Death on the Danube

by Jennifer S. Alderson

  “Great, I appreciate it. I’ll ask my guests when they saw Carl last,” Lana said, her eyes never leaving the half-finished beer. Carl, where are you?

  15 That’s the Girl!

  When Lana returned to the dining room, she was pleased to see that all of her guests were present. Jess sat alone at a table facing the window, an untouched croissant on her plate. The Hendersons were seated close to the Fabulous Five. The widowed friends were all smothering Sally with empathy and affection. Lana hoped it would be enough to pull her through this horribly tough time. At least her ex-husband had shown the decency to split up with her as soon as he found another, instead of waiting until she discovered he had a lover.

  Tom and Helen were seated at a table for two. Lana headed over to them.

  “Helen, Tom, hello. I apologize for being so abrupt, but have you seen Carl this morning?”

  Tom shook his head. “No, we took our time getting dressed and just arrived for breakfast,” he said, his tone brighter and cheerier than usual.

  Helen looked straight ahead, almost as if she was in a daze. In contrast to every other morning so far on the tour, she wasn’t wearing any makeup or flashy jewelry. She looked older and frailer without it. Based on the bags under her eyes, Helen had not gotten much sleep either. Lana wasn’t surprised; she’d heard the couple arguing in their cabin before she’d dozed off. Considering they had fought almost every night of the trip, it wasn’t anything noteworthy. However, in light of the Fabulous Five’s recounting of their gambling night, Lana was curious as to what last night’s marital row was all about and whether it had anything to do with Carl. Had Tom really given Carl money, and had Helen’s accountant told her about it last night? Whatever had driven Helen to the casino, Lana was certain, Carl had not provided Helen with the answer she’d demanded.

  “When did you see him last?”

  Tom made a show of thinking, finally saying, “It must have been when he stormed off the boat. Helen and I were returning to our cabin from the lounge and passed him as he left. We went to bed directly afterwards. Isn’t that right, Helen?”

  Helen twitched at the mention of her name. What’s wrong with her? Lana wondered. “Yes, that’s right,” Helen responded, still not making eye contact with either Lana or her husband.

  “But didn’t…” Lana started to contradict her story and ask about the casino, but she didn’t dare do so in front of Tom. Whatever was going on between them, Lana didn’t want to make it worse. For all she knew, Helen and Carl were having an affair, as well. Or worse, the Fabulous Five’s cataracts were so bad that they confused Helen for another floozy.

  Where was Carl? Between Sally, Jess, and Helen, Lana could imagine that Carl didn’t want to come back and sleep on the boat. She truly hoped he had stayed the night in Budapest. But the cigarette and the half-finished beer said otherwise. And why didn’t Carl think to call her, if only out of professional courtesy?

  “That’s the girl who was making all that ruckus last night!” Margret Henderson exclaimed in a whisper so loud everyone in the room could hear. Lana looked over to see who Margret was referring to, but her husband was lowering her pointed finger. “Shh, you’re shouting again.”

  Margret blushed and looked away in embarrassment. Lana couldn’t tell who her target was, but she seemed to be glaring at Jess. Though realistically, the way they were seated, it could have been Helen or Sally, as well. And when you were ninety, Lana figured, all three qualified as “girl.”

  Harold cleared his throat and looked sheepishly at the group. “You’ll have to excuse us. We had trouble falling asleep last night. I know Margret is as deaf as a doorknob, but she’s quite sensitive to vibrations, and the doors tremor when they close. All the comings and goings last night kept us awake.”

  “It’s no bother, Mr. Henderson. I agree, this boat is a lot creakier and noisier than I had expected,” Lana said. “By the way, when did you or your wife last see Carl?”

  “After he was rescued from the Danube. I don’t recall seeing him after that. We were tired, so we had hot toddies in our room before going to bed,” Harold said.

  Lana considered yelling the same question to Mrs. Henderson, but figured she wouldn’t have seen anything different. The Hendersons were together constantly. Instead, she walked to the front of the dining room to address the group.

  “May I have everyone’s attention? Our guide Carl is missing. Last night was a bit unusual. He may have stayed in Budapest for the night. We are about to dock in Visegrád. A local guide will meet us at the marina and lead you on a five-hour tour of the local sights and a pálinka maker. That’s a fruit brandy and the Hungarian national drink. I am certain you will be in good hands. If no one minds, I would like to stay on the boat and help the crew locate Carl.”

  “Don’t we pay you to accompany us on these trips?” Helen asked. Lana wished she could give it a rest, for once.

  “I guess you do. However this has been one heck of a strange turn of events. I really do need to get in touch with the owner of Wanderlust Tours and let her know what is happening, as well as try to locate Carl. I truly hope no one else will feel inconvenienced if I stay on board.”

  “Of course not, you’ve got enough on your hands, and these local guides are top-notch. I’m certain we’ll be fine,” Frieda said in her booming voice, in a tone that made clear what she thought of Helen.

  “Thank you, I really do appreciate your help. And I know you will have a wonderful day. Enjoy your breakfast. I’ll let you know when the guide is here.”

  16 Sally Confesses

  Lana turned to walk back down to the crew’s quarters when Sally jumped out of her chair and motioned for her to follow her into the lounge.

  “Lana, the girls told me they saw Carl at the casino last night. I was shocked they let him in. He told me he got that black eye from a man at the Tropicana that he owed money to. What if he got himself into more trouble?”

  “I thought you said he ran into a door.”

  Sally looked down at the floor. “Yeah, well, neither of us wanted to admit the truth.”

  “We should tell the captain about this. He can inform the police and have them ask around at the casino.”

  “No! Please don’t tell the police.”

  “Sally, what is going on?”

  “When I arrived in Budapest, Carl told me that he’d been gambling again. The night before I arrived, he lost a bunch of money that he’d borrowed from the wrong people. Some Hungarian gangster was threatening to cut off his finger if he didn’t cough up another ten grand! They’d already taken the Rolex I gave Carl for his birthday, but that wasn’t enough to cover his debt.”

  “Ten thousand dollars? Sally, that’s a lot of money!”

  “You’re right, ten thousand was more than he usually asked for. To be honest, if he didn’t have that black eye, I wouldn’t have believed him. Though it wouldn’t be the first time he tried to cheat someone and got caught. Carl loves to see how far he can push people.”

  “What were you fighting about before he fell overboard?”

  Sally looked away. “He told me that he didn’t want to marry me. I gave him that ten thousand on the condition that we get engaged. To be honest, I was already planning on proposing to him; I even brought the rings with me. But I wasn’t certain he would say yes. When he asked for the money, I figured it was the perfect way for both of us to get what we wanted.”

  Lana sat next to Sally and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Sally, why do you…” Lana couldn’t bring herself to finish the question.

  “Let Carl walk all over me? I honestly don’t know. I have a habit of attracting leeches – attractive ones, though. Even you’ll have to admit that. And I’m not the prettiest of the bunch. I know without my healthy bank account I wouldn’t be able to get anyone like Carl to even look at me. And to his credit, he can be so sweet and attentive. I just wish his love didn’t come with a price tag.”

  “Not all guys salivate over bank accounts.”


  Sally snorted. “Honey, the ones I attract do.”

  “You know, Dotty has a list of Seattle’s most eligible bachelors memorized. Trust me, I know from personal experience. Say the word and I’m certain she’ll find you someone who will treat you like a queen for a change.” Lana squeezed her shoulder.

  Sally tried to grin, but it came out a grimace. “Thank you, Lana. You’re probably right. Dotty never did like me dating Carl, but she was too much of a friend to forbid me from going out with him. Wait, if you’re so certain she can help, why are you still alone?”

  Lana shrugged. “I’m not over my ex yet. I guess it’s easier to give advice than to take it.”

  17 Bringing Dotty Up To Speed

  The crew’s search of the boat’s interior brought them no joy. Lana gazed out at the snow-covered hills and distant mountains, wondering where the heck Carl could be. Despite the problems he clearly had with several women on this tour, Lana figured his loyalty to Dotty would win out. If he hadn’t contacted her, maybe he had gotten in touch with Dotty.

  Lana knew she had to call her boss and tell her the bad news. She was not looking forward to that conversation. But she needed to know whether Carl had been in touch, as well as how she should proceed with the tour if he remained MIA.

  They had three more days before the group flew back to Seattle, and Lana was certain Dotty wouldn’t be able to send a replacement guide to help her. Would she be willing to cancel the last three days? Lana doubted it, unless there was absolutely no other option. But could she really keep the tour going on her own? The thought sent shivers down her spine.

  With much trepidation, Lana dialed Dotty’s number, hoping she wouldn’t mind being woken up so early. Soon her landlord’s sleepy voice came on the line.

  “Good morning, Lana. Is everything okay?”

  “Hi, Dotty. No, it’s not. Carl is missing, and I don’t know whether to cancel the rest of the tour or keep going as planned,” Lana moaned into the phone.

  “The tour must go on, Lana. Our clients have paid for three more days of travel, and by golly that’s what they’ll get.”

  Lana was silent, petrified by the thought of carrying on by herself. Yet realistically, she could handle everything on her own, as long as her group cut her a little slack. Whether Jess or Helen would do so remained to be seen.

  “Lana, are you still there? I know I am asking a lot, but I’ve never had to cancel a tour, and I would rather not start now.”

  “Okay, I think it will all work out. The group will be busy with day trips until we fly back. And most of the guests are pretty easygoing. I can’t guarantee five-star reviews, though.”

  “Oh, don’t you worry about that. Now back to Carl. What do you mean, he’s missing? Did he go off on a gambling binge? I thought Sally would keep a better eye on him.”

  “There were mitigating circumstances, in the form of a twenty-four-year-old waitress who apparently has a serious crush on Carl.”

  “Oh Lord, did that girl Jessica pull the wool over my eyes? I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why a woman her age would want to go to eastern Europe for Christmas, all alone. Now we know.”

  “Unfortunately, Sally knows, too.”

  “Oh God, could it get any worse?”

  A knock on Lana’s door made her jump.

  “Can you hang on one second? It might be the crew with news about Carl.”

  The captain stood outside her cabin door, his hat over his heart. “I am sorry to inform you that we have found Carl’s body.”

  18 New Experiences

  “I’m sorry, Captain, I don’t know what ‘aft’ or ‘starboard’ means.” Lana tried to focus on the man’s words, instead of Carl’s corpse, but she was having trouble processing her thoughts.

  After his men had pulled Carl up on to the deck, they had moved him to their quarters – out of the guests’ sight – and called the police in Budapest.

  Lana had never been in the same room with a newly deceased body, and it was more disturbing than she had imagined. How could this person, so full of life mere hours ago, now lie dead before her? She tried to look at Carl, but his body was so discolored, she couldn’t make herself look for long.

  “One of my men was checking the lifeboat when he noticed a shoe caught up in a fishing net hanging on the backside of the ship,” the captain explained patiently. “The shoe was on Carl’s foot, meaning his head was submerged. Even if he had been alive when he hit the water, he would have only had a few minutes to get himself out. And being tangled up in that net would have made it near impossible, especially when hypothermia began to set in.”

  The left side of his shoulder and head were bashed in because his body had been bumping up against the hull all night, according to the captain. That’s what the thumping noise was, Lana thought as she closed her eyes and let out a cleansing breath, forcing the nausea down. The last thing she wanted to do was puke on Carl’s corpse.

  “Do you think he accidentally fell overboard?”

  The captain gazed at the body on the ground before him. “Yes, I do. He was the last passenger on board. My men pulled up the gangplank as soon as he’d returned, just after two in the morning. If he was already inebriated, then went upstairs to have more alcohol and a cigarette, it is entirely possible he decided to take a look at the water and fell over the railing. It has happened before, but never with fatal consequences.”

  Lana considered the captain’s words. The railings were low enough that he could have accidentally fallen in. The views from the open deck were much more impressive than from inside the plastic enclosure. And in a drunken state, he would have been less aware of the biting cold.

  “The police know your group is out on a tour, but they ask that we return to Budapest as soon as they are back on board so they can question everyone about Carl’s movements last night.”

  “I understand. I’ll inform the owner of Wanderlust Tours and the guests.”

  19 Fruit Brandy and Gold-diggers

  When her group returned from Visegrád, giddy from the fruit brandy tasting, Lana ushered them into the lounge. The look on her face sobered them all up in a jiffy. The Hendersons and Jess sat at one table; Sally was sandwiched between the Fabulous Five on the other side of the room. Tom and Helen sat at a table smack dab between them. Lana had placed carafes of herbal tea and coffee on each table, along with a plate of Hungarian cookies, in hopes of softening the blow.

  “I’m not going to beat around the bush – Carl’s body has been found. It appears he fell overboard late last night, got tangled up in a net, and drowned. We are going to have to cancel the rest of the riverboat cruise and head back to Budapest. The captain said the police will want to question us all before we can disembark.”

  “Why do the police want to talk with us?” Helen asked.

  “From what the captain told me, it’s standard procedure. They’ll probably want to know when you saw Carl last, that kind of thing.”

  Helen pursed her lips and leaned back in her chair, suddenly lost in thought.

  A heart-wrenching moan escaped Sally’s lips, tearing at Lana’s soul. Carl had possessed quite a few horrible traits, but Sally clearly loved him. Lana had informed her of his death before the group returned. Sally’s response had been intense, and Lana figured it would take her weeks to get past this pain. She was glad Frieda and Sara were back on board and could help take care of her.

  “You killed him, didn’t you!” Jess sprung out of her chair, almost hitting Mrs. Henderson in the process as she raced over to Sally. “You knew he was planning on marrying me and tried cutting in line by giving him that fancy ring.”

  “We’ve been dating for almost a year! You’re the jezebel in this scenario, not me!” Sally yelled back. “I’m not blind. I saw you making googly eyes at Carl every chance you got, but I thought he had the sense to stay away.”

  “How dare you! We were in love. He was going to marry me, not you. He said so the last time he was back in Seatt
le. That’s why he changed his will.”

  “Wait – you met him before you came on this tour?” Sally crumpled in her chair.

  Jess, sensing the change, leaned in closer. “Yeah, we spent most of our time sailing. There’s not much to do on board except explore each other’s…”

  “Stop!” Sally screamed, throwing her hands over her ears. “What will are you talking about?”

  ‘”Carl changed his will, leaving me his yacht and tour company.”

  “His yacht and company?” Sally’s hysterical laughter filled the lounge. “Why would Carl need a last will and testament? He had nothing to leave. If the Shoe Fits is mine. And he’s not the owner of Wanderlust Tours; he’s one of the guides. Carl didn’t have two pennies to rub together.”

  “I don’t believe you! You’re just trying to get me to back down so you can run off with what’s mine!”

  “And you are a foolish gold-digger who didn’t do her homework!”

  “Tom, you know that Carl was a businessman. Tell them about your deal,” Jess said.

  Tom looked shocked to be dragged into this conversation. “What deal? I never met Carl before this trip.”

  “Don’t lie! I’ve seen you two holed up in the corner of Lake Union Café, reviewing those maintenance contracts. I know you two were in business together.”

  “You what?” Helen said, glaring at her husband.

  Tom shook his head vehemently. “Young lady, you are clearly mistaken. I never met Carl before arriving in Budapest.”

  “Why are you lying?” Jess shrieked.

  Why indeed, Lana thought. Tom remained steadfast that he and Carl had never met before the trip. Yet based on the conversation she had overhead in the labyrinth, they knew each other quite well. But how could she ask him about it without revealing that she’d been eavesdropping?

  “It wouldn’t be the first time Carl conned somebody. He probably lied about making you his beneficiary so you would stop pestering him to marry you. And it gave him a free pass to get into your pants,” Sally said, her tone as bitter as acid.