My Life as an Album (Books 1-4): A small town, southern fiction series

by LJ Evans

  “Which is?”

  “Lolita.”

  “Wow. Really?” Wynn asked in disbelief.

  “Rochelle is an English Lit professor at UCLA,” I explained.

  “And she named her daughter Lolita, like after the book?”

  I could do nothing but nod. There wasn’t really another response.

  “Way to set expectations,” Wynn said.

  “I know, right?” I shrugged.

  “So you’re named after?”

  I relented. There was no way I was getting out of this without telling her the truth. “A figure from Greek mythology.”

  “Sorry, I failed every class that ever had anything to do with mythology. You’ll have to tell me straight up. I can’t even guess. I only know the big gods, like Zeus, and Hera, and Hades.” I couldn’t imagine her failing anything, but I ignored her lie and resorted to telling her the truth.

  “Leander.”

  Wynn frowned, thoughtfully. “Leander? I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard of a myth with a Leander in it.”

  “It’s after the story of Hero and Leander.”

  “Sorry. Still don’t know it.”

  I looked away from her because her smiley face wearing my clothes, in my bed, was still too much. “Hero was one of Aphrodite’s priestesses, and she fell in love with a guy who lived across this strait from her. Every night he would swim across to meet her. They had sex, Aphrodite got pissed, and one night she made the seas so rough that Leander drowned. When Hero saw Leander’s dead body, she threw herself off the cliff to be with him.”

  “Wow,” she said again.

  “A real Romeo and Juliet kind of thing.” I waggled my eyebrows, and she smiled at me.

  “But wait. I don’t get it.”

  “What don’t you get?” I asked.

  “Where does Lonnie come from then?”

  “Leander.”

  “Lonnie is nothing like Leander.”

  I scratched my chin some more. I didn’t have an answer again. “I don’t know. Lita always called me Lonnie. Maybe she had trouble with her words the same way Edie does.”

  “Does your mom call you Lonnie, too?

  “Hell no. She only calls me Leander.”

  Wynn put the pillow over her face to hide her laughter, but it did nothing to hide it. I poked her in her side, and that only made her laugh harder, which led to me full on tickling her, and she squirmed and laughed so hard, she uncovered her face and gasped for air. She pushed against my hands, but that just meant our hands got tangled, and that did still mine. Because every time our skin touched, there was something that passed between us.

  She pulled the pillow back against her body, and I removed my hands, placing them on my chest where I hoped to keep them tethered.

  “There is no way I can ever call you Leander with a straight face,” she told me.

  “Please don’t.” I grimaced at her.

  We turned back to the television and Charmed. After a long time, when my eyes had almost started to droop, she brought me back to her. “Leo would be a way better nickname for you,” she said with determination in her voice as she watched the blonde, muscled guy on the screen, and I tried not to be jealous of a fictional character.

  “You really like this show,” I said.

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about her naming me after the guy who seemed to be the sisters’ guardian angel or something. I wasn’t really paying attention to the show. I was paying attention to the tapping of Wynn’s fingers on the pillow in a way that made it thrum. The thrum seemed to go straight to the pulse of the energy that I could feel winging its way back and forth in between us.

  “It’s as close to Leander as Lonnie is.”

  “You really want to name me after some tool from a failed TV show?”

  “You’re kidding me, right?” She sat completely up in protest, hands swinging in exclamation. The sheet fell away, and I could see that she was not only in my t-shirt, but a pair of my sweats, and I had to look away before I embarrassed myself with a hard-on I couldn’t control. “This is one of the best series ever made. Like I said—cult classic. It has everything. Romance. Suspense. Action. Magic.”

  “Seems pretty lame to me.” But I said it just to continue to wind her up. To see her face full of passion. Even if it wasn’t the kind of passion I really wanted to see.

  “Oh my God. I am so making you watch this series. All of it. Before they start the reboot, which will be questionable in its authenticity and quality.”

  “There’s gonna be a reboot?”

  “Leo, we are so going to have to fix the holes in your Charmed education.”

  I grinned. At the Leo. At her telling me she was sticking around long enough to make sure I fixed anything in my life. It was something that would be easy to get used to, having someone looking after me. I’d pretty much always been the one to take care of everyone else. It was what I was good at. Except with Edie and Lita. With them, I’d failed miserably.

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  The next morning, I woke to the smell of coffee and soft voices. I wasn’t used to waking up to anything except silence, or lately, Edie’s little hand on my face, making sure I was still there. As I thought of Edie, I jerked myself to my side and saw that her bed across the hall was empty. I groaned and sat up before the sight of Wynn’s scrubs on my dresser caught my eye.

  Everything came back to me. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen asleep with her in my bed. And not naked in my bed, but still clothed, without a smile of satisfaction on either of our faces.

  I got up, realizing I was still in what I’d had on yesterday, but I didn’t stop to change before I made my way out to the kitchen.

  Edie was on the counter with a bowl of raw scrambled eggs in her lap. She was mixing them with a whisk, a frown of concentration on her face as if it was essential that she do it right.

  Wynn stood next to her, coffee cup in hand, still in my clothes. Feet bare. Sweats rolled at the ankles but not by much. She just watched as Edie stirred. Wynn had her own look of fascination on her face, taking in my niece.

  It stabbed me in the gut like Wynn was so good at doing. Because I knew she was probably thinking of her lost babies. Every time that happened, it made me angry as hell at Lita. For taking for granted the beautiful gift she’d been given in her daughter. Of not rising to the challenge of being a mom, but sinking further into whatever world went on inside her head. I knew that wasn’t fair. I knew she didn’t have a choice. That her brain just went where it went. Depression and anxiety were called a disorder for a reason, but I still couldn’t quite forgive her for treating her daughter like one of her disposable friends.

  “Morning,” I said, reaching for the coffee pot. They both looked up and smiled at me. I was getting used to seeing Wynn’s real smile on her face when she looked at me. Her lip quirking. It made my pissed heart turn soft. She hardly ever had her fake smile on any more. Not with me. Not with Edie.

  “Hey, we were making you breakfast in bed,” Wynn said.

  I kind of choked on the coffee I’d gone to take a sip of. Because breakfast in bed with Wynn in the daylight was almost worse than being in bed with Wynn at night when I could convince myself it was just a dream. A wet dream.

  “I’m awake now. How can I help?”

  “Go shower,” Wynn said.

  “Do I stink?” I sniffed at myself. I wasn’t princely, but I wasn’t as bad as a boxing ring either.

  “Nonnie stink!” Edie giggled.

  “I’ll make you stink,” I said, taking the bowl from her hands and wrapping her up against my chest. She giggled and pushed away, but I still got to rub my scruff on her cheek, which only made her laugh harder.

  “Down. Down.”

  I obliged and she took her teddy from the counter and ran off toward the main room, expecting me to give chase. I didn’t feel like chasing. I wanted to stare some more at the redhead in my kitchen.

  “Thanks for
taking care of Edie. Why didn’t you wake me when she got up?”

  Wynn shrugged. “It was so cute when she patted my face; I couldn’t really resist. It seemed silly to have us both awake.”

  Wynn had been on my side of the bed. It would have been the side that Edie reached first, but that wasn’t what I was thinking. I was thinking about how it must be for most married couples, or at least couples that were parenting together. Taking turns like this. Not having to be “on” twenty-four seven like I’d had to be since Edie was left in my care.

  “Don’t overthink it, Leo,” she said, trying to suppress a smile and a giggle at the name. “Just go shower so I can do the same.”

  I wanted to haul her curvy ass into the shower with me, instead of after me. I wanted to hear her say that new name in a whole different tone than a tease. I wanted to be able to touch every single part of that body that she rocked.

  Instead, I just rolled my eyes like I hated the name and took my coffee with me. I stopped at the edge of the counter and looked back, waggling my eyebrows. “Care to join me?”

  She threw a kitchen towel at me, and I just laughed and left. But damn if I wasn’t disappointed.

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  Two hours later, I’d showered and we’d had breakfast—all of us—at the table that we hadn’t sat at since Wynn was with us. Edie and I had taken to eating on the couch, with her at the coffee table. I don’t know why. It was easier to eat at the table, especially considering the mess that Edie somehow seemed to make out of every single meal. But we hadn’t. We’d only eaten at the table with Wynn.

  I was cleaning up in the kitchen when Wynn came in with her bag over her shoulder and her scrubs in her hands.

  “I’m going home to shower and change, but I’m coming back with my Charmed box set.”

  She didn’t say it like a request. Like, is it okay if I come back? She just said it like it was a fact. Nothing I had a choice over. And like ordering my meal for me at the Dairy Queen, it was kind of a turn on. That she could be confident enough in herself, and what was good for me and her, that she could just say it that way.

  I grinned. “Still trying to convince me that I want to be named after a guy in a tween soap opera?”

  “Cult classic,” she corrected me. Her feathers were ruffled at my comment. I liked it.

  “Maybe I’ll just keep my own name,” I teased more.

  She rolled her eyes. “Okay, Leander.”

  I couldn’t help but groan. “Please. God. Don’t do that.”

  “Why not, Leander?”

  I stepped toward her, and she stepped back toward the door. “I’ll be back, Leander. And you can decide which name you’d prefer me to use.”

  Then she was out the door before I could tell her there were a whole hell of a lot of names that I could come up with that would be damn better than either Leander or Leo. Names that I’d want to hear her say in bated breath as we were touching each other, filling each other. Names that could be whispered or screamed, either way.

  But then Edie ran after Wynn. “Wynn!” She threw her arms around Wynn’s legs. Wynn looked down in shock; a wave of emotion crossed her face.

  “Hey, Edie girl, what’s wrong?”

  “No leave!”

  Wynn’s face expressed every emotion that my heart felt. The sadness. The anguish. The shock of having Edie cling to her like a leaf to a tree in a rainstorm.

  “I’m gonna be back. I’m gonna leave now, but I’ll be back before you even eat lunch.”

  “Promise?” Edie asked without letting go. Wynn lifted Edie and her bear up into her arms and hugged her.

  “I promise.”

  I finally got my legs moving and went to the door where I claimed Edie from Wynn’s arms. Our eyes met, exchanging anguished thoughts without words. Wynn swallowed hard and then left. Edie put her head down on my shoulder.

  “I’s like her.”

  And really, what could I respond to that? The only appropriate response was, “Me too.”

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  When Wynn got back, I had my computer on my lap, and Edie was curled up next to me, “helping me” in a way that only a toddler can help. Which was to say that everything I did on my computer, she undid with her sticky fingers.

  Wynn looked and smelled like berries all over again. Fresh and pink with that scent she always seemed to have flying over me as she leaned in to kiss the top of Edie’s head. She was in another pair of jean shorts and a girly top that seemed to slide off her shoulder more than stay on. She had a tank top on underneath it, but it still made my hands itch to follow the flow of the silky material.

  After Wynn had kissed Edie’s head, she stopped and moved a hand to her forehead.

  “She’s really warm.”

  “What?”

  I followed her action by placing my own hand on Edie’s head. It was like a little oven. Like she’d been sunbathing at the lake.

  “Holy shit.”

  When I looked down into her little face, her eyes were a little glossy, and she looked tired in a way that my energetic niece rarely looked even when she was about to pass out.

  “Do you have any children’s Tylenol?”

  “Why on earth would I have that?”

  Wynn looked down at Edie and back at me. It might seem logical to her that because Edie was in my life that I would also have children’s medicine in my cabinet, but I’d barely gotten used to having regular Edie in my life, let alone a sick Edie.

  “I’m assuming you don’t have a thermometer either?”

  I just shook my head.

  “I’ll go get a few things.” She lifted her purse back on her shoulder.

  “Shit. I’ll go. You stay,” I said, pushing the computer onto the coffee table and standing.

  “Do you know what to get?” Wynn asked.

  “Um…no, but you can tell me.”

  She smiled. “It’ll be quicker if I just go. While I’m gone, get a cool washcloth and put it on her forehead and neck.”

  She was gone, the door banging behind her while Edie and I stared at each other.

  “Does your head hurt, Chicken Lips?”

  Edie considered me with a shrug.

  “Okay, you stay here, I’ll be right back.”

  I took off down the hall, grabbed her pillow and blanket from her bed, got a washcloth and wet it down, and then joined her back on the couch.

  I made her comfortable and then placed the washcloth on her forehead. She pushed it away. “Cold.”

  “I know, kid, but it’ll make you feel better.”

  “I’s tay.”

  “No, you’re not okay.”

  “I’s sick?” Edie’s eyes looked huge. Like saying the same words that we’d used about her mom registered in her little brain.

  “Not like your Mommy, Edie. Different sick. This sick will go away soon.”

  My heart constricted because it was the first time I’d said those words and realized that Lita’s sickness wasn’t going to ever go away. I’d yelled and screamed that at Mark and Rochelle enough growing up, telling them that what Lita had couldn’t be fixed with a therapist and motivation. But saying it to Edie was like a reality check to me as well. Lita wasn’t going to ever be able to take care of Edie the way she needed to—like a mom—because Lita’s disease would always take precedence.

  When Wynn walked back in, she must have sensed the tension in the air that had nothing to do with our bodies. She placed the thermometer in Edie’s ear and pulled it out when it beeped. “It’s one hundred and one.”

  “Shit.”

  “It’ll go down once we have some Tylenol in her.”

  Wynn expertly administered the Tylenol and then handed Edie a popsicle that she’d bought as well.

  “The Tylenol will make her sleepy,” Wynn promised.

  “Well, heck, I could have used that a few nights ago.”

  Wynn laughed. “You’ve gotten her on more of a sche
dule than she was even a few weeks ago.”

  It was a compliment, but I didn’t really see it. Edie had my life so turned around that I wasn’t sure a schedule was anything close to what we’d come up with.

  I watched Edie suck her popsicle, and Wynn must have noticed how worried I was.

  “She’s gonna be fine, Leo.”

  She said the name as a tease. I don’t think she’d ever really call me it seriously. But because she’d said it, it made me relax a little.

  “Let’s put the show on, and we’ll check her temperature again in about a half hour.”

  So, we did what Wynn told us. She took care of us both. Me because I was worried like crazy, and Edie because she was sick. Wynn knew exactly what to do. She was calm, thorough. It made me realize she must have been a really good nurse. It made me sad that she felt like she had to give that up because life had been shitty to her. No, that some dickwad named Grant had been shitty to her and thrown her to the wind even with all their losses.

  I sat with Edie’s feet in my lap on the couch. Wynn curled her long legs up into my gaming chair, and we watched Charmed. I still didn’t really like being named after a “whitelighter” or whatever the hell this guy was supposed to be. A guy who had clearly been written to be idolized by teen girls everywhere.

  But when I looked over at Wynn and saw the smile on her face as she watched the show, I thought maybe it wasn’t a bad thing after all. If she liked this character enough to smile while watching him, then maybe she would smile at me that way while saying my new name.

  We stopped the episodes several times to take Edie’s temperature and keep the washcloths cool. She never really got better. By the end of a couple episodes, Edie’s temperature had actually gotten worse. It crawled up to one hundred and two.

  I was a little panicked when even Wynn frowned.

  “I’m sure it’s just a cold that will work itself out, but maybe we should take her to the doctor just in case.”

  “The doctor,” I said without emotion because…what doctor?

  “You haven’t gotten a doctor for her here yet, right?” Wynn said, acknowledging what she already knew. I just nodded.