Inside

by Kyra Anderson

  He began clapping, as if applauding my father for the act, when it had been my grandfather who had betrayed his oldest son.

  The others of the Commission began clapping. Some of them were genuinely applauding my father while others were hesitant in the praise, unnerved by Dana’s lesson. My father looked at his lap, trying to hide his discomfort.

  “Now, we want the children of the Commission to become future leaders, and that means we must weed out the ones who are not worthy. Keep that in mind.”

  Dana stepped off the platform and walked to one side of the room, abruptly ending his speech. Mrs. Markus blinked out of her stupor and returned to the microphone, obviously feeling concerned as a parent herself.

  “Um…thank you, Mr. Christenson,” she said awkwardly. “Very well, we will get started with the first item…”

  I ignored her, as I always did, glancing behind me to Clark’s empty seat.

  Suddenly, there were two large hands on my shoulders, causing me to take in a surprised gasp.

  “If you don’t mind, Little Lily,” Dana breathed, “I have something I would like to show you.”

  Every part of my body screamed not to go with him, but his hands guided me out of my seat and I followed as he took my wrist. He glanced at my confused parents.

  “There is something I would like to show Little Lily.” Dana smiled at them. “I will bring her back soon.”

  The words eased my mind a little bit. At least he had told someone that I was supposed to come back.

  We walked through the door at the back left corner of the meeting room, which I had never been through before. The hallway on the other side was dark, the sparse lighting illuminating Clark as he fidgeted and paced, his eyes downcast.

  “Clark!”

  I was so relieved to see him that I could not stop myself from running forward and hugging him tightly. He stiffened, and then his arms hesitantly went around my back, patting my shoulder.

  I pulled away, but before I could ask him anything, Dana spoke.

  “Clark has something that he wants to say to you.”

  Clark took a deep breath, his eyes falling to the ground once more.

  “Lily, I owe you an apology,” he whispered. He slowly lowered himself to his knees, his head bent low while I stared on in horror. “I…I was selfish and left you at Archangel alone last night…because of that…you were assaulted and nearly raped. I accept full responsibility and understand the pain that must have been inflicted on you.”

  He lowered his forehead to the ground, his hands on the floor as he prostrated himself.

  “Stop…” I finally managed to whisper.

  “I have been shown the horror of the events you experienced, but if you think…I need more punishment…I understand.”

  “Clark, what the hell are you talking about?” I asked weakly. “Please, get up.”

  He did not.

  “Clark! Please!” I snapped. Still, he did not move.

  Dana wrapped his strong fingers around my shoulders again as I started toward Clark, halting my step.

  “I took the liberty of punishing him for you,” Dana breathed against my ear. “However, I would understand if you think he needs more.”

  “What the hell did you do to him?”

  “Nothing more, nor less, than what happened to you last night,” he said. He leaned his head on the side of mine—I could feel that he had taken off his glasses. “Oh, Little Lily, I told you already. You belong to me. I ordered him to protect you and he failed in his duty. I could not let that go unpunished.”

  “I do not belong to you,” I snarled as strongly as I could manage through my trembling lips.

  Dana chuckled and my entire body tensed at the sound.

  “Do you feel the power, Little Lily?” he hissed. I felt my body go weak, part from fear and part from the excitement that tingled along my skin from his voice. “It’s intoxicating, isn’t it? Having so much power over someone…” I felt his mouth against the shell of my ear. “One might even say it’s,” his hand slid down my arm and to my hip, pulling me against him, “arousing.”

  “Stop,” I growled, trying to worm away from his grasp, though my thoughts immediately returned to the fantasy I had at Archangel the previous night.

  “Look at him,” he ordered. “He is humbled at your feet…completely at your mercy. Don’t you have the urge to abuse him? Just a little bit?”

  “N-no…” I had no urge to hurt Clark. He could not have stopped what happened at Archangel even if he had been there. I was not about to punish Clark for my inattention and the other boys’ malicious intents, even with the urging of Dana Christenson.

  “Really?” Dana breathed, a dark smile lining his voice. “You don’t want to use this power? You know he can’t do anything to fight back. You are in complete control, now.”

  I tried to turn away from Clark, who still had not moved, but Dana’s hand on my chin was firm. I closed my eyes, fighting back frightened and frustrated tears. I could not let Dana see me weep. He had already made me cry far too much. I refused to give him the satisfaction yet again.

  “Open your eyes and look at him,” Dana snapped. Reluctantly, I obeyed when his strong fingers dug further into my jaw. “That’s it. See the power you have, Little Lily? You could kick him right now and he would do nothing to fight you. Don’t you want to see how far you can push him until he starts begging for mercy?”

  “No.”

  “You want to see how it feels to dominate someone.”

  “No…”

  “You want to feel someone’s life,” his arms wrapped around me, though one hand still held my jaw, “in your hands…you want to hear their cries…see their tears…”

  “No…I-I don’t.”

  My head was spinning. I wanted to turn back the hands of time. Back to that first day in Central when I met Becca and how happy I was to have a new friend. Back to when my new school was my biggest concern. Instead, I was now fighting to keep my sense of self, trying not be swept up in Dana’s frightening storm of torture and power. I could not allow myself to succumb to the spell so many in the Commission had already fallen under.

  “You want to feel that power. I know you do.” Dana cooed, holding me tighter. “I know you must have some ideas of what you want to do with him.”

  “Please…p-please…let me go…” I whimpered, my entire body trembling.

  “Now, now, don’t be afraid of it, Little Lily.” Dana grinned wickedly. “Succumb to it.”

  “Please…don’t make me do this,” I pled. I needed to get out. I needed to get out of the basement. I needed fresh air…I felt sick…

  “Lily,” Clark’s voice made me pause. “…I understand that what I did was unforgivable.”

  “Clark! Please, stop!” I cried.

  “I will accept my punishment.”

  “Stop it! Please! Stop it!”

  “Listen to him, Little Lily. He’s willing…”

  “I won’t do it!” I nearly screamed, hoping others in the Commission would hear me and come to investigate.

  “You will,” Dana breathed before kissing my temple, his lips grazing my skin as he said, “I know you will.”

  “I…I am n-not your…goddamn toy.” The statement was not at all threatening. I was so close to crying that my throat was constricted, making it difficult to breathe. “I won’t…I won’t let you do this to me.”

  “Do what to you?”

  “I…I am not like the others…i-in the Commission…”

  Dana chuckled.

  “Of course you’re not, Little Lily,” he whispered. “Why do you think I like you so much?”

  “I-I won’t be your puppet,” I near-sobbed, wishing he would release his hold on my jaw so I could get away from him.

  “But I told you,” he said, “you are the one in control. Go ahead…use your power. Make him pay.”

  “Lily, please, you can punish me…”

  “Stop it!”

  My body went limp, an
d I melted from Dana’s grip, crumbling to the floor, shivering violently and trying to keep the hallway from closing in on me. I sobbed, my body jerking, but I refused to let my tears flow, still feeling Dana’s eyes on me.

  I dragged my body across the floor to the wall, curling against it.

  I looked at Clark, who was still on all fours, but he had looked up when I had fallen, his eyes apologetic and worried. I stared at him, frightened, not sure if the terror was over. I could not catch my breath, no matter how I gulped in air. The tears started blurring my vision, but I angrily blinked them away.

  I would not cry.

  Clark started to crawl forward, but Dana’s foot was immediately in front of the younger man’s face, effectively stopping his advance.

  We both turned our nervous eyes to the leader of the Commission. I saw him staring down at me with his unnaturally-colored eyes, choking as I tried to breathe around my fear.

  He lowered his foot and took a step before crouching and placing a hand against my face. I flinched away from the touch as if it burned.

  “I didn’t get any tears from you tonight.” Dana held my eyes in his stare as I felt myself slip into the worst panic I had ever felt in my life. “Good, that means we’re making progress.”

  He stood, pulling out his dark glasses as he turned on his heel and walked out of the hall.

  Clark and I watched him leave silently. When the door had closed behind him, we remained still for three agonizing seconds. I finally collapsed to my side, sobbing, the terror rocketing through my body once more with shocking intensity.

  Clark’s hand was on my shoulder, startling me. I threw my arms around him, holding him tight as his arms wound around me.

  “I’m sorry!” I gasped. “I’m so sorry!”

  “Shh…don’t be sorry…” I could hear the tears in his trembling voice. I held him tighter, burying my head in his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I know I pushed you. I just wanted him to stop.”

  “What does he want?” I hiccupped. Clark’s arms tightened around me.

  “I don’t know.”

  * *** *

  Clark and I made it back to the meeting in time for the last five minutes, receiving a lot of strange looks from the others in the Commission upon our return. Some of the Commish Kids were looking at us in a horrible way, judging us for any lewd acts we might have been engaging in during our absence.

  I sat at my table, forcing myself to smile at my parents as though nothing was wrong. I avoided looking at Dana at all costs, who was positioned at the side of the room, watching everything with his usual hawk-like intensity.

  “To wrap up the meeting, we would like to report that Gregory Altereye and his men, who, you will remember, have now been in space for two and a half years, have sent us tentative reports of finding other planets that could possibly sustain human life.”

  Everyone in the Commission of the People gasped in awe and excitement. I would have been excited as well if my brain wasn’t so numbed from over-stimulation.

  “As we get more detailed information, we will let you know what we find.” Mrs. Markus smiled. “And, with that, I believe we’re finished for the evening.”

  She closed the meeting and everyone gathered their belongings to leave. However, as happened after all Commission meetings, friends gathered in groups and socialized, talking about work or something that they were planning to do over the course of the following week. I turned to Clark, who motioned me closer.

  “Are you alright?” he whispered. I nodded, even though we both knew it was a lie.

  “What is he doing right now?” I hissed, not daring to look over my shoulder in Dana’s direction.

  Clark’s eyes flicked up.

  “He’s in the same group as your parents,” he answered. He placed a hand on my shoulder again and asked me once more if I was alright.

  “I guess so,” I admitted slowly. “I am really sorry about what happened.”

  “Don’t be,” he said, shaking his head. “I pushed you, I just…” He looked away, embarrassed. “I just didn’t want him to keep tormenting you like that. I wasn’t sure when it was going to stop.” He dropped his voice even further. “You know, if you had just done something, it would have ended sooner.”

  “No,” I said strongly. “I could never live with myself if I hurt someone just because I was pressured into it.”

  Clark gave my shoulder a squeeze.

  “You’re a much stronger person than I am, Lily.”

  “You would have done the same for me, right?” I looked at him worriedly. He smiled and took a deep breath.

  “I hope I would have your strength at that time,” he admitted honestly. “Of course, I would never want to harm you, but…I don’t know how much of Dana’s pressure I could handle.”

  I nodded, satisfied with the answer. I understood how influential Dana could be, so I did not fault Clark for not knowing if he would be able to stop himself from being persuaded.

  “Is he still talking with my parents?” I breathed, casting a wary glance around. He looked up discreetly and nodded. “We don’t have to put up with this, you know. We can find a way to stop it.”

  “Lily, that’s dangerous talk. That’s treason.”

  “I know, so let’s not discuss it here. How do I get in contact with you?”

  Clark glanced up yet again at Dana and his eyes hardened. My heart leapt in my chest. The look told me everything I needed to know. Clark was already an ally in the fight against the Commission of the People and Dana. I knew that Mykail and I would need help. Clark, with the inside knowledge gained from years in the Commission, would know more about Dana’s schedule and how to get close to him than anyone else and would prove invaluable.

  “I know where you live,” Clark hissed. “I will come and see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay.”

  “Now, are you sure you’re alright?” he pressed once final time.

  “I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. It’s a little hard to think right now.”

  “Clark?” a voice called from across the room. We both saw his mother motioning for him. He sighed, squeezing my shoulder one more time.

  “Tomorrow,” he promised. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself as he walked away, and then turned toward my parents, who were still in discussion with Dana.

  “So, would you recommend her for the Commission?” Dana pressed. I stood as far away from Dana as I could, feeling my heartbeat race when I got too close. I was surprised at my ability to bear up to the emotional and mental abuse he was putting me through. At least as far as I knew, my parents didn’t suspect him of the torment. I was beginning to understand how Clark’s mother could not know what Dana was doing to her son. When we had to, we were able to bear up to anything thrown at us. When we had no choice, we adapted.

  “She is a very intelligent woman, and she has been a great help to me,” my father said nervously. I was happy to see that he was slow in recommending another person to be inducted into the Commission of the People. That meant that he had not been put under Dana’s spell yet, and still found the practices in the Commission horrific.

  “Oh, Karen, I was just telling Samantha here about your wonderful imagination for charity events,” a woman said excitedly, walking up to my mother. She turned to Dana. “Oh, please forgive me, Mr. Christenson. I did not mean to interrupt.”

  “No trouble.” He nodded, allowing my mother to leave the conversation to discuss something else with another group. I watched my mother be pulled away, worried that someone was going to distract other members of the group and leave me alone with Dana once again.

  “We already know all that,” Dana laughed coldly, as if scolding my father for saying something foolish. “I was wondering what you thought about her ability to be a part of this Commission in the broader sense. She knows much about border control, being from so far north, and we have been having difficulties with illegals along that northern border with the civil war in Canada.”

  “I
am not sure,” my father said. “Mrs. Davis might not be able to handle certain aspects of the Commission…”

  I blinked, surprised to hear Becca’s mother brought up.

  Dana looked at his hands, fiddling with the watch pensively.

  “I see…” he murmured. “Well, that is a shame…poor woman. Her husband is such a well-known philanderer that she must be desperate for some sense of belonging.”

  My father started a bit, as did I. I was, once again, unsure if Dana was telling the truth or if he was trying to get under our skins—then again, Dana had some truths that got under my skin.

  “I was not aware…”

  “Oh, yes, the poor dear,” Dana confirmed, though the words passed like acid on his lips. “She really should have someone to take care of her. She works so hard at what she does, it seems wrong to have her do all the work in her private life, as well, with such little reward.”

  There was something about that sentence that made a disgusting shiver run through my body.

  “Dana,” Sean said, walking to Dana’s side, leaning in and whispering something in his boss’ ear. Dana listened intently as we watched, wondering what was happening.

  “Very well,” Dana said. He turned to the rest of us. “If you will excuse me.”

  Without another glance, he swept out of the room by the door near the back of the platform, Sean in tow. I relaxed, not realizing the tension that had claimed my muscles for such a prolonged period of time. My father offered me a small smile, which I forced myself to return.

  “Are you alright?” he asked. “You look a little pale.”

  “I’m fine,” I assured before I could stop myself. “Just tired.”

  “I agree. It’s late. Let’s go home.”

  * *** *

  When we got home, I told my parents Clark was coming over to help me with a project for school. They were both tired, so neither questioned what I was saying, wishing me good night.

  I walked slowly to the stairs, listening to figure out if they were going to bed immediately.

  To my misfortune, they stayed up. I heard my mother rustling around in the kitchen as I made my way upstairs. When I reached the top, I sat, listening to them. For several long moments, I heard nothing other than my mother walking across the kitchen and pulling out a chair at the table. After a few more agonizingly silent moments, my mother sighed.