by Nikki Ash
I read the words on the left page and, with a little prodding, John reads the right. Our little girl watches his face as he reads. She’s totally enamored with him. Not that I can blame her.
His deep voice sends a shiver down my spine. And that easy smile he gives our daughter melts me into a pile of goo.
They both look to me expectantly.
“Your turn,” John says.
Right. My face warms at being caught checking him out. I turn the page and keep reading.
After several more books, Indie’s eyes start to droop, and her temperament goes from sweet and adorable to cranky.
“All right, baby girl. I think it’s time for bed.”
She shakes her head. Her mouth pulls into a thin line of disapproval.
“Book.” She puts the book in John’s hands, and he looks like he’s about to cave.
“No. It’s bedtime. Come on. Let’s brush your teeth.” I stand, but she stays put.
My stubborn daughter stays glued to the couch.
“How about, you brush your teeth and get in bed and then I’ll read one more.” He looks up to me. “If your mom says that’s okay.”
Two sets of dark blue eyes lock onto me, waiting for an answer. “Okay. One more.”
She gets up and heads toward the bathroom, but then stops and looks back to John. “Brush?”
Some of her words are hard to understand for other people so I decipher it for him in case he missed the plea. “I think she wants you to go with her.”
“Oh.” He unfolds himself from the couch. He looks ridiculous standing at his full height in my small living room. I wonder if Indie will be tall. I never considered it before. I’m average height and so are my parents. My daughter will probably be taller than me if she got even half of his giant genetics.
I pick up the apartment while listening to them in the bathroom. She shows him every single bath toy before he gently encourages her to brush her teeth. He’s good with her. His uneasiness is evident, but she’s fascinated with everything he does and that seems to coax him to talk and interact with her more.
She comes out of the bathroom wiping her mouth, John on her heels.
“Ready for night night?” I ask.
The three of us go into her room. John takes it all in with a grin. “You like purple, huh?”
She nods, grabs his hand and tugs him toward her toy bin, which is purple just like half the other items. Purple sheets, purple blanket, purple letters on the wall that spell out her name. My gaze is stuck on her little chubby hand holding on so tight to his pinky and ring fingers.
“Bed, sweet girl,” I say, before she can coax him into doing something else. Something tells me he’s going to be a push over until he realizes that only causes more problems later.
I pick her up and place her into her crib. We keep a stack of books next to the bed and I grab the one on top. “Penguin?”
“Yeah!”
I kiss her. “Night. I love you.”
Handing the book to John, I say, “One book.”
He grins. “All right, mom.”
I force myself to leave the room, even though listening to him read to our daughter sounds like just about the sexiest thing I can imagine.
At the dining room table, I settle in with my laptop and books. Every literature class has a weekly reading assignment and I’m taking four of them. Gothic literature, women’s literature, Victorian prose, and topics in literary theory. I love all of them.
Reading and dissecting words is everything I hoped it would be, but I may have bitten off more than I can chew. And that’s not even factoring in the hours I attempt to write my own words. I love reading, but it’s writing that I want to do after graduation. The thought of my words being read and loved by others inspires me to keep going.
I could take fewer classes per semester, but that means more semesters and I don’t know how long Indie and I can survive on my teaching assistant salary and savings.
John’s low voice pulls at my attention and I realize I’m still listening in when he finishes the last page and Indie asks for more.
“Your mom said only one tonight, but maybe I could come back another time and read to you again?” He asks.
I can’t make out her response, but I don’t need to hear her to know she said yes. She’s falling hard for him. I really hope he doesn’t break both our hearts.
Faking like I’m deep into my reading, I glance up slowly when John closes her bedroom door.
“Did she beg for more?”
One side of his mouth lifts. “Yeah. Good thing you said only one. I have a feeling I would have easily been roped into reading every single book she owns.”
“Probably more than once.”
He takes a seat at the table and nods toward my books. “How are your classes going?”
“Good. There’s just so much reading. By the time I get her to bed every night I’m so exhausted I have to pry my eyes open to finish.”
Guilt etches into his features and I backtrack. “I’m exaggerating. Classes are great.”
“You’ve done a really great job with her and I’m so thankful. I know I’ve apologized a bunch, but I feel awful. Let me help. I get that you want to make sure I’m going to stick around and not screw up too much, but I’m in this with you now.” He reaches across the table and takes my hand. “You look good too.”
“What?” I laugh.
“Earlier you said I look good. So do you. I really dig the glasses.”
It’s been so long since I’ve dated, but the warmth and desire that stirs inside of me from a simple touch has so much more to do with him than a lack of contact. His touch, his affection, is unlike any other. There’s something reassuring about his impact on me after all these years. It makes me feel less guilty for sleeping with someone I just met. That wasn’t something I’d done before, or since, but we just connected. And, sure, maybe I was feeling a little rebellious that night, too. I was about to be a college student and I’d spent my high school years being the good girl.
Some people live a life of rebellion and break rules without consequences. I was clearly not that person. Still, I wouldn’t take it back or trade Indie for anything.
“Thank you.” I squeeze his hand. And I don’t let go even as I go back to reading.
Chapter Six
John
“What time did you get in last night?” Shaw asks as we work out with the team the next morning.
“Late. After midnight.” I’m going to be dragging ass today. During the season, my day begins at six a.m. and doesn’t end until seven or eight at night. It’s never bothered me before, the hours I spend with the team. I love these guys. They’ve become family.
He smirks. “I guess that means things went well?”
“Yeah, I think so. We held hands for like an hour.” Since I hadn’t brought any of my own schoolwork, I read one of her parenting books while she studied for class and we just hung out silently. It was nice.
My buddy laughs. “How very junior high of you, but I meant between you and the kid.”
“You studied while holding hands?” Cameron asks. He’s lifting next to us and I thought he was minding his own business. Obviously not.
“It was nice,” I say with a shrug. I don’t expect these guys to understand, but it doesn’t matter.
“You have a kid together. I think it’s okay to go to second base,” Cameron says.
“I want to do this right.” Though I have no idea what right is, and these fools clearly aren’t any help. “Like ask her on a date but I can’t exactly do that.”
“Let me get this straight,” Shaw starts. “You want advice on asking out your baby momma?”
They bust up laughing.
“I hate both of you.” Apparently, I’m on my own figuring this out. “Can we keep this between us for now? I need to talk with coach. I don’t want him to hear it from someone else.”
“Yeah, of course,” Cameron says. They both nod their agreement.
>
“But, uh, did you want me to pass her a note to find out if she likes you? Maybe chaperone the two of you at the movies?” Cameron is a sophomore transfer. Funny guy and super talented ball player. Because of the transfer rules he has to sit out this year, but he’s going to be a force next season.
“Actually, smart ass, that gives me an idea. Can you guys make yourselves invisible tomorrow night? I want to invite Rylee and Indie over to the house.”
Cameron looks like he might make another crack, but Shaw claps him on the shoulder and squeezes. “Whatever you need, man.”
“The place looks so much bigger when it isn’t packed with people.” Rylee tilts her head up and scans the entryway. I remember all too well what it was like walking into this place for the first time. I couldn’t believe I was going to get to live here. Still can’t.
“I thought we could let Indie run around in the court while we study.”
Rylee smiles tentatively. “Admit it, you’re trying to convert our daughter into a jock?”
Our daughter. My chest feels a little funny hearing those two words. Three nights of hanging out as a trio, and I can feel Rylee starting to trust me a tiny bit.
In the gym, I flip on the lights and Indie takes off running. She heads straight for the rack of balls. It’s amazing, I thought this place was childproof, but within seconds I have a vision of her pulling the entire contraption down on top of herself.
I jog to beat her there, grab a ball, and put the rest in the small supply cabinet.
She holds the basketball in two hands. She’s so small, but she clings to it with everything she has while eyeing the hoop. Lifting her, I say, “Show me what you got.”
With a lot of lift and a little extra help getting the ball over the rim, she makes her first basket. More pride than I’ve ever felt making a shot fills my chest as she squeals with joy. Rylee claps from the sideline.
When I put her on the ground, Indie takes off for her mom. Rylee hugs her tight and twirls with her. I rebound the ball and dribble it over to them.
“What about you, Mom? Got any sweet moves?”
“On the court, no.” Her lips twist into a teasing smile and blood rushes through my body with a million sexy thoughts of all the moves I’d like to see from her.
“Gonna want to see those later,” I say, my voice gruff.
We sit together on the far side, backs resting against the wall and our books laid out in front of us. Indie eventually tires out and rummages through the bag of toys and books Rylee brought to keep her entertained.
I run interference as much as I can so that Rylee can get some studying done, knowing I’ll have time later when they leave.
“I should get her home soon,” Rylee says, as our little girl starts to cry for no reason. Or, well, I’m sure there’s a reason but I haven’t a clue what set her off. Indie doesn’t talk a lot. Rylee had mentioned that the first night I found out I had a daughter, but I was too overwhelmed to be concerned at the time. Now, though, I wonder if it’s something I should be worried about.
“I set up a crib in my room if you want to try it out. Maybe she can rest a while here and we can keep hanging out?”
“You bought a crib?” Rylee’s head tilts to the side as she studies my face.
“Yeah. I wanted to be prepared in case…” I trail off. “I just wanted to be prepared.”
“I hate the idea of her staying anywhere without me. I guess that isn’t fair. I know you’re trying, and I appreciate it.”
“I don’t want to take her away from you. You’re an amazing mother, Rylee. Truly, I just want to help. Well, no, that isn’t all I want. I want to be a dad to her and a partner to you. If that means she naps here while you study or I take her for an afternoon or a night, then we’ll do it at a pace you’re comfortable with.”
Indie’s meltdown pulls us away from the conversation before we’ve finished.
“Let’s try out this crib then,” Rylee says. I can tell she’s uneasy, but she scoops up our daughter and I lead them down the hall to my room.
Indie goes straight for the purple corner of my bedroom. I take Rylee’s hand. Her soft palm and slender fingers curl around mine.
It doesn’t take a lot of coaxing to get Indie to lay down inside the crib. I take the baby monitor and tuck it into my back pocket, and Rylee and I leave.
With our backs against the hall wall, we wait and listen. After a few seconds of silence, my attention is taken by the woman next to me. Her dark hair falls past her shoulders. She’s wearing her glasses again tonight. I’m choosing to believe it’s because she knows I dig them. I’m also choosing to believe the faint scent of perfume was for me.
I’ll be honest, I’m looking for any reason to convince myself she’s into me. Maybe my memory of that night is better than hers. I don’t know if she’d be here if it weren’t for Indie, but I know that I’ve hoped to see her again a thousand times over.
“I think she’s asleep,” Rylee says. “I can’t believe she didn’t fuss.”
I’m in a bit of a daze staring at her, relearning every detail from the light smattering of freckles on her cheekbones to the deep green of her eyes. Rylee’s gaze drops to my mouth and then slowly moves up. The air around us is charged.
I stroke her cheek and then let my thumb slowly slide down to one side of her lips. My heart is hammering in my chest as I bring my lips down to hers. Tender and careful, I slant my mouth over hers. For several moments, neither of us moves. I lavish in the pleasure shooting through my body. Simple, uncomplicated, magic. All the things our situation is not. Our bodies say otherwise. Or, well, mine does.
I move my lips only a millimeter so I can speak. “I missed you.”
Breathing her air, talking to her, kissing her, just being nearby. It was only one night, but it set the bar for every woman I’ve met since her.
And here she is trampling over the bar like it was nothing. So much more than I ever could have imagined.
“I’d normally invite you up to my room, but there’s another girl occupying it currently.”
She smiles. “I hope it isn’t serious.”
“Oh yeah, really serious, but I’m pretty confident I can juggle both of you.”
Rylee giggles. The sound and the playful tilt of her lips make her look younger. Man, she’s been through so much. Life is crazy. It’s a wonder she doesn’t hate me. Or at the very least resent the hell out of me.
I’ve been living it up at college like everyone else and she hasn’t been able to.
“Come on. I have a backup plan.”
Taking her hand, I lead Rylee downstairs. The house is quiet. I’m a little surprised that the guys heeded my request so easily and made themselves scarce. Shaw is probably at Sydney’s apartment, and Benny and Cameron mentioned going to The Hideout with some other guys on the team. I’m not sad about having the place, and Rylee, all to myself.
Before we get to the theater room, I pause and kiss her again. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Sure,” she says, breathless.
Pulling her into the room, I come up short and Rylee walks into my back.
Shaw’s bare ass blinds me.
“Dude,” I say and cover my eyes.
“What?” Rylee asks, peering around me. She presumably gets the same eyeful I did. “Oh.”
“Seriously guys?” I ask, still not uncovering my eyes. I can hear them moving around though, hopefully putting their clothes back on.
“You said to make ourselves invisible,” Shaw says, like that’s a good excuse for boning in our theater room. Though, that was exactly what I had in mind when I dragged Rylee down here.
“You can uncover your eyes,” Sydney says. I wait a few seconds more just to be sure before I drop my hand.
She swats at Shaw. “I told you we should have went in the bathroom.”
He’s pulling his T-shirt over his head. “They were upstairs. This was safer.”
“Clearly.” Sydney smooths out her dress and steps forw
ard. “Hi, I’m Sydney. You must be Rylee. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Nice to meet you,” Rylee says. “Sorry we interrupted. We were going to watch a movie.”
“A movie, huh?” Shaw snickers.
Behind Rylee’s head, I flip him off. “Indie’s asleep in my room.”
“I’m bummed I didn’t get to meet her too,” Sydney says. “How old is she?”
“Twenty-two months,” Rylee says. “She’ll be two in December. Do you want to see a picture?”
“Absolutely.”
While the girls huddle together and Rylee shows Sydney pictures, Shaw steps to me.
“I assume things are going well. Or it’s going so bad that a movie is the only option where you can’t put your foot in your mouth.”
“Definitely not the latter,” I say as I watch Rylee. She lights up as Sydney fawns over a photo of Indie.
Definitely not the latter.
Chapter Seven
Rylee
When Sydney and Shaw leave us in the theater room, John runs a hand through his hair and scans the room. “Well, this place probably needs to be sanitized.”
He seems much more bothered about it than I am. How exciting. Getting naked in the theater room with your hot boyfriend, totally carefree and unworried about being caught. Silly things that I haven’t given much thought to, but that I now think I might have missed out on.
I want a taste of all the fun and spontaneity John and I might have if things were different.
I walk fully into the room and turn in a circle. “Let’s have sex in here.”