Inside

by Kyra Anderson

  No one in the communications room could speak, stunned.

  The camera cut away from the scene just as the decoy’s bloody and contorted face could be seen. His skin was falling off his face, melting away from his bones as his eyes were shut tightly, his nose sinking into the rest of his face, the blood pouring over his disfigured features. It was the most gruesome sight I had ever seen.

  I completely ignored what the anchor was saying, the image of the man’s melting face behind my eyelids every time I blinked.

  “What the fuck was the purpose of that?” Tori hissed.

  “There was no way Dana could have planned that.” Clark shook his head. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Whether he planned it or not, it helps him in the end,” I growled. “We attacked him when he came to resign from the Commission. In the eyes of the public, we reacted to his call for a peaceful treaty with acid.” I looked at them, finally tearing my eyes away from the anchor who was trying to hide how mortified she was. “I would be surprised if Dana didn’t plan that…”

  “He already had us in a corner, though,” Griffin shook his head. “This was just extra.”

  There was a two hour frenzy as the decoy of Dana Christenson was taken to the hospital for treatment. It was repetitive, aggravating, and more than anything, it made me more confused about Dana’s intensions. It was true, it cast us in an even worse light in the public eye, and we lost what little support we might have had. But it was as Griffin said. This was extra. Dana could have waited for us to actually make a move against him, knowing that we would never want to negotiate.

  So why did he make such a horrific scene?

  It was all over every news channel that Dana Christenson had been attacked and was in critical condition at the hospital. There were speculations across all media fronts about why the Central Angels had attacked when the head of the Commission of the People had agreed to step down peacefully.

  We had officially become a terrorist group that needed to be stopped rather than a revolution.

  Griffin, Tori, Clark, and I gathered together in the back of the room to discuss what we could do to counter the damage that had been done to our image. Mykail even chimed in a few ideas, completely shocked at the cruelty Dana had shown to his own men.

  Mark had disappeared.

  When the news came four hours later that ‘Dana Christenson’ was in stable condition, I left to find the leader of the Eight Group.

  I had to walk through the whole fort to locate him. I tried the bunk rooms, the strategy room, the shooting range, and the abandoned recreation room that he had been living in. However, Mark was nowhere to be seen.

  Finally, I moved into the smaller armory rooms further down the hall from the medical room. There was not much in those rooms, but there was some equipment to repair guns and a table with a light, which was where Mark was sitting, carefully cleaning the different components of one of the four guns in front of him.

  I closed the door behind me, grabbing his attention and causing him to turn around. When he saw me, I halted, waiting for his reaction. He stared for a few moments before turning back to his task, picking up a rag and wiping down the gun.

  I stepped forward again, approaching slowly but making sure he heard my footsteps, wary of sneaking up on the agitated experiment. I looked at the guns on the table, knowing that Mark only carried two. The other two had belonged to Josh. I saw the bracelet I had returned moving on Mark’s wrist as he worked on the weapon.

  “Mark?” He did not stop in his work, which shook my nerves, not sure if I should try talking to him. I took a deep breath and steadied myself. “Listen, I need to talk to you…”

  Still, he continued working.

  “Mark…Dana has us in a corner right now, and I don’t know what to do. I’m really frightened…” I admitted, my voice breaking. I cleared my throat, trying to be discreet about my anxiety. “And now…you’re somewhere else and I don’t know how to reach you.”

  Mark’s hand stopped. His head did not move, his eyes going unfocused as he listened to what I had to say.

  “I know you’re in pain…” I managed to choke out. “And I wish I could take that pain away. I know I have no right to ask you for more than you’ve already given me, but I…I need you. I can’t do this without you…”

  My voice broke and the tears tumbled out of my eyes, streaming down my cheeks. I lifted my hands to my face, trying to bite back the sobs that were threatening to rip out of me. I saw through my blurred vision that Mark had put down the gun and turned to me, staring at me through tormented eyes.

  “I know how much you loved Josh…Woobin…” I corrected, closing my eyes. “And I can only imagine how hurt you are over his death. But please, don’t bury yourself with him…don’t disappear from me. Without you…I…” I trailed off, not sure how to continue.

  “I’m so scared, Mark, that I’m going to lose you, too…” I finally said. “Please, come back to us. Help us find a way out of this mess. I think you’re the only one who can…”

  Mark sniffed and raised a hand to his face, rubbing his eyes to keep the tears back. Before I could stop myself, I lunged forward and hugged him tightly, crying loudly into his shoulder.

  “Please, don’t leave me!” I sobbed hysterically. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! It’s my fault that he’s dead, I know…but I’m begging you to forgive me…”

  Mark’s arms went around me and he held me tightly.

  There was a small glimmer of emotion in the hug that I understood immediately.

  Don’t blame yourself…

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” I continued to chant, blubbering incessantly into his jacket, repeating the only thing I could.

  “I just can’t do this without you… I can’t…”

  He held me close. I felt his own tears fall onto my shoulder and seep through the fabric of my shirt.

  * *** *

  “On behalf of the Commission of the People, I stand before you with news regarding Dana Christenson’s well-being,” Mrs. Markus said, standing at the podium of the regular press conference room. “Mr. Christenson and the three men who were also injured in the acid attack yesterday are all in stable condition. Two of the security detail will have permanent scars on their faces. Reconstruction of their noses and ears will take place in the next few days.

  “Mr. Christenson, on the other hand, is severely scarred. His mouth was mostly destroyed in the attack, and he is now unable to speak, drink, or eat on his own. His nose will also need reconstruction and he is mostly blind due to the attack,” she explained. “The doctors predict that he will be in pain for the rest of his life.

  “The viciousness of this attack has stunned everyone,” she continued, an angry quiver in her voice. “The Central Angels…these little terrorists, have given their answer to Mr. Christenson’s offer of a peaceful compromise with violence. We are appalled and horrified at what has happened, but we at the Commission of the People want the American people to know that we will not allow this threat to continue. We will not allow a group to use terror tactics and get away with attacking people in the horrific practices that they have shown.

  “We showed them mercy for attacking the government buildings, and we extended the negotiations to them, but we will not show them such kindness after the horrific attack on Dana Christenson,” she snarled, her voice dark. “It is true, they seem to have people who can act as weapons, people who can fly, those who are said to be able to fire a bullet without a gun. This is technology that came from the Commission of the People and we will now use it to defeat this group,” she declared. “We will find a way to make a stronger weapon that can take down these threats before they kill more American citizens. We must protect ourselves and our country from such horrors in the future.”

  “That…son of a bitch!” I hissed angrily. “That’s what this was about!” I looked at Griffin, my eyes wide. “This is his justification for the Machine of Neutralization…” I
hissed. “He’s bringing it to the public eye now, saying that they’re creating it to combat us. He’s getting the public to support the project!”

  “Mother fucker…”

  “We will not allow these little terrorists to run our lives, to threaten our government and then attack when we offer them the solution that they demanded. Instead, we will crush these terrorists. We will show them that the people of America are still strong and united against the dictators and terrorists who frighten us into a corner to control us. We will triumph over them!”

  The entire country was at war against us.

  Original Printed Ending

  For Alternate Ending, Click Here

  Chapter Sixty-Nine

  No one knew what to do.

  It was impossible to rid the fort of the air of defeat. There was absolutely nothing we could do to fight Dana. He had swept the metaphorical rug out from under us, and with the country rallying to get rid of us, we were in twice as much danger.

  No one really spoke to one another the following day.

  Then, I took things into my own hands.

  I called everyone into the main bunker, telling them to sit in a circle and tell me what they thought we should do. Most of the people said that we should remain where we were, while others said we needed to try and cross the southern border and get out of the country, even though that would not stop Dana from coming after us.

  Some had no idea what the best course of action would be, and remained still and silent, their conflicted eyes locked on the ground.

  But there was no one who said we should fight.

  Therefore, it was decided that we would try to make our way across the southern border into the Republic of Mexico.

  Mark brought out a map of safe houses across the country. When I asked where the map came from, Mark told me that he had stolen it from Dana’s office in a folder of objects that had belonged to The Coalition, the same group my uncle had been part of. All houses were approximately four days apart if a group walked along back roads and remained on foot. There were procedures for using the safe houses that I would have never believed, such as showing a particular sign and knowing a certain handshake. Griffin and Tori agreed that we should teach everyone these signs and send groups of four to five people every six days along a path toward the southern border. It was the only way we would be able to survive.

  According to Tori, there was one person, who would be unable to follow the plan.

  I thought there were two people who would never be able to leave.

  I was one of them.

  Two nights after the broadcast that declared us the national enemy, I pulled Mykail aside, taking him into the recreation room that Mark had used for mourning, hoping not to be disturbed. Sitting at the table, I sighed heavily.

  “You know that we are trying to find a way to get everyone across the border…”

  “I know.”

  “I don’t think it’s practical that you go the same way as everyone else,” I told him, my eyes focused on his feet, trying to avoid eye contact. “You have a tendency to stick out.”

  “I know,” he repeated, chuckling sadly.

  “Would it be possible for you to fly across the border?”

  He shook his head. “I’m afraid not…”

  “Why not?”

  “Because…pretty soon my wings will no longer work,” he admitted. I could only stare at him. “My right one is already going numb.”

  I shook my head, closing my eyes.

  “So, what do you want to do?”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “I do.”

  “No, Lily…” He shook his head. “Look…I’ve been thinking a lot about my life these past few days…and I don’t see any viable option to continue.”

  “To continue what?” I whispered, horrified at what I thought he was trying to say.

  “Lily, if I don’t go back to the Commission and get treatment soon, the wings will kill me anyway.” He dropped his head. “And I will be killed if I go back to the Commission.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’ve been thinking about talking to Mark about killing me…” he murmured. “I know he wouldn’t be opposed to it…”

  “I would!” I snapped, my eyes wide. “Are you fucking insane? You want to have Mark kill you?”

  “I think it’s best,” he admitted, looking at his hands.

  “How could you just throw your life away like that?” I growled.

  “What else can I do, Lily?” he asked weakly. “I think…after everything, really, this is the best thing.”

  “What do you mean, after everything?”

  “After all the pain I caused you, after almost endangering the revolution…”

  “…I think it was doomed from the start…” I whispered. “Look at us now. The revolutionaries running with our tails between our legs to the south…”

  “You’re saving lives, you’ve saved lives,” he told me strongly, putting a hand on mine.

  “And I’m also responsible for several deaths…”

  “What happened to Josh was not your fault. It was Becca’s, and you can’t blame yourself for what she did,” he whispered.

  “Josh is only one person…” I murmured. “What about Tara? If she had had the medicine from the Commission, she wouldn’t have died like that. And Francesca and Cooper? They died on the raid I rushed into. And all those people who died when Dana attacked Central…if I hadn’t been stupid and challenged Dana, he would have never done that.”

  “Lily, stop,” Mykail said, taking my hand in both of his. “The fault lies with those who did the action. You didn’t think about killing all those people in Central, you didn’t think of betraying Mark’s and Josh’s trust like Becca did.”

  “I should have realized it was a possibility…”

  “You’re only human, Lily,” he reminded me, one hand gently touching my cheek. “You can’t know everything, or foresee everything.”

  I decided to bite my tongue. I could make a million arguments about how everything was entirely my fault, but I didn’t want anyone telling me it wasn’t my fault. I knew it was and I knew people would try to tell me otherwise.

  “I can’t go across the border, either,” I whispered, my head low and my voice mumbled.

  “What? Why not?” he asked, his hand falling away from my face.

  “If I go, Dana will follow. I’m the one he wants…” I sighed, shaking my head. “If I go, I bring him with me, and I endanger everyone again. Dana is not going to give up on me just because I crossed the border.”

  “So…what are you going to do then?”

  This time, I reached forward and took his hand.

  “You don’t want to know…” I repeated his earlier statement. His eyes widened and his hand tightened around mine.

  “Lily…” he hissed. “No.”

  “And why not?” I challenged. “You’re willing to throw your life away and you won’t listen to me when I tell you no.”

  “That’s different,” he protested. “I don’t have a choice.”

  “And I do?”

  He was silent, staring at me, conflicted.

  “You know that Dana won’t let a border stop him,” I whispered. “This whole thing was about me, he said so himself…” I lowered my head, my hands still in his. “The best thing for me to do is to turn myself over to him and hope that he’ll let everyone else go across the border.”

  Mykail looked at the floor before leaning forward and pressing his lips to my forehead, which caused me to look up quickly, surprised. I looked into his eyes and saw the turmoil, the mutual conflict we shared about our dark, uncertain futures.

  “What was that for?” I murmured.

  Mykail sighed, looking at the floor again, as if searching for the answer on the dirty cement.

  “I don’t know…” he admitted quietly. “I guess…I still want to be the person who supports you when you’re troubled.” His thumb moved comf
ortingly over my hand and I smiled at the warm feeling spreading through me from the contact.

  “I still care about you…” Mykail breathed. “I still love you, Lily.”

  I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths to contain the typhoon of emotions inside of me.

  “I would be lying if I said I didn’t love you…” I admitted. I squeezed his hand. “But…what I learned…what Dana said…that can’t be undone…”

  “I know,” he said. “I thought that I just needed the right time to tell you what Dana had sent me to do and to tell you that I wanted no more part of it, but I was a coward. I was too afraid of you hating me…” He barked a laugh. “But I guess that already happened…”

  “I don’t hate you,” I told him. “I don’t. I’m starting to learn how to trust you again. But…I will never be able to forget the pain I felt when Dana told me he had sent you to basically trick me into doing the revolution.” I dropped my head. “Especially now, when Josh is in an unmarked grave and Mark is…unreachable. I feel the blame for that…and every now and then, I think about what Dana said about your role in angering me enough to go up against the Commission.” I shook my head slowly. “…we can never go back to what we were.”

  “I know…” he repeated. “I don’t have any illusions about you forgiving me and resuming our relationship. I know the damage is too far done.” He squeezed my hand. “But I do want to tell you that I love you. And that I don’t want to see you in any danger or pain.”

  “Too late for the danger part, I think…” I tried to joke. I looked at him seriously. “I love you, too. Which is why it hurts me to think that you would be willing to throw your life away.”

  “There’s nothing to throw away,” he said. “I’m already dying.”

  I felt hot tears prick at my eyes and I sniffed, looking up at the flickering light to try and hold them at bay.

  “I don’t want you to ask Mark to kill you,” I declared slowly. “You’ve put me in a horrible position, you know that? I have to try and rationalize which horrible fate would be the least painful for you.”