Love Reacquainted (Loves of London Book 1)

by Kate Rolin

  Meanwhile, Cyrus was back in his study after a mutual failed attempt at sleeping. He sat at his desk again, this time in tan breeches and his maroon banyan. That color would forever remind him of Olivia’s dress that evening.

  Closing his eyes, he leaned back in his chair and massaged his forehead. He paused. A faint, sweet melody was coming from somewhere below.

  He shouldn’t have been surprised she hadn’t been able to sleep either. Against his better judgment, he stood and followed the enchanting sound down into the drawing room.

  Olivia was just beginning to relax as the song came to an end. Perhaps one more and then she’d return to bed. Her hands stilled as she paused before beginning another, but just then soft clapping from across the room broke the silence. Olivia jumped and squeaked. She’d not heard anyone enter the room, she’d been so focused on what she was doing.

  She looked up to see Cyrus standing in front of the door he had apparently closed behind him—and he was wearing that banyan again. The dim firelight danced in his eyes. “It seems sleep evades us both tonight,” he drawled and slowly made his way over to where Olivia sat, her heart picking up the pace.

  She began to mindlessly play another tune, “And I wonder whatever could be the cause?” She smiled coyly as she looked at him from the corner of her eyes.

  “I’ve told you, I’m a man bewitched.”

  His voice was closer, much closer. Turning, she found he stood right next to her. Looking up she noted the sash securing his banyan at the waist. She swallowed and looked up further into his eyes instead, the pianoforte all forgotten.

  He reached to caress her face with the back of his fingers. She looked beautiful in the firelight with her auburn hair cascading down her shoulders. And she was wearing a soft pink gown that he assumed was one of the new ones he’d been longing to see.

  Thank goodness for the dying fire, for he felt he’d be able to see right through it with more light and he didn’t think he’d have the self-control to wait about bedding her if that was the case.

  “Cyrus,” Olivia whispered, “please tell me now is the right time.”

  Blast.

  He drew her up off the bench by her hand and pulled her against himself, resting his chin on her hair. She felt perfect. Heat began to radiate between them, no thanks to the thin garments of them both. He groaned and pushed her back from him to give them some space.

  “No love, not yet. As much as I can’t bear to say it. You have no idea how much I want…how much I need you. But you deserve much more and I aim to see to that.” Cyrus did not even know exactly what he meant by his own words, he just knew this wasn’t the right moment or way to go about it.

  He turned and walked over to the fire to stoke it. “Put on your dressing gown and join me over here.” There. That expanse of frills should help to keep his behavior in check.

  Olivia did so as he sat down on the rug in front of the now-growing fire. As she made her way over, he patted the space in front of him indicating for her to sit.

  Cyrus pulled her back to lean against him, his legs on either side as they both looked into the fire. Heat filled Olivia’s face as she was aware that he only wore the long banyan and breeches and she was now backed up against him. She could see the bottom of his strong, muscular calves on either side of her. Reaching over, she touched his left leg, tentatively at first, and then began to slowly move upwards. She had just reached his knee when she felt Cyrus stiffen behind her.

  “Olivia…” he growled in warning.

  She dropped her hand and relaxed in his embrace. Did he really think she could just sit here with him, both practically naked?

  “Tell me about Karl.”

  Apparently, he did. “Karl? What would you like to know?”

  “Any man with the sense to love you is worth knowing. Tell me, please.”

  “Well,” Olivia leaned her head back against his chest and closed her eyes, “I first met Karl maybe six months after we had arrived in Austria. His father had been my music tutor for about three months already. The lessons were always given at my home, but on one occasion, my mother had not been feeling well all week so it was decided I would go to my instructor’s home the next few days for my lessons and he would send his own carriage for me. The next day, the carriage arrived and Karl stepped out to escort me. I knew Herr von Klor had a son, but I’d never met him before. Karl always said it was love at first sight for him. We fell into easy conversation on the way to his home and became fast friends. Barely a day went by after that that I did not see him. He was my confidant, he was my critic…and my best friend.” Her voice was distant now, as her memory had transported her back in time.

  “But you loved him, no?”

  “At first, I just saw a new friend to be had in that new country. I remember that second Christmas there, he tried to kiss me under a kissing bough we were caught under together. I was so shocked and I didn’t know what to do, so…I slapped him.”

  Cyrus chuckled. He couldn’t have imagined Olivia ever slapping anyone before tonight. The anger that had flashed in her eyes as they danced now told him she very well could.

  “He didn’t give up though. He tried to kiss me a few more times, until one day he didn’t show up to my lesson with his father, as he had become accustomed to do. I didn’t see him all week. His father later informed me Karl had been spending his time with a Hilda Georg, a blonde frilly thing. I was so mad and then realized I was actually jealous to think of Karl with another girl. I told his father to pass along a message that I hoped to see Karl the next day or he needn’t bother coming ever again.”

  “Well, what happened?”

  “He didn’t come. I was scared now that I had lost my best friend and was beginning to realize that I must love him as well. There was an opera a few days later that both of our families were to attend together. We all got along splendidly, you see. I set a plan to wear Karl’s favorite green dress of mine and did my hair up in the latest fashion. I would do my best to make sure he paid no mind to Hilda that night.

  “Sure enough, we arrived to see Karl’s family already seated in the box we were to share. Hilda sat next to him, but as soon as he turned to greet my family I could see it in his eyes—he wouldn’t be thinking about Hilda anymore. We hadn’t seen each other for nearly two weeks at that point.”

  “And he took you and kissed you right there,” Cyrus teased.

  “No. I must confess tonight was not my first time at…er, flirtations.” Olivia laughed nervously. “I flitted my fan and my eyes the entire evening at him. We were seated across the box from each other so we spent the whole time watching one another out of the corner of our eyes rather than the opera. I finally gave him my best alluring look and then stood to excuse myself for a drink or air or something.

  “Instead, I waited in the hallway outside our box and it was only a minute or two later that Karl stepped out. We didn’t say a word, he simply walked up to me and kissed me right there. I didn’t slap him that time.” Olivia shrugged. “We were together ever since, married just a few years later. It seemed so…natural.”

  There was a pause and then Olivia added, “I never felt, what would you say, a spark…or flame when he kissed me. But it was such a loving, comfortable feeling. Like coming home, if you will. Not like when you kiss me.”

  Cyrus felt immediate pleasure at hearing her admission that he ignited passion within her. Maybe now was the right time after all…

  “Will you me about Lydia, please?”

  And maybe not. But Cyrus knew it was for the best.

  He sighed. He hadn’t spoken on this topic in so long. It had always hurt too much, but somehow with Olivia, the pain was lessened.

  Taking a deep breath, he began, “Your father and I were very much alike. We had both decided we would never marry unless we had found a woman we knew we could never live without. That happened much sooner for him. We were still at school together at the time when he met Margaret on a holiday, all arranged by Elizabeth o
f course.”

  Olivia smiled, “Papa always told me how Aunt Elizabeth had asked him to chaperone her and her new friend, my mother, to some shops. Apparently, it was love at first sight for them both.”

  “Yes, I believe it was. I remember, after hearing they’d eloped, of being afraid at first of losing my school chum to a girl. He was a few years older than me and I just knew he’d move on with his new life. But your mother was so kind and I was included in every family event, so your father and I, we remained close.

  “Over the years, I became content to never marry. I wouldn’t settle for less than a real marriage. Then one day, I was invited to join your family for tea at Elizabeth’s home and she had invited a Lady Lydia Harrison as well. That one look was all it took and I knew I would marry her. We did, I believe, the day after you left for Austria.”

  “Yes, I remember my mother was so upset to miss the wedding. I vaguely remember meeting Lydia a few times, but I suppose I didn’t take much notice. I was only sixteen then, after all.”

  Cyrus chuckled, “I most definitely was not.”

  “And your marriage, was it happy?”

  “Yes. We had years full of love and she, too, was my best friend. I dreamed of having a large family and when it became apparent that was not to be, we drew even closer as a result. Then she fell sick and…” Cyrus quieted, now struggling to go on, “…she died…and as far as I was concerned, I did too that day.”

  Olivia reached up to touch the hand that was on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry Cyrus.”

  “I even wished that I had died. I didn’t see how I could go on without her or be able to love anyone like that again. I just knew I didn’t want to feel pain like that ever again.”

  Olivia turned in his arms to look up at him. She saw his jaw clenched against emotion and reached up a hand to his cheek. A lock of black hair fell across his forehead then and she moved to push it away.

  She thought again how Cyrus was the most handsome man she’d ever seen. “I’d say we’ve both been lucky to have found love and happy marriages. Even with the loss, it’s more than most people can say.”

  “Yes, that’s very true, and something I would have previously said could only happen once. But then you, Olivia, came walking back into my life and I find I am losing my head over you.”

  Even in the firelight, Cyrus could see her blush. He couldn’t resist it, he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her soundly.

  Before things could go any further, he pulled back, and somehow, this time Olivia understood. They would wait for perfection. She snuggled back into his arms, feeling so relaxed as if sleep was finally not far off.

  “I…I think in some way I’ve always loved you Cyrus. Even as a girl, though I know you wouldn’t have noticed then.” Olivia felt a little nervousness at the admission.

  “What I did notice was that my teasing could always make you blush. I had quite some fun trying to make it appear—ow!”

  Olivia had jabbed her elbow into his ribs. “You’re a devil. Do you know how tormented I was as a girl over blushing so easily? And to find out you purposely made it worse!”

  Cyrus laughed. “I believe after the way you tormented me tonight, we are even. I will never make the mistake of not asking you for a dance ever again.”

  They quieted and sat for some time, simply enjoying the closeness they felt. Olivia yawned and became still in his arms. Her even breathing signaled to Cyrus that she had finally fallen asleep and he adjusted her so her head lay in his lap. He looked down at her beautiful face, eyes closed with dark lashes against her cheeks, lips parted slightly and her pretty nose upturned.

  Suddenly, Cyrus felt more grateful than ever that Elizabeth had barged in weeks ago. What he had thought was the worst idea in the history of the world, at least to him, had turned into something wonderful. He chuckled. Who would have thought it?

  Elizabeth. Elizabeth would have known.

  For the first time, Cyrus realized Elizabeth hadn’t simply eloped at the last minute. She knew all along exactly what she had been doing. Didn’t they just discuss her part in Olivia’s parents’ marriage and his own? She must have planned the whole thing, which meant…

  He glanced back down at Olivia and something inside Cyrus lurched.

  He realized he loved this woman with a true love, a love like he’d always waited for in the past. His heart soared with his self-admission and he felt a freedom he hadn’t known in years.

  And then terror struck.

  He now knew what he had been waiting for with Olivia—marriage.

  There was no way he could go through with that, it was too great a risk. With great love came great pain and he’d sworn he would never hurt like that again.

  Dear heavens, what had he done?

  Panicked, Cyrus stood up. He gently picked up Olivia and carried her up to her room, placing her softly on the bed.

  He turned to leave, but hesitated, lingering for one more look of her peaceful face. He wanted to always remember the tranquility he saw there before he did what he knew he should do in the morning.

  Before he’d break both of their hearts.

  ~

  Sleep had not only evaded Olivia and Cyrus that night. Back inside the other gray-stone house, now quiet after all the guests had gone, Derrick paced back in forth in the study. His mother was seated in a nearby chair watching him.

  “Derrick, I don’t want to have to tell you again. You know what you must do. It will be for both of our sakes. Besides, it’s high time you settled down and I know Olivia is beautiful enough for even you. Perhaps a match will cause anyone who may remember circumstances surrounding your little venture to Africa to forget.”

  She paused, glaring at her younger son as he kept pacing. Was he even listening to her?

  “Besides, you know who her father was. It’s time you claim what should be yours.”

  Derrick finally stopped and slammed his fist onto the desk he stood by. He turned flaming green eyes on her and roared, “Enough Mother!”

  Clara smiled, satisfied to finally have her son’s full attention.

  “You think I don’t know that? I’ve planned for years my revenge on what I lost to Lord Eddingham. I’m just glad I don’t have to put up with an ugly cow to get it.”

  “No, Olivia is definitely not that. Well, I’m glad to know you realize what is at stake.”

  “Don’t worry Mother. I will visit Olivia within two days and put my plan into action. I will see to it that I not only get Olivia, but also what is owed to me.” He paused to give his mother a sinister smile. “And you shall again have that blasted Duke all to yourself.”

  Chapter Ten

  It was the second morning after Christmas and Olivia sat at breakfast with only Josef. She went through the motions of eating for his sake. She didn’t want to alarm him, but she tasted nothing, each bite making her feel more nauseous than the last.

  She had felt this way ever since yesterday when she had been summoned to Cyrus’s study immediately after breakfast. He’d been absent, much to her disappointment, but as she had made her way to his study she had assumed an explanation and another kiss awaited her.

  She pushed open the door and looked around. She’d not been in this room before. Off to her right she noticed what must have been his wedding portrait before her gaze landed on him. He stood looking out the window with hands behind his back which was to her now. She couldn’t help but smile as she walked towards him, not after the previous night.

  “Good morning, Cyrus. I was worried after you weren’t at breakfast, but…what’s wrong?”

  Olivia stopped short. Cyrus had turned as he heard her approach and the look on his face was so shocking she froze. It looked as if anguish and anger both flashed in his dark eyes, and the dark circles underneath told Olivia he never went to sleep at all. A shadow of stubble indicated he hadn’t bothered to shave either.

  Cyrus stood there for what felt like an eternity, drinking in the sight of her. She had on that prett
y lilac morning gown again and those blue eyes regarded him with concern as she bit her lower lip, her forehead creased with worry. He felt he was going to be sick at what he was about to do, but it was for the best—for them both.

  Olivia watched as he worked his jaw. He stood ramrod straight, hands still clasped behind his back she could no longer see.

  “Olivia, I need to speak with you. About last night…”

  She smiled, thinking he felt guilty for what almost happened between them. “Cyrus, you mustn’t worry about me. Last night, it was one of the best nights of my life.”

  “Olivia—please! Don’t make this any harder for me than it already is!” He raked a hand through his dark and gray-streaked hair that hung loose at his shoulders.

  Olivia blinked, stunned. “What are you talk—”

  “Don’t you see? Nothing can ever happen between us. We need to stop before this gets out of hand. I’m…I’m sorry I allowed my…” —he wouldn’t say feelings—“attraction to you to get out of hand.”

  “Cyrus, this is more than a mere physical attraction.”

  “Whatever this is, it has to stop. It can’t go anywhere anyway. Why, I’m old enough to be your father! Even if we married, you’d be the subject of gossip for marrying an old man for years to come. And then, eventually, I would leave you a widow, too young once again.”

  “Cyrus—really! Women much younger than myself marry men much older than you all the time. It’s not unheard of. And you should know I don’t care about gossip! You’re younger than my father would be anyhow.”

  “Only by two years!”

  “Still. Cyrus, you needn’t worry about me and our ages. I don’t care. Josef, he adores you, I can tell. And…I love you.” There were tears in her eyes now.