Their Secret Bargain

by Kay Lyons

  “When he…”

  “Matt, sit still.” Nick pulled out a chair and sat beside his son, placing his hand on Matt’s shoulder.

  “It’s okay. Actually, that’s the perfect place to stop so I can ask you some questions. Matt, when you look at the paper, what do you see?”

  “Letters.”

  “Okay. What do they look like?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Try to describe them, please.”

  “They look…messy.”

  She clasped her hands in front of her and inhaled deeply. “Nick? Your turn.”

  Nick shot her an uncomfortable look. He glanced at Matt next.

  “It’s okay, Dad. I won’t make fun.”

  Jenn gulped when Nick hesitated, his jaw clenching as he ruffled Matt’s hair.

  “Thanks, son. I appreciate that.”

  He squinted at the paper, but she noticed he focused more on the text in the middle of the page.

  “Mr. Baker ran to the gate. That’s when he…noticed a sack.” Nick began shifting the paper back and forth in his hands, his eyes squinted. “Squ—squirming. By the side. Of the road.”

  Nick read for about five minutes. A passage that would’ve taken the average adult less than a minute or two at most. He strained to focus on the paper, and continually shifted it between his fingertips, his forehead pulled into a series of creases.

  “Stop.” She wet her lips and prayed she was right. “Stop right there.”

  Chapter 19

  BOTH TULANES looked at her with varying looks of wariness. Jenn smiled. “First, I want to tell you what I’ve been doing with all of these tests I’ve been giving you. I thought you both might be dyslexic. There is still a possibility, but we’ll get into that later.”

  “Is that bad?” Matt asked, looking pale.

  Jenn rushed to reassure him. “It’s when you have trouble reading because your brain can’t process the letters correctly.”

  “Oh.”

  She looked toward Nick, who just sat there wordless and tense. “Then in my research I ran across something else. It’s called Irlen Syndrome and it has to do with light. Both of you, look at the page right now and tell me exactly what the letters look like.”

  “Fuzzy,” Matt said. “And messy.”

  “Fuzzy and messy. Nick?”

  He inhaled and squinted down at the paper. “They look fine at first, but after a minute or so it looks like the letters are…falling off the page. Distorted, like Matt said.”

  “So you move the paper back and forth because it helps hold the letters in place?” she guessed, based on what she’d read.

  Both father and son nodded.

  “Okay. First off, let me say that nothing has been scientifically proven. But people with lighter-colored eyes have a tendency to be more susceptible to headaches and light-triggered problems such as glare. Doesn’t matter if it’s sunlight or fluorescent light. Add eyestrain, and fatigue from trying to see correctly, and that causes a definite lack of attention, poor concentration, and poor reading ability.” She smiled at them. “Which means your beautiful eyes might very well be the root of the problem.”

  Nick shook his head firmly. “My vision is twenty-twenty. I’ll take Matt to have his checked, but he’s never complained about not being able to see.”

  His expression begged her not to get Matt’s hopes up.

  “I understand. But it’s not your vision—at least, not exactly. You obviously see fine without the aid of corrective lenses, but you’re still seeing the letters as fuzzy, correct?”

  Nick ran a hand over his neck and looked at her, getting impatient.

  “It’s not our eyes, Jenn. I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

  “I’m not disappointed, and it’s not your fault. But I do want to try something. It might not work, and if it’s dyslexia it won’t help at all. But just try it?”

  Nick nodded, albeit reluctantly.

  Jenn dug out the clear-colored plastic sheets she’d special ordered. “One at a time, I want you both to take a sheet and put it over the page. If one of them helps you see the words even a little bit better, set it aside until you know which one works the best.”

  Nick shot her a questioning glance and sat forward, using the sheets only after Matt had put them on the page himself. There were nearly twenty sheets all together, and Jenn began to lose hope after most of the sheets had been rejected.

  Twelve. Thirteen.

  Matt kept going, a frown pulling his eyebrows together. Oh, please work.

  Jenn glanced at Nick only to catch her breath. Nick had stopped and turned stone-still. He blinked. Blinked again. His mouth parting to release a rush of air.

  Oh, please.

  “Dad! Dad, this one works—the letters don’t look messy!”

  Nick swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving slowly in his neck. “Yeah—” he raised his gaze to hers “—so does this one.”

  Jenn shot out of her chair and Nick met her at the end of the table. His arms surrounded her and lifted her high against his chest, his mouth finding hers in a kiss that made her wish Matt was elsewhere.

  “Dad, you’re kissing my teacher!”

  * * *

  JUNE BLENDED into July with hot, humid days and long, humid nights. Nick loved watching Jenn work out, loved teasing a blush to her cheeks and pulling her into his office for a few hypnotic kisses that left them both aching for more. But as they attended July Fourth fireworks, shared picnics, watched movies and did all the things that couples do, he was very aware that summer was passing quickly and August was right around the corner.

  Jenn hadn’t had much contact with her work friends, but what would happen when she went back to school and heard all the things that would no doubt be said?

  “Whoohoo! Go, Tony! Go!”

  The crowd around him burst into cheers as a kid on Matt’s team rounded third and headed for home. Even though Matt wasn’t playing, he’d wanted to be there with his team, and since Jenn had spent more time with him and Matt than she probably should have, she’d firmly set aside today to finish her paper for the human-development class. Her plan was to turn it in, spend tomorrow with Nick and Matt and pack, then leave for her trip.

  Nick didn’t want her to go, but he also couldn’t ask her to cancel her plans. She hadn’t invited him to go with her, either. Nor had she said a word about their relationship or what would happen to them once her tutoring sessions with Matt were over. His pride kept him from asking.

  “Mind if I have a seat?”

  The question jerked Nick out of his daze. His father stood with a hot dog in one hand and a drink in the other. Feeling the watchful eyes of those around him, Nick swallowed his dread and scooted over. Could they have a conversation without Jenn or Gram there to referee? “What are you doing here?”

  “I come when I can.” His father gave him a look. “You haven’t been here much.”

  “The summer’s been busy.”

  “I know. I always said the same thing.”

  Nick bit back the response that sprang to his lips.

  “If you see your mother, I’d appreciate it if you don’t tell her about the hot dog.”

  Nick hesitated, then smirked. “I’m not an idiot.”

  The comment hung there in the air between them. Looked as if his father wasn’t the only one who didn’t know how to keep up a conversation.

  His dad inhaled and sighed, his gaze on the field. “No, you’re not, but I sure treated you like one, didn’t I?”

  He didn’t want to do this. Not now. Definitely not here. “It’s over.”

  “No, son. It’s not yet, but I’d like it to be. If I’d listened half as much as I yelled at you, we wouldn’t be sittin’ here like two lumps on a log.”

  But Nick understood the yelling now. His father had been frustrated, just as he’d been frustrated with Matt. He’d said enough to Matt about his grades that Matt had obviously felt the pressure to forge the notes sent home from school. Where was the
difference?

  “I’m sorry. I’ve never said that to you, but I am.”

  Nick leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, glad that no one was sitting right next to them. As it was, many of the townspeople in the bleachers probably speculated on the two of them talking to one another, but no bystander could hear their words since they were keeping their voices low. To make up for years of yelling at each other? “Me, too.”

  His father cleared his throat. “Things look different, the older you get. I can see my impatience and hotheadedness now, the way I always blew up when you brought home a bad grade. I have excuses, Nick, but they don’t matter. Not anymore. Work and marriage, pressures I reacted to when I was your age. That’s why I mentioned the hours you keep the night of the rehearsal dinner, no other reason. I don’t like the thought of you making my old mistakes with Matt. But I know it’s none of my business and I’ll do my best to keep my opinions to myself. Unless you ask for advice.”

  Nick bit back a rough laugh. Yeah, he’d have to be careful there, all right.

  “If it’s not too late, I’d like to ask your forgiveness.”

  From out of nowhere a lump formed in his throat and he struggled to swallow. He knew what it must have taken for his father to ask that. “Why now?”

  The bench creaked as his father leaned forward. “Matt’s accident made me realize that I haven’t done that well as a dad.”

  “A lot of people would argue that.”

  Dad turned his head, gave him a direct stare. “Would you?”

  Nick thought about his life. Even though they hadn’t gotten along, his father had always been there. He hadn’t abandoned them, hadn’t abused them. “Argue? No.” He focused on the field once more. “But some things I needed to experience on my own.”

  His father didn’t comment and Nick looked over, surprised to see his dad discreetly wiping away tears.

  Nick clasped his hands together in front of him, his elbows digging into his knees. “I…had issues back then that you didn’t know about,” he heard himself say, his tone soft. “Things that made me feel as if I didn’t belong in the family. Was too stupid to be a part of it.”

  “I made you feel that way.”

  His father’s words hadn’t helped, but they weren’t the sole source of his inadequacies. “It was a lot of things, not just you.”

  “I hope one of these days you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about them.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.” But not yet.

  “This Jennifer Rose. She’s a nice woman?”

  “She’s the best.”

  “I see. Things are serious between you?”

  Jenn’s image appeared in his head and he smiled. “Yeah.”

  His father chuckled. “I wore that look when I met your mother.”

  “Mom’s pretty amazing.” He glanced at his dad. “So is Jenn.”

  “You like her that much? If so, you’d better stake a claim soon, if you’re going to.”

  The player at bat hit a home run and the fans around them roared. Nick clapped, but didn’t stand up. He couldn’t. Because he’d just realized that school began in a couple of weeks. A little over two. And she’d be gone most of the time in between.

  Matt had made leaps and strides on the practice tests that Jenn had given him. She’d assured Matt and Nick both that Matt was ready for the fourth grade, and this time there would be no need to worry.

  So what was he waiting for?

  “Where are you going?”

  He hadn’t realized he’d gotten to his feet. “Can you keep an eye on Matt for a couple hours? He’s in the dugout.”

  His father looked as if he’d just handed him the Nobel Prize for medicine. “I’d be happy to. But where are you going?”

  Nick grinned. “I’m taking your advice for once. I’m going to stake my claim.”

  IT HAD TAKEN ALL afternoon to make up his mind and form a plan. He’d cursed a blue streak when he learned that it took weeks to get a passport. If Jenn waited that long, she’d be back to teaching school and unable to take time off to go on her trip. He couldn’t ask her to wait, even if it would make the perfect honeymoon.

  His parents had agreed to keep Matt overnight. His father was so excited by the idea, when Nick had called to check on Matt and ask, that Nick felt guilty. Years of distance wouldn’t disappear right away, but things would improve. Thanks to Jenn.

  After making his very special purchase, he’d put in a food order from the Old Coyote. Picked up flowers and candles. Then he’d gone home to shower and change. Now he parked in front of Jenn’s house and couldn’t believe his eyes. Of all the things to forget. Why hadn’t he called to make sure she wasn’t going anywhere?

  He let himself into the house using the spare key. Finding a favorite radio station, Nick cleared off the dining-room table and arranged the flowers and candles, then put the food in the oven to stay warm. Turning toward the kitchen sink he paused, his gaze locking on a set of water guns lying outside. From there his gaze moved to the basketball beneath the old stringless hoop that was attached to Jenn’s garage.

  There was evidence of Nick and Matt throughout Jenn’s house. Their old game system was hooked up to her TV and one of Matt’s laundered baseball jerseys was folded neatly on the coffee table. Beside it was a T-shirt of his that Jenn had taken to wearing during their nights apart. He liked the thought of her sleeping in his shirts.

  Bleep.

  Nick looked down at his cell phone with a frown. A missed call? Reminding himself that cell phones had a hard time with signals in the mountains, he hit the button to retrieve messages.

  “Nick!” Jenn’s voice brought a broad smile to his lips. “You won’t believe it but I finished my pa-per,” she sang, sounding more than a little giddy with excitement. “I typed the last of it this morning. Finally! I have some last-minute shopping to do for my trip and Suzanne called and asked me to go to her doctor’s appointment with her, so we’re going to make an afternoon of it. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know where I am and that I’ll be home very soon. Probably around six or so. Bye!”

  Still grinning like a loon, he clipped the phone to his belt. Tonight was definitely a night to celebrate. Jenn should be home anytime. He’d wait. Make a few calls. Get some work done. Think of all the things he was going to do to her after he asked her to marry him.

  But first you need to make sure that no one interrupts you.

  Jenn’s desk was neatly organized, with a sheaf of papers stacked by the phone. Her paper? After all the research she’d done on dyslexia and Irlen Syndrome, he couldn’t wait to…

  It was printed on white paper like most everything else in the world, and so he narrowed his gaze to concentrate on the letters before pulling out his wallet and then frowning because he’d left his piece of blue plastic behind somewhere.

  He groaned, remembering he’d last used it in the office of the gym.

  Shaking his head at himself, he squinted, turned his back to the summer sun and struggled to read the words. He couldn’t wait to get a pair of specialized tinted glasses.

  “Family dynamics…in Education: A Fa—Father’s Struggle to Stop Gener-a-tional Illii-Illiteracy.”

  His breath left his lungs and blood surged into his face. What the…

  JENN LET HERSELF into the house, excited to know that Nick was already there. Suzanne’s appointment had been amazing, the images of the baby so detailed that they’d seen the pout of its mouth and watched the heartbeat, loud and strong. She’d have to get started planning a baby shower after she returned from her trip. Oh, if only Nick would come with her. But how did you ask a guy to take a trip like that when things weren’t…long-term? She’d like them to be, but Nick was the strong, silent type, and she’d pushed their relationship enough as it was. What if her notion of it and his were totally different? They needed to talk—that much was obvious. But how to raise the subject?

  Then there was the small-town aspect of it. People in cities might not care i
f she went on a trip with Nick, but in Beauty it would be a constant topic of conversation. Not exactly how she wanted to start a new school year. She had to think about the big picture, and not just about her feelings for Nick.

  “Nick? Nick, I’m home! Did you get my message? I—” She rushed to find Nick but broke off the moment she saw him. “What’s wrong?”

  His gaze narrowed even more and his expression was cold and hard.

  Fear rolled over her. “Nick? Is Matt all right? Where is he?”

  “Matt’s fine.” Nick stood from her desk chair, the papers in his hand rattling slightly. “But this isn’t. You had no right!”

  Jenn watched him anxiously. She wasn’t afraid of him physically, and she knew Nick would never hurt her, but she’d never seen him this angry before—not even when she’d confronted him about not reading to Matt or after his fight with his father. “My report? The professor is tough, but I think I might get an A.”

  “An A. That’s what my life is worth to you—an A?” He crumpled the papers in his hands.

  “Nick! What are you doing? What’s wrong?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Stop repeating everything I say and just tell me.”

  “You’re so smart, do I really have to explain it to you? You think telling the entire town I dropped out because I couldn’t read is no big deal? That the news won’t have an impact on Matt? On my family and my business?”

  “Nick, I-I didn’t use your names. Did you read it?”

  He pointed a finger at her. “You didn’t say anything about using me or my son as guinea pigs!” Nick turned and paced away from her, crossing her small living room in a couple of strides. “I should’ve known. Dear God, I’m a fool. I’m going to be the town idiot all over again!”

  “No, Nick, no. That’s not what I—”

  “And to think I worked my butt off trying to help you while you wrote the thing…I brought you food, so you wouldn’t have to stop to cook. I pitched in with Matt, so you’d have more time to complete your research. I mowed your lawn because you didn’t have time. And in exchange this is what I get?”