The Amish Teacher's Dilemma and Healing Their Amish Hearts

by Patricia Davids

  Becca stood abruptly. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

  The wooden steps creaked as she went up the stairs to the second story. She returned moments later carrying a booklet and several pieces of paper, which she handed to him.

  “This is a copy of an intervention plan I’ve already drawn up for Sam,” she said. “Just a few simple steps on how we can offer positive reinforcement, some stimulus fading techniques to desensitize him when he’s around other people, ways to help him build social skills, and tactics so he won’t feel as anxious. If you’ll read through these materials and try to incorporate them at home, I think we can help him overcome this problem. I’ll do the same at school, only much more since he’ll be with his classmates during that time.”

  Jesse glanced at the plan of action, surprised at how detailed it was. It was quite thorough and easy to follow with step-by-step instructions dealing with a variety of scenarios. For the first time in a year, a lance of optimism speared his chest with hope. He wasn’t surprised to see that she’d assigned him to read with Sam each night. No matter how busy he was right now, he had no excuses. If nothing else, spending more time with Sam might increase his bond with the boy. And after what they’d been through, they both needed time together more than anything.

  “Ja, I will do these things. I’ll read to him each night,” he promised.

  Her shoulders relaxed and he realized she’d been tensed, expecting him to refuse again.

  “That’s wundervoll,” she exclaimed, her smile so bright that he had to swallow. “And I’d like to suggest one more thing that I hope will help all of us.”

  He quirked one eyebrow and waited. It wasn’t until she spoke again that he realized he was holding his breath.

  “I think Sam needs extra tutoring, to help with his school studies. Since you live only a short way up the road, I propose that I bring Sam home from school every Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoon. Then I can tutor him for an extra hour or so. And the added benefit is that you won’t have to pick him up on those days, which should alleviate your workload too. Since today is Monday, I’d like to start tutoring him tomorrow, even though it’s Tuesday. Does that sound all right?”

  Jesse just stared, his mind struggling to absorb what she’d suggested. It was true that the Fisher farm wasn’t far away from his place. In the darkest part of the night, he could even see their lights gleaming across his fields. They were his neighbors, though he hadn’t developed a very close friendship with them yet. He just hadn’t had the time for the niceties. Maybe later in the summer, after his fields were planted, he could do something about that.

  “Ja, that would work fine,” he said, suddenly willing to agree to anything she wanted.

  Actually, her proposal would be an unexpected blessing. Living so far outside of town provided the quiet and solitude he desired but it also meant he had to take Sam to school early in the mornings and fetch him home in the afternoons. Some days, that posed a great hardship, depending on what he was working on. He did it because he believed an education was so important for Sam and because he loved his son. But it hadn’t been easy.

  “Fie. We’ll start with the tutoring tomorrow and go from there.” She smiled and came to her feet, signaling they were finished.

  He stood slowly. As she stepped over to the kitchen and invited him in for a huge slice of pie, he felt like he was moving in a fog. Naomi and Dawdi Zeke welcomed him. They laughed and chatted as though he were a member of their familye. Jesse didn’t say much but nodded and smiled in return. It felt so mundane and normal and he appreciated their kindness more than he could say. His gaze kept roaming over to Becca as she offered Sam a chilled glass of milk. The child smiled and chewed with relish. And that’s when something dawned on Jesse. He hadn’t seen his son look this happy since before the house fire. Already, Becca had made a huge difference in Sam’s life.

  By the time Jesse loaded his sleepy son into their buggy for the short drive home, he couldn’t help thinking that his familye used to be fun like this. They used to laugh and talk and eat pie together around the kitchen table. Oh, how he missed them all. How he missed the love and companionship they used to share.

  How he missed Alice.

  He had Becca to thank for today. She was so dynamic and outspoken, but also kind and generous. Because she was Sam’s teacher, she seemed to think she was entitled to make demands on Jesse and his time. The most irksome part was that she was right. Sam needed help. His father’s help.

  Becca was pushy, insistent and giving. She was so different from his gentle, quiet, submissive Alice. Jesse just hoped Becca’s plan worked and Sam would soon start talking again. And as he drove them home through the cold night air, all of a sudden the world seemed to be filled with amazing possibilities.

  Chapter Five

  The following morning, Sam didn’t show up for school. They’d had another bad snowstorm in the night, so Becca thought perhaps Jesse couldn’t get his horse and buggy through the tall drifts that covered the dirt road leading from his farm. Since she lived just one mile away from his place, she knew the plows had been out early that morning to clear the county roads so the school buses with the Englisch kids could get to school safely. And that benefited the Amish too. But each farm had a dirt road that extended quite a way down and no one plowed that for them. Maybe tonight, she’d suggest to Jakob that he take his horses and sleigh over to Jesse’s place to help clear his driveway and road.

  Two hours into the school day, she was standing in front of the chalkboard, helping the fourth-graders work through some particularly difficult arithmetic problems. The front door suddenly blasted open with a gust of chilly air. Becca whirled around and saw little Sam standing there with his father. Both of them were bundled up in heavy black coats, boots, knit caps, gloves and scarfs. While Jesse closed the door, the boy hurried over to the coatracks where he doffed his winter wear and hung it up. A quick glance at the other first-graders told him what subject they were working on as he slid into his seat and took out his penmanship book. And that’s when Becca saw his red eyes and tearstained face. The boy had obviously been crying. But why? What was the matter?

  “I’m sorry we’re late. It couldn’t be helped.” Jesse lifted a hand as he spoke in Deitsch.

  Under normal circumstances, Becca would have just smiled and welcomed Jesse and Sam to school. But the fact that Sam had been crying upset her. Setting the chalk aside, she walked over to Jesse and indicated she’d like him to accompany her outside where they could speak in private.

  “Continue with your studies, please,” she called to the scholars before shutting the door against intrusion.

  Standing on the front step, she faced Jesse, her emotions a riot of unease. “What has happened? Why is Sam so late?”

  It was only when he responded that she realized she had also spoken in Deitsch. His and Sam’s sudden appearance had flustered her more than she liked to admit.

  Jesse shrugged, not meeting her gaze. “Sam had a bad morning. He is all right now.”

  “Are you sure? He looks distressed.” She spoke in Englisch this time, trying to remain professional.

  “Ja, he is fine now.”

  Hmm. His comment led her to believe it wasn’t the heavy drifts of snow that had caused Sam to cry. So, what had happened?

  “Are you sure you’re up to bringing him home this afternoon after school? We got nine inches out at our place and I don’t want you stranded on the road somewhere,” Jesse said.

  He acted like everything was completely normal, which confused her even more. Little six-year-old boys didn’t cry for no reason. Maybe she could find out what was the matter from Sam, although that might prove difficult since the boy didn’t talk.

  “Ja, the sky is clear and the snow is melting now,” she said. “We shouldn’t have any more storms for several days. I should be able to bring Sam home and tutor him this af
ternoon without any problems.”

  “Gut, I’ll see you then. I’ll watch for you and komm looking for you if you’re late arriving at my place.”

  His words gave her a bit of comfort. It was nice to know someone was looking out for her in case she had trouble with her horse and buggy.

  Jesse turned and walked down the steps, his long legs moving fast as he stepped around muddy areas where the snow had melted into puddles.

  Rubbing her arms against the frigid air, Becca didn’t call him back or question him further. She had no right to interfere.

  She returned to the classroom and discovered that the students hadn’t made much progress without her help. Lenore Schwartz, an eighth-grader, had just stepped in to offer assistance. With Becca’s arrival, Lenore handed over the piece of chalk and returned to her desk.

  “Thank you, Lenore,” Becca called after the girl in a pleasant voice.

  “You’re willkomm.” The girl nodded and smiled shyly.

  Becca could tell some of the scholars were becoming more relaxed around her. After all, this was only her sixth day of teaching these kids. She was delighted to know they were starting to feel comfortable enough to step in and help the younger children.

  “Let’s see, where are we?” Pressing a finger to her lips, Becca stepped up to the chalkboard and studied the problem once more.

  She glanced at Susan Hostetler, one of the fourth-graders who was working this particular problem. Becca pointed at a specific area of the addition. “I think you’re getting hung up right here.”

  “Ach, I told you so. You’re adding it wrong.” Caleb Yoder spoke with impatience.

  Since Caleb was her only fifth-grader, she had brought him in to work with the fourth-graders. He brushed past Susan, picked up a piece of chalk and started to work her problem. Becca intervened, quickly erasing what he had written on the board.

  “Caleb, this is Susan’s problem to work out. Please wait patiently for your turn,” she said.

  The other children frowned with disapproval at Caleb’s rude behavior and he stepped back with a huff. Becca was glad. Maybe peer pressure would help keep Caleb in line.

  Becca faced Susan again. “Did you remember to carry the nine?”

  For several moments, Susan stared at the chalkboard, her forehead knitted in a deep frown of concentration. Then, the light clicked on inside her brain and she gasped in comprehension. “Ach, it’s right here!”

  The girl quickly worked the problem, wrote the answer below, then turned to face Becca with an expectant smile. “Is it right this time? Is it?”

  Becca nodded, showing a wide smile of approval. “You are absolutely correct. Well done!”

  “Yay!” the girl cried, her face wide with a happy smile.

  A laugh broke from Becca’s throat. She loved this part of teaching. When she saw the light of knowledge glimmer in one of her student’s eyes, it made her happy too. Yesterday, she’d doubted herself so much. But maybe she could do this after all. Once again, a part of her couldn’t help wishing she could marry and have a familye of her own. Since Vernon had broken her heart, it wasn’t to be. After the way he’d treated her, she didn’t think she could trust another man ever again. And moping about her shattered dreams wouldn’t do her any good. She had better get on with her life and make the best of it. But successes like this brought her a great deal of satisfaction and joy.

  “Very well done,” she praised Susan again, then glanced at Caleb. “I think you’re a bit too advanced for these problems. You’ll need a more difficult fraction to add.”

  She could tell her words pleased him. Praise usually brought on Hochmut, the pride of the world, so it wasn’t encouraged among the Amish. But Becca thought a small compliment might help Caleb in this situation. While he watched her quizzically, she quickly wrote out a more strenuous problem with multiple fractions. Then, she handed her piece of chalk to him and stepped back to give him room to work.

  He pressed his tongue to his upper lip while he studied the equation. Within moments, he had solved the problem with very little hesitation. He was definitely a bright scholar. Maybe that was the reason he kept getting into trouble. He was bored.

  Well, she would just have to give him more work to do.

  “Yay!” the other children called, quick to forgive him for being discourteous and quick to offer encouragement.

  Becca laid a hand on Caleb’s shoulder and met his eyes. “Very well done, Caleb. In fact, I think you are advanced enough that you should start helping one of the younger children with their arithmetic. How would you like to become Sam’s math partner?”

  Caleb glanced at the little boy, who sat quietly studying at his desk. A frown curved Caleb’s mouth downward and Becca feared he might refuse.

  “You know he doesn’t speak, but you’re such a gut student that I know you can explain things to him.” Becca whispered the words for Caleb’s ears alone. After all, she didn’t want to hurt Sam’s feelings. “You’re quite a bit older and Sam really looks up to you. I’m sure he’d appreciate your help. And I’d love to tell your vadder that you’re one of our school tutors.”

  A flicker of delight blazed in Caleb’s eyes. He liked that. A lot.

  “But you mustn’t do Sam’s work for him,” she cautioned, still speaking softly so the other kids wouldn’t overhear. “Just help show him where he might be getting the problems wrong and let him figure things out himself. Then we’ll tell everyone what a gut tutor he has.”

  That did the trick. Caleb nodded and immediately went over to sit close to Sam and help with his simple addition. Caleb sat up straight, his movements filled with confidence. And Becca knew she’d done a good thing. Caleb was very bright and getting too bored, which led to him causing trouble in the school. But elevating him to tutor would help him focus more on helping Sam. It would help him concentrate on helping someone else instead of getting into trouble. Caleb would now be Sam’s protector instead of his tormentor.

  Feeling good about her day of teaching, Becca returned to her work with the other scholars and the morning whizzed by way too fast. She felt happy inside, knowing she’d just resolved a huge problem with Caleb. It made her glad she was a teacher. Glad she had come here to Colorado.

  “Teacher Becca?”

  She looked up and saw Karen Yoder holding her hand high in the air.

  “Yes, Karen?” she said.

  Karen indicated the clock on the wall. “It’s lunchtime, teacher. I thought you might be too busy to notice.”

  Glancing at the clock, Becca gasped and realized her mistake. It was already eleven thirty. Where had the morning gone?

  “Thank you, Karen. Scholars, please return to your desks and stand while we say our prayer of thanks,” she said.

  The children at the chalkboard returned to their seats and all the students stood while they recited in unison. When they finished, the scholars each gathered their lunch pails and congregated in several huddles to eat.

  “When you’re finished with your lunch, you’re welcome to go outside and build a snowman. Or if it’s too cold and you prefer to stay inside, feel free to get out the game boards and play quietly together,” Becca told them.

  The kids nodded, speaking in muted voices, an occasional laugh piercing the air. None of them went outside today. They stayed inside and played games instead.

  Becca sat at her desk, putting the finishing touches on the end-of-year program while she took bites of her ham sandwich. And that’s when she looked up and saw something amazing. Instead of teasing the younger boys, Caleb had invited little Sam and Andy over to join him and the older boys in a game of Life on the Farm. Sam didn’t speak but he participated silently and smiled when he did something right. The other children encouraged him, acting the way she expected them to.

  Becca smiled to herself, realizing maybe she could be a good teacher after all. Last w
eek, she’d felt as though she were a failure. That she never should have come to Colorado. But what she had done with Caleb Yoder had been a big achievement. Maybe she could make it as a teacher after all.

  Now, if she could just figure out how to help Sam speak again, she would be truly happy. This afternoon, she would drive the little boy home and offer him some tutoring. She’d be sure to spend a little extra time bouncing ideas off Jesse as to how to help his son as well. She prayed that he wouldn’t resist and would take her advice well. And maybe during their conversation, she could find out what had caused Sam to cry that morning. She just hoped Jesse hadn’t been cruel to his son. She liked Jesse. She really did. She just wished he was more sensitive to his son’s needs.

  * * *

  By four o’clock that afternoon, Becca and Sam hadn’t arrived at the house and Jesse was ready to go find them. He stumbled on his way out of the back shed and headed toward the barn. Even though it was still early, the sky was overcast with a cluster of gray clouds. Maybe the roads had iced up already. It was certainly cold enough. He didn’t know how good a driver Becca was and started to worry.

  He led Jimmy, his road horse, out of the barn. Taking a deep inhale of fresh air, he tried to clear his muddled mind. A blaze of panic almost overtook him. The horrible feeling of being out of control and losing everything that was good in life. And he couldn’t do a single thing to stop it from happening. Maybe Becca hadn’t been paying attention and went off the road. Maybe she and Sam were lying hurt somewhere in a ditch...

  The jingle of a harness brought his attention and he looked up. Becca’s horse and buggy pulled into the graveled yard. Jesse saw her and his son sitting on the front seat, both of them bundled up against the frigid air. Becca held the leather lead lines with her gloved hands, seeming alert and attentive as she drove with confidence.