I grab him and hug him close.
“It’s okay,” I tell him when he lets me go. “I’ll be okay.”
Because while he might be willing to send me off into Eggther-land, I know what I need to do. I need to get some answers.
I tell Kol good night and head for my room.
When I round the corner, Grim is leaning against the door of the guest house, blocking my entry. His arms are folded across his chest, and one look at his face reminds me he’s the master at ferreting out secrets. My pace slows and my thoughts race to make this work.
“What’s up?” I call out, hoping my tone sounds more innocent than I feel. The darkness inside me curls inward, trying to hide itself.
Grim makes a “tsk” sound with his tongue and straightens. “I thought we were friends, princess.”
“We are friends,” I tell him.
“Then why are you leaving without saying goodbye?”
“I’m just going to bed, Grim. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He cocks his head, studying me with a deep frown, and I know he’s trying to wade through the half-truths I’m trying to spin my thoughts around right now.
“Did he tell you his reasons?” he asks.
I sigh. “He says it’s the only way I’ll be safe.”
“You have other ideas?”
“I plan to leave in the morning. With Helix,” I say pointedly.
But Grim’s eyes gleam knowingly. “You know, even without my gifts, I’d see the truth written all over you.”
“I don’t know what—”
“It’s something you should work on if you’re going to fool someone like him.”
“Grim, this isn’t—”
He swings in and plants a kiss on my cheek, lingering just long enough that his scent hits my nose. I breathe it in, a musk that’s both mysterious and inviting, until I’m knocked off balance. His arms come out to brace my elbows, and I rock forward, wondering if it’s such a bad thing to let Grim hang on to me a little longer.
Grim turns to look at me, and our noses nearly brush.
In the moonlight, his eyes are soft, and there’s something easier about him now than before. Something that understands my need to run.
“This isn’t a journey Kol or I can make with you, Princess.” A shadow passes over his features as he adds, “We’re required elsewhere, and it’s an order I intend to free him from, believe me. In the meantime, take care. If anything happens to you, I’ll—”
He breaks off, and concern flashes in his eyes.
“Grim.” I reach for him and press my palm to his chest. It’s a gesture meant to reassure, but when I feel his heart racing, my mouth goes dry.
Grim is handsome in an unpredictable sort of way, and while he has an edge that makes it hard to resist his ridiculous pick-up lines and silly jokes, tonight is different. Tonight, he’s confessing . . . I don’t know what, but it’s not as simple as friendship. Not anymore.
Grim’s gaze drops to my mouth, and he leans slowly toward me.
I go completely still, waiting with anticipation.
Grim’s lips brush mine softly, and I shudder with pleasure. His touch is light and feather-soft as if he’s being careful. It makes me want to show him just how tough I really am. It makes me want to jump him and hang on and not let go.
Instead of deepening the kiss, Grim hovers there, waiting. Asking.
I hesitate, wondering what it would be like to kiss him back, but as much as I want to know, I don’t move. Already, this moment feels like a secret. Because no matter how attracted I am to Grim, it won’t erase how I feel about Kol.
“Grim,” I say before his lips can touch mine again.
The light in Grim’s eyes dies a little. He eases back. “I know,” he says roughly.
Something about his tone makes me want to explain. “I want to,” I tell him. “I just—”
“I know,” he says again. He moves to walk around me then stops and turns back. “He’s not rejecting you,” he says roughly. “He’s bound elsewhere, Elidi. We both are.”
“What does that mean?” I demand.
He shakes his head. “I wish I could tell you.” His voice drops to a whisper, and he adds, “Be careful.”
Then, he turns and walks away.
I watch him go, unsure what to think about his cryptic words. He made it sound like Kol was being forced to send me away. And I realize how little I know about their world—or their responsibilities. But it also doesn’t really change my plans. I won’t be sent into hiding. Not with Aerina still out there.
I won’t give up on my family.
The next morning, Grim and Kol are waiting for me when I step outside.
Neither one looks remotely happy about the plan for today.
“Where are the others?” I ask.
“They’re coming,” Grim says.
“Here.” Iynx appears from the main house and holds out a backpack.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Food. A change of clothes. Some things to help make your journey easier.”
“Thank you. For everything,” I tell her.
She smiles then helps me slip it over my shoulders. “You’re welcome here anytime. Should you need anything, please let me know.” Her arms wrap around me in a tight hug.
When she lets me go, I catch sight of Helix approaching.
“Nicki’s asking for you,” he tells Iynx.
“Go,” I tell her.
“Be safe,” she calls before hurrying back to the house.
“You ready?” Helix asks.
I nod, but instead of following him to the border wall, I turn to face Grim and Kol. My heart aches, but I keep my expression neutral as I march up to them both and hug them one at a time. When I step back to face them, Grim wears a distant expression. Kol’s gaze, however, is unwavering and piercing as he looks back at me.
“Be careful,” Kol says. His voice is low and strained.
“Don’t trust anyone,” Grim adds.
I nod. “I’ll see you both soon.”
Kol’s gaze flicks to Helix. “If anything happens to her,” he begins.
“It won’t,” Helix assures him. “I’ll keep her safe.”
Kol doesn’t answer. He and Grim turn to go.
“Wait five minutes,” Kol tells me. “If we’re not back to warn you, that means it’s clear.”
Grim grabs his shoulder, and they disappear into the goo.
Helix steps up beside me. He has a bag of his own strapped to his back; another gift from Iynx. I concentrate on calculating our supplies while we wait for Kol and Grim to scout the way ahead.
Five minutes later, they haven’t returned.
“It’s time,” Helix says.
He offers his hand, and with a firm grip on each other, we walk slowly through the gooey wall and then out the other side.
Chapter Seventeen
The air feels exactly the same, and the landscape is still clearly desert, but it feels different. A strangeness that comes from exposing myself to danger without Kol or Grim beside me. But it’s also invigorating to be on the move again. To be doing something productive that will, hopefully, take me closer to finding Aerina. And answers.
A bolt of energy surges through me.
I look over at Helix. He’s spitting and doing his best to wipe off the goo that coats his clothes and hair. I do the same then reach into the bag Iynx gave me and pull out two cinnamon rolls, offering one to Helix.
“For the taste in your mouth,” I say before taking a huge bite of mine.
Helix takes an equally large bite, and we start walking.
“What?” I ask when I catch him looking at me.
“I have to admit I was surprised when you agreed to come with me.”
I shrug. “It was the best option,” I say around a mouthful of the sugary dough.
His brows rise. “Did that option have anything to do with cinnamon rolls?”
“It doesn’t hurt.” We walk a few pac
es then I add, “Also, we’re not going to Tegwood.”
Helix stops and stares at me, eyes narrowed. “What do you mean we’re not going to Tegwood?”
“We’re going to see my friend, Finn,” I tell him then start walking again. Partly because the threat of Silenci drives me—and partly because Helix is looking at me like he’s about to explode.
“That’s not the plan,” he says, catching up easily with his longer strides.
“It’s my plan. And last I checked, guardians take their orders from their chosen.”
He growls. “That’s assuming your orders aren’t completely stupid ideas designed to get us both killed.”
“Look, I’m not going to run away and hide out while my aunt is in danger,” I tell him.
“If you can’t condone this, I’ll understand. You can return to Tegwood, no harm done.”
His eyes widen, and he grabs my arm, pulling me to a stop. “Actually, there would be lots of harm. Probably even attempted murder. Because Kol Valco will definitely try to kill me if I abandon you out here.”
I don’t argue. I can’t. Not when he’s right.
Finally, he sighs, but it’s more of a resigned groan. “What does this Finn offer, anyway?”
“Information,” I say.
“About what?”
I shrug. “That’s what we need to find out.”
“Didn’t this guy burn your house down?” he asks.
“Yes, but I’m sure he had a good reason.”
“How sure?” he asks, eyes narrowing.
“Almost sure.” What I lack in certainty, I make up for in confidence—or at least that’s what I’m hoping as he stares back at me, contemplating.
Finally, he starts walking again.
I hurry to catch up. “Does this mean you’ll come with me?”
He glances at me sideways. “I’m not going to leave you out here alone.”
“I can take care of—”
“Don’t say it.”
I frown.
For a few minutes, we walk in silence.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
He glances over, and I wince at his expression.
“I’m trying to figure out what I did to anger the gods so badly.”
I decide not to speculate for him.
By the time we reach the familiar dirt road Kol and I traveled in on, the sun is high in the sky, and my stomach is grumbling. I stop for water and then unwrap another cinnamon roll before we continue onward.
I offer part of it to Helix, but he shakes his head. “How can you eat more of that junk in this heat?”
I flash him a smile. “I need to keep my strength up, right?”
Helix watches as I eat the rest of the roll in one final, huge bite. “They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Maybe it’s true for you too,” he says.
“Nah. The way to a man’s heart is through his fourth and fifth rib,” I counter.
“Where did you hear that?”
“My aunt Aerina. You do not want to mess with her.” My voice catches as I remember someone already has messed with her. “When we find her, I mean. When we take care of whoever’s already messing with her . . .” I trail off when I realize my attempts to fix it are only making it worse.
Helix’s hand finds mine. His fingers are sticky from the cinnamon roll, but I don’t mind. He squeezes once then says, “We’ll find her. Together.”
For some reason, I believe him.
We’re just beginning to descend toward the trees on the backside of the mountain when something howls in the distance.
I look at Helix but don’t stop walking.
“Please tell me that was a friend of yours,” I say, edging close to him.
Helix doesn’t answer except to stare in the direction of the howl.
“Helix,” I whisper when he remains quiet.
“I’m listening,” he says, shushing me.
“And? Do you hear anything?”
“Not with you talking.”
“Fine.” I glare at him then do the only thing I’m positive will shut me up and help calm me down. I eat another cinnamon roll.
Helix gives me a look but says nothing.
“Here,” I say, handing the bag over to Helix. “I need to be stopped.”
He takes it just as another howl sounds.
“Okay, that cannot be coincidence.” Helix stops and grabs my arm.
He’s staring hard at the line of trees across the road, his forehead creased in concentration.
“Helix?” I say.
“Where does Finn live?” he asks sharply. His gaze cuts from me to the woods.
“Bridgeport, Washington.”
“We’re going to have to veil jump to get there.”
“The veil makes me sick.”
“Those howls you hear are from my pack. Probably just Eggther guardians scouting. But if they catch our scent, they’ll be here in minutes. If they find us, they’ll insist that you come back to Tegwood. And I won’t be able to stop them.”
“Okay,” I say, blowing out a deep breath and silently apologizing in advance to my internal organs. “Let’s veil jump to Washington.”
Helix tugs me straight into the trees that line the road. I hurry to keep pace since he still has my arm in a firm grip.
“You should know I don’t do well with veil jumping,” I warn while we crash through the brush toward some unseen destination. “So if you could just warn me before we head in there, I think—”
I feel the tingling begin a split second before I’m swallowed up and sent through a wormhole that immediately turns my insides to mush. My stomach rolls, and by the time we step out the other side, I’m already bending over and heaving up the cinnamon rolls.
Helix stands beside me, still silent. I don’t know whether to be grateful for his protective presence or mortified at his front row seat.
I straighten and accept the flask of water Helix offers. Shivering lightly in my jacket, I rinse my mouth as I look around. We’re surrounded by large trees, their branches dusted in fresh snow. That explains the frigid temperature and the pine-scented air.
I hand the water back to Helix.
“How close are we?” I ask.
“The veil portal for Bridgeport is about ten miles from town.”
“That’s handy,” I say. “Are there veil portals near every town?”
“No. A portal near a town this small is rare. You can conjure one, of course, if you’re an ascended god though it won’t last more than a few seconds. Most guardians and ascending live in larger cities where a permanent portal already exists. Those are much harder to create.”
“So Aerina must have chosen this place for us because there was a portal nearby,” I say.
“Or she’s the one who put it here.”
“She can do that?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I have no idea what she can do.”
I duck my head. “That makes two of us.”
Our boots crunch over the fresh snow as we make our way toward town. My brain swims with fatigue thanks to the veil jump. It’s not quite as deteriorating as the first time, but it’s still taking a toll. Beside me, Helix is sure-footed and silent once again.
I glance over at his expression, but it’s all-business. I should be grateful for his singular focus on our mission. It’s that kind of concentration that could save my life.
The exhaustion begins to weigh heavily.
My eyes catch on the dark, inked lines of a tattoo peeking out from underneath his collar.
“What’s the tattoo for?”
He glances over, frowning. For a second, I think he’s not going to answer.
“It’s the mark of a protector bond,” he says stiffly.
“I thought the oath was more of a verbal commitment.”
“It’s true. The oath is something a guardian offers to the gods. The bond is something personal between a guardian and his chosen. Their tattoos, or marks, create a magical link, stre
ngthening their connection.”
“I thought guardians could only protect one god or goddess,” I say. “That it’s a bond for life.”
“It is,” he says, looking away.
“Oh,” I say, understanding.
Helix had protected someone before me, and I can’t help but wonder how his chosen had died. But more than that, given his reaction, I wonder why he would want to protect another.
The sky is lightening a little as we near town thanks to the haze of light pollution. It’s a welcome sight that chases away some of my unease at walking in the too-quiet forest at the cusp of dawn. I burrow deeper into the meager warmth of my jacket and glance at Helix again.
“I think I misjudged you,” I say.
“What do you mean?” Helix asks.
“When you showed up at Black Peak to find me, breaking their rules about trespassing, I thought you were some kind of rebel. And even now, you’re running away with me and taking me someplace opposite of what you think will keep me safe. But you’re not really a rule breaker, are you?”
“No.”
I snort because his single-word answer says it all, but then I think about what his rule-breaking got him back at Black Peak, and I feel instantly guilty.
“Helix, I’m sorry. About what Vayda did to you that night.”
He looks over at me, and his gaze softens.
“It’s not your fault. Besides, I knew what would happen when I decided to go.”
“Why’d you do it then? Why come after me at all?”
He shrugs. “When the spirits call, you listen.”
“It’s that simple for you, isn’t it,” I say because I can see that it is. If it weren’t for that call, he would have gladly stayed back and let Kol handle this. “Duty comes first.”
“Duty is everything,” he says simply. “It’s why we were created.”
“And what about love?” I ask.
He frowns, and I know I’ve hit a nerve.
“Love is a luxury,” he says quietly. “One I can no longer afford.”
My chest tightens at the way he says it, and I think of his previous chosen. Rather than push him to talk, I slide my hand into his and squeeze. Or I try to squeeze though I’m not sure it works since I can’t feel my hands anymore.
Goddess Ascending Page 16