Whiskey For Breakfast

by Liliana Hart

  I drove into Savannah and turned onto 53rd Street to head into my neighborhood. It was a workday, so there weren’t many cars parked in driveways, but I knew every member of NAD had their binoculars pointed in my direction when I pulled in front of my house. A bright red Corvette sat in the driveway so I couldn’t park there.

  I sat in the car for a few minutes and thought things through. They’d notice I was wearing yesterday’s clothes and no bra right off. Well, probably Spock wouldn’t notice but Mrs. Rodriguez and Byron would for sure. And they’d tell Savage. There was no way they wouldn’t. I didn’t really know how I felt about it. I liked Savage a lot and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but he wasn’t the man for me.

  I grabbed my purse and ran to the front door with my arms over my chest. I unlocked the door and found Phoebe in the kitchen standing over the coffee pot. She wasn’t normally a morning person. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her up before noon.

  My phone rang just as I set my stuff down and my eye started twitching. I knew it had to be my mother.

  “Addison, this is your mother,” she said, when I answered the phone. “Why aren’t you wearing a bra? Are you back together with Nick?”

  “Dammit.” I went to the front curtains and looked out. “Who’s the snitch? I just walked in the front door for crying out loud.”

  “Mothers never have to reveal their sources. Someday when you’re a mother you’ll find this out. I wanted to remind you about dinner tonight. I’m making stuffed shells. I got the recipe off Pinterest.”

  “Sounds great. I don’t know about Nick though. He might have to work.”

  “He’s got to eat sometime. This is why you always get the ring on your finger before you give away the goods. He’s got no surprises left with you. How are you supposed to keep him this time?”

  “Someone’s knocking at the door,” I lied. “I have to go now.” I hung up and thunked my head against the wall some more. I was probably going to develop a permanent lump in my forehead if I kept it up, but it was better than putting a rifle in my mouth.

  “That must have been Mom,” Phoebe said. “You always get that twitch in your eye when she starts talking about marriage.”

  Phoebe was dressed in another ripped pair of jeans, a white stretchy shirt, and a black leather biker jacket. She had on black studded boots with four-inch heels.

  “You’re up early.”

  “I’ve got a couple of appointments to check out some studio space with a realtor. Tell me about the guy across the street. Are you doing him?”

  I could tell by the look in her eyes she was interested and a light bulb went off over my head. This was perfect.

  “I’m not doing him. He’s a friend. He’s also an FBI agent. Go for it.”

  “I caught sight of his socks as he was walking back across the street. Kinky.” She rinsed her cup in the sink and grabbed an oversized leather bag she slung over her shoulder. “I’m interested, but I don’t know if I could sleep with him. I’ve never had sex with someone who looks like a superhero before. You think he has special powers in bed?”

  “Most definitely. The superhero thing was pretty much my hang-up too. It’s fucking intimidating.”

  Phoebe left to go studio hunting and I headed to my room to change clothes. I was feeling a little vanilla after standing next to Phoebe. Which was pretty much the story of my life. I put on my best red push-up bra and matching thong, tight jeans, and a red sweater that showed a lot of cleavage. I put on matching suede boots with sky-high heels that I’d regret wearing in a couple of hours. I took extra time on my makeup and then stood back and observed.

  I thought about getting a streak of color in my hair or a nose ring like Phoebe but that was a little outside of my comfort zone. Maybe I should try for the tattoo instead. Somewhere where no one would see it.

  I called Rosemarie as I went back into the kitchen to grab my stuff.

  “Are you still skipping school today?”

  “I’m not skipping. I’m taking mental health days. Leroy is a machine.”

  Leroy didn’t look like a machine to me. Leroy looked like The Penguin. “Is he still there?”

  “Nah, he’s at work. He’s going to pick me up for dinner with his parents. I’m a little nervous.”

  “I’m sure it will be fine.” I was lying of course. It was going to be a disaster of epic proportions. Probably as bad as dinner with my family. “Do you want to drive to Jacksonville with me today? I need to talk to someone for one of my cases.”

  “Can we stop at the outlet mall on the way back?”

  I mentally juggled the money in my checking account and added up how much room I had on my credit card. “Sounds good.”

  I disconnected from Rosemarie and immediately dialed Nick.

  “Couldn’t go without hearing my voice, huh?” he said.

  “What would it take to get you to have dinner with my mom and Vince tonight?” There was silence on the other end for a couple of minutes and I thought he might have hung up.

  “How do you feel about anal sex?”

  “Does it have to take place in the anus?”

  More silence. “I can’t think of a good enough payback for dinner right now. I’ll go, but then you’re going to owe me big time.”

  I disconnected and worried briefly about what I’d just agreed to. I clenched my butt cheeks and then headed out to the car. The blue Toyota was parked next to it, the engine running and the passenger window rolled down.

  I froze as Smash Nose brought his finger up like a gun and went Bang! He smiled and then the car drove off down the street. I realized I’d been standing there a while when Mr. Walner came out from next door to get his mail and he let out a wolf whistle.

  “Nice rack, chickie. Don’t see ‘em made like that very often.”

  I did a half smile, half grimace and hurried to the car. My cell phone started ringing as soon as I turned over the engine and I knew it was my mother. I let it go to voicemail and looked across the street at Jemimah Blaze’s house. She was standing at the window holding the curtain back so she could see.

  Damn carnies.

  ***

  I did a quick swing by the agency to see if any new information had surfaced about the Tannenbaum murder. I could have probably asked Nick but he’d distracted me with the whole anal sex thing.

  I found an open parking meter and scrounged at the bottom of my purse for nickels and dimes. I was fresh out of quarters.

  Lucy wasn’t manning the front desk when I walked in. I was pretty sure vampires never had to go to the bathroom, so my second best guess was she was in the filing room. Kate’s office door was open and she was behind her desk, her face buried in the papers she was going over. I closed the door and headed to my usual chair.

  “What’s new?” I asked.

  “Jerry Missner has decided to retire so I’m about to be short an agent, all this rain has caused a leak in the upstairs conference room, and I think I’m pregnant. Other than that things are peachy.”

  My mouth dropped open and it took a second for my brain to catch up with the words. “You’re pregnant?”

  “I think I’m pregnant. I haven’t found the courage to buy one of those little tests yet.” And then Kate burst into tears. Kate never cried. I mean never. Not when she broke her arm in two places when we were in the fourth grade and not when her date to the senior prom stood her up for the head cheerleader.

  A couple of months ago, she’d been convinced that her husband Mike was cheating on her and that was one of the only times I can remember that she cried. It turns out Mike just had a bit of a gambling problem, but since then he’d been going to counseling and things seemed to be good between them. I couldn’t tell if these were happy tears or ones of pure panic.

  I hopped up and went behind the desk. Her head was down on the papers she’d been reading and she was soaking them through. I patted frantically at her back and looked around the office in panic for some inspiration. I wasn’t sure wh
at to do. Kate was always the one who could handle anything.

  “Are you excited or not excited about having a baby? You’ve got to help me out here. Have you told Mike?”

  “I—” sniffle, “Don’t—” sniffle, “Know.”

  “You don’t know if you told Mike?” I asked, confused. “That seems like a conversation you might remember.”

  “I don’t know if I’m excited.” She wiped her face with her hands and I was glad Kate hardly ever wore makeup or she’d be in a real fix right now. “What do I know about babies? I’ve never had one before. Suppose I do it all wrong.”

  “You’ll be an awesome mother. You’ve got lots of common sense and you’re good at keeping people out of trouble. You’ve been doing it for me for years.”

  I pulled a couple of Kleenex’s from the box on her desk and put them in her hands, and then I went to the sideboard and grabbed a chocolate éclair, which was Kate’s favorite. “You probably shouldn’t have coffee,” I said and rummaged in the mini fridge for a bottle of water. “Drink this. You don’t want to get dehydrated.”

  I put my hands on my hips and paced back and forth in front of her desk. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You need to take a test so you know for sure.”

  “I don’t have time today. I’ve got nothing but meetings. And I can’t do it once I get home because Mike will be there.”

  “I’ve got to do dinner with my mom and Vince, but I can pick one up for you and you can take it at my house. You can come with me to catch Carly Mathis in the act so you don’t have to lie to Mike. Just tell him you’re helping me with a job.”

  Kate’s tears had started to dry up and she inhaled the éclair. “I can do that. I’m glad you stopped by. I feel better now.”

  “That’s what friends are for, babe. Have you heard any rumblings about Johnny Sakko and the free clinic over on Bayonette Street?”

  Kate’s eyebrows raised so high I thought they were going to shoot off the top of her head. “More than rumblings. They’ve got bad business happening over there. The cops have been sniffing around there for months, but they haven’t come up with anything. Word is that Sakko is a silent partner in the clinic and it’s one of his fronts for the drugs he pushes through the city.”

  “I got the word from my guy we set up the sting with the other night at Mambo. They caught the valets red handed using the car to pick up a pretty large shipment of marijuana from the docks. More than half a million dollars in bricks were confiscated. The cops couldn’t get either of them to rat on Sakko though. The FBI came in and took over at that point and the two valets went into a safe house.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Are the FBI and Savannah PD working on this together?”

  “That’s the rumor. They’re keeping everything pretty close to the vest. That cop they found the other morning was in Sakko’s pocket, so they’re keeping the inner circle pretty small on this one.”

  I had a feeling I knew exactly who belonged to that inner circle.

  ***

  Rosemarie was waiting outside for me when I pulled up in front of her duplex. She was back to her normal wardrobe, thank God. She wore a denim skirt, a white cableknit sweater, and brown boots. Her cheeks were back to apple dumpling pink and her hair was back to Farrah Fawcett. She had on a complete set of wooden jewelry made of alphabet blocks. She was in teacher mode today, which I thought was odd considering she was taking the day for mental wellness.

  Nick’s car had Sirius radio, so we fiddled around with it and decided it was a nineties kind of day. Rosemarie spent most of the two-hour drive to Jacksonville snoring in the seat next to me. As soon as I crossed the border into Florida the gray clouds were gone and there was nothing but sunshine.

  Eugene Woods lived in a condo on Oceanfront Street in Jacksonville Beach. It wasn’t anything to write home about, but it was a decent place to live for a single guy and it was well maintained. The condos were cookie cutter white stucco. The lawns were well manicured. And everyone had access to the beach.

  I nudged Rosemarie and she swatted at my hand. “Not now, Leroy. I’m tired. I’ve got a headache.” She gave another indelicate snuffle and went back to sleep.

  I rolled my eyes and nudged her again. “Wake up. We’re in Jacksonville.”

  Rosemarie popped up in the seat, wild-eyed and out of breath. She patted herself down and then gave a sigh of relief.

  “I was just making sure my clothes were still on. Ever since Leroy started staying over I’ve been going to bed fully dressed and waking up butt ass naked. I don’t know how it happens and I can’t really remember anything except for pieces of crazy dreams. It’s just like that movie.”

  “What movie? Field of Dreams?”

  “No. Rosemary’s Baby. Except this time it’s Rosemarie’s Baby. But I like Field of Dreams too. I always thought James Earl Jones would make an excellent lover.”

  To each his own I guess. I’d always thought Indiana Jones would make an excellent lover, but what did I know.

  “I think maybe I need to find a man with less of a sex drive,” she said, opening the car door and leveraging herself out. “That can’t be normal. Sex morning, noon, and night, and then selfies in between.”

  “Maybe you should send him home for a while so you can recuperate. Maybe it’s been a long time for him and he’s just trying to catch up.”

  “Hmm.”

  We made our way to the front door and rang the bell. My information showed that Eugene was a computer programmer and worked from home. He was divorced, and his ex-wife and teenaged son lived in Chicago. He hadn’t remarried and it didn’t look like he was seeing anyone serious.

  A man answered the door and I looked up several inches and into the face of a god. His hair was burnished gold, his eyes an odd turquoise-blue, and his lips were sensual and made for kissing. I knew his age was thirty-eight. He was shirtless and only wore a pair of sweat pants that hung low on his hips. He was the kind of man who should never put on clothes.

  Rosemarie and I stood there slack-jawed and motionless for a good two minutes while he waited to see what we wanted.

  “Can I help you ladies?” he finally asked. He asked the question to my cleavage and I high-fived myself for picking today to want to be like Phoebe.

  I handed him an agency business card and introduced myself. “Do you mind if we come in for a few minutes. This won’t take long.”

  “Sure. Sorry about the mess. I’m working today and haven’t gotten around to cleaning.”

  I looked around the spotless room and wondered why women weren’t camped out on his front lawn. The condo was a good size—bigger than my house. The living room had beige Berber carpet and creamy walls. Oil paintings of seascapes hung beneath special lighting and the sofas were cream colored leather with turquoise and dark brown pillows to continue the whole beach theme he had going.

  I could see the ocean and a large deck from where we stood and a kitchen done entirely in white wainscoting, even the refrigerator and other appliances. It was a great space, and I was thinking I wouldn’t mind living at the beach.

  “Have a seat,” Eugene said.

  I looked over in time to catch Rosemarie taking a photo of him with her iPhone and I went into a coughing fit in hopes he wouldn’t notice.

  “Are you okay? Do you need water?” he asked.

  “I’m fine. Just a tickle.” I’d learned from the last couch I’d sat on with Savage and decided to opt for one of the chairs this time. Eugene took the other one and Rosemarie made herself comfortable on the couch.

  I explained I was working for the agency in looking for the Tannenbaum heir.

  “You’re saying my Grandma Rose went to a back alley sperm bank to conceive my father and now my biological grandfather, who’s been murdered, has left a heap of money to whoever is left of his bloodline.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “That was a real good summary,” Rosemarie said. “You could get a job writing Cliff’s Notes.”

  “Wow,�
� he said. “I’m speechless. Nothing good ever happens to me.”

  “Maybe that’s because you got your lump of good stuff when you were born,” Rosemarie said. “I don’t mean to speak out of turn, but you don’t look much like a computer programmer.”

  His smile was blindingly white and a dimple winked at the corner of his mouth. “My ex-wife told me that all the time. She didn’t like how much time I spent on the computer. She thought I should’ve been making more money considering the kind of jobs I could do. She never liked Florida anyway. She moved with my son back to Chicago a few months after we divorced.”

  “What kinds of jobs do you mean?” Rosemarie asked. She flipped through several magazines on his end table, not trying to be subtle about poking around.

  “Hacking jobs. I’m really good at it. My wife thought I should’ve gone independent and broadened my market to the international level. I’ve got a sealed juvie file for hacking into the Pentagon when I was a teenager. I do a lot of government contract work now so I make out okay, but I could be living the high life, if you know what I mean. But if there’s something you want to know about somebody, then I’m your guy.”

  He winked and I had that awkward teenager moment where you stutter and stammer as soon as the cute guy at school pays any attention to you. Not only was he handsome, but he was smart too. I couldn’t deny I was tempted to have him run a full background check on Nick. He hadn’t told me about family, so who knew what other secrets he was keeping.

  “Your son sure does live far away,” Rosemarie said. “That must be hard.”

  “I miss him for sure.” Eugene’s smile spoke of genuine affection for his son. “He’s thirteen now and already wearing a size twelve shoe like me. I have a feeling they’re not going to stop growing any time soon. He comes for the summers and a couple weeks at Christmas. And I’ll fly up to Chicago whenever I can to catch a ballgame or something.”