by Lane Hart
“Fine,” I cave with a sigh. “I’ll try to…date him. I’m just not sure I feel comfortable being alone with him,” I admit.
“The prospects go wherever you go, no matter what,” she reminds me.
“I know.”
“You could stick with day dates and do things outside if that’s easier.”
“I guess.”
“Just try. That’s all I’m asking, Tessa. You don’t know what will happen unless you take a chance.”
“Okay. I already agreed. You don’t have to keep trying to convince me,” I remark.
“Okay. If you left Verek and Paul alone, then I should probably let you go before Verek kills him. Apparently, he’s a pro at that.”
“Charlotte! That’s not fair. You know he only hurts bad guys.”
“As far as you know…”
“Shouldn’t you be fucking your husband right now instead of talking to me?” I say to change the subject.
“Think happy thoughts,” she says. “Now that we’re officially married, well, we’ve decided to stop using, um, protection.”
“Oh my gosh! You’re trying to get pregnant?” I whisper in surprise.
“We’re not getting any younger,” Charlotte replies before catching herself. “Sorry. I just meant we want to go ahead and start a family so that we’re not ancient when they graduate high school. Ugh, you know what I mean. You still have plenty of time!”
“I know,” I mutter with a sad smile. I get it. I wanted to start a family with Paul soon too before my life went to hell. “Go get knocked up,” I tell her. “And I’ll go make plans with Paul.”
“I’m so glad,” Charlotte says happily. “Have fun. Bye?”
“Bye,” I reply before ending the call.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Verek
* * *
After Tessa goes into the bedroom to talk to whom I assume is Charlotte calling to check in, Lola whines at the closed door before she comes and sits next to me, close enough for me to give her head a pat.
“That dog doesn’t like me,” Paul says.
While I wish I could agree, I tell him the truth. “She’s Tessa’s support animal. I think she’s been taught her limits, what things make her uncomfortable. She’s just trying to protect her.”
Although, when I reached for Tessa’s hand last night, Lola was right there and didn’t make a sound. Maybe she does like me.
“Yeah, of course,” he replies sadly before letting out a nonhumorous chuckle. “The dog knows my fiancée better than I do.”
Fiancée? Seriously? How can he still call Tessa that when she’s made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t want to marry him? Poor delusional prick.
We both finish eating our pancakes in silence, then Paul becomes very interested in whatever is on his phone, until Tessa finally comes out of the bedroom. Lola goes to greet her like she was gone for hours when it was just minutes.
“Everything okay, sweetheart?” I ask, the term of endearment rolling off my tongue before I can stop it.
Tessa looks from me and then to Paul before responding. “Ah, yeah. Charlotte’s daily phone call as promised,” she says, retaking her seat.
“I’m surprised Roman let her come up for air long enough to make a call,” I say honestly, and Tessa actually smiles at that.
“He must have been in the shower,” she jokes.
“That’s right,” Paul says, jumping into the conversation. “Charlotte got married yesterday, didn’t she?”
“Yes, she did,” Tessa answers him. “They’re on their honeymoon in Aruba.”
“I bet it’s beautiful there,” Paul responds. “And you know, whenever you’re ready, we can still go to Hawaii like we planned for our honeymoon. I just postponed our flight and reservations. I know how much you were looking forward to seeing the beautiful beaches.”
“She lives at the beach,” I remark gruffly.
“Well, Hawaii is a tropical paradise,” he retorts.
“I’m sure it is,” I agree. “Hope you can book two rooms instead of one.”
“Whatever I need to do,” Paul says more sternly to me before he turns to Tessa. “So, what do you have planned today?” he asks her.
She opens her mouth as if to feed him some lie but then says, “Nothing I guess.”
The asshole in me would like to speak up right now to remind her I never got to lick her pussy last night. That’s the only thing that was on my agenda today. Instead, I grit my teeth to keep quiet.
“How about we go to the pier and do a little fishing, then have dinner?”
“It’s a little cold for fishing this time of year,” I mutter.
“Sure, that sounds fun. I’ll bundle up,” Tessa agrees, ignoring me. I hope that’s because doing anything outdoors is better than being cooped up inside with him. Doesn’t the prick understand that she doesn’t want to be alone with him?
“I hope you don’t mind if we have some tagalongs,” Tessa says.
Paul glares at me a second before he turns his attention to her and sweetly says, “Invite whoever you want.”
“Well, I don’t really have to invite them because Roman has instructed them to go wherever I go,” Tessa says, and I realize belatedly that she’s referring to the prospects and not me.
She doesn’t want me to come along.
Fuck.
“Oh, you mean the two boys outside, standing guard near that tent?” Paul asks in relief when he realizes the same thing I just did. “That’s no problem. I’m glad you have them to keep an eye out for you.”
“Yeah, well, the prospects keep watch outside while I handle the inside of the apartment,” I remark. That isn’t exactly true, but I’m going with it.
“I’m sure that makes Tessa feel incredibly safe,” he says.
“It does,” she agrees. “So when do you want to leave?”
“How about I go find a hotel room and change, then come pick you up in about an hour?”
“I’ll be ready,” Tessa says as she stands up, and Paul and I do the same. I’m relieved when he starts toward the door.
“See you then,” he says as she unlocks and holds it open for him.
As soon as the door closes again, I tell her, “You don’t have to go anywhere with him.”
“It’s fine,” Tessa replies.
“Are you sure? I could go with you.”
“That’s okay,” she says. “The prospects will be there the whole time.”
“So you’re actually going to date him?” I say in disbelief.
“I guess I am,” Tessa agrees. “I ruined his life, and he’s been patiently waiting for me. The least I can do is go on a few dates to see if there’s still a spark there.”
“A spark?” I repeat. “You mean like the spark between us that nearly burned down this whole building last night?”
Tessa’s cheeks turn a shade of red that matches the color of her beautiful hair. “There’s more to a relationship than sex.”
“Sure there is,” I agree. “I guess I’m just sort of surprised that you’re going out with him and having sex with me.”
“That’s not…we didn’t…” she starts, mouth gaping.
“Oral sex is definitely a type of sex. It’s right there in the name. And I know it was a huge step for you to take. I didn’t know it meant so little that you would turn around and start dating your fiancé today.”
“You’re the one who said sex was just a physical act that doesn’t mean anything,” Tessa reminds me.
“That may be true for me,” I agree. “What do you think good ole boy Paul would say if he knew what we did on that sofa just hours before he showed up?”
“I-I should probably tell him the truth,” Tessa replies, which is not exactly what I wanted her to say. I wanted her to agree with me and say she wasn’t going to see him.
Since she’s obviously not psychic and doesn’t know my every thought, I tell her, “I don’t want you to go out with him.”
“Really?”
Tessa says. “Well, I didn’t want you to disappear for months and not call me. Paul did! Every single day, even though he knew I wouldn’t answer. Because he loves me, and when you love someone, you don’t up and disappear from their life!”
“I told you I was sorry!” I exclaim. “I thought you were better off without me, that I was holding you back from moving on, getting back together with your fiancé.”
“If that’s true, then why are you here now?” she asks.
“Because I missed you and you didn’t move on, so I think you missed me too.”
“Maybe if you had told me before you left that you’re not capable of more than casual sex, I wouldn’t have waited.”
Fuck.
Why the hell did I tell her that? It’s true, yes, but that doesn’t mean I won’t ever be able to love her the way she deserves. Does it? How the fuck can I be sure? It wouldn’t be fair to lead Tessa on when I can’t give her more than a few orgasms.
“Now you know,” I state simply rather than make promises I may not be able to keep.
“Yeah, now I know,” Tessa agrees before she storms off to her room with Lola to get ready for her fucking date.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Tessa
* * *
“It’s a beautiful day,” Paul says. “Even if it is a little chilly.”
“Yeah,” I agree as I keep my hands on my fishing pole next to him. Dressed in a thick cashmere sweater, peacoat and jeans, gloves and hat, I’m staying pretty warm.
And now that we’re here, mostly alone with only the prospects standing several feet away out of earshot, it’s probably best that I should be honest with Paul, get everything out in the open now rather than drag it out.
“So, there’s, um, something I should tell you,” I start.
“Yeah? What’s that?’ he asks. “There’s a lot you should tell me,” Paul says with a grin. “I haven’t seen you in eight months!”
“I know, and I’ll try to catch you up, but first, well, Verek’s not a bodyguard like the prospects.”
“Oh really?” he asks, his gaze turning back out into the gentle ocean waves.
“Last night we kissed and did other things together,” I blurt out.
“Yeah, I figured as much,” Paul says.
“You did?”
“He spent the night in your apartment and answered the door without a shirt on this morning, Tessa,” he mutters. “I’m not a complete idiot.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Is it serious?” he asks so softly that I can barely hear him over the waves crashing against the pier.
“No. I don’t think so,” I say, even though how I feel about Verek is serious.
“Then I don’t care,” Paul states simply.
“You don’t care?”
“Baby, I would’ve done anything for a chance to see you this week,” he says, his brown eyes finally meeting mine again. “A chance is all I want. I’m not asking you to change your life now that I’m here in town. That wouldn’t be fair to you. I showed up unannounced knowing things aren’t the same between us. I get it. You gave me your ring back. I know where we stand. There wasn’t any confusion there.”
“Right,” I agree.
“I understand that things have changed, you’ve changed, and there are new people in your life that you didn’t push away. And while it may take some time, hopefully, maybe one day, you’ll remember what was between us and want to kiss me again. After what you went through, the fact that you’re comfortable doing those things with him just makes me think that someday everything could be back to normal with us.”
“So you’re okay with Verek spending the night with me?” I ask in shock.
“That’s your decision. If you’re okay with it, then yes, I am,” Paul says confidently. “Charlotte was worried about you being alone this week. If I can’t be there with you, then at least there’s someone else who is able to make you feel safe.”
“I do feel safe with Verek,” I tell him honestly.
“Then he can have your nights if I can have your days. That’s all I’m asking for,” he says, which is…surprising. And it’s a huge relief because I wasn’t ready to ask Verek to leave or stop fooling around with him, as selfish as that sounds. That was what we would’ve done if Paul hadn’t showed up out of the blue without an invitation from me, so I think he’s right. Why should we have to change our plans just because he’s here? I shouldn’t feel guilty for finally being intimate with a man of my choosing just because one day, months ago, I was engaged to someone else.
Besides, fooling around with Verek is just a physical act, one I’m already in desperate need of again. And maybe once I’m able to be intimate with him, I’ll have enough courage to try and be with Paul without feeling like I’m too broken and ruined to be touched by him.
I’m finally making progress and don’t want to have to put on the brakes, especially now that I have Paul’s permission.
Verek
* * *
For the third time since Tessa left with Paul, walking to the closest pier, I call up the prospects after getting their cell numbers from Cannon.
“Hello again, Verek,” Lucas answers. “They’re still fishing. Just fishing. No, he hasn’t laid a finger on her. Do you want me to send another picture or a video?”
“Yes,” I respond because a photo is worth more than any of his words, and videos don’t lie.
“Fine. Give me a second,” the prospect says with a sigh.
“How much longer do you think they’ll be out there? It’s been almost two hours!”
“Man, I don’t know. They still haven’t caught anything. Maybe they’re really determined to reel something in, or maybe they’re just a lot more patient than you. I’m just a bystander watching from afar, not even close enough to hear their conversation.”
“You’re worthless,” I tell him.
“So you’ve said. Sir,” he mutters, unperturbed by my insult, tacking on the word meant to mean respect in a mocking tone. We’ll see if the little shit still gives me lip once I’ve got my patches back on Monday. “I’ll call you if anything changes, and we’ll throw him over the railing if he touches her.”
“Okay. Good,” I say before ending the call and immediately making another one, this time to Cannon.
“Yo?” he answers. “What do you need now, Verek?”
“A ride,” I tell him. “My bike is still at the clubhouse, and I need to go back to my town house and make sure it’s still there.”
“Okay. I’ll try and head out of the store once the lunch rush slows down,” he says, referring to the Harley Davidson store he runs with Conrad. I start to bitch and tell him to hurry up, but I know the twins have also been helping cover the club while I was gone these past six months, basically working all day and half the night.
“Fine,” I tell him. “I’m at Tessa’s apartment. Do you know where that is?”
“Roman left the address with everyone, asking us to ride by if we’re out and about just to check on things. Guess I’m not surprised that you’re there.”
“Of course he did,” I grumble. “Which means he doesn’t trust the prospects.”
“He trusts them,” Cannon replies. “He just wants to be extra cautious now that she’s here in the city alone…”
“She’s not alone. I’m staying with her, and her former fiancé decided to show up this week, thanks to Roman and Charlotte’s meddling. I answered the door for him this morning.”
Cannon lets loose a whistle. “Did it come to blows?”
“Not yet. I don’t think he’s the fighting type. It would be a one-sided knockout, and I would look like the dick if I hit him.”
“Probably so,” he agrees. “Try not to snap.”
“I’ll try,” I reply.
“See you in a few.”
“Thanks, man,” I say before ending the call and then pacing around the apartment while I wait. I can’t stop thinking about Tessa with Paul and wondering if she’s fa
lling for him all over again. It wouldn’t be hard since she still loves him.
And while I hate to admit it, he’s the best man for her. I’m sure good ole Paul came from a normal family; his parents are most likely still happily married and in love. He knows what it means to be with one woman forever, while I used to panic, thinking that if I let a woman stay all night in my bed, I may never be able to get rid of her. My father raised me to think women weren’t worth more than a good fuck, and then you had to move on, in order to sample as many as possible.
But now I know that after six months, I still couldn’t stop thinking about Tessa. I want to be with her, to see her every day. I’m just not sure if I have what it takes to be a decent boyfriend, much less a husband.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Tessa
* * *
“So, I had a great time with you today,” Paul says with a smile when he walks me up to my apartment, pretending we don’t have an audience of two right behind us.
“I had fun too,” I agree. I don’t get out enough, mostly because I still freak out when I see work vans or groups of men. Charlotte drags me out with her and Roman to get groceries once a week and to hang out at the clubhouse on the weekends, but that’s about it. I’ve missed the sunshine, even though it’s winter. And the pier restaurant we went to at sunset was very romantic.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” Paul asks.
“Sure.”
“We could go grab lunch and then see a movie or a show?”
“As long as it’s a comedy, I think I would enjoy either of those,” I tell him.
“Okay, good. I’ll call with the time,” he says and reaches toward my arm before dropping his hand sadly. “Have a good night.”