Vindicated

by Kathleen Williams Renk

  17 May 1820

  Rumors fly once again in regard to our family. We have dismissed our servant Paolo who has gossiped about Claire, claiming that she gave birth to another illegitimate child and that Shelley disposed of it in a foundling home. We do not understand why Paolo would speak ill of us and spread malicious rumors. None of it is true. Claire was not even pregnant for a second time.

  Shelley tells me that we must remain strong. There are always gossips that will spread all sorts of false claims and that because we are writers, we will always be held in contempt, because the imagination is feared, especially in such a religious country. Nevertheless, we will travel to Livorno to consult with an attorney about these utterly false allegations. It is true that Shelley assisted an unfortunate girl who was in the “family way” and he did help her place the child in an orphanage, when her own family abandoned her.

  I had greater hopes for Italian tolerance than what I see around me; England was stifling but Italy can be as well. I am aware that the townspeople of Pisa are highly superstitious. They continually worry that the devil tempts them. They believe that Lucifer walks among us. I can only say that the evil that they espouse makes devils of them.

  I write about the medieval period, but some of the thinking from that era still prevails, especially in regard to hierarchical thinking and concepts of heaven and hell. However, I have found that hell can prevail right here on earth when people slander one another and when loved ones are snatched away in the blink of an eye because of our unfortunate and inherent mortality.

  9 June 1820

  Castruccio has achieved victory after victory and intends to vanquish the castles that remain loyal to the Guelphs, the party that opposes him and which is aligned with the papacy. My dear Euthanasia, his childhood love, will be his next victim, although he will pledge that he only desires peace for all. She, however, will assert that she will never be his slave; she will withstand his tyranny, and will never align herself with one who murders her kinsmen and friends. She desires continued independence for Firenze and Valperga.

  30 June 1820

  My Euthanasia appears before me daily but now a rival for Castruccio’s affection, Beatrice, a beautiful prophetess and heretic, has also materialized. Sometimes I feel like a spiritualist conjuring up these figures. Although much of my novel is historical, I have completely invented these female characters, one who upholds freedom, the other who questions the Church and who will come to ponder the origin of evil.

  15 July 1820

  Margaret has arranged employment for Claire. She will become a governess in Firenze to a large Italian family. I can’t imagine Claire as a governess. As a governess, one must be tolerant and enjoy teaching children. I have advised her to read about my mother’s experience as a governess before she travels and to, at the very least, consult with Margaret in regard to the best ways to approach the occupation. I doubt that Claire will do this, but I am exceedingly grateful to Margaret, my surrogate mother, for relieving us of Claire and our responsibility for her. Perhaps Claire will become independent of us.

  1 September 1820

  Shelley accompanied Claire to Firenze and he left her inconsolable; he related that she couldn’t stop crying and begged him to take her back home. He did not give in to her pleading. She has considerable misgivings about the venture that she has undertaken, but he assured her that all will be well and that she will find her footing.

  She must win the children over, but there are five girls and three boys, a veritable brood, and she is expected to accompany them to religious services as well, which she is disinclined to do. She reminded the family that she is not Catholic, she is not even a true believer, and they say that they do not care. They just want someone to manage and discipline their children. Since Claire is much like a child herself, I expect that her employment won’t last long, but I am still pleased, at long last, that she has vacated our home.

  Recently, Shelley ran into an old school chum, his cousin Thomas Medwin, and has brought him to stay with us. I was hoping for quiet so that I can continue my work, but Shelley must have amusement in between his bouts of frantic writing.

  On another front, our neighbors, the Gisbornes, have a son who is talking with Shelley about an entrepreneurial project that he hopes Shelley will join. His idea is to provide a steamboat service from Livorno to Marseilles. He wishes Shelley to fund it. As always, Shelley is the dreamer and he is considering it, although I caution him that our expenses are such that we can barely pay our bills and we continue to fund Godwin who has no sense at all for how to manage his finances. Shelley is just as bad as my father in his lack of fiduciary knowledge. I let Shelley dream but, if necessary, I will put a stop to any financial foolishness on his part. We do not need creditors hounding us once more!

  15 October 1820

  Shelley invited two more guests to our home; Professor Pacchiani from the University of Pisa who brought with him Prince Mavrocordato of Greece, who claims to be a revolutionary. We do not care for Pacchiani; he can be very tiresome and is a bit of a charlatan, but we delight in the Prince, who is helping me with my Greek in exchange for my assistance with his English. His English is already quite splendid; he has no need of a tutor; nevertheless we have a grand time together.

  13 November 1820

  Our circle of friends continues to grow. Pacchiani has introduced us to a most unfortunate young girl, Emilia Viviani, whose family has sequestered her in the Convent of St. Anna. She is a member of a high-ranking Florentine family and her mother is excessively jealous of her daughter’s beauty and talents and refuses to allow her to participate in society. The story itself seems almost like a fairytale. If her mother were only her stepmother, the tale would be perfect.

  Shelley is enthralled with Emilia and he has every desire to free her from her captivity. Although he won’t admit it, she seems another imprisoned Harriet to him, a sort of Rapunzel who must be freed from her tower. The only way that Emilia can be freed though is through a fruitful marriage, but her mother seems to wish for her to die, smothered in the convent, rather than find a suitable husband.

  Emilia is confined within two small rooms and receives little physical or intellectual exercise. Shelley visits her daily to help her with her intellectual pursuits and he reads the poetry that she has written; he finds it extraordinary. I believe that he is smitten with her beauty and intellect.

  I refuse to think of her as a rival. I am confident that I am Shelley’s sole true love. I do not fear the game that he plays with her, but only fear that she will fall in love with him and thus may get hurt in the process.

  14 December 1820

  Shelley continues his daily visits to Emilia but I have refrained from visiting her. She writes to me and wonders why I have stopped calling on her, when Shelley visits. I tell her that I have my work and my Percy Florence. If I wished to visit a convent, I would seek my own vocation. I told her that in a short missive and I have heard nothing further from her.

  Shelley will tire of her eventually. Besides, nothing can happen between them in the convent cell. The Mother Superior keeps a watchful eye over her charge; Emilia’s mother mandates it. However, I doubt that she even knows about Shelley’s daily and lengthy visits.

  1821

  15 January 1821

  Emilia is Shelley’s muse, something that I apparently have never been, even though he says that I remain his child of light. He has written “Epipsychidion” and has dedicated it to her. In some ways, Shelley views himself in the role of Dante. The longer we live in Italy the more Shelley believes he incarnates Dante.

  I continue to write my novel. I also take my cues from Dante but my Beatrice is not Dante’s. She’s heretical but believes that she is God’s handmaiden who must free women by the power of the Holy Spirit. She is able to walk through fire and people consider her a saint, but one who has renounced the papacy. She courts Castruccio whom she hopes to dissuade from w
ar, and he is completely mesmerized by her enthralling beauty. Perhaps Shelley and Emilia resemble these characters. Beatrice is a foil for Euthanasia who, even to me, seems too good at times. I wonder what will become of these two women who have become rivals for Castruccio’s love. Will they renounce him and eventually seek each other out and become companions?

  16 January 1821

  We have acquired new friends, Jane and Edward Williams, friends of Shelley’s cousin Medwin. They have moved to Pisa to be near Medwin who supports their relationship, a relationship that is frowned upon by many, because Jane is still married to her husband John Johnson. She ran off with Edward because of Johnson’s abuse of her.

  Once again, we hear the same narrative of women’s lives repeated again and again. This story is similar to my Aunt Eliza’s story; Aunt Eliza was physically and emotionally abused by her husband and my mother saved her from being murdered by her husband.

  Marriage itself often becomes, as my mother thought, a form of slavery, whereby a husband is allowed to throttle his wife without any legal repercussions. She is his property! Somehow Jane was able to flee Johnson, when he went to sea. She confided in me that at one point he tried to force her to return to him, but she had the good sense to escape his tyranny.

  When will women be able to actually be free agents in their own lives and not have to worry about physical and mental abuse? When will we gain true equality? I fear that we shall never see a time when women will not fear physical violence.

  30 January 1821

  The Prince and I continue our lessons and I have read him portions of my novel. He is most taken with Euthanasia’s philosophy and the strength of her character and will. When I remark that she seems too good, he tells me that she is an ideal woman; she may have been one of the Guardians, if she had been born in Ancient Greece. I am not sure of this. I remark, “Perhaps she is like Diotima who taught Socrates. However, Castruccio is no Socrates; he’s far more of a Sophist. What do you think?” Then, the Prince laughs and we discuss the perils of sophistry.

  Of late, I’ve noticed that Shelley keeps a watchful eye over my time with the Prince. The tables have turned, I suppose.

  18 February 1821

  Shelley is more smitten with Emilia than I originally believed. I read portions of his poem and note that he calls her a “poor captive bird,” his “adored Nightingale,” “Seraph of Heaven! Too gentle to be human,” “Thou Moon beyond the clouds!” “Thou living Form Among the Dead!” He seems a bit carried away, but it is the fifth stanza that disturbs me the most and makes my heart ache.

  In it, the persona confesses, “Emily, I love thee . . . Would we two had been twins of the same mother . . . I am not thine: I am part of thee.”

  I confess that this expression of love troubles my sensibilities and worries me. Shelley has always been passionate and his passion does prove problematic at times. I believe that I have never had a genuine rival for his affection until now. Claire tried my patience in hoping to be my rival, but she failed.

  I will not make a scene though and will not even confront him. I believe that this passion will die and that he will remain mine, even if Emilia is an extraordinary beauty and a Seraph from Heaven, which I doubt.

  This too shall pass and Shelley will soon return to his senses. I will never grovel for his love and affection.

  13 March 1821

  Shelley has found a more suitable outlet for his expression of affection. Instead of courting Emilia himself, he plays the go-between, the Cyrano, for one of Emilia’s suitors. In this way, he still confesses his love, but does so on the part of the timid young man. I am quite certain that Emilia knows that Shelley is in love with her; he told me that she read his poem. She is most likely enthralled with him too; what is not to love? All women love my Shelley.

  21 March 1821

  More heartache. We have learned that our friend John Keats has died in Rome of the consumption that brought him to Rome. Poor, noble Keats. He was only 28 years old and he apparently was ill-treated by an English doctor, James Clark, who incorrectly diagnosed his disease and thought that Keats suffered, not from consumption as the doctor in London attested, but from a case of the nerves. He starved and bled Keats, much as my darling Clara was bled, but Keats ended up hemorrhaging five times on his last day of life. These cruel, barbaric practices must stop! Bleeding is not a remedy for a lung ailment or for ague or any other malady. Shelley and I are quite distraught that such a bright star in the firmament, a poet with great promise and talent, is now buried in the Protestant Cemetery in Rome where our dear Will is. If there is a God, which I sometimes doubt, he or she seems quite cruel or, at the very least, uncaring about human life. Little did I know that when I was on the Spanish Steps in Rome, Keats’s deathbed was in the building directly to the right of me. He too looked down on the fountain in his last days.

  We shall visit his grave when we visit our dear child’s. We deeply regret the passing of our friend and had hoped that he would visit us soon. Now we shall never see him again or revel in the great promise of more poetry. Oh, that he was his immortal nightingale.

  5 April 1821

  I feel more confident that Shelley’s amorous affections for Emilia have subsided. Keats’s death may have had something to do with it, because he is mourning the loss of his friend and is beginning perhaps to understand how fleeting life can be. Also, his love for Emilia burned out quickly, when he realized that she pursued him, rather than the young swain who wishes to marry her. I learned this not from Shelley but from Claire who corresponds with Shelley. I think that she took great satisfaction in relaying to me that Shelley loved Emilia. I told her that I was well aware of his amorous affection and left it at that. Claire said nothing further, because she knows that Shelley has always preferred me to her.

  I am pleased that he saw the folly of pursuing this young prisoner. Perhaps he is learning from past mistakes, although knowing him as I do, I fear that this cannot be true.

  10 May 1821

  Claire’s drama with Byron continues. He is now living with his new mistress, the Italian Countess Guiccioli, who refuses to look after Allegra. Together they have placed Allegra in St. Anna’s where Emilia resides. Byron occasionally visits the child and appears to be taken with her childish charm. He finds her quite pretty and intelligent and he tells Claire that Allegra “has a devil of a spirit” and thus finally admits that the child must be his, since she resembles him. Of course, Claire is pleased that Byron does see the child but he is severely restricting her visits with Allegra because Claire is now an avowed atheist, after everything that has happened to her. He fears that Allegra will end up like her mother and will disavow God. He wishes for Allegra to become a Catholic.

  I find it most baffling that a man who is ever the libertine chooses to rely on Catholic dogma. Who would have surmised that Byron the Don Juan would align himself with Catholicism? Perhaps he has converted and sees his confessor on a weekly basis; perhaps he admits to his continual sexual license and even his perverse passion for his half-sister. I suppose that he receives absolution and then feels free to sin again.

  Shelley and I do our best to assure Claire that Allegra is being well cared for and is beginning to receive an education, although we have not witnessed or seen the way that girls are educated in this convent.

  20 May 1821

  The Prince reports tremendous news from Greece. A Greek general, Ipselanti, has led 10,000 Greeks into battle against the Ottoman Empire and they have apparently won the battle. Prince Mavrocordato is ecstatic! We celebrated the victory by drinking Greek Ouzo. As I said, I am not an imbiber, but I was happy to drink one round with my friend to celebrate. It gave me great hope that all empires will eventually fall, as Shelley and I have long hoped. His “Ozymandias” is based on this supposition. We continue to believe in ultimate human freedom from all tyranny whether national, religious, or ideological.

  13 June 1821


  Valperga continues and is inspired by the news from Greece. Euthanasia stood up to Castruccio, the prince, and imperial vicar, but he destroyed her castle and then imprisoned her because she plotted against him. Beatrice, the supposed saint, has died, after succumbing to madness. She continued to love Castruccio, despite his malignant acts. Now, Euthanasia is imprisoned in Lucca and Castruccio repents of his treatment of her and offers to free her. She wishes her co-conspirators to be freed also, but he refuses. Although she does feel profound love for the man that Castruccio formerly was, she tells him that she does not recognize the man that he has become. He is alien to her. He has become a tyrant and even if he professes love of her, how can he treat her countrymen as he does? After all, he has slaughtered them. She says that she would rather live in a convent than become his wife; she would rather retreat to a far-flung island than to share his bed. She is a bold woman who desires liberty and justice.

  10 September 1821

  The Williamses have become close friends with Shelley. Edward and Shelley spend vast amounts of time together. They have designed a sail boat that they plan to have built. Shelley will be back in his element; he will be a merman once again.