by Lane Hart
“You too,” I reply even though I doubt our nights will be anything alike as I shove my key into the apartment to unlock the door.
“We’re supposed to take a look around before you go inside,” Jake says.
“Oh, well, Verek’s probably here,” I say as I open the door…and find the apartment empty. “Or not.”
“Just a second,” Lucas says as both prospects slip inside and do a quick sweep for anything out of place. It seems silly but does make me feel better since Verek’s not here.
While they search, I try to figure out how I would feel if Paul went to a hotel bar and picked up a woman to take back to his room tonight. He’s bound to have slept with someone since we’ve been broken up, and that thought…doesn’t bother me at all.
Verek on the other hand…well, as I try to recall some of my drunken conversation with him, that was one of the first questions I asked. I didn’t want him to sleep with anyone else, even though that’s unfair since I can’t sleep with him.
“All clear,” Lucas says when he and Jake come out of the apartment.
“Great, thanks,” I reply.
“We’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” Jake tells me.
“Okay,” I say and then blurt out, “Do you know if or when Verek’s coming back?”
“He said he had to go by his town house and pick up some clean clothes, then he’ll be back over here,” Lucas informs me.
“Oh, okay.”
When I hesitate to go inside, he adds, “He’s called at least five times today while you were with Paul.”
“Really?” I ask, not all that surprised.
“I’m sure he’ll be here as soon as he can,” Lucas tells me.
“Yeah, thanks,” I respond. “Good night.”
“Night,” they both say, but then they stand in the hallway, waiting for me to go inside.
Verek
* * *
It took longer than I hoped to get my bike and then go by my apartment because Cannon wanted to stop for a steak dinner. Then, every neighbor in my building had to talk to me, asking where I had been the past few months, where my cut was, etc.
Finally, once I got free of them, I took a shower and then changed into some clean jeans and a gray long-sleeve Henley and black hoodie before packing a bag to head back to Tessa’s.
I knew she was already back thanks to a call from Lucas fifteen minutes ago, so I broke a few speed limits on the way over.
Parking my bike near the prospects’ tent, I pop a piece of peppermint gum into my mouth, then climb off, throwing my duffle bag on my shoulder. On the way to the front of the building, Lucas jumps in front of me.
“Good evening, sir,” he says. “If you don’t mind, I need to check with Miss Singleton to confirm she’s accepting visitors tonight.”
“Fuck off,” I tell him, trying to sidestep him on the sidewalk when Jake gets in my way. “Move,” I snap.
“After we confirm you’re a wanted guest with Miss Singleton,” Lucas says when he puts his phone up to his ear. I hear Tessa’s voice answer, and then he’s asking, “There’s a Verek…what’s your last name?” he asks me, and I glare at him. “Yes, Verek Rhodes,” he repeats when Tessa tells him my last name. “Should we send him up, or do you want to decline such a late visit tonight?”
“I’ll break all four of your legs if you don’t move out of my goddamn way,” I warn them through clenched teeth, biting down hard into my gum. My patience today has been all used up while Tessa was out on a date with her fiancé. Former fiancé.
“Okay, thanks,” Lucas says into the phone before telling me with a smug grin, “You can go on up.”
“Damn right I can.”
“Hey, you’re the one who insisted that we ask her permission before letting any male, female, young, or old up to her apartment,” Lucas reminds me.
“I’m an exception to that rule,” I tell him.
“Eh, you may think so, but I still think it’s best to check with Miss Singleton in case she changes her mind and decides she doesn’t want to see you,” Jake says before he finally steps aside for me to walk past them.
“Fat chance!” I tell the prospects, flipping them off with both of my middle fingers as I hurry inside, taking the steps instead of waiting for the elevator to go up one floor.
I can’t imagine Tessa is happy about being alone in her apartment, although I know she would be uncomfortable if I had asked Lucas or Jake to stay with her until I got back.
When I get to her floor, Tessa’s apartment door is already open as she stands just inside of it with Lola, looking like home sweet home. She’s in another pair of flannel pajamas, this time fluffy white ones with pink ice cream cones.
“Hey,” I say, out of breath because I’m so relieved to see her, not from the jog up the stairs.
“Hey,” she replies.
“How was your day?” I ask.
“Good. Fine,” Tessa says with a smile. Oh, how I wish she had said horrible.
“So you’re going to see him again tomorrow?” I guess.
“We’re going to lunch and maybe a movie,” she agrees with a nod.
“Oh.”
“You could come too…” she offers.
“I’m sure Paul would love that,” I mutter.
“Yeah, probably not,” Tessa replies. “Although he did say he’s okay with you staying here at night.”
“He did?” I say in surprise.
“Yep. I told him what we did last night.” Her cheeks instantly redden before she adds, “Not in detail, just that we kissed and did other things.”
“How did he take that?” I ask.
“Better than expected. He said he understands that we’re not together and haven’t been for a while, so he isn’t going to try and ask me to stop seeing you.”
“Would you if he asked?” I question her.
“No,” Tessa says without hesitation, then glances down at her fidgeting fingers in front of her. “But if you asked me not to see him again, I wouldn’t.”
I start to say the words, to tell her to send the prick packing. Instead, though, I say, “I just want you to do whatever makes you happy.”
“I appreciate that,” she says. “So, are you coming in or not?”
“I’ve got a change of clothes if you want me to stay again tonight,” I remark as I give the bag on my shoulder a pat, rather than just crashing on her sofa without asking like I did last night.
“Yes, I would like for you to stay again,” Tessa thankfully agrees.
“Good,” I reply. “Because this hallway doesn’t look very comfortable.”
“No, it doesn’t,” she says with a grin before taking a step back to let me pass. “Well, come in and I’ll tell you about my day, even though I’m guessing you already know after half a dozen calls to the prospects.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t lurk around the pier with my binoculars,” I say as I go inside. Dropping my duffle bag by the sofa, I take a seat and add, “That was my first idea.”
“There was no reason for you to worry,” Tessa says when she sits down next to me, one leg folded under the other. “We just fished and talked a little, then had dinner in one of the pier restaurants. It was nice catching up.”
“Sure, yeah. Did you kiss him?” I ask.
“No.”
“Hold hands?”
“Nope,” she answers. “We kept to a strict, three-feet distance the entire day.”
“I missed you,” I tell her honestly.
“I missed you too,” Tessa says, reaching over to stroke my arm and lay her head on my shoulder. “And I’m tired. It’s been a long time since I went out the entire day.”
“That’s good that you’re getting out. Although, I wish it had been with me and not him,” I remark.
“It wasn’t nearly as much fun as last night, though,” she tells me softly.
“Oh, that’s too bad,” I joke when I place a kiss on the top of her head.
Tessa then tilts her head up
so that her lips are pressed to mine. And it feels like I really am home when I taste her sweet vanilla scent. Her palm spans across my chest, before she pulls her mouth back enough to say, “I miss you in your cut.”
“Me too,” I agree. “I may be able to get it back on Monday.”
“I didn’t think Roman would actually make you give it up,” she says, brushing her lips over mine. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.”
Our mouths crash together again, and this time our tongues get in on the action, touching and retreating, over and over again erotically until my nonexistent fingernails are digging into the palms of my hands from how tightly my fists are clenched.
Thankfully, Tessa takes mercy on me, throwing one of her legs over mine and straddling my lap without our lips parting. Both of us moan into each other’s mouth when our lower bodies line up so perfectly that I would be inside of her if we weren’t wearing any clothes.
Tessa rocks on my lap as I have to keep reminding myself not to touch her, that this is her show and I’m just along for the ride. Or maybe vice versa since she’s riding me. Either way, I keep my hands to myself no matter how much I want to rub my palms up her thighs, bury my face in her tits, or press her pussy down harder on my cock.
Her fingers tug on my hair like she can’t get enough either. Then, Tessa reaches for my fists still clenched on either side of her and places them on her hips.
“Touch me,” she whispers against my lips.
“Are you sure?” I ask, even though my fingers are already squeezing her hips.
“Yes.”
I don’t ask her again as our tongues collide. I guide her hips up and down like I would if we were fucking hard and fast. Tessa’s breath hitches, and I know she’s getting close to getting off on the rigid length of my cock again, just like last night.
God, I wish I could feel how fucking wet she is and taste her. But since Tessa hasn’t removed any clothes on her body or mine yet, I take that to mean this is a dry-humping-only event.
Which is fine. It’s great. I’ll need to shower and get myself off later before my balls explode, but I can handle it.
Slowly, I test letting my palms slide around to Tessa’s back and then gradually lower until I’m cupping both of her perfect ass cheeks in my hands. Even through her pajamas I can feel the heat radiating from between her legs as I give her cheeks a rough squeeze. Tessa starts to tremble and gasp in my arms with what can only be her oncoming orgasm. As her body jerks uncontrollably, the tip of one of my long middle fingers ends up poking her right in the crease of her ass which sends her scrambling off of my lap faster than a bolt of lightning.
“Sorry!” I say when I see her standing in front of me, panting, knowing her reaction was caused by my mistake.
“It’s okay. Not your fault,” Tessa says while running her fingers through her hair, but I don’t believe her.
“Too much too soon?” I ask, wanting to know exactly what I did wrong so I won’t do it again.
“No, I liked what we were doing. A lot. It’s just, that’s a part of my body I never want anyone to touch again.”
“Oh,” I say in understanding. I scrub my palms over my face and swallow down the steak I ate earlier because it’s threatening to make a reappearance. Why didn’t I consider that before, that those sons of bitches who hurt her would have taken her against her will there too? “I’m sorry,” I say again. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, I probably should’ve just told you,” Tessa says as she goes and sits in the chair furthest away from me with her knees pulled up to her chest, her face still flushed with arousal. At least some parts were good for her.
“You can tell me, you know,” I say. “Tell me what you don’t like or what upsets you, then I’ll make sure I never do it.”
“Okay,” she agrees with a nod while studying her knees closely.
I wait for her to say something, anything, and eventually, she opens up. “I hate the smell of condoms. There were so many of them…all that latex…the smell of rubber.”
“Got it, no condoms,” I agree.
At that, she finally lifts her emerald eyes to mine. “I’m on birth control, the shot. Have been since…before, so at least I never had to worry about getting pregnant.”
“That’s a relief,” I say.
“And I’ve been tested several times for all STDs and HIV. Those were all thankfully negative because of the condoms,” Tessa says in a rush, like she thinks that’s important for me to know. “I’m clean, or at least clean of diseases…”
“I never even thought about that,” I tell her honestly.
“Well, you should have since we’ve fooled around and may do more,” she says. “Right?”
“Right, yeah,” I agree. “Thanks for letting me know. I get tested regularly too and haven’t been with anyone in eight months.”
“You really haven’t?” she asks, as if that’s so hard to believe.
“I haven’t. I swear.”
“Why not?” Tessa asks.
“Because I can’t stop thinking about you. I haven’t wanted to be with anyone else. I’m not sure if I ever really wanted anyone before or if I was just going through the motions.”
“Oh,” she says, staring at her knees again.
“So what else is there that you think I should know?” I ask before we get too far off topic and she doesn’t open up.
“Um, well, this is a specific one. My…breasts are very sensitive, and biting them really hurts.”
If not for the gum as a buffer, my back teeth would’ve probably chipped just now.
“Which man…?” I quickly change my mind. “No, don’t tell me. I promise I would never do more than lick or suck on your tits, if that’s something you might like.”
“That’s…that would be fine,” Tessa agrees, her cheeks matching her hair again.
“Anything else?”
“I never want to see duct tape again in any circumstance. Or the stock thing.”
“Of course not,” I reply, figuring those were pretty obvious.
“No work vans or storage facilities will ever be part of my future. And, um, I don’t think I could ever have sex with someone behind me again, unable to see their face, you know?”
“Right. Sure,” I agree, swallowing another piece of steak when I remember her on all fours in the stocks when we found her in the storage unit.
“The last thing I can think of right now is, well, I haven’t been back to Ocean Boulevard or the club since that night. If I’m going to live here in town, then at some time or another, I should probably go back. At least to give it a try.”
“You don’t have to ever go back there,” I assure her. “There’s nothing but T-shirts and bathing suit stores on the strip. I’m sure you can find plenty of both somewhere else.”
“Sure,” Tessa says. “But what about the club? Won’t you be going back to work at Fluid?”
“Maybe. I don’t really know where Roman will want me working. First I have to get my cut back.”
“Well, even if you’re not working there, Charlotte likes to go sometimes with Roman.”
“If you want to give it a try, I could go with you,” I tell her. “I wouldn’t leave your side the entire time.”
“Okay. I’ll think about it,” she replies. “For now, though, I think I’m ready to go to bed.” Tessa lowers her feet and stands up from the chair. “Are you coming with me?”
“Sure, yeah,” I agree as I stand up a little too quickly.
“I think I want to try letting you be the big spoon,” she says with a smile.
“I don’t mind being the little spoon,” I assure her.
“I know, but I think I may be okay with just cuddling from behind,” Tessa says when she leads the way to her bedroom.
“Are you sure? I’ll probably get hard and then poke you again…”
“Oh,” she says, stopping to grab the doorframe as she considers that. “Then let’s just stick to me being the big spoon
. At least for now,” she tells me over her shoulder.
“I kind of love when you cuddle up to me,” I admit, giving her a kiss on her cheek. “It makes me feel…” I start to say loved, but I toss that word out the window. “Appreciated.”
“You are appreciated,” Tessa says. “More than you know,” she adds with a smile.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Tessa
* * *
I can’t believe I told Verek about all the things that remind me of the night I was taken. I haven’t even told Charlotte about all of my triggers, but then again, I don’t have to worry about Charlotte doing any of them, while Verek could while we fool around.
And I do want to keep fooling around with him. When I’m with Verek, I feel alive and like the person I was before, right up until something sets me off and reminds me of the worst nightmare imaginable.
So why is it that I like kissing Verek and riding him when I can’t bring myself to let Paul hold my hand?
I think it could be that I always had too much time to get in my own head when I was with Paul, and I’m afraid the past events would be on my mind. But when I’m with Verek, he has a way of ensuring that I don’t think about anything else but him and how good it feels to be connecting with him in any way, shape, or form.
Which is why I think it’s time to tell Paul at the end of our date that I can’t see myself being intimate with him ever again.
“Did you have fun today?” Paul asks when he walks me to my apartment door, Jake and Lucas not far behind us in the hallway.
“I did,” I tell him, which is the truth. “It’s been nice seeing you this weekend.”
“It’s been great seeing you,” he says. “And I’m in town for a few more days. Maybe we could hang out again tomorrow?”
“That…that would be okay,” I agree. “But, um, I’ve been thinking…”
“Yes?” he asks, his handsome face falling before the words even leave my mouth. He knows. He must know that I just want us to be friends, right? I can’t tell him like this, though, after only two dates. I’ll tell him before he leaves. It really has been nice reconnecting, and I don’t want to lose his friendship. He was my best friend for so long. Paul and I were even closer than me and Charlotte. And surprisingly, he didn’t even mention Verek today, like he understands that Verek and I are close in a way that’s different from how we are together.