Shadows of Mallachrom, Book 1: Blue Fire

by Michelle Levigne

  Her insides seemed to twist into knots. Petroc spoke lightly enough. He even managed a crooked smile and a chuckle. Somehow, though, she thought he was lying. In their childhood, that wrinkle between his eyebrows meant he was frustrated and hurting and fighting not to show it.

  "This whole colony needs a good swift kick in its tailbone." She gestured down the muddy trail that used to be a pathway paved with gravel and lined with flowers, with lighting poles every ten paces. "A colony should grow. Doesn't the Council care?"

  "Maybe they like things the way they are now." Petroc shook his head. "This isn't the way to talk your first day home."

  "No, I suppose not."

  "Especially if you're not staying very long. Why ruin your visit?"

  "Yeah. Visit." She turned away. If she watched him try to smile for two seconds longer, Rhianni suspected she would attack him, fists flying, just like she used to ambush him when they were children.

  The Rovers had taught her enough nasty in-fighting tricks, she could have Petroc flat on his back in the mud inside of ten seconds, with a bloody nose and smashed lip.

  The thought of sitting on his chest like she used to do when they were children--just before he sent her flying in return--shot trembling warmth through her. She didn't want to see blood on that generous mouth. She wanted--

  Down, girl. You're on duty. Rovers never let anything interfere with duty. Not emotions. Not personal interest. Not lust.

  Her insides twisted again. She didn't dare allow these feelings to go any further. Her mission was in jeopardy because she looked at her childhood friend as if he were one of those hotshot pilots who hung around the Rovers' deep space stations and tried to seduce innocent young medics into visiting dark storage rooms.

  Danil came running to rejoin them. Rhianni welcomed the interruption. The air cleared as they walked to her parents' grave. Rhianni knelt and arranged the flowers, purple and gold and white globes that hung heavy on their thin, pale green stalks.

  She had forgotten about pocket flowers, the first to bloom in the spring. When they were children, she and Petroc, his brother, Tam, and Janese and Jongo Brohan had made a game of keeping them in the air until the flowers shredded and fell to pieces. They had always trudged home with their hands and sleeves sticky with sap, breathless, muddy from running about like maniacs.

  "Dada, can Rhianni come with us?" Danil stepped over to her side and leaned against her, putting his little arm across her shoulder. "You want to come? It's fun. Uncle Aric always makes whistles for me and Aunt Maya makes tarts."

  "I wish I could." She gave in to her longing and wrapped her arms around the little boy. He giggled and hugged her tight. "I have to check in with some people and visit my grandmother in Core today," she said as she released him.

  "But--"

  "Aunt Maya wouldn't like having a stranger visit without warning." Petroc reached down and drew his son back away. He gave her an apologetic smile.

  "Yes, she would!" the little boy blurted. "She said she likes new people."

  "It still isn't polite," Rhianni said. She stood, brushing off her knees again. "Besides, I'm settling at QSE, so I'll see you all the time. You do live here, don't you?"

  "Yes, we do." Petroc nodded. A new brightness touched his eyes. Or was that just her imagination?

  Yes, it had to be her imagination, because a moment later that troubled crease settled between his brows again.

  "Then I'll see you when I come back tomorrow."

  "Tomorrow." He nodded. "We're going to be late. They're holding breakfast for us." He took hold of Danil's hand.

  "Tomorrow." She felt foolish, standing there as Petroc led his son across the cemetery.

  "Bye!" Danil shrieked repeatedly, waving with his free hand until he and Petroc disappeared into the forest.

  Petroc's son. She had fought that concept until now. It had been enough of a struggle adjusting to the grown-up Petroc who smiled at her and a moment later acted as if their vow, healed and sealed by the Shadow, meant nothing. Despite knowing he was a grown man, she had held onto the image of the boy she had known and admired, and with whom she had shared mischief and adventures and dreams.

  Wrapping her arms around herself, Rhianni made her way through the ruined gate and down the muddy trail to Burkan's office. She had work to do, contacts to make, information to gather. She was a Rover captain with an important assignment. Rhianni concentrated on that. She would deal with Petroc and his son later.

  Chapter 4

  Petroc let Danil lead the way down the narrow forest trail to Aric and Maya's house. He was grateful his son always turned the walk into an adventure requiring all his concentration. Petroc couldn't have carried on a conversation to save his life.

  The warmth of Rhianni's body, the strength of her arms around him, the feel of her curves pressed against his chest and hip still burned his skin. Her presence lingered, like acid that continued to eat into his muscles and couldn't be washed away.

  That was the trick: make everything negative, before his mind and senses filled with the sweet intoxication she offered.

  He grinned at the curly top of Danil's head and took a few deep breaths to fight the dizzy sensation that didn't fade quickly enough. Up until that moment, the sensible prohibition against single adults touching had never bothered him. It was an accepted fact of life that Taken were twenty times more sensitive to pheromones and sexual attraction than the doctors who tried to turn them into lab animals would ever believe. Petroc had always pitied friends who fought not to let their physical attraction get in the way of duty.

  Now he understood. Amused pity turned to pained sympathy.

  If Rhianni hadn't let go of him when she did, not even the poisonous, synthetic reek of the spaceport that clung to her clothes could have saved her. Strange, how sweet her breath could be even when it stank of processed food and recycled air. Even with all the impurities of shipboard life embedded in her flesh and clothes, she smelled of freedom and sweet life. She vibrated with that spring feeling that made him want to run until his heart burst.

  Petroc suspected if he had given in to that heart-squeezing impulse and kissed her, they both would have been lost. He knew what her mouth would taste like. Sweet and pure, rich with life, powerful enough to knock him off his feet and make him drunk. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop with just a kiss. He wouldn't be able to let go of her until he had embedded himself into her heart, her mind, her body--and fused their souls into one being. That was the way it was when the Taken took a mate. The first time was forever.

  He couldn't do that to her. Every Taken who left Mallachrom died, and so would Rhianni if she mated with a Taken and then her duties took her away. He couldn't condemn her to death.

  He ached too much to laugh at the irony that one simple kiss could lead to something that could fill up all the empty, torn places inside him--and destroy Rhianni's life.

  She had grown up far different from the images woven in daydreams that kept him from going crazy during winter hibernation with the Shadows. Adolescent dreams had given her generous, even life-threatening curves. The Rhianni who smiled and hugged him had the sleekness of a predator. Amazing, how strong, hard muscle could still feel soft when pressed against his hip and chest.

  Her hands were graceful and could probably squeeze the life out of an enemy, but Petroc trembled at the thought of those hands touching his bare skin. They would tickle and burn his flesh and send his heart thundering out of control. The dream Rhianni of his adolescence had squealed and giggled, and he had always dominated her. The grown-up Rhianni who had hugged him such a short time ago would moan and growl and have him begging for mercy. If he ever managed to get her alone and naked. Which he wouldn't. He couldn't betray their childhood oath that way. No matter how much it hurt.

  Her big eyes were still bright, deep-set, filled with mysteries and dreams. Petroc imagined how it would feel to release that thick braid hanging past her waist, comb out her hair with his fingers and bury his fa
ce in the glossy strands, warm with her body heat, sweet with her scent.

  He longed for the unity and oneness that he saw between his mated friends. The thought of the completion, the healing in mind and soul that would come with taking his perfect, destined mate filled him with a hunger that mere sex couldn't satisfy. If he ever lowered himself to try to fill the void with a prostitute--which he wouldn't do.

  Attempting to find some relief would betray Rhianni and the life he had dreamed of with her. Even if she never knew the riches of soul-bonding that were possible between them, he would know. As far as he was concerned, he had made his pledge to her. He would stay faithful.

  He could just never tell her that. She wasn't a Taken. She could never understand. She was better off if she never had a clue.

  "Death sentence," he whispered, to yank his thoughts back on track. He had to get himself under control again, or else his rebellious imagination would affect his scent and reveal his hungers to all the Taken who came into contact with him for the next hour.

  Rhianni had been affected by their brief contact. When she moved downwind of him, he had been relieved and disappointed. Despite the stink of synthetics in her blood, the scent of her momentary physical attraction to him had been more satisfying than a hot meal after a day working in the snow. Thank goodness she had recovered from that momentary, probably unconscious reaction before he lost his own battle for self-control.

  This shouldn't be happening. He consciously pulled his thoughts as far from the Merger as he could. I haven't seen her for more than twenty years. She was gone years before the Talroqi came and everything changed. She wasn't here. She can't understand. She's not a Taken.

  The scar on his thumb burned, as if the Shadow had licked it again for the first time. Petroc rubbed his fingers against his thumb and watched Danil as the little boy scampered through the forest ahead of him.

  Rhianni was the living embodiment of all that had been taken from him when the Talroqi overran Mallachrom. His dreams of being a Rover. His dreams of being free to explore and adventure without thought for responsibility or danger.

  The freedom to experiment with simple things like kissing and falling in and out of love a dozen times in a year. The Taken, being what the Shadows had made them, didn't have that freedom. The first time was forever, and if one partner died, the other often died as well.

  "Gotta send her away," he told a yellow-striped, green-headed bird that flittered down from the top of a tree to cock its head and peer at him. "We promised, best friends forever. If I'm her best friend, I have to protect her. Save her life."

  "What, Dada?" Danil called. He stopped and turned to look at his father so quickly, he twisted off his feet.

  "Nothing." Petroc leaped forward and caught the boy before he fell. "Hungry? Aunt Maya's making griddlecakes."

  "Yeah!" The little boy wriggled free before he quite had his feet under himself again.

  Petroc prayed Rhianni yanked herself free of Mallachrom that quickly.

  He wanted to reach out with his arms and his soul and wrap himself around her. He wanted to explore every corner of her spirit and her body. Strip away every barrier, physical and mental, taste her mouth, skin and soul, learn the texture of her hair and thoughts, tangle his limbs and mind with hers until they had merged into one being.

  Doing that would ultimately kill her.

  Reesa had taken the risk with a transport pilot. Married him, blended her heart and soul with his to the point Dilan had joined the Merger. Everything had been fine for the first three cargo runs he made. Dilan always returned to Mallachrom without any ill effects, so everyone thought he was safe from the mysterious illness that kept the Taken planet-bound.

  After Reesa got pregnant, mechanical problems delayed Dilan's homecoming. He returned an emaciated wreck, too far gone to be healed. He had died in Reesa's arms. His death shattered her mind and she barely lived long enough to deliver their baby.

  Petroc refused to do that to any woman, whether Taken or not. After the tragedy of Reesa and Dilan, the Taken refused to marry outsiders. Especially someone who traveled in space and had to leave the planet at regular intervals. The outsiders could never totally understand what it meant to be a Taken, and the strain affected the marriage, and that discord reverberated into the Merger. With the growing unrest in the Black Pit and the increasing prejudice from the government and Second Wave settlers, it just wasn't worth it. Not even for a soul mate.

  Giving in to his hunger for Rhianni would be her death sentence. Even if Petroc were selfish enough to risk it, to possess her, he didn't have the right to put his own life on the line. The Taken depended on him.

  "I want her," he whispered as he followed Danil into the clearing around his friends' cabin.

  He wanted a lover. He wanted to know the complete physical, mental and emotional oneness that made his married friends glow. It filled the air with an aroma that could drive the unmarried adult Taken crazy with hungers if they were exposed too long. Partly the spicy scent of ever-present sexual awareness, partly the sweet, warm perfume of completion and peace, partly a subliminal vibration that made outsiders feel like they were a song awaiting one final chord.

  Until the Black Pit was erased from the landscape and the Shadows stopped touching his dreams, Petroc knew he was condemned to a life of wanting and a sense of incompleteness.

  It was ironic, he knew, that the very daydreams that had helped him survive those harsh years of hiding with the Shadows were now his torment. No matter how hungry he and the other children had become, no matter how wet the springs, icy the winters or scorching dry the summer, no matter how ragged their clothes, he always had his secret dream life, where Rhianni was his and they were safe. Maybe he hadn't been able to find anyone to join with, soul and body, because he had focused himself so utterly on Rhianni that no one else would do for him. He had to send her away before the lack of her in his heart, in his arms, in his bed rendered him utterly useless.

  Was there something wrong with him, that a few moments of contact after years of absence should affect him so deeply?

  "What took you so long?" Aric appeared in the sunken doorway of the cabin so thickly crusted with moss, it blended into the landscape.

  He climbed up the steps and reached for Danil as the boy ran to meet him. Laughing, he swung him around twice before settling the child on his wide shoulders. His teeth flashed whiter than diamonds in his ebony face and he cocked his shaven head to study Petroc as the other man approached.

  "Maya felt something in the Merger the other night. We were half-scared you weren't coming, because something big happened."

  "Yes and no and yes." Petroc shrugged and said a silent prayer of thanks for the questions to keep Aric from noticing his lingering physical reactions to Rhianni's presence.

  "Wenden's been monitoring the space bands. Dr. Carr is back."

  "Great," he groaned, as they went down the steps into the cabin. "Maybe that's what we felt. The Shadows even know Carr is a menace. Think he got the authority he wanted from the Galactic Council to take custody of all Taken, pack us up and drag us off-planet for more research?"

  "If we felt him coming back, then we'll feel him moving against us, and we'll have warning long before he sends out his goon squad to capture us," Maya called as they stepped into the main room of the cabin. "Where's my Danil? Don't go hogging my favorite boy." She spun from the cooking grid set up over the fire pit and reached out freckled arms for Danil. The little boy giggled and wriggled free of Aric to leap into Maya's embrace.

  "You'll probably get called to Core in a few days, once our friends in the science wing know what's what," Aric said under his breath.

  Petroc nodded and grimaced. Going to Core was like immersing himself in a vat of decomposing corpses. Not nearly as bad as what he had endured when he approached the edge of the Black Pit as a boy, but close enough. Sometimes, he wished he could vanish into the secret settlements with so many of his friends who had faked their deaths or s
imply walked out from under the government's watchful eye. Petroc and other Taken like Aric and Maya lived in the outposts where they could be seen, taking the risk that men like Dr. Carr would get permission to experiment on them, just to ensure their enemies didn't look for the ones who had vanished. His visits to the settlements in the forest were rewards he gave himself for enduring, and medicine to counteract the abuse his body and soul endured for the sake of his duty to his friends and his world.

  When Rhianni was still ten meters from the magistrate's house, the door swung open and Burkan Fray charged out to meet her. He hadn't changed at all in the years since he had retired from the Rovers and settled on Mallachrom. His shoulders were just as broad, his hair still clipped to a layer of black bristles, his brown eyes big and sparkling with laughter. He wore an out-of-date brown Rover jumpsuit. He roared laughter and his arms opened wide. Rhianni ran to him. It was almost like being held by her father, enfolded in his arms, lifted off her feet and spun around once before she was set down again.

  "Girl, look at you!" Burkan hooted. "You're beautiful!" He swung her around once more before depositing her on the porch. "I couldn't believe it when I got my call. My scrambler hasn't made so much as a peep since I retired, and then today Captain Solrak calls to reactivate my commission, and tells me you're carrying Joras's duty." He shook his head as he stepped up on the porch. "I don't know what this universe is coming to, my little girl all grown up and charged with saving a planet."

  "Uncle Burk..." Rhianni didn't quite know how to say it. "You didn't know about all this until just now?"

  "Someone blocked the reports I sent--Solrak knew nothing about them. The General would have told him if anything had gotten through. Standard procedure, girl. No communication when an unknown quantity has the ability or motivation to intercept communication. Even innocent messages from Rover CQ to a supposedly retired Rover."