he pulled it away.