Inside

by Kyra Anderson

  “You’re Dana’s new little slut, right?” Dean snarled. “So, you find a way to convince him. Beg, cry, fucking suck his cock, it doesn’t matter. Just find a way.”

  “Fuck you!” I barked. “You really think that I can convince Dana to do anything? If you want her out, you convince him!”

  “You’re saying that you don’t care about Miranda or Julie?”

  “I’m saying that you should do something about it rather than use me as a shield like a fucking coward!”

  “Dana is more willing to listen to you than any of us,” Kelly said. “You have a better chance.”

  “I can’t get her out. Dana will be set on keeping her. You already tried to switch yourself for Julie and he wouldn’t take the deal. What makes you think I will have better luck?”

  “Because you’re the new favorite,” Ryan repeated simply, as if a child would understand the concept. “We would ask Clark, but he’s been Dana’s favorite for years now, and since Dana is now interested in you, seems like he’s not as into Clark anymore. You can get his attention.”

  “Dana won’t let her go,” I said strongly.

  “What will happen to them?” Kayla whispered, her voice weak. Everyone fell silent, the words sitting heavy in the air.

  “Think about the experiments you all have at home,” I breathed, my eyes lowering to the ground. “Don’t you think that their friends and family felt the same way we do now? They probably wanted to get their son or daughter or girlfriend or anyone they cared about out of the Commission.” I looked up at them, sighing heavily. “Is there anything you can think of that we can do? I don’t think Dana will budge.”

  Make them approach it. Don’t implicate yourself… I told myself.

  “Besides begging Dana or switching places…no.” Felicity shook her head, her eyes downcast. “It’s not like we can rebel.”

  “Why the hell not?!” Dean snapped. “I am fucking pissed! Dana Christenson may be the leader of the Commission, but he’s not a god. He can be taken down. He’s gotten fucking paranoid!”

  “No kidding,” Ryan agreed with a strong nod. “Reinstating Sweeps? Believing false accusations against teens? It’s the Post-Revolution Purge all over again. There’s no reason for it!”

  “You’re saying he’s becoming paranoid, but now you’re talking about overthrowing him, which means his paranoia is justified. He’ll be ready for rebellions,” Matt groaned, exasperated. “He’s Dana fucking Christenson of the Commission of the People! He’s got the entire military of America at his disposal and night-raid Sweeps teams that will crush any revolution brewing. You’ll be taken in like Miranda and Julie if you try anything.”

  “Then we can work from the inside!” Dean growled. He approached Matt, angrily grabbing his blazer collar with both hands and pulling him close. “You know Miranda never dealt drugs, and you know for a fact that six-year-old Julie didn’t carry drugs in her fucking stuffed animals, so Dana brought in both of them under false accusation and made an example of them in order to scare us into line. Those are fear tactics that the government used before the revolution.”

  “No, those are the fear tactics the Commission of the People use today,” Matt retaliated. “Christ, Dana is Leader Simon’s attack dog, and you want to stick your hand in his cage and piss him off?”

  “If I have to, I will put him down like a dog,” Dean sneered. “The Commission of the People might need a new leader anyway. Dana’s still acting like we’re in the revolution. The population is clean. We don’t need the Commission anymore.”

  “And what are you going to do about it?” Matt challenged. “You’re forgetting the entire American military he has at his disposal.”

  “My uncle is the Chair of Warfare. If word doesn’t actually get to the military, no one will act on it.”

  I watched, listening carefully. The aspect of military involvement had been keeping me up at night. I had no idea how we were going to stand up against a man who could call the nation’s armed forces to his aid. Hearing that Dean’s uncle was the Chair of Warfare gave me a glimmer of hope that a solution had presented itself. We didn’t have to defeat the military, we just had to keep the officers uninformed until we had the people’s attention and support.

  “This is treasonous talk,” Matt hissed. “I want Miranda and Julie out also, but going up against Dana? The Commission? It’s like tackling the government all over again, and all it will do is lead to bloodshed, and probably an even worse system, regardless of whether you fail or succeed.”

  “You’ve been reading An Angel Without Wings. Thomas Ankell didn’t know if he was going to live or die, or succeed or fail, but he could not stand what was happening around him, and he would have rather died than sit back and pretend to not see what was going on. I’m going to do the same,” Dean declared. He looked around the group of teenagers. “I refuse to let Dana get away with this. I don’t care if he takes me, too. I’ll fight him until he relinquishes his title as head of the Commission of the People, or until I’m dead.”

  Everyone was quiet, sharing worried glances, not sure how to respond.

  Dean looked exasperated.

  “Aren’t you pissed?!” he bellowed. “Someone accused Miranda falsely and she was taken into the Commission. Who’s to say that the same won’t happen to you? The Commission is stepping out of its bounds! Dana’s stepping out of his bounds and disregarding the rules he’s supposed to enforce! Are you really going to stand by and let him do that?!”

  “No,” was the general hesitant consensus.

  “Fine. Saturday at the meeting we’re speaking up, in front of our parents, Dana, everyone. We still have our right of speech. We are within our rights to voice discontent.”

  I was pleased that I had not put myself in the position of leader of the angry group. It was safer to let the others take action first, until I knew how to use my close proximity to Dana to my advantage.

  The others were finally thinking of rebelling, but, like a coward, I had not stated anything about the revolution I had been planning with Mykail and Clark.

  I didn’t want to put myself in direct danger just yet.

  * *** *

  Mark was waiting by the car after school. Since I was earlier than Clark, I felt a little awkward standing in silence with the former experiment.

  “Good afternoon, Mark,” I said as I approached. He bowed his head. “How are you?” I asked on reflex.

  He lifted his head, but did not move otherwise until he cocked his head to the left, confused.

  “How are you?” I repeated, enunciating all syllables. I was sure he had been asked before, since it was a common courtesy question.

  Mark’s mouth opened and he nodded in realization before becoming flustered about how to respond. He lifted his hand and gave me a hesitant thumbs up with a small smile. The action was so innocent that, before I could help it, I laughed. His smile widened and he dropped his hand, his shoulders shaking as he chuckled silently, embarrassed.

  “What’s so funny?” Clark asked as he approached.

  “Nothing really,” I said. “I asked him how he was doing and he gave me a thumbs up. It was cute.”

  “He can be cute,” Clark agreed. “He has an innocent face.” He nodded to my hand. “How are your wounds?” I glanced at my bandages.

  “Okay. They itch but they don’t hurt.”

  “That’s good. Are you ready to go?” he asked, looking between me and Mark.

  Mark opened the door to the backseat.

  He drove us to the Commission of the People and we checked in before going to the basement and finding a conference room to study in. I was already less nervous than the previous day.

  “How was school?” Clark asked casually as we walked into the room, the lights flickering on.

  I hesitated as I set my backpack and purse down. I wanted to tell him about the confrontation at lunch, but I knew I could not discuss it within the Commission.

  “Oh, it was really tough, particularly L
it class,” I said. “We had a quiz on An Angel Without Wings, and I am just not seeing what Mr. Dermott is talking about. Can you help me?”

  The hesitation was clear on his face, hearing the hidden meaning in the request.

  “Sure,” he said finally, picking up his backpack and bringing it with him as he sat next to me. I saw his eyes flick to Mark, who was standing by the door to the conference room, his back to us. “What do you need help with?”

  I faltered, still unsure how to hold the conversation. I hesitated before pulling out the electronic version of the book and clicking the screen to life, pulling out the note-taking pen.

  “I don’t really know,” I hissed. “I mean, we’re here,” I underlined a line in red.

  “We have people who want to help…”

  “Oh…okay…” His eyes were confused, asking me the question he could not say aloud.

  “I just can’t seem to grasp the content. You know, how the symbolism applies to real life and all.”

  The gears clicked.

  “Okay.” He grabbed his own electronic of the book. “Here are my notes,” he said, scanning the page before underlining a word.

  “Who?”

  “But Dean said that it applied to the modern times as well as American history.”

  “Dean?” Clark repeated. “He’s not the best student. Maybe he misheard.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Have you read the newest assigned chapter?”

  “No.”

  “Tell you what,” he said, his voice uneven, “we’ll read the chapter and make different notes on it, then compare.”

  I caught on quickly. I shifted in my seat so I could glance at his screen without moving my head, being sure he could do the same for mine.

  Our silent conversation began.

  He wants to help? Clark underlined the words in the order he wanted to say them as he found them on the page. I did the same.

  He’s very angry.

  About the last meeting?

  Yes.

  He would be a strong ally, Clark admitted. He knows powerful people. What did you tell him?

  Nothing, I assured. I let him talk to the others.

  Others?

  There is a group.

  Who?

  Annoyed that Clark had asked me for specifics, I wrote each name in the margin.

  Felicity. Samantha. Ryan. Kayla. Kelly. Dean. Karmen. Trevor.

  What did they say?

  They were angry. They didn’t want to be controlled.

  What do you want to do?

  Maybe you can talk to them. You know them better.

  I glanced up and let out a startled yelp, falling back in my seat. Dana was crouched outside the conference room, only his nose and eyes visible through the window as he watched us.

  Clark also jumped when he saw the unnatural golden eyes. Mark was still at his post by the door, and seemed not to notice the leader of the Commission lurking like a child outside the conference room.

  For several long moments, no one moved.

  When the initial shock passed I became confused.

  “Is he going to move?”

  “Who knows?” Clark said, his eyes also locked on Dana.

  “What do we do?”

  “Ignore him. He’ll get bored and either leave or come in.”

  Even though Clark said to ignore Dana, he was unable to move his eyes from the leader of the Commission of the People, just like me.

  I glanced a few times back and forth between Dana and Clark, and finally went back to my copy of An Angel Without Wings, trying to ignore the prickling over my skin.

  I tried to quickly—but nonchalantly—delete the notes I had made in the margins, but I was sure the action looked suspicious to the sharp eyes of the Commission leader.

  I saw Clark glance at his book as I moved my eyes along the lines of words, listening for the door to the conference room to open.

  I dared not look up to confirm that Dana was still peering through the window.

  The door did finally open and I looked up. Dana walked in, closing the door behind him.

  “Hey, kids,” he greeted with a smile. “How was school today?”

  Neither of us could respond, so we glanced at one another before staring blankly at Dana. He approached the table and placed both hands on the back of one chair, leaning forward with a bright smile.

  “What? Why do you two seem so nervous? I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” He looked suggestively over the two of us, a dangerous edge in his voice.

  “What would you be interrupting?” Clark took the task of answering out of my hands.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Dana sighed, sitting in the chair at the head of the table, putting his feet on the glossy table’s surface. “You can never trust what goes through the mind of a young man when he’s left alone with a young woman, especially a particularly beautiful young woman like Little Lily.”

  Dana studied his nails, uninterested.

  “For instance, it might start with a simple observation of how pretty her eyes are, or her lips, and before he can help it, that young man is thinking of how her features would look during a slew of lewd and perverted acts.” He pointed at Clark with a devilish smile. “See? Like just now.”

  “I was not thinking of anything like that!” Clark defended sharply.

  “Yes, you were.”

  “Dana, we’re not alone,” I snapped, pointing to Mark. Dana glanced in the direction of the experiment and shrugged.

  “He’s a man like any other, Little Lily,” he told me. “Even though I fix all the experiments, they still have urges.”

  I groaned and rolled my eyes, which made him chuckle.

  “You don’t approve.”

  “I don’t approve of most of the things you do.”

  “Why?”

  “Why would I approve?” I challenged.

  “Because I am making the world safer,” Dana answered. “I am giving those people who live out there,” he motioned his hand in the air to symbolize the American people, “a chance to live that old American Dream people used to rave about before the government began selling the bastardized version.”

  “By bringing in some of the people who are trying to achieve that same dream and mutilating them?” I snarled. “What makes their dreams any less important?”

  “Oh, Little Lily, you are so young and idealistic,” Dana sighed, shaking his head, smiling. I tried to reign in my anger. “Everyone’s dream is important to them. And that’s the only person they care about when achieving their dreams.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “No?”

  “Friends and family care.”

  “Oh, they do?” Dana challenged, taking his feet off the table and leaning forward. “So, your parents picking you up and moving you here was part of your dream? They knew that?”

  “It wasn’t my dream, it was my father’s dream, and because I love him, I was willing to make that sacrifice,” I explained. With the way his eyes glinted, I knew I had his full attention and we were about to debate.

  “So, you have to sacrifice your dream for your father’s because you love him? Because half of him is inside you? Because he raised and protected you?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you don’t think he protected you well enough, do you?” Dana smirked. “Or you wouldn’t be here right now, is that correct?”

  I hesitated. It was no secret to Dana that I did not want to be in the Commission of the People, or anywhere near its leader.

  “I feel like no one could stop you if you want something, Dana,” I said. “And I know you wanted my family here.”

  “You flatter me,” Dana chuckled, leaning back in his seat once again. “But I have a question for you, Little Lily. When you sacrificed for your father’s dream of coming to Central, doesn’t that mean that you feel your own dream is substandard in comparison to your father’s? That you believed his ambitions were more important because of some abstract bond
of familial obligation?”

  Again, I faltered. When he saw I was struggling, he continued.

  “Why did he not care about your dream?”

  “It wasn’t like that…”

  “Then how was it?”

  I stumbled, opening and closing my mouth uselessly, my tongue tripping over my teeth.

  “You can’t even answer.”

  “It’s not as though he completely disregarded what I wanted,” I defended. “He was elected.”

  “So, the people are using him as a means to an end for their own dreams, then,” Dana declared. “Electing someone who will give them what they ask for, something to make that struggle of life a little easier. Are their dreams more important than yours?”

  “How should I know? Maybe,” I admitted, getting angry with the debate that I was obviously losing. Dana snapped his fingers and pointed at me with a smile.

  “There you go,” he said. “You now realize that everyone’s dreams are not equal, even if it is of great or equal importance to each individual.”

  “It’s not my place to take anything from anyone,” I said, my voice raising. “If our dreams are all equal, then I have to work just as hard for it. I can’t cheat and steal from other people.”

  “But people have no problem doing that anyway,” Dana pointed out. “That’s all the government used to do. Give, give…give everyone their rewards without the work, and what happened? America became a land with a lazy, entitled population that screwed the other half of the population who would rather be given what others must work for.”

  “What if they are willing to work?”

  “If they were, I would have no need to take them in,” Dana said simply, his eyes wandering around the room—he was getting bored.

  “So, people who come from other countries don’t even have the option to work hard? They are denied the dream that used to make America the best country in the world?”

  “They have their own countries,” Dana groaned. He glanced at me sideways, rolling his eyes. “The world is a much smaller place than it used to be. Why do you think Gregory Altereye and his men are trying to find other planets to live on? We need to expand. But, until that point, people are going to need to work within their own country. It’s no longer the time where people can lead a country one direction, fuck it up, and then go to another one because it’s too difficult to fix their own. America did it with the Second Revolution. It’s messy, and it’s bloody, but it needs to be done for a country to function properly.”