Their Secret Bargain

by Kay Lyons

  Nick’s gut clenched, but whether it was over the fact that he’d always thought Matt handled his mother’s absence well or that the topic was education, he wasn’t sure. He felt Jennifer’s curious gaze and faltered. It was no secret that he’d dropped out of high school. But this was the first time the subject had ever come up with Matt. The last thing he wanted to do was discuss it in front of a woman who took college courses for kicks. “I’m too busy, Matt. Running two businesses has a way of swallowing a person’s time.”

  “Plus your dad wants to spend time with you,” Jenn added. “If I had all of that going on, I probably wouldn’t be taking classes, either. Kids are only young once and parents don’t want to miss a second of it.”

  Matt seemed satisfied with her answer and Nick was glad the subject was dropped as the door to the grocery store opened automatically. Inside, he ignored the smiling, flirtatious whispers and stares of the checkout girls and grabbed a cart. They were in a public setting now and he had to pretend to be Jennifer’s guy friend. But their conversation had just proved Jenn was right and they weren’t compatible on any level. Could people with such differences be friends? This wasn’t going to be easy. And what exactly did guy friends do?

  “Did you have to throw out all my food?”

  Nick smirked. Guy friends did that. He might not know Jenn well, but he cared enough about people and the crap they put into their bodies that he didn’t want to see her harm herself—no matter how good certain foods tasted. “I didn’t throw out all of it.”

  “Dad said your sweet tooth is bigger than mine. That you were a junk-food junkie.”

  Nick frowned. “You weren’t supposed to repeat that, Bub.”

  Jenn released her lower lip with a rueful sigh. “That’s okay. I know it’s true. But it’s such a waste.”

  “I dropped the unopened stuff off at a church on the way home,” he informed her. “They have a soup kitchen and will put everything to use. Now, listen up. The first trick to eating better is to open your eyes and look for a rainbow.”

  She stared at him, clearly befuddled. “Huh?”

  “When you think of food from now on, think rainbows. If it doesn’t have a color, you probably don’t need it or want it because it’s not particularly healthy. You want reds, yellows, oranges. Lots of greens and blues. Things high in antioxidants and vitamins.”

  “Vegetables?” Without missing a beat she looked at Matt in horror. “He makes you eat vegetables?”

  That did it. Matt giggled a little-kid giggle, the sound happy and carefree, a first since finding out about the whole summer-school thing, and Nick found himself laughing, too. He stared at Jennifer as she scrunched up her nose and eyed the spinach with the look of a vampire sighting a cross, and that got him chuckling louder.

  People poked their heads around the corners of the aisles to see who these shoppers were, what they were laughing about. More than a few left with their eyebrows raised high at the sight of the three of them together and with Matt in tow. And then and there it happened.

  “Nick? Nick, is that you?” Mrs. Bumgarner approached them, pushing her cart, her eyes alight with curiosity. “It’s good to see you again and sounding so happy. Matt, how are you? And…Ms. Rose, isn’t it? My granddaughter had you for her teacher last year. Emily Cyrus?”

  “Yes, Emily. How is she?”

  “Fine, fine.” Mrs. Bumgarner looked at Nick, practically beaming. “Saw your mother at church on Wednesday evening. She didn’t say anything about you dating our wonderful Ms. Rose.”

  Nick rubbed the back of his neck. “Mrs. Bumgarner—”

  “You should come to church more often, Nick—and bring Ms. Rose, of course,” she said, smiling delightedly at Jenn as she pushed her cart past. The gleam in her eyes stated clearly that she was going NASCAR as soon as she turned the corner, so she’d be the first to spread the news. “You’ve picked a nice girl to date this time, Nick. Your mother must be thrilled.”

  Mrs. Bumgarner turned the corner and, sure enough, Nick heard the squeaky wheels pick up speed. The gossip would start within minutes. After being seen together on their walk and now this, word would spread like wildfire. The gossips would bring up the past and mention his dropping out. Wonder at the irony. They’d comment about her being smarter than he was. How many college-educated women would even consider dating a high-school dropout? A graduate, maybe, but not a dropout. Even though he stayed current on the issues—talk-radio was great for that—truth was, people habitually stayed within their own crowds and cliques, education levels. It was the way the world worked.

  “Great, now we’ll be the primary topic at the next potluck.” Jenn ran her fingers over her hair and tucked one side behind her ear, a frown on her face. “I’m sorry, Nick, but I still wonder if this is a good idea,” she murmured, keeping her voice low. “I remember that woman. Every time she came in to pick up her granddaughter, I had a roomful of mothers trying to get out the door all at once.”

  Nick grimaced. Yeah, Mrs. Bumgarner was known for that. But his worry wasn’t so much about his so-called relationship with Jenn but that with all the talk, Matt was bound to hear something. He had to have a chat with Matt soon. Maybe tonight, if he could work up to the topic. Why had he put it off for so long? He didn’t want Matt hearing the news of his past and lack of education from anyone else, but the timing couldn’t have been worse with Matt struggling in school. How would Matt react after learning his old man had hated school, too? That he’d quit the first chance he’d had? It wouldn’t set a good example at all, and Matt might think he could quit. Great example you’ve set there, Nick.

  Then there was Ms. Rose. What would she think?

  He grabbed a head of lettuce and spun it in his hands. You wouldn’t be where you are today if you cared what others think.

  True. But as he watched Jenn tilt her head back and chuckle at something Matt said, watched her smile at him and share the warmth of her laughter, Nick wondered how she’d look at him when she discovered her trainer hadn’t had the brains to finish high school.

  Then again, when it got right down to it, he already knew.

  Chapter 7

  ON THE WAY TO NICK’S apartment above the gym Monday afternoon, Jenn found herself tapping her fingers along with the radio. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and everything outdoors was green. If only she could figure out the deal with Nick. They’d gone to the grocery store on Saturday, both of them in decent moods, but after the run-in with Mrs. Bumgarner he’d turned quiet.

  As if he was embarrassed to have been seen out with a fat chick? She rolled her eyes. They were two grown adults. If he still had the mentality of a high-school freshmen and thought “fat chicks” were bad for his image, well, shame on him. She didn’t think that was it, however. He seemed fine the rest of the time, treating her with respect but…Something was just off.

  Jenn stopped at the traffic light and took a steadying breath, gaining perspective from the scenery around her. There was a quaintness to Beauty, the mixture of old-fashioned storefronts and brick streets mixed with modern-day upgrades. After her divorce she’d considered moving back to Cincinnati, but couldn’t bring herself to leave. She could certainly see herself spending the rest of her life here, but whenever she thought about the four empty bedrooms in her fixer-upper she knew she didn’t want to do it alone. Still, until she was happy with herself, how could she expect anyone else to be happy with her?

  “That’s what the summer is all about. You.” She nodded to herself, then jumped when the driver behind her honked because the light had turned green and she hadn’t noticed.

  Five minutes later Matt opened the door to Nick’s apartment with a glum expression on his face, dragging his feet to the table where Jenn proceeded to unload her three-ring binders, books and papers. Preparing herself for a long afternoon, she explained what they were going to do and got to work.

  “Go ahead, Matt. We’ll answer the questions after you read the passage. It’s very shor
t.” Matt stared at the worksheet a long time, but made no move to begin reading aloud. “Matt?”

  “I don’t want to.” He shoved the paper away from him.

  “Matt—”

  “I don’t want to. This is stupid! All my friends are having fun today. They’re at Bryce’s house, swimming.”

  Having asked for something to drink soon after they’d begun, Jenn set the glass of milk she’d poured for Matt on the table and took her place beside him. “I’m sorry about that. I know it’s no fun to be here when your friends are out playing together. But we have to do this, you know? The good news is the sooner we have our tutoring session, the sooner you can join your friends.”

  “I’m not allowed.”

  “Why not?”

  Matt clammed up. His lower lip trembled slightly but his eyes were dry. Thank goodness. She didn’t think she could handle his tears when she felt so much like shedding a few of her own. If she even breathed wrong, her body ached. She’d been okay in the car, but climbing the stairs had brought back various pains incurred during their high-intensity walk. No pain, no gain. “Come on, talk to me. What’s going on? Did your dad not want you swimming somewhere without him there? Parents worry like that.”

  No answer.

  “Okay, then. Well, we’re wasting time, so how about you read that first—”

  “I hate reading. Reading is stupid.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  No answer again. Jenn inhaled and switched tactics. Given Matt’s attitude and test scores, reading was definitely something they needed to work on. But his cooperation was key. “Tell you what. How about we leave the reading for a little later and do some practice sheets in math instead? Sound good?”

  Nodding once, he swiped a hand under his nose.

  Jenn placed a timed practice sheet in front of Matt and felt her heart lurch as the boy straightened his shoulders as if he faced an entire classroom of bullies. Unlike the reading assignment, the math sheet was full of white space, but still the same reaction. Something was off here, but Jenn wasn’t sure what. Children loved learning—when it wasn’t problematic for them and didn’t cause them stress. Did that mean Matt was having problems comprehending?

  Figuring out the trouble wouldn’t be easy, especially not when he shut down and refused to speak, other than to say he hated this or that. She had to help him, but how?

  Her mind shouted out a warning, but she knew it was useless. She loved all her students, wanted the best for them and wanted them to succeed. It was impossible for her to spend nine months with a class and not care for every child. But a summer of one-on-one? She’d have to be very, very careful here. Pretending to be Nick’s friend, spending so much time with Matt…She was in dangerous territory and she was intelligent enough to know it.

  THAT WASN’T SO BAD, was it?” Nick watched as Jennifer sat in his spare office chair, her face blazing ten shades of purple because he’d made her step on the scales. “This is to have a base line. I don’t want you weighing yourself everyday. This isn’t about numbers.” He picked up a pen and tapped it against the desk calendar, feeling awkward with her embarrassed silence because he didn’t know how to help her get over it.

  He didn’t understand women and their obsession with weight. If their clothes fit, if they felt good and were healthy, that was all that should matter. What was it about wanting to achieve some magic number? “I, uh, wanted to thank you for not saying anything to Mrs. Bumgarner on Saturday. I probably should’ve given you a reminder about keeping things quiet, but I didn’t think about it. Anyway, I appreciate you watching out for him. One of Mrs. Bumgarner’s grandsons is in Matt’s class. The kid’s a bully and he’d have a field day if he knew Matt needed help.”

  “I would never do anything to deliberately embarrass one of my students.”

  Her lashes hung low over her eyes, and her tone was sharp. Indicating he’d put her on the scale to embarrass her? “How’d today go?”

  She shrugged, still not making eye contact. “Matt’s not happy about missing out on events with his friends. He told me about the swimming thing. We could’ve postponed the session until tonight.”

  “He shouldn’t have brought it up at all. He knew he wasn’t allowed to go regardless of when you two met.” But at least Matt hadn’t told Jennifer why he wasn’t allowed to go, or that he was grounded because of the forgeries. The less Jennifer Rose and everyone else knew about that, the better. Nick shook his head. How had things gotten so complicated?

  “We made a little progress this morning, but we’re going to have a long summer ahead of us. Especially if Matt doesn’t open up a little more in order to help me figure out the problem areas.”

  Problem areas? Nick shifted uncomfortably. Jenn was criticizing his kid. Had she ever struggled in school—did she know what it was like? You’re on the same side, remember?

  He looked up, found her face still hot with color. Dressed in a T-shirt and calf-length yoga pants, Jenn’s arms were soft and smooth-looking, her belly gently rounded and not quite disguised by the loose clothing. But then he took in the luxurious hair, pulled into a ponytail for convenience’s sake, and her smoky charcoal-gray eyes and the tempting texture of her skin. Ms. Jennifer Rose was everything womanly and feminine. While she was overweight for her height and optimum health, she wasn’t obese. Exercise and sensible eating would trim her down. It was her attitude that held her back.

  “Yeah, well, about your program. You have to give it time. You’re not trying to train for a triathlon or a body-building competition, just shaping up which means—”

  “Like I could even do the other.”

  “Anyone could, if they set their mind to it,” he corrected her. “I’ve heard of seventy-year-old guys who’ve done it with heart attacks in their medical history. But for this summer your focus needs to be on lifestyle changes, eating intelligently and exercising every day. If you do that, the weight will come off.”

  “Before the end of summer?”

  Nick got up and rounded the desk, leaned his hips against the edge of it in front of her. “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Studies have shown that stress can cause changes in the body that make it easier for fat to collect around the middle, which is another reason why exercise is so important. Exercise helps us destress and keeps us active. Muscles, bones, body chemistry. It all responds to exercise. We weren’t meant to sit around doing nothing. Jenn, you’re smart and beautiful. All you need is to—”

  “Stop.” Her lashes lifted and her gunmetal gray eyes pierced him, dark with hurt and determination. “Just stop. You can yell at me about working out. It’s your job and it’s what I agreed to. But don’t lie to me. That’s not part of our deal and I don’t appreciate it.”

  “You think I’m lying to you because I said you’re smart—or beautiful?”

  “I’m smart, I know that, but I’m also…big. Bigger than I ought to be.” She made a face. “America is the land of the supermodels, but unless super-sizing my fast-food order counts, I’m not one of them.”

  His gaze swept over her body, lingering on all the interesting places where “big” was pure temptation. “There are different kinds of beautiful. Maybe you’re not skinny, but that’s not a bad thing in my opinion. That’s not a bad thing to a lot of guys.”

  “I asked you to stop. Don’t do that.”

  “Don’t do what?”

  She lifted her hands, a frustrated expression on her face. “Talk to me that way. Compliment me. Todd did that. And my father. They’d both tell me I was pretty and then they’d tell me what was wrong with me. They’d start with the good then point out that I’d eaten more than I should have, or that my pants were getting too tight and…Oh, why am I telling you this?” Her face flamed once more.

  “Your father said those things to you, too?” That was something he identified with, being put down by one of the people who should have built him up and told him he could be anything, do anything. Or in Jenn’s case told her she
was fine the way she was. The thought of them having that in common stunned him.

  “Yeah. And I know what you’re going to say. I know it’s over and it doesn’t matter in the least, but—”

  “It’s not over if you haven’t moved beyond it. And the fact you’re bringing it up proves that you haven’t dealt with the past.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. Why did some people need to make themselves feel better at the expense of others? “Jenn, if I say something to you, it’s the truth. And if I have any concerns about your weight, it’s only because it’s not healthy for a body to carry too much of it. Diabetes, heart disease, hypertension. I’m sure you’ve heard all this before.”

  She gave him a reluctant nod. “I’m just saying that I’d rather you not say those things to me as if you’re…flirting or something.”

  “Because you think I’m lying if I do?”

  She shrugged. “Forget I mentioned it, okay?”

  Nick fought his frustration. There was more to Jennifer Rose and her weight problem than the obvious. And they had more in common than she might think. He knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of insults. “I won’t say anything to you I don’t mean. Now, can we get on with the session? You’re stalling.”

  A person’s ego could only take so much damage. And Jenn’s had obviously taken as much as it could bear. The blushes, the way she couldn’t maintain eye contact. It all became clear. The meat guy, the cashiers at the grocery store on Saturday. Jennifer had kept her head down in that unmistakable don’t-look-at-me, I’m-not-worthy stance of the walking wounded, her body paying the price for her psychic pain because she was too kind to take her misery out on anyone else.

  Her chin lifted. “I’m not stalling. Not deliberately, anyway. Look, Nick, all I’m saying is that this summer I want to concentrate on me. The real me that isn’t sugar-coated with false words or lies or side trips away from reality, where I pretend dessert hasn’t been my best friend for half my life. Don’t you get it? If I’m going to do this, I need someone to be as honest with me as I am with myself. Suzanne is a wonderful friend, but she isn’t that person. She’s too afraid of hurting my feelings. Which leaves you and this deal we’ve made. You have to be the bad guy and good guy rolled into one and tell me the things I need to hear—whether or not I want to hear them and whether or not they’re nice.”