by Kip Nelson
“I can see that,” JR said, shuddering as he still hadn’t quite come to terms with being in such close proximity to mountain lions.
Darren showed JR the best kind of wood to look for, while Darren chopped it up himself. A lot of the wood still was soaked from the flood, but there were some dry pieces and others that were going to dry well. Really, though, it was busy work to keep Darren’s mind off Brent. He tried keeping himself from gazing off into the distance but found it impossible not to spend some of his time searching the horizon for any sign of his son, even though Brent just had left.
He hated to think it was the last time he ever was going to see Brent.
“So, you never had children. Is that because you’re not allowed, or because you didn’t want to?” Darren asked, hoping that talking with JR would make the time pass more quickly.
“Neither. It was because I didn’t have the opportunity. The order I’m a part of is allowed to have children and get married. We believe ministers should not be denied the chance to spread God’s word through an expression of love as well as through our sermons. I always had wanted children and a family, but I suppose it’s not the path God had set out for me.
“As I said, I lived in a small town and the eligible women there all were snatched up by men with better jobs. I think part of it is perception, you know, like yours, a lot of people think that ministers aren’t allowed to marry. And I certainly wasn’t going to put myself forward. It was also difficult to meet people outside my congregation.”
“I’d have thought you’d be in a prime position to meet a girl, what with you having a regular stream of people coming to you every Sunday.”
“Ah, but I couldn’t allow myself to entertain the thought of being romantic with one of the members in my congregation. It seemed wrong somehow, and since the opportunity never presented itself, I walked through life alone. Not that it’s been a bad life. My work has been rewarding, and I’ve been able to rest my head every night knowing that I’ve done a good job.
“But I look at what you have, and I am an envious man, Darren. You are very lucky. I know you’ve endured your share of sorrows, both before and after the world changed, but you have children who love you, who admire you, and that’s something of which you should be very proud.”
“I am. In fact, some days it’s the only thing that keeps me going. I don’t know what I’d do without my kids. They make me a better man. I’m doing all of this for them. Without it, I’m not sure I’d have the strength to go on.”
“Maybe not. Families do provide us with that extra impetus to keep going. We’re always better when we are fighting for something that’s greater than ourselves. For you, it’s family. For me, it’s the word of God.”
Darren rested on the axe for a moment, wiping the sweat from his brow. The cold air made the physical exertion even harder than it usually was. It stung his lungs as he inhaled deeply, and so regular breaks were required. A nice pile of wood was forming at his feet, though.
“So, JR, I get that you’re a minister and all, but have you ever had your doubts about God? I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t know how you could look around at the world and not have doubts.”
JR offered him a sly smile and stopped what he was doing for a moment. The minister found a log and sat down, testing it first to make sure it wasn’t going to cave in under the burden of his weight.
“In my opinion, faith isn’t worth much if it isn’t tested. How can you know the strength of something if it’s never been questioned or doubted? I’ve faced doubt many times over the course of my life. But each time I’ve turned to the Lord and I’ve prayed, and the answer has come to me. Even in the face of complete and utter desolation I’ve been able to find answers through Him. He’s never failed to help me find what I seek, and all I do is try helping others find what they seek.”
“So, it doesn’t bother you that God’s plan hasn’t given you everything you wanted?”
JR shrugged. “Who am I to argue with His infinite wisdom? Of course I would have liked a child, but in a way the members of my church were my children and I was able to be a father to them. I have traveled this new world and helped many people who have been in strife. I like to think I have a lot of work ahead of me.
“I feel as though I am a modern missionary. But instead of traveling to a far-flung corner of the world to spread the Gospel I am wandering through the country, reminding people of that which they have forgotten. I am merely an instrument of God, and I will continue to do my best to be His servant.”
“But what about the state of the world? Doesn’t it anger you that so many people have died in this crisis?”
“Indeed, it does, but who can know if this was God’s will?”
“Isn’t everything?”
“In some ways, from a certain perspective. I like to think that God took a step back and let His creation have a life of its own and, unfortunately, this has happened. I can’t pretend that I’m okay with it, and when I rise to Heaven, I’ll certainly be asking Him why this had to happen. But there’s no amount of praying that will reverse time. So, we simply must battle on and do what we can to make this world a better place.
“I mourn the people who have lost their lives, and I weep for those who still are living. I’m quite sure that nobody ever would have chosen to live in a world like this, and some days the future seems bleak, but I have confidence that the Lord will provide, as long as we stay true to ourselves and to Him. He will provide us with the opportunity to make this world better than the last.”
“I wish I shared your faith.”
“You don’t have to. I have enough for the both of us, but you are demonstrating my faith with your actions. You are giving yourself to this world, making yourself better, and raising a family that we all can be proud of. I’m not being over the top when I say that humanity would be in a much better state if they all shared your attitude. From what I’ve seen it’s clear that you have things more together than most people. I just hope that when I reach the city, I find people similar to you. I’d hate to think that everything has crumbled.”
“You know, you don’t have to go to the city if you don’t want to. It’s still going to be difficult to get there, what with the weather being the way it is. You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you like.”
“I appreciate that, Darren, especially because you weren’t sure of me when I arrived.”
Darren blanched at this and covered his face with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry about that. It’s just, you know, you have to be careful in this world. But the way you’ve been with me and the kids…I think it’s exactly what we’ve needed. We’ve been cooped up here for what seems like forever. And even though we love each other, there’s only so much you can take. Having someone else around just gives us that outlet,” Darren said.
“I appreciate your hospitality, and of course I’ll stay for a little while longer, but I know I’m needed elsewhere. There are people out there who need my help and I will not fail them.”
JR’s voice was determined and there was a steely look in his eyes. He glowed radiantly and seemed to be filled with the strength of the Almighty. Darren was awed by him and knew that nothing would stand in his way as he sought to spread the love of God and the word of Christ.
“Well, I hope you can help them the same way you’ve helped us,” Darren said.
JR gave him a firm nod, and the two men continued doing their work.
Chapter Five
By the time Darren and JR were done outside a couple of hours had passed and Darren was getting worried. It was about the time when Brent should be returning, but he was nowhere to be seen on the horizon. Darren just about had managed to quell the worry in his heart so far by telling himself that Brent was a smart kid. He was responsible, and wouldn’t have done anything to put himself in danger, Darren told himself. However, as soon as Darren felt that Brent had been gone for too long all that worry overwhelmed him as
though a dam had broken. He paced about frantically.
He bit his lip and wrung his hands together, continually looking at the horizon. He thought about going after Brent, but hated the idea of leaving the girls alone with the mountain lions and JR. As much as he respected JR as a man, Darren didn’t think JR would be as useful if anyone approached the cave. But he knew that the chances of him finding Brent were remote. Brent had the bike and the distance he could cover was way beyond that which Darren could cover on foot. So, Darren was left helpless, pacing around like a caged animal.
There was nothing in the world he hated more than being helpless.
His fear started turning to anger toward Brent.
“I told him not to be gone too long. I told him not to stray too far. I don’t know why that boy can’t just listen to me. It’s only a bike for goodness sake. He doesn’t need to go crazy over it,” Darren muttered to himself.
The mother mountain lion had gone off again hunting, and Darren couldn’t help but think of the chance that Brent was her prey. He shuddered at the thought of it, at the horrible thought that he might not ever know what had happened to Brent if his son didn’t return.
Darren’s worst fear as a parent was to lose a child and never know what had happened to him or her. He remembered seeing people on the news who had had their child abducted and his heart always broke for them. He had no idea how he would be able to go on with that thread left dangling, with no closure at all. And now he had to face that possibility himself. If Brent didn’t return, Darren could scour the landscape for him. But even if he spent the rest of his life searching, there was no guarantee he’d actually find Brent, or discover what had happened to him.
“He’ll be back soon. I’m sure that he just got excited and lost track of the time, or he’s seen something that intrigued him. I bet he’ll be back in a minute,” Betsy said.
“And it’s not easy to keep track of time. You know what young boys are like. They have a bit of a one-track mind and can get lost in whatever they’re doing. I bet Betsy’s right and he’s just been exploring the world,” JR said.
“You’re probably right,” Darren admitted, but that didn’t do much to soothe the ache inside him.
He kept his gaze focused outside and would stay there like a sentry until Brent returned. But he knew that if Brent didn’t come back before it was dark, then all hope was lost. He’d never be able to search for his son because there were others who needed his protection.
“If he doesn’t come back, there’s only one person to blame. Myself,” he said grimly. JR put a hand on Darren’s shoulder.
“There is nobody to blame here. You cannot put all the suffering of the world onto your shoulders. You gave Brent the opportunity to go out into the world by himself. Let us not mourn him before we are sure that he is dead. Betsy is right, he most likely got distracted and will return in his own good time. You have raised him to be a young man of good judgment and I’m sure he would not go against your wishes.”
Darren grunted and turned away from the cave entrance. He busied himself by taking an inventory of the food to see how much more they needed to forage and hunt. The time went by slowly and all the while he choked up at the thought of Brent not returning. Brent was his son, his best friend, and it would be hard to carry on without him. He’d already lost his wife, and there was only so much a man could take.
Then, he heard movement outside. He strode out of the cave with hope in his heart as he heard the sound of wheels turning against the ground, squishing against the mud and stone. He smiled broadly and ran to meet his son, practically wrestling Brent off the bike with a huge tight bear hug.
“Dad! Dad! It’s okay! I’m back!” Brent said, trying to extricate himself from Darren’s embrace.
“What’s the big deal? I wasn’t gone for that long,” Brent said, rubbing his head.
“You were gone for longer than I asked. I was worried.”
“Sorry,” Brent said, “I guess I just got caught up in being outside.”
“What was it like?” Betsy said.
The others came out to greet Brent as well. Betsy stood close to Brent. The two of them were becoming more obvious with their public displays of affection. It was good to see.
“Oh, it was amazing! I can’t tell you how good it felt just to be riding along the paths like I used to, not having to worry about a thing,” Brent said, a wistful tone in his voice.
“I hope you still were keeping an eye out for danger,” Darren said in a warning tone. Brent rolled his eyes.
“Of course I was, Dad, but I also was trying to take in the view.” He pointed up to the mountains and around the forest. “I rode all around there. I decided not to go back the way we came before. I wanted to see something new.”
“Did you see anyone else?” Michelle asked.
“No,” Brent said, subdued for a moment.
He brightened up again quickly. However, from the way his gaze darted to the ground Darren knew that he was haunted by something and made a point to ask him about it as soon as possible.
“It was actually really peaceful. I did see some tracks, but they were left by an animal. I didn’t stay around too long to look into all the caves, though. I rode up to the mountains, but I had to stop when the ground became too icy. The bike was sliding all over the place. I tried finding another source of water, but I didn’t turn up anything. I did manage to find these, though,” he said. He rummaged into a bag he had taken and threw them some winter vegetables.
“Where did you get these?” Darren asked in amazement as he looked at the parsnips and leeks and cabbages.
“I passed a field. I think it must have backed up onto a farm or something. I was tempted to knock on the door, but I didn’t see any signs of life, so I just left it. But I pilfered these from the field, figuring that the people in there wouldn’t have minded if they’d have gone missing.”
“We can make some soup out of this. Good job, Son,” Darren said.
JR took the vegetables from him and, with help from Michelle and Tara, took them to the storage area. The cubs perked up at the movement, but the vegetables wouldn’t be shared with the animals, they needed to be rationed for their next meal.
Brent beamed with pride after hearing his father’s praise. He took the bike back into the cave, placing it carefully and securely against a rock that was just the right height to hold it in place.
“I’m looking forward to going out there again,” Brent said hopefully. “There’s a whole lot of the world left to explore.”
“I’m sure you’ll get your chance,” Darren said.
The relief he felt upon seeing Brent was euphoric and he was aware how foolish he had been at getting so upset about Brent’s absence. Darren was breathing more easily now that Brent had returned and was remembering what it was like to be a parent. Those were the days when he had to leave Brent and Michelle to their own devices while he went to work. Being together all the time had created a bond of dependency and made him more scared of letting them out of his sight, but it was something he must get used to again. So, it would benefit them all if Brent went out regularly and found more treasures like these vegetables.
Darren never would have thought he’d actually be anticipating having a hot bowl of vegetable soup for dinner. But at that moment in time it was the most delectable thing he could think of, and warmth spread through his body at the mere thought of it.
Brent jerked his head back, gesturing to Darren that he needed to talk about something. They moved a few steps away. Betsy came with them. Brent didn’t seem perturbed to be sharing this with her, and Darren thought it was a good sign of trust.
“There’s something I didn’t want to say in front of the girls because I didn’t want to creep them out,” Brent began, “but I did find some signs of life out there.”
“Was there anyone at the farm?” Darren asked.
“No, no, it’s nothing like that. We’re not in danger or anything. I wasn’t lying when
I said I didn’t see anyone living. But as I was riding along, I came to a car by the side of the road. From the angle it looked as though it had come to an abrupt stop.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me if it ran out of gas,” Darren said.
“That was my thought as well. I went up to the car to see if there was anyone inside, or to see if there was anything useful. But as soon as I reached it, I almost jumped out of my skin. There were people in there, dead.”
“Do you know what happened to them?” Betsy asked. She reached a hand toward Brent. Darren’s heart went out to his son, feeling solemn that Brent had to witness such a sight.
“Looked like they were frozen. I tried to open a door to see if there was anything I could do to help, but all the doors were jammed.”
“Damn. They must have fallen asleep in there and the doors froze shut overnight. They sealed themselves in their tomb,” Darren said grimly.
“Oh my God,” Betsy said, raising a hand to her mouth.
“They looked peaceful. It must have happened in their sleep, but it was a horrible thing to see. I just…I thought I should tell you. There are other people out there, but they haven’t been as lucky as us,” Brent said.
Darren didn’t say anything, but he did give his son a hug.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said.
“It’s okay. I had to at some point, and it made me realize just how fortunate we are to still be living. It’s easy for us to think about our lives and worry about the past and everything we’ve left behind, but we just as easily could be dead like them. If we hadn’t found this cave…if we hadn’t followed you, we might not be here to have these conversations.
“I guess being out there today on my own made me realize how different my life could have been, how different all our lives could have been, and I wanted to say thank you for not letting us be in that much danger. You’ve given us a home, you’ve given us a life, you’ve done everything a father should,” he said.
The words meant more to Darren than anything else ever could. He felt as though he was going to burst with emotion. Darren had to choke back as he pulled Brent in even closer and hugged him so tightly that Brent actually had to wrestle himself away from Darren for fear that he would be crushed.