My Life as an Album (Books 1-4): A small town, southern fiction series

by LJ Evans

  “Hey,” she said and went back to the kitchen. I followed. “You did all that decorating, so I thought I’d make them dinner.”

  “Enchiladas and cake?” I grinned at her through my tiredness. She hadn’t really looked up at me yet. She’d just gone back the counter and continued frosting the cake with strawberry frosting. Strawberry frosting for a strawberry girl.

  “Well, Mia loves sweets, and enchiladas are my specialty so,” she shrugged that self-deprecating shrug that she’d done a lot with me.

  When she was almost done frosting the cake, she stepped back and smiled at it as if it was a stunning piece of art or something. I wanted to laugh because, really, it was a cake that was leaning on its side as if it might fall over at any moment.

  “Have you ever baked a cake before?” I couldn’t resist teasing. I was happy to see her in a different spirit.

  “Look, Monkey Boy, I’m a little tired of you making fun of everything Southern.” She twirled the frosting knife at me, and I grabbed her wrist so that I could lick the frosting off of it.

  The action caused us both to freeze. My hand on her wrist, the knife and her fingers close to my mouth. I slowly licked the frosting while she watched my tongue. She swallowed hard, and her lids closed. At least I knew she was as physically impacted by me as I was by her. Even though I didn’t want her to be. Even though there was no chance in hell of us ever being anything more than people who passed on the outside of the same circle of friends. It was still good for my ego to know she felt it too.

  She pulled away.

  “I’m confused,” I said as she put more distance between us. “How is a strawberry cake a Southern thing?”

  “Well, I’m Southern,” she said matter-of-factly.

  “Yes?” I squinted, still not sure where she was going.

  “So, what I make is Southern,” she responded as if that made perfect sense.

  I chuckled and she frowned. “How’s that funny?”

  “You do realize that isn’t what makes something Southern, right? Just because someone in the South makes something?” I continued my grin.

  “You know nothing of the South. You’ve lived here less than a year,” she said. “And I’m telling you, everything we make is Southern.”

  I just laughed and sat down at the barstool, watching as she found a clean knife and put a couple last swirls on the cake. When she was done, she looked up with a smile again. Not her full wattage one that hit me in the gut, but a real one nonetheless.

  She took me in for a moment. I knew I looked like crap. I hadn’t shaved, and I had dark circles under my eyes. The worry had gotten to me more than the lack of sleep. She seemed to sense it.

  “Were you up all night?”

  I wasn’t going into it. It was the third time I’d refused to talk to her about me. She read my refusal and would have said something, but I waggled my eyebrows at her as if my all-nighter were due to very different reasons.

  “God, never mind,” she tossed at me and moved back toward the fridge. I wasn’t sure she bought it, but idiot Lonnie was good at changing the subject. “Would you like a margarita?”

  “Sure.”

  She pulled out a pitcher that was already full, salted two glasses, poured drinks into them both, and then handed me one as she slid onto the stool next to me.

  I took a sip and coughed.

  “Shit. That’s strong.”

  “Wuss. Can’t handle anything Southern.”

  I laughed. “I swear to God, if you tell me margaritas are Southern, I’m going to have to fly you to Mexico to prove my point.”

  She laughed too. “Mexico sounds awfully good these days.”

  And that’s how Derek and Mia found us. Laughing, drinking margaritas, and acting like the two weeks that they had been gone had just been one big party.

  They were both glowing. From sunshine and love. It suited them. It made me happy. To know that two people, who had needed it so much, had found each other.

  Wynn was off the stool and hugging Mia in a flash. They were full of chatter and hellos as Mia went to find the cat that was slowly making its way down the hallway upon hearing Mia’s voice. Derek gave me a one-armed man-hug, and we took our drinks out back to where the lights and the presents were waiting.

  It was a good night, despite having to tell them about Jane and the pipes. They both seemed to take it in stride, and I was glad, if only because I knew Wynn had been worried about telling them about both. That she’d felt like such a failure for letting things get so out of control.

  I watched as our friends opened their wedding gifts, and Wynn took notes so that Mia could write the thank you cards later. I kept our glasses full with the margaritas, and I offered to drive Wynn home when the night was done.

  She shook her head and said she was good to drive. She seemed good. She seemed like she was past the hill. I hoped again that she was.

  I could feel Derek’s and Mia’s eyes on us the whole time. Wondering. Seeing that we’d bonded in some way over a cat and a leaky pipe. But that was all there was to see. We weren’t them. We hadn’t fallen in love over drama with a cat, and I was determined to keep it that way.

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  The next two days were a blur, working with Derek in the studio at the back of his house, finishing the book cover I owed, and waiting for a phone call from L.A.

  The second night after Derek was back, we hit the bar downtown while Derek waited for Mia to get off the late shift at the dealership. It always amazed me to see Mia in her business mode. Not that she wasn’t always serious. That was more Mia than anything else, but it was weird to see her in charge of a whole business. And yet, it also seemed to fit her.

  After we’d downed a couple beers and watched the baseball game for a while, Derek finally said what I knew he’d been waiting to say since he’d gotten home.

  “So…you and Wynn?”

  I took a swig of my beer. “Nothing there, dude.”

  “You can’t lie to me. I’ve known you too long.”

  “Look. She needed a friend while Mia was gone. I was there. Case closed.” I did hope that it was case closed. Yet I also knew that it was hard as hell to get her off my mind. For more reasons that just a body that made mine jump to attention. Maybe more so because I was worried about another woman whose depression always got the better of her.

  “But you’re attracted to her,” Derek pushed.

  “What fuckin’ idiot wouldn’t be?”

  “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

  I looked over to find Derek serious in a way he normally wasn’t. I’d known Derek long enough to know that he wasn’t going to just let it lie. That was one thing about Derek. He liked pushing people out of their comfort zone. It was why he’d been perfect for Mia when she was all hidden walls. I wondered, if Derek hadn’t met Mia first, if he would have been equally good at pushing Wynn out from behind her manners and self-control. That thought made my stomach lock up. The thought of Wynn and Derek.

  “She’s pretty messed up right now, moron,” I tossed back.

  “Sounds like the perfect time to show her how a real man treats a lady.”

  I laughed. “You writing a new song or something?”

  Derek smirked. “Maybe.”

  We turned back to the baseball game in silence for a few more minutes.

  “You gonna go for it or be a wuss?”

  “Goddamn, man. Let it go.” I frowned.

  “There just seemed to be a lot of chemistry zinging around between the two of you the other night. I hate to see it go to waste.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m also a selfish asshole,” I slammed back. “Dealing with Lita and her messed up shit is enough drama in my life. I don’t need another messed up chick adding to it.”

  “She’s just going through a divorce. She won’t always be sad. Mia says she’s pretty much the sanest one of the group.”

  Derek didn’t know about the
pills. He didn’t know about the babies. Like Wynn had said, she hadn’t told anyone. No one knew. I was the only lucky one to know anything about that, but it wasn’t my place to tell anyone. Wynn would tell whomever when she was ready.

  “You and I both know that looks can be deceiving.” It was all I could manage back.

  “You can’t judge everybody by Lita.” Derek just wouldn’t stop pushing, and it pissed me off.

  “I can’t do it, man. I can’t. I won’t. I don’t want to live my life with a sister and a girlfriend that are both off their rockers.”

  “Then you’ll stay a manwhore forever,” Derek quipped, unmoved by my temper. Derek rarely got upset. Usually, it was just his stupid-ass father that tipped him over the edge. I understood that. It was something we had in common: screwed up parents.

  I shrugged, anger dissolving. Derek just wanted everyone to be as happy as he was with Mia. It was like he couldn’t stand anyone being single after he’d found such bliss as a couple. But finding someone that completed you as perfectly as Mia and Derek completed each other just wasn’t what I wanted.

  “Maybe,” I said. “But better a manwhore than a man who can’t leave his house without worrying about what the woman he loves is going to do while he’s gone.”

  That put a damper on things. Derek finished his beer, slammed the bottle down, and then turned toward me with determination in his eyes.

  “Tell her about Lita.”

  “Nah, that’ll just screw with her head more.”

  “Mia’s right. You’re an idiot.”

  “Maybe, but better an idiot than a moron.”

  “This moron gets to go home every night to that sexy-as-hell woman who calls me that, whereas you go home to an empty apartment.”

  “I could always get a cat.” I smirked.

  Derek slapped me on the back and stood up. “Speaking of cats and my sexy woman, I gotta go.”

  “You’re so whipped.”

  Derek smiled that huge smile of his. “Yep. And I love every minute of it. I think you would too, if you let yourself.”

  Then he was gone, leaving me with the bill, a half-finished beer, and a bunch of images whirling around in my brain, half of which had a model-gorgeous redhead in them.

  All those thoughts went out the window when my phone rang with an L.A. area code.

  “Hello?”

  “Mr. Brennan?”

  “This is Lonnie Brennan.”

  “I’m calling from the L.A. County Child Protective Services.”

  And my whole world flipped over.

  Parties & Recovery

  EVERYBODY NEEDS A HERO

  “Everybody needs a hero,

  Someone who always knows the way,

  Just when you're sure you've really gone astray

  You always save the day.”

  Performed by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

  Written by Anders / Laguna

  Wynn was sitting at the desk in Doctor Morris’s waiting room when Mia walked in with the kitty carrier. Wynn had been surprised when he called and asked her if she’d cover for his receptionist while she was out on maternity leave for six weeks. But then again, she shouldn’t have been surprised. Everyone always knew everything about everyone in this town. It was obvious he’d heard that she didn’t have a job at the moment.

  It should have embarrassed her that everyone knew how she’d freaked out at the hospital and given her notice, but for the first time in a long time, it didn’t. She was tired of being embarrassed over things she couldn’t control. It had happened. She’d freaked out. It was probably for the best.

  She just wished Lonnie hadn’t had to witness it all.

  After Mia and Derek had gotten home, Wynn had gone back to her parents’ house and told her mama about the babies. It had felt good to get it off her chest. To tell someone she loved. Her mama had held her while she cried, crying with her. Then she told her that she thought she should go talk to the therapist in town. The same one that had helped Cam when she lost Jake. Had helped the whole Phillips and Swayne families when they’d lost their football god to kidney failure. Mama had also surprised her by suggesting she talk to Cam’s mom because she’d lost a baby before she’d ever had Cam. Wynn hadn’t known that.

  She hadn’t talked to Andrea, but she had gone to the therapist. It was a good step. A positive one. And after a couple visits, Wynn was feeling like she might be able to move forward again. It was going to be a long road, and she knew there would be many steps backwards as well as forward, but eventually she’d have just a scar instead of a gaping wound in her heart.

  It sucked having no real job and living at home with her parents at twenty-five. But she knew that that was just temporary too. That something would come out of it all. She’d been debating with herself about going back to school and getting her teaching credential. Teaching would be a way she could still help kids. On the other hand, she was better with little ones than older ones. So she was just letting the idea sit in her brain for a while, trying not to jump at something just to fill the void.

  The therapist said she needed to heal the void rather than shove things into it. It made sense.

  Mia smiled at her. “It’s so weird to see you here.”

  “Don’t get used to it. I’m just helping until Melissa is back.”

  “It doesn’t really suit you anyway.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “I just mean sitting at a desk all day isn’t really you,” Mia tried to justify her answer.

  “I’m not Cam. I can sit still for more than ten minutes.”

  They both smirked knowingly.

  “Are you here to get the stitches out?” Wynn asked. When Mia nodded, Wynn added, “I’m sorry about the bouncy ball.”

  “Stop, you’ve said it enough. This cat is going to be the death of us. We probably should just start a medical trust fund in her name.”

  “Where’s Derek?” Wynn asked.

  “He’s working in the studio on some new song that Lonnie put in his head.”

  Wynn looked down at the desk, trying to keep her face neutral. “So, Lonnie’s there too?”

  “Why do you want to know?” Mia asked, and when Wynn looked up, her friend was smiling at her with a knowing smile.

  “Don’t even smile at me that way.” Wynn shook her head. “I’m not asking because I’m interested in him like that.”

  “Are you sure? There was a lot of chemistry with the two of you the other night.”

  Wynn groaned. “God no! I just got divorced! I’ve kind of decided that men and I are not meant to be.”

  “Are you trying to tell me you’re into girls now? Because I know some—”

  “Knock it off.”

  “What? There’s nothing wrong—”

  “Stop. I know. There’s nothing wrong with being lesbian. But I’m not. I’m just done with men. Or at least done with relationships with men.” Wynn waggled her eyebrows.

  “Did you pick that up from Lonnie? Because I swear you looked just like him when you did that.”

  Wynn laughed.

  “So where is Lonnie if he isn’t at the studio with Derek?”

  “He’s in L.A.”

  “What? For how long?” Wynn asked, surprised.

  It was Mia’s turn to laugh. “Are you sure you aren’t interested in him?”

  “Can’t I just be his friend and want to know because of that?”

  “Sure.”

  “So?”

  “What?”

  “Why is he in L.A.?” Wynn rolled her eyes at Mia.

  “Family issues.”

  “Oh.”

  Silence. “I’d tell you, but Lonnie’s pretty private about his family life. And I can keep a secret.”

  Mia was called back before Wynn could retort or find out anything else. When Mia came back out, Wynn was on the phone with Mrs. Landers who was having a heart attack because her cock-a-poodle had gone poop
twice in an hour.

  Wynn was pretty sure she would barely get through the six weeks in this job without losing her patience with Mrs. Landers. She called every day with some issue. It made Wynn wonder if Mrs. Landers was really just calling to get Doc Morris’s attention because they were both widowed.

  She wasn’t sure how people could do that. Live their entire adult lives with someone they loved and then move on once they’d died. She was having a hard enough time moving on from Grant when they’d been married barely two years. She still wasn’t sleeping on his side of the bed. She still wasn’t sleeping well at all. She still went to ask him what time he wanted the alarm set for at night. She still went to the wine section of the grocery store even though she’d never really been as into wine as he had been.

  She waved goodbye to Mia and tried her best to assuage Mrs. Landers’ concern while promising she’d have Doc Morris call her back.

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  Two weeks later, Wynn drove out to the Abbott ranch where Cam and Blake were having Mayson’s first birthday party. She’d overdone it on the presents, but it felt good to splurge on a little one.

  She was never going to be able to spoil her own little one. Her stomach churned. She’d had six counseling sessions in three weeks, and the therapist had told her not to talk like that. Like there was never going to be a happily ever after in her future. But at the moment, Wynn wanted nothing to do with men. With relationships. And that meant no babies. Not unless she decided to go to a sperm bank someday, and that wasn’t really her either. She didn’t want to raise a baby on her own. She wanted to raise a baby as part of a family.

  Except, she didn’t want that either, she reminded herself.

  When she got to the ranch, she made her way to where the crowd was gathered with Cam at the center as always. Mayson was on her hip, pulling at her hair and making babbling noises that sounded like he was trying to interrupt. His hair was the dark brunette color of Cam’s but was all Blake’s shagginess.

  When Mayson saw Wynn, he smiled and reached out his little hands. She missed him. She hadn’t been able to see him as much since she moved home while Cam and Blake still lived in Nashville.