Lore

by Sandra R Neeley

  “Of course, you are correct in bringing her back to us. Without her mind intact, we are unable to restore her to her duties, but we can, of course, accept her into our sanctuary. We can allow her to live here among us, her brethren.”

  “Wonderful,” Lucitari answered sarcastically, glaring at the Angel Superior. The winds died down, and the tapestries stopped flapping about on the walls. The flames of the candles even sprang to life once again without a single individual approaching them with flame.

  “I shall call to her and bring her inside. I’m sure she will be treated with kindness and welcome.”

  “Of course, the child has suffered enough.”

  “Yes, she has. And she will suffer no more.”

  Evangeline had snuck into the front doors of the sanctuary and listened to the conversation between Lucitari and the elderly Angel. She didn’t quite understand all she’d heard; she’d only been brave enough to eavesdrop in the last few minutes. But it seemed like Lucitari had insisted they take her back, and maybe they were unsure they wanted her back. Evangeline heard Lucitari say she was going to bring her inside and hurried to get back outside to the stairs, where she’d left her.

  She had just retaken her place when Lucitari appeared before her. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes,” Evangeline said, rising from her place on the stairs.

  Lucitari swirled her mists, and moments later they both materialized in the sanctuary once again. Several of the younger Angels ran forward, embracing Evangeline. “Evangeline! You’ve returned to us!”

  Evangeline was truly happy to see these younger Angels. They embraced and hugged, and their happiness was apparent.

  “Evangeline. Welcome home,” the Angel Superior offered.

  “Thank you, Mother,” Evangeline said, eyes downcast, her hands clasped demurely in front of her. “You will not be sorry for accepting me back. I’m truly happy to be home.”

  “I’m sure you are. Yet, we cannot restore you fully. You are welcome to live here among us and participate in any way you wish, but we cannot restore you to your former status. You will not be given charges to comfort or new lives to watch over. But you will be safe here with us.”

  “I understand, Mother. Thank you,” Evangeline answered.

  Lucitari moved toward Evangeline, causing the other Angels to scatter. “You will call for me at any time you need me. If you are unhappy for any reason at all,” Lucitari turned and glared at the judgmental Angel Superior, “you will call to me, and I will come. You will suffer no more, this I vow.”

  “Thank you, Lucitari,” Evangeline said, leaning out to hug her, but realizing at the final moment as her hands moved through the mist that Lucitari had no corporeal features at all. She couldn’t be hugged — she was only mists.

  “You are most welcome. Be happy, Evangeline. Dance in the sunshine.”

  Evangeline smiled. “I will!”

  <<<<<<<>>>>>>>

  Lucitari’s mists announced her arrival before she actually materialized. The dark blue mists with silver threads through them could belong to no other. Lore lay on the cot in Enthrall’s fishing hut, watching the stars in the sky through the opened door.

  He welcomed her before he actually saw her. “Hello, Luci.”

  “Lore. I thought I might find you here.”

  “And so you have.”

  “I thought you might like to know of Evangeline.”

  Lore sat up, swinging his feet to rest upon the damp ground beneath him. “I would. Is she settled, then?”

  “Yes. The female who leads her brethren thought to refuse her, but a few implied threats, loosely worded, took care of that. The younger females of her own age were very happy to see her. I don’t think she’ll be returned to full status, but time will tell. At least she is living among them again, and I dare say none will be anything other than welcoming.”

  “Well done. Thank you for your help.”

  “You are most welcome.”

  Lore laid back on the cot again, staring at the stars once more.

  “You do not seem happy, Lore. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “No. This is not what I want,” he said, his voice rising. “But it is what Evangeline wants. And that is worth so much more than any tiny little thing I could dream of wanting. So I shall live with it. But I will not like it. I will not pretend to like it. I will simply do what I must.”

  “You will find happiness again. You will. You have Danae in your life….”

  “Her name is Lily. And yes, I do have her in my life. And I have friends who care. And I shall go on. But it will take some time. I have searched for Evangeline endlessly, saving her my only focus, as she was reborn again and again, then, finally hidden away in Hell. It never occurred to me that she’d choose to leave me.”

  “She didn’t leave you, Lore.”

  Lore tore his stare away from the night skies. “Do you see her here? Is there something I’m missing?”

  “No. But she didn’t leave you. She doesn’t remember you. She has no memory of her history with you. All she remembers is the tortures and isolation she endured. She remembers the sanctuary and her brethren, that is all. And after the trauma she’s lived through, that is what she sees as home. But she didn’t love you then choose to live without you. She doesn’t remember you.”

  “Thank you, Lucitari. You are correct. I’ll try to remember that.”

  “I’m only a thought away, Lore. If you need me, call for me.”

  Lore nodded and stood up to go to her and embrace her, but she hurriedly misted away, leaving him mid-step in her direction.

  He looked down at the ground where she was just standing and realized there were no footprints. That was strange. Perhaps she just didn’t bother with fully materializing. She had powers and talents he was not aware of. He’d been away from them for too long. It was possible both his siblings had developed strengths he knew nothing of. He wandered over to the water’s edge, where it lapped at the shore. He dropped down onto his bottom in the sand and threw himself backwards, staring at the stars while the cool waters soaked his body. It was cool out, fall approaching. But to him, the sensation of the chilled waters against his flesh was a welcomed thing. It had been a long time since he’d had flesh that could feel any sensation at all. “Be happy, Evangeline,” he whispered to the night.

  <<<<<<<>>>>>>>

  Evangeline snuggled down into the soft, warm bed that she’d remembered from before she’d been stolen by the Dark One. She’d dreamed of this bed so often. She smiled to herself, not believing that she was finally here, drifting to sleep in it.

  She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, pulling her blankets up and over her chin as she always did. The moment she fell asleep, her subconscious mind took over, playing out things her conscious mind couldn’t even conceive of. She saw a handsome male, beautiful and dangerous. His long, dark hair flowing in the winds as he rushed to her across the grasses of the meadow she so loved. She knew what he was. He was an Ancient, and he was the most flamboyant of them all — known as a trickster, a lover of women, and a bargain maker. He’d do you a favor, if you’d do one for him. But here he was, looking at her like he’d finally found the most precious treasure in her eyes.

  “I am Lore,” he said to her. “I am yours.” He smiled his brightest smile and held out his hand for her. “Will you trust me, sweet? Will you come away with me?”

  She laughed softly in her sleep, secretly thrilled that a male of his caliber, his power and danger, would find her intriguing. She was drawn to him.

  She turned over in her bed, unconsciously tucking her wings tight into her back so that they stayed out of the way while she slept. She sighed as he spoke to her in her dreams and willfully followed him wherever he led.

  The next morning she smiled to herself as she rose early to help prepare breakfast for everyone. Her dreams were fresh in her mind, and she loved the feeling they gave her. It was surely what being in love felt like. Not that she’d ever know,
she was never leaving the safety of this sanctuary again. She went about her chores that day with a smile, wondering to herself if her dreams would bring him back to her that night.

  They did. And continued every single night thereafter. They were not always happy dreams, but they never failed to take over as soon as she fell asleep. And even in the ones that were not happy dreams, her male was there, always searching for her, calling her name. Trying to bring her home. He never forgot about her. He never stopped loving her.

  Every day she’d wake with a start, fully expecting to find herself in the last place she dreamed. Then she’d wander through her day, hoping she’d get to see him again, find out what would happen next.

  Each night she’d rush through the last of her chores, her evening prayers, and washing up. Then she’d get into bed and close her eyes, hoping for another dream. She’d almost convinced herself this was not a dream. She knew who the male looked like — the Ancient who’d saved her from the Dark One. She knew that was who she saw in her dreams, but she wasn’t sure if it was her imagination telling her stories, or if somehow this was something that she needed to remember. She was afraid. She didn’t know how it ended, and she couldn’t help but remember that her Angel Superior almost didn’t take her back. If she were to leave again to try to find him, she’d surely not be allowed back. And if the male in her dreams really was hers, wouldn’t he have come for her by now? She didn’t even know how to find him, not that he’d want to be found. This could be no more than fantasies she’d dreamed up after so much trauma. They all said she’d endured so much. Even the Angel Superior said so. So maybe this was just her subconscious trying to fill her head with other things, so she wouldn’t remember the tortures she surely lived through. She was so confused.

  Chapter 24

  Lore sat on the deck with Boon and Lily. Lily was playing with Boon much the same way Lore had with her when she was little. Tossing a ball to him with her mists and holding it there just long enough for him to grab it before she let it drop, sending him into peals of laughter.

  Carolena came outside with breakfast for everyone. They were being quiet and visiting on the deck because Carnage had had a very restless night. He’d been in a lot of pain, and Carolena had been very concerned, so she’d called for Lore. Lore had assured her it was most likely the cold weather affecting the scar tissue on his back, and sensing nothing else wrong, not to worry. Now that he’d finally fallen asleep, they were letting him sleep in.

  “Can I come up?” a voice called from below.

  Carolena walked over to the railing and looked down. “Of course, Murder. But we’re trying to be quiet, so Carnage can sleep in. He had a sleepless night.”

  “His back again?” Murder asked, after setting foot on the deck and folding his wings away.

  “Again?” Carolena asked.

  “Yes, it hurts him from time to time. But he confided in me yesterday that it was almost excruciating. Which coming from Carnage is saying something. He has a very high pain tolerance,” Murder explained.

  “He’s never told me,” Carolena said.

  “He doesn't want to worry you. It’s nothing more. It can’t be helped, so why burden you with it?” Lore asked. “Come, you’ve made this delicious breakfast. Both of you come sit and eat, while I play with my niece and nephew,” Lore said, a huge smile on his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes were always sad, always downcast, never sparkling.

  Carolena looked from Murder to Lore. Neither one of them ever truly smiled any more. Murder was becoming more and more withdrawn, and Lore was only going through the motions. But if you asked either one of them, they both denied it and pretended they didn’t know what you were talking about.

  “We have plenty, Murder. Please join us,” Carolena invited.

  “I didn’t mean to intrude. I was looking for Lore.”

  “And you’ve found me. Come have a seat and eat with us,” Lore insisted.

  “Very well. But we need to speak afterward.”

  “Done,” Lore agreed.

  <<<<<<<>>>>>>>

  “Are you sure this is your decision, Evangeline? This cannot be undone. Whatever happens out in the world, you cannot come back to us,” Angel Superior said haughtily.

  “I am aware. But I can’t just keep wandering through my days with no purpose. I know now what is waiting for me. I must go after it.”

  “Very well. But be sure you understand. You will be no more than human once you leave here.”

  “Will I retain my memories?” Evangeline asked, her head bowed as she bore the disappointment of the Angel Superior.

  “Yes, you will retain your memories,” a powerful voice declared from behind Evangeline.

  Evangeline looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Lucitari!”

  “Hello, Evangeline.”

  “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

  “I told you, call for me, and I’d be here.”

  “It’s been a while though, so I wasn’t sure.”

  “Time is an afterthought to me. I am here. Proceed,” Lucitari said, waving a hand toward the flock gathered around the sanctuary.

  “Will I retain my memories?” Evangeline asked again.

  The Angel Superior glanced at Lucitari and set her lips in a firm line. “Yes, apparently you’ll retain your memories. But you will have to give up your wings. You cannot leave here as human and have wings.”

  Evangeline lifted her wings and shook them out a bit. She liked her wings. And Lore liked her wings. She remembered him smoothing his fingers across the tops of them as they fell asleep in each other’s arms at night. And the little girl, Lily, liked her wings, too.

  “Is that the only way?”

  “It is. I’m sorry, but if you leave us this final time, it is of your own free will, and your wings have to be given up. You will be human for all purposes going forward. I have heard tell that some Angels maintain their ability to soothe, their instinctive angelic personalities, but all else will be left here, with us,” the Angel Superior explained.

  Evangeline’s head popped up. “So I’m not the first one? I’m not the only one to choose life outside these walls? Outside these rules?” she asked excitedly.

  “No. You are not.”

  “Take them. Take the wings. If the life I hope to have is waiting for me, yet I have to exchange my wings for it, I’ll gladly give them up.”

  “Step forward, Evangeline,” the Angel Superior instructed.

  Evangeline did as she asked, stepping up onto a raised dais, where the sunlight shone in directly onto her and her alone as though a spotlight was shining on her.

  The Angel Superior raised her hands into the air and began chanting. The voices of the other Angels soon joined in.

  They were all startled to silence when Evangeline’s voice rose above theirs. “What is going to happen to them?”

  The Angel Superior wasn’t sure what she meant and didn’t answer right away.

  “My wings! What will happen to my wings?” Evangeline pressed.

  “I suppose they’ll go to someone waiting on theirs,” Angel Superior answered.

  “May I ask a favor?”

  Contrary to belief, the Angel Superior had a soft spot for Evangeline, always had. Her heart had worried over the young Angel for many years until the Ancient Lucitari had returned her to them. She’d had to pretend she didn’t want her back to deter the others from straying, but she’d been secretly thrilled to have Evangeline back in any capacity.

  “You may. One final request before you leave us.”

  Evangeline smiled. “Thank you, Mother.”

  <<<<<<<>>>>>>>

  Lucitari hovered just above the tall grasses of the meadow as Evangeline walked through them. “Any regrets?” Lucitari asked.

  “No. Not one. Do you think he’ll be happy to see me?” Evangeline asked.

  “I’m sure of it. He has suffered every moment being away from you.”

  Evangeline stopped walking, kicking up a tu
ft of dirt with her shoe while talking with Lucitari. “Why didn’t he come for me, then?”

  “Your happiness means more to him than his own. And you wanted to be here. He was not going to take any happy you may have found away from you.”

  “I could never be happy without him,” Evangeline said softly, looking up at Lucitari.

  “Nor he without you,” Lucitari said, a smile on her face. “Are you ready?”

  “I am.”

  “Let us be off, then. I am anxious to see his face when you arrive.” Lucitari swirled her mists around them both, and they faded away.

  <<<<<<<>>>>>>>

  Lore was sitting on the floor of the deck, patiently holding out a slice of toast with jam spread on it while Boon did his best to eat it with only a few little teeth in his mouth.

  Each time Lore would pull it away and try to break off a piece to place in Boon’s mouth, he’d growl at Lore and reach out a chubby little hand to hold Lore’s hand still.

  Lore would chuckle and go back to holding it for him.

  “Lore, he can do that himself,” Carolena said, watching.

  “It’s alright. I don’t mind. Makes me feel needed.”

  Suddenly, there was a huge banging in the house as though things were being knocked over. “Leenah!! Leeeeeenaaaaah!!” Carnage bellowed from inside the house.

  Carolena rose from the chair she sat in and almost knocked it over in a hurry to get to him. “I’m out here, Carnage!” she called, while running toward the door.

  She glanced over her shoulder to ask Murder to keep an eye on the kids as she went. She saw his eyes round and widen, his mouth drop open, and then a huge smile, a real smile that went all the way to his eyes, filled his face.