Inside

by Kyra Anderson

  I began to hyperventilate, looking over the familiar faces, remembering how well I had known the people in the grave.

  “I said good can destroy evil?” Josh hissed. “Good doesn’t exist…whatever scrap of goodness was in the human race was destroyed by Dana…by everything Dana is…evil didn’t destroy good…it never let it come into being…”

  I turned to Josh, my eyes wide with fear.

  “That’s something you’re going to have to accept…” Josh whispered.

  He moved quickly, grabbing my arm and pushing me violently into the pit. I screamed, feeling the weightlessness of falling before jolting suddenly on the cold ground, pain radiating through my arms and shoulders as they broke my fall.

  I stared at the cool cement under me, my eyes blurred with tears that were falling to make splatters on the ground.

  I lifted my head to look around the white cell, seeing how far in the back of the cell I really was. I turned and saw the half-wall concealing the area of the toilet just behind me.

  That must have been where I had fallen.

  I clamored to my feet, looking around, waiting for Josh to appear. Every ill-timed heartbeat sent my body on edge, expecting Josh to show up.

  But he never did.

  I had lost Josh once again.

  * *** *

  There was a feeling in my stomach that I had heard of and had experienced a few times before, but I was unable to act on it now. It was the feeling that grabbed at my core and told me to run as far away as I could, telling me to get away from the five approaching men because they were dangerous and they had every intension of harming me.

  I backed away from them as they walked into my cell, but when I backed myself into the wall, their leader grabbed my wrists and fastened them in the cuffs. He pinched my skin in the metal and then grabbed the connecting chain, pulling me upright again.

  “Come on.”

  I unwillingly followed, seeing the various smirks on the faces of the others.

  We went to the other lab.

  Once we were in the lab and I heard the door closed, I felt the sense of doom fall over me.

  “We’re going to start your fourth test now,” the leader said, leading me to the table. He began unlocking the cuffs around my wrists. I was shaking in fear as his fingers moved over the cuffs and finally placed them on the nearby table, reaching back and grabbing my shirt, pulling the buttons open angrily.

  I screamed and tried to move away, my hands going up to defend myself. However, another set of hands came up behind me and pulled my arms to my side, locking them in an incredibly strong grip.

  “Stop it!”

  “Hold still, you little bitch!” another snapped, helping with my struggling arms as they moved them through the sleeves of my shirt, leaving me half-naked.

  “Don’t flatter yourself, you little whore,” the leader laughed coldly. “We were just going to undress you for the test, nothing more.”

  I thrashed around, kicking my legs in an attempt to get them away. Even though I knew there was really no escape, I wanted to at least hurt them back.

  “Hold still!” the man repeated, grabbing my hair, pulling my head to the side. I reacted quickly, opening my teeth and feeling them sink into flesh as the man pulled away, his skin breaking, leaving the taste of blood in my mouth.

  “You little bitch!” he bellowed, his hand striking me across the face. The force of the hit sent me reeling and my legs went weak as my eyes closed tightly to keep from exploding. Before I could recover from the first strike, the hand returned on the same path and hit me again. This time, the man behind me let me go, and I fell to the ground, where I was greeted with feet kicking my exposed ribcage, leaving indents in my bare skin.

  My breath was knocked out of me. I tried painfully to take in air, only to be greeted with more feet and insults. I could not hear the words they were yelling, trying to keep my ribs from breaking as I attempted to regain my bearings. I choked and spluttered, trying to grab the legs as they came at me, but I was not fast enough.

  The kicking stopped and I was able to catch my breath, though not for long.

  “Fine, that’s the way you want it…” the one I had bitten growled. He grabbed my hips and pulled the pants from me, turning me over and violating me. The sudden pain ripping through me caused me to lose focus once again. I screamed and clawed at the ground, trying to find the strength to fight back.

  “Is that what you were expecting?” another laughed, crouching in front of me and grabbing my hair, lifting my head. I tried to keep myself from vomiting, knowing that there was nothing in my stomach and the dry-heaving would only inhibit my labored breathing. “Well, we wouldn’t want to disappoint, would we, gentlemen?”

  He dropped my head to the ground and I went still, intent on letting them do whatever they wanted so that it would be over quickly.

  It felt like hours that all of them were passing me around on the floor of the cold lab, laughing and jibing, calling me a slut, a whore, and a cunt. The words were just as bad as the actions themselves. I felt worthless, helpless, as if I was no longer a person, but an object.

  I had to be moved by their hands onto the table and strapped down for the next round of testing. They roughly fastened me to the table as I cried and babbled incessantly, pained and tired.

  I was in such pain from the beating and rape that I barely noticed the pinch in my arm as another serum was pumped into my bloodstream.

  Then, the pain quadrupled.

  At first, it was radiating through each heartbeat. I did not feel any particular sensation with the serum in my arm. The injection felt like a normal shot.

  That was, until, the serum reached my lungs.

  It felt as though the liquid from the shot had permeated into my esophagus and moved down my windpipe, causing me to choke. It slipped into my lungs and quickly grew, spreading through all the areas of my chest, suffocating me.

  That was when I was sure that it was not the serum I was drowning in, but my own blood. I had images fly through my mind of the serum moving through my blood stream, popping veins along the way before it hit my windpipe and poured blood into the passageway, causing it to flood through my lungs, drowning me. By the time I realized I was suffocating, it was too late to tell the scientists what was happening. My lungs were wracked with spasms, my muscles were cramping, my head was going light as I tried to fight against the panic and the liquid I was drowning in.

  My arms and legs jerked and flailed, burning and ripping the skin around my ankles and wrists. I choked and gasped for air.

  “They always make the worst sounds on this test…” one of them groaned, disgusted.

  “Turn on the music,” another agreed. “I don’t want to hear this.”

  I couldn’t believe it. I was drowning and they were putting on music. I tried to grab at one of them, trying to call to his attention to the fact I was dying, but none of them were within my reach. My fingers splayed out angrily in the air as my head turned to the side, seeing the sharp lines of my hands as they contorted and twisted against the restraints, trying to find something to hold to keep me alive, to pull me out of the water.

  I was choking, my throat constricting…

  The upbeat music came over the speakers of the nearby audio player and I faintly heard them talking about how much they hated the music the female scientists played. However, they were unable to find anything but the one song.

  It was too happy, too fast, and made me feel as if I was drowning that much faster.

  There was a pressure in my throat that made me want to vomit, but the suffocating blood angrily latched out with claws, refusing to leave my esophagus, pushing harder and harder against my trachea. I felt my neck arch as I tried to dispel the angry blood.

  My lungs pushed the sloshing liquid around, trying to find room for oxygen.

  My eyes rolled around, unfocused.

  My fingers flexed like claws into the air, my body jolting and gyrating violently against drow
ning.

  The worst part was that I did not pass out. I listened to the song repeat twenty-nine times, blasting loudly over the speakers to drown out my gurgled pleas for help. As the song was playing through the thirtieth repeat, the scientists were around the empty table next to mine, playing cards and smoking, even though there was a no smoking sign near the lab door. My whole body suddenly relaxed and I took in a deep breath.

  My eyes shot wide, shocked and relieved at the sudden ability to breathe. The water evaporated from my lungs and I was able to catch my breath within seconds.

  “Finally,” one of them groaned, throwing the cigarette on the ground and stomping it out before stepping over to the speakers and quickly shutting off the annoying, up-beat song. “Jesus, that took longer than usual.”

  “Well, Dana did say the bitch had unusual reactions, which was why we couldn’t deviate from the administration schedule,” the leader sighed, gathering the cards and piling them together.

  “Fuck…we gotta clean her up. She’s been leaking blood and jizz over the table this whole time.”

  “That’s fucking gross, man. I’m not touching it.”

  “I didn’t tell you to clean it up with your hands. Just get some fucking towels,” the first one groaned. “Fucking moron…”

  I closed my eyes, not wanting to see them as they gathered around me, their hands cleaning my legs and hips as another two read my vitals.

  I was surprised how calm I was. There was a darkness in my thoughts, an anger and a depression rolled into one that I could feel sitting heavily in my gut, occupying my thoughts. The feeling disappeared, however, when they stood me up. I looked at my clothes on the ground and started to reach for them, offering to clothe myself, but the leader of the group pressed a hand to my chest, pushing me upright again.

  “No, your clothes are torn,” he said. “We’ll have some brought to you later.”

  I blinked in horror, realizing that, once again, I would be paraded through the Commission naked.

  With my head low and my eyes focused on the ground, I moved with the group of scientists through the halls of the Commission, ignoring the eyes on me from the nearby cells.

  When we entered the room connecting to the Dome, one of the scientists turned to the guard.

  “Frank, can you go get another set of clothes for this one?” he asked, jerking his thumb to me.

  “This is the second time you have her walking through here with no clothes. You know Mr. Christenson doesn’t like it when the experiments are paraded around naked,” the guard groaned, though he was smiling knowingly.

  “I know, but her clothes are all torn,” the man said with the same faked innocence.

  “Oh, I see…” Frank chuckled. The other five guards present also chuckled. “And how did that happen?”

  “She was struggling and fell into a bunch of scalpels,” the scientist laughed.

  “Well, some kind of blade,” Frank smiled, looking me over. “She’s not bad…”

  “No, not at all, quite enjoyable, really…”

  I turned away, ignoring the eyes traveling over my skin.

  “Fine, I’ll get some clothes for her,” Frank sighed. “But next time, you have to let me know when she’s struggling.”

  “Deal,” the leader laughed. They pushed me forward, all the guards in the room looking me over and laughing as I passed.

  They returned me to my cell—my empty cell—and tossed me in. I fell onto the ground, being pulled onto my back as my cuffs were released.

  “Shall we try again tomorrow?” the leader sneered. I closed my eyes and cringed. He laughed, walking to the door and closing it behind him, passing his card over the lock to seal it. I curled up on the floor, shivering and trying to keep the tears at bay. My eyes were burning, trying to cry, but there was nothing left in me. I was drained of my tears.

  I was drained of everything.

  I did not react when Frank, the guard, threw new clothes at me, snorting in contempt as he left. The clothes lay in front of me, bright red against the cement.

  I did not have the energy to put them on.

  Instead, I closed my eyes and let sleep claim me.

  For once, it was a dreamless sleep, dark and quiet, and surprisingly restful, away from the nightmares I had been enduring for what must have been an eternity.

  I realized that my sleep was dreamless because I woke up in another reality.

  I was awoken by the soft draping of fabric over my body, tickling me as my arms and shoulders were covered.

  That was when I felt a hand gently set my wrist on the ground, achieving the task of pulling my arm through the sleeve. I was terrified to open my eyes and discover the identity of the person in my cell.

  Taking a deep breath, I forced my eyes open and focused on the wall of glass in front of me. There was no sight of the person currently pulling the collar of the shirt around my shoulders. This person was behind me, no guards were outside the door…which meant one thing…

  Carefully, I turned around to see who was taking care of me.

  And my heart soared.

  I lunged upright and threw my arms around his neck. I didn’t care that he hated to be hugged, I was too thrilled to see him right when I needed someone the most.

  “Y-You’re here…you’re actually here…” I breathed into his shoulder.

  Gently, his arms wrapped around me. Just as before when he hugged me, the world was blocked from my mind. I was completely safe.

  I broke the hug to push away the tears that had fallen down my cheek. He reached behind me, pulling the rest of the shirt around my shoulders and allowing me to feed my arm into the sleeve. When he pulled it closed, I started doing up the buttons as his dark eyes turned to my face. I hastened to button the shirt, but was slower in progress as I stared at him in shock. He was there, he was sitting with me, a smile tugging at his lips…

  “I am so happy to see you,” I hissed, my voice breaking.

  He reached out, gently touching my face before withdrawing his hand.

  I finally got my shirt buttoned up, shaking my head in disbelief.

  “Are you here to help me?”

  He nodded slowly. I smiled and, before I could stop myself, my arms were around him again, hugging him as if my life depended on it.

  In my mind, my life did depend on him.

  It had always depended on him, ever since our first strike when we broke everyone out of the cells of the Commission. And here he was with me as he always had been, my last hope to fight against Dana and the Commission and what they wanted me to become.

  For a long time, the two of us did nothing but sit in silence, my hand in his, taking comfort in him, telling him only every now and then that I admired his ability to bear up to the torture of the Commission, now understanding what it entailed.

  It was an indeterminable amount of time before I finally turned to him to ask a question.

  “What should I do?”

  He held his finger up to his lips, telling me to be silent, and then pointed to the door of my cell. I turned. The five scientists of the horrible team torturing me had appeared.

  I turned to Mark.

  “Do something,” I hissed. “They’re going to hurt me…”

  He shook his head, motioning again to remain silent.

  The group of scientists opened my cell and I nervously watched the one I had attacked last time approach.

  “Here we are again,” he smiled. He lifted his arm, pulling back his sleeve to show me the bandage around his skin. “This is what you did to me. Don’t think I’ve forgiven you for it…”

  He slapped me across the face, and my bruised cheek cried in protest, my eyes immediately welling with tears.

  As I was trying to recover, he grabbed my wrists and slapped the restraints on. I turned to Mark, who was sitting silently next to me, watching what was happening indifferently.

  “Come on,” the man snarled, yanking me upright. Mark’s hand went to my shoulder, and helped pus
h me up, though he stayed in the cell, looking at me with his expressive, dark eyes. I wasn’t sure if he was pushing me to go through the torture again, or if he was trying to tell me to be strong.

  As I was pulled away, I figured he was telling me to be strong. After all, it was Mark and I could trust him. As we walked away, leaving Mark inside my cell, I knew it was best he did not follow. I did not want him to see what was going to happen to me.

  I was sure he already had a vague idea and was worried enough.

  But he did not want to get me in trouble. Clearly these were the scientists who had harmed him when he misbehaved. He did not want me talking to him on the table and getting shocked with the disciplinary device whenever I spoke.

  He would be waiting for me when I was brought back.

  When I walked back into the lab, my whole body began shaking. We were back in the horrific room where the terrors from yesterday still lingered.

  I needed to get out…

  This time, there was another figure waiting. I recognized him, as well.

  “Here she is,” Frank smiled, hopping off the table and rubbing his hands together excitedly.

  “Yes, of course, she was struggling the whole time we were walking here,” the leader smiled. “As you can see.”

  “Yes, I can,” Frank smiled. “Here you are.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out two packages of cigarettes. I watched numbly as I was bought for two packages of low-quality cigarettes.

  “Even though I’ve seen everything she’s got already, I got to admit, I really like her tits…” Frank smiled, unbuttoning my shirt as I shivered and tried to back away. As soon as I stepped back, two of the scientists were holding me firm, smiling sickly.

  The shirt was pushed from my body, falling back on my shoulders and tightly trapping my upper arms.

  “Perfect…” Frank smiled, removing the clothing entirely. The scientist I had bitten grinned and grabbed my restraints, forcing my hands painfully over my head, bending my elbows so my hands were stuck behind my head, forcing my chest forward, causing Frank’s pupils to dilate.