Death on the Danube

by Jennifer S. Alderson

  “What the heck is that?” Sally asked.

  “It is bejgli, a traditional Christmas treat. It’s a pastry roll filled with walnut.”

  “Oh, I’ve never tasted that before.” Sally took a hesitant bite. “This is scrumptious! Oh, Carl, you’ll love it.” She cut off a piece and pushed the fork into his mouth. He obediently chewed and murmured his approval, a strange grimace on his face. To Lana, Carl looked uncomfortable, not love-struck.

  After she’d ensured that all of her guests were happy, Lana took Jess’s place at the Fabulous Five’s table to wait for their meal to arrive.

  Moments later a team of waiters brought soup to their tables. One cleared his throat to get the group’s attention. “We have two kinds of soups for you to sample tonight. The first is halaszle, a traditional Hungarian paprika-based fish soup. It is quite spicy, so do be careful when trying it. The second dish is gombaleves, a soup made from wild mushrooms and sour cream. Hungarians use the bread to soak up the broths. Enjoy.”

  Soon Frieda exclaimed, “Phew, that is delicious, but the peppers are setting my mouth on fire.”

  Lana took a tentative bite of the fish soup, feeling the burn on her tongue. It was quite spicy but not much more so than the Thai curries she loved to make back home. The fish melted in her mouth as her stomach rumbled in satisfaction.

  After their plates were cleared, Lana helped refill water and wine glasses until the waiters returned with their main course – a hearty green salad and beef stew.

  As the plates were served, one waiter announced, “This is goulash. It is probably Hungary’s most famous dish. There are many variations; we hope you enjoy ours.”

  Lana poked around her bowl with a fork. It was a rich stew filled with tomatoes, carrots, onions, potatoes, paprika, and beef. Her grandmother had always made the most wonderful stews. She breathed in the peppery smells, her mouth watering in anticipation. The first bite was just like Grandma used to make. It was wonderful.

  During dinner, the Fabulous Five told Lana about the group’s visit to Vienna and Prague. It sounded like they’d had a wonderful Christmas and had gotten to visit many lovely markets, concerts, churches, and monuments during the first ten days of the tour. Lana also learned that the women loved to gamble and had visited several casinos along the way. Apparently Nicole was quite lucky at blackjack.

  “The snow made everything seem like a fairy tale, though it was slow going on the sidewalks,” Sara said. “I sure hope it won’t be too icy tomorrow. I can’t afford to fall again; I doubt Medicare will pay for two hip operations in one year.”

  “We were lucky Gerta, our first tour guide, didn’t race us around the city. I hope you’ll remember to take it easy, too,” Frieda said, emphasizing her point with her fork.

  Lana nodded solemnly. “I promise.”

  “Great. Now, down to business. Are you married?”

  “No, not anymore. Sadly, my divorce was finalized a month ago.”

  “Are you kidding?” Frieda snorted. “Divorce is the best thing that ever happened to me. My husband was a domineering jerk. After we separated, I finally got to live life the way I wanted to.”

  Lana thought wistfully back to her married days. All nine years had been blissful. So often she had envisioned growing old with Ron. She still missed Ron’s silly tricks, working together on a new act, how it felt to amaze a crowd, and even roughing it while on tour. Ron was a lot of things, but he was fun most of all.

  It all happened so suddenly, she hadn’t really had time to process his betrayal and give it a place in her heart. She was still reeling from his message telling her it was over. It was the last thing she’d ever expected to happen, and it felt like a punch in the gut. She trusted him implicitly, and he let her down. Perhaps if she had found him and his new assistant in bed, she could have gotten it through her thick skull that he didn’t love her, that their relationship was well and truly over. But all she had was a text message and divorce papers.

  “What happened?”

  “He left me for his new assistant.”

  “Ah, yes. Why do so many men have trouble keeping their pants on? Our friend Carl appears to be one of those, as well,” Frieda added, keeping her voice low this time. The tables were spaced well apart from each other, but she obviously didn’t want to risk drawing Carl’s attention to their conversation.

  Lana was puzzled. Carl might appear a bit glum at having his wings clipped, but surely he wouldn’t be getting engaged to Sally if he was interested in someone else, she thought. “What do you mean?”

  “Ever since Prague, they have been an item. At least, it sure seems like they were hooking up, didn’t it, girls?” Frieda looked around the table and received a wave of nods in return.

  “I swear it was like watching a magnet change in polarity. The first day in Vienna, he wouldn’t look her in the eye. By the time we arrived in Prague, he couldn’t leave her be. It was as if he was bewitched. I don’t know what that Sally woman thinks she’s doing marrying him, but if I were her, I would watch out for any missteps before I tied the knot,” Frieda continued. Based on her dedication to the Fabulous Five and its widower policy, Lana wondered whether she was the right person to serve as marriage counselor.

  Rebecca laughed. “I think Frieda is just jealous.”

  “He does have a thick head of hair and is easy on the eyes,” Nicole acknowledged.

  “They did seem real close in Prague, I’ll grant you that. But to be fair, Carl didn’t accompany us on the day trips, at least not until the other guide broke her shoulder. We couldn’t really observe them up close those first few days,” Julia added, as if trying to temper Frieda’s accusation by injecting a sense of doubt.

  “Ladies, are you talking about Jess?” Lana asked, her tone incredulous.

  “Jezebel, if you ask me,” Rebecca said, nodding.

  “That guide Gerta should have known better than to try skibobbing for the first time at sixty. My goodness, those things get up to 120 miles per hour. What did she think was going to happen?” Frieda said.

  “Where’s your sense of adventure gone, Frieda? I’m sure they didn’t intend to crash into each other,” Sarah chastised her friend. “And it sure did look like fun to me. If only I was twenty years younger.”

  When Frieda looked away and humphed, Sara turned to Lana. “We’ve been friends since grade school. I’m allowed to knock her down a notch or two.”

  “Wait, are you certain Carl and Jess are an item?” Lana asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from skibobbing and back to her fellow guide’s cheating ways.

  “As sure as I can be without sneaking into their bedroom,” Frieda stated solemnly.

  Lana balled her fists as a wave of anger surged through her body. How could Carl cheat on Sally like that? And with someone on the very same tour, to boot? And if he was so interested in Jess, why did he propose to Sally? It didn’t make any sense. Or were the Fabulous Five just filling in the blanks with the juiciest scenario they could envision? Lana hoped that for Sally’s sake, it was the latter.

  She snuck a look at their table. Sally was feeding Carl bits of bread and wiping his chin. Carl looked as if he wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.

  Lana looked down at her plate of goulash and told herself that it was none of her business what Carl was doing. The first night of a six-day trip was not the right time to confront Carl about his infidelity. She needed this job, and Dotty had sent her over to help keep everyone happy, not start a fight. Lana took another bite of her stew, but her emotions seemed to have wiped away her sense of taste. The delicate flavors and mouthwatering smells she’d relished moments earlier were gone. Everything tasted like cardboard.

  Lana closed her eyes and exhaled, forcing evil thoughts out of her head. She was here to lead this group, not administer marital advice. When she looked around the room again, Lana realized most of her clients were finishing up their dinners. It was now or never. Lana rose and cleared her throat before addressing th
e small crowd.

  “Welcome again to Budapest. This promises to be a wonderful week. The weather reports are positive. Yes, it is cold, and they expect occasional snow flurries, but no storms are on the horizon. We hope this will be an unforgettable experience for you all. Just as in Prague and Vienna, you will have a local guides and a bus to take you around the city. And we have our own private boat for our two-day cruise on the Danube River. It promises to be a wonderful week.” Lana looked around the tables, making eye contact with the guests. Helen and Tom stared at her blankly. Sally smiled in encouragement as Carl took a large swig of beer. The Fabulous Five and the Hendersons all waited attentively for her to finish talking so they could finish their dinners.

  “Tomorrow after breakfast, a local guide will lead us around Buda Palace. Afterwards, we will return to the hotel for a short break, before visiting the Christmas markets in the evening. Please be in the lobby five minutes before eleven so that we are all ready when the bus arrives. It is a three-hour guided tour of the palace, labyrinth, and Fisherman’s Bastion. Light snow is expected, so please dress appropriately. If you don’t want to join the entire tour, there is a café we can meet up at afterwards. I will point it out after we arrive.” Lana crossed her fingers, hoping she could find it without having to ask the local guide.

  “If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask.”

  “When will we have time to visit the spas?” Frieda asked.

  “On December 31, you will have an entire day to pamper yourselves,” Lana said. There were no further questions, so she concluded, “I am in room 15 if you need me. Enjoy your dessert.”

  7 Room Service

  Lana had just snuggled into her comfortable bed when her hotel phone rang.

  Figuring it was Dotty, she answered with a sleepy hello as she turned on the lamp on the nightstand.

  “The room is too cold. I want two more blankets brought to my room. Now.”

  “Umm, who is calling?” Lana sat up in her bed, letting the comforter slide down her pajama top.

  “Helen Roberts, room 27.”

  “Oh, hello, Helen. Did you already call reception?”

  “Why would I do that? We pay you so we don’t have to deal with foreigners.”

  Lana stared at the receiver in shock. What a horrible woman, she thought. How could a human being treat another so callously?

  Lana had to bite her tongue before responding. She promised Dotty five-star reviews. And Dotty had warned her that the guests would keep her on her toes.

  “Okay, I’ll – ”

  Lana heard a click, then grating beeps. She let out a growl before calling the hotel’s receptionist and asking for the extra blankets to be delivered to her room.

  By the time she’d splashed water on her face and pulled her clothes back on, the bellboy had arrived. She tipped him generously, then headed upstairs to room 27.

  The sound of her footsteps disappeared in the plush carpet. As she approached Helen’s room, she could hear shouting coming from the end of the hallway. It sounded like Tom, Helen’s husband.

  “Drop the act, will you? Why do you have to keep this pretense up, even on vacation?” he yelled, his frustration evident. “Nobody cares how much money you have. They’re here to see Budapest. I can’t take it anymore. I miss my wife. I don’t like this person you’ve become since your father died.”

  “How dare you talk to me like that!”

  “Helen, do you realize how badly you treat others? As if they are your servants – even the tour guides! Try treating others with respect and maybe people won’t cheer when you keel over, like they did when your dear ol’ pa finally bit the bullet.”

  Helen laughed a thin bray that traveled easily through the closed door. Lana blushed in embarrassment, wondering whether the occupants of the neighboring rooms could hear them fighting, as well.

  “Really, Tom? You don’t seem to mind spending Dad’s money. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you’d maxed out the company credit card to book this trip? I’m the one who pays all the bills, in case you forgot. You told me you planned this long ago, but you booked it last minute, didn’t you? What is going on? Why are we here?”

  “To see Budapest, why else? You said you wanted to see more of the world.”

  “Yes, Bali, Fiji, Cape Town… but not an eastern European city in the dead of winter. Come on, Tom. We’ve been married too long. What aren’t you telling me?”

  “I need some fresh air.”

  “Don’t you walk away – ”

  Lana backed three steps away from the door just as Tom opened it and stormed out. He slammed right into her, the blow cushioned by the fluffy blankets in her hands.

  “Pardon me,” she said, but Tom was already walking past her to the staircase at the end of the hallway.

  Helen stepped into the hallway and glared at Lana. Her face was free of makeup and covered in a spiderweb of lines that somehow made her look more vulnerable.

  “You took your time,” she snapped, then took the blankets out of Lana’s hands and slammed the door in her face.

  8 Exploring Castle Hill

  December 28 – Day Two of the Wanderlust Tour in Budapest

  Lana greeted her guests heartily, checking to make sure everyone was happy with their breakfast. She was nervous yet excited about her new adventure as a tour guide. Her only hope was that everyone would be in a good mood. That would make the day so much more enjoyable.

  So far, it wasn’t looking promising. Most of the guests had trouble smiling when she greeted them. Only the Hendersons seemed bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

  Helen barely made eye contact when she demanded a cappuccino; her husband looked away when he ordered the same.

  The Fabulous Five were dead quiet, and most had trouble keeping their eyes open. “Ladies, how are you doing this morning?” Lana asked.

  “Alright, I guess. Though I didn’t expect to lose so much at blackjack last night,” Frieda said, her tone cranky.

  “Yeah, well, if you had listened to me and not drawn that last card, you would have won big. But no, you never listen,” Rebecca scolded.

  “It’s not like you did much better,” Frieda grumbled.

  “Three hundred euros is nothing to sneeze at,” Rebecca said with a huff and turned away from her friend.

  “If you could bring over a fresh pot of coffee, we would be grateful,” Sara said.

  “No problem, more caffeine coming up!”

  When Lana turned towards the kitchen, she noticed Jess was nibbling on a croissant while staring at Carl and Sally. Carl appeared to be trying his hardest to ignore Jess completely, yet he wasn’t quite succeeding. Now and again his eyes wandered over to the younger woman and seemed to get stuck there, Lana noted. “Do you need anything else, Jess?”

  Jess shook her head.

  “Another coffee, my love?” Sally asked Carl when Lana came over to take their order. Jess cleared her throat loudly, and Carl cringed.

  Lana shook her head in disappointment. Maybe the Fabulous Five were right about him and Jess. What was he thinking? Lana wondered. Jess had to be half his age. The only consolation was that Sally didn’t seem to notice Jess’s infatuation.

  Lana placed her group’s order with their assigned waiter, then chugged her latte, immediately regretting it. Her tongue burned on the hot milk. She took a drink of water, holding it in her mouth to cool her tongue as she watched the waiter deliver her group’s drinks.

  Lana was certain things were going to come to a head when Jess knocked into Sally’s chair, causing her to spill her coffee. To make matters worse, Jess rubbed her butt against Carl’s arm while Sally was bent over cleaning up the spilled drink. And Carl didn’t push her away.

  Lana’s eyes narrowed. How could Carl do that to Sally? How could he propose to her while he was clearly chasing after another? Lana raced over to help clean up the coffee, using her hip to nudge Jess aside. Jess moved on begrudgingly, her eyes never leaving Carl.

 
As much as Lana was looking forward to their cruise on the Danube River, she was dreading being cooped up with this bunch for two nights. She hoped they could manage to get through the meals without anyone killing another.

  #

  An hour later, their tour bus slipped and slid its way up the windy streets of the Castle Hill neighborhood towards Buda Palace. What Lana thought was one enormous structure was in fact a series of buildings clustered together on the tippity-top of Buda Hill. The architecture was a splendid mix of Gothic, baroque, and Renaissance. Flower beds, snow-covered this time of the year, were dotted about the complex. Lana imagined it would be even more beautiful here in the spring. Imposing statues of regal knights on armored horses and copper-topped monuments turned green from age completed the picture.

  After they entered the complex, they followed the signs towards the History Museum. Carl detached himself from Sally long enough to help Lana find their local guide, a small bespectacled man in his late fifties. He bowed graciously at the group, introduced himself, then immediately launched into his well-rehearsed speech.

  “Welcome to the Royal Palace. Here you can experience the splendor and glory of the Austro-Hungarian Empire and get a glimpse of the lives of the aristocracy. This palace, completed in the thirteenth century, is now recognized by UNESCO as a World Heritage site. We will start our tour by introducing you to the history of the many palaces, museums, and churches located here on top of Buda Hill. We will then visit our History Museum before walking to the upper level of the palace grounds. There we will see Matthias Church and Fisherman’s Bastion. Before we begin, I do want to warn you that despite the grand exteriors, almost none of the original interior decorations or architectural details remain. In fact, most of these structures were rebuilt in their original style after the war ended. When the Nazis occupied Hungary in 1940, they used these buildings as their offices and stripped them clean. Bombs and fires during World War II destroyed the rest.”