by Eden Fortae
“I was watching that.”
“You’ve seen every episode of Martin, Kya.”
“And? She’s seen enough Peppa Pig to start oinking.”
Antonio blinked, his seriousness making it hard for Donny to keep a straight face. “Shouldn’t you be sketching or something?” He put Amara down with a kiss on her cheek. He then took the batteries out of the remote and pocketed them.
Kya smirked, turning to Donny. “I’ll have her stuff waiting for you at the door.” She flipped Antonio off on her way out of the room, and when he returned it, the laughter broke through.
“Who knew the two of you would turn into my parents?”
“Better yours than mine. My father practically floats behind my mother with hearts in his eyes.”
“Can you blame him knowing how good it feels to be that in love?”
Antonio squinted, sitting on the sofa beside his daughter. “No. I’m not floating, though. Speaking of, how’s Eden?”
“Good.” He answered without thinking. Keeping her off of his mind was necessary when she was gone. Now, it helped keep him focused.
“What’s up with you and Eden?”
“We’re preparing to co-parent.”
“Is that so?”
Was that hard to believe? Antonio’s reaction made it seem that way.
“Why’d you say it like that?”
Antonio shrugged, “The last time you and I spoke of her, you wanted her back. Now that she is, you’re acting like that want never existed.”
“I’m focused on the baby that could come as soon as tomorrow. That’s actually why I’m here.” Donny lifted to get his phone from his back pocket. “I’m going to need your services.” After a series of scrolling and screen taps, he gave it to his cousin. Antonio took one look, smirked, and proceeded to scroll.
“You’re buying a house.”
“My apartment is too small for a kid.”
“Not if you convert the office.”
“The kid is going to need room to play, Tonito.”
“I suppose one of these extra bedrooms will be a playroom, then. What about the other rooms and the basement?”
“An office and guest rooms. In one of the pictures, you can see a bonus room in the basement. I want to make that another workspace with larger windows.”
“Why do you need two in-home offices unless,” he trailed off and grinned, “one’s for Eden?”
“It’s a room, Tonito. Not a tattoo.”
Antonio’s smile grew impossibly wider. “Is that a jab?” Dramatically, he placed his hand over his heart and near the tattoo with Kya’s name in it. “Why so hostile, cousin? I’m merely asking if I should have my fianceé help me with a family home or convert your basement into a soundproof apartment, so you won’t hear Eden when she brings dates home.”
Gearing up to say something nasty, Donny’s eyes fell to Amara. She’d given up on Peppa Pig and climbed down from the sofa to join her toys on the floor. He gritted his teeth at the idea of her being with another man, and his mind immediately went to the paternity test.
“Whether she’s in the basement, a room beside me, or an apartment across town, she’s mine.”
“Everywhere but your bed.” He tossed the phone back, smirking as he spread his arms along the back of the sofa.
“What’s your point, Tonito?”
“She doesn’t sound like she’s yours.”
“You want to fight? That’s what this is?”
Antonio burst into laughter, and like a parrot, Amara did too. “Uncle Donny is funny, isn’t he, Princess?”
She laughed again, getting up with the toy bottle meant for one of the other dolls. After Donny sat her on his lap, she shoved the bottle into his doll’s face. Amara forced her way to the floor and grabbed another doll for her father. She then went back to Donny and tried to get on the sofa herself. He helped her up, and she immediately sat beside him, resting her head on his arm.
“See, Mara gets it. She was fine with you holding my granddaughter without her. Now she wants to be with you, too. Why do you think Eden went to that hospital instead of back to Atlanta? Why do you think she kept the baby? Why did she come back?”
There was no definitive answer in the journal. She seemed as if she’d grown attached to the baby but not really. Truthfully, he hadn’t asked himself that. So caught up between feelings, he hadn’t questioned anything. Functioning without Eden meant learning to think less. Even with her reemergence, that hadn’t changed.
Donny relented with a sigh. “Why, Tonito?”
“The answer is simple. It’s also the reason you’re buying a family home and planning before you’ve closed. Your apartment is not small. At least, it wasn’t when Amara, Anthony, and CJ were there. You have enough space for a newborn. There are no stairs for a toddler to climb or fall. Your building has a gated playground, does it not? Ask yourself why you’re doing this, and you’ll know why your girl is fighting when it’s easier for her to fly.”
He knew. She’d never spoken the word but tried to make up for it with actions. By showing him, she felt it. His mind began to wander down the path of possibilities. His chest ached. Hope flared.
“You want me to get a copy of the plans and send you detailed notes of the upgrades, or will a text suffice?”
“Text. Leave the work to me. That leaves you time to buy his and hers cars for your massive garage.”
Donny shook his head. More than anything, he wanted to curse him out. If it weren’t for the little girl beside him, bopping to the music on TV, he would have. Antonio knew and smiled, holding his arms out to Amara. As expected, she crawled across the sofa. There, she buried her head beneath his chin.
“Snuggles isn’t always going to be around to save you.” When he said her nickname, she looked up at him. She broke into a smile and hid her face when he winked.
“But she’s here when it counts,” Antonio retorted. “Let that sink in.”
“How much longer do I have to deal with the Eden references?”
“Until you tell me why you’re not happy she’s back.”
“What makes you think I’m not?” The defensiveness shone through, even to him.
“Did you know that if you lay your head on your woman while she’s on the phone, she’ll keep talking like you’re not there? Chris taught me that. I couldn’t hear Eden, but I heard enough to know that she was upset but now accepts the distance between you.”
Beneath the surface, that stung. His reactions could have provoked a setback.
“When was this?”
“The day you went to discuss the baby.”
He smiled, far from happy or amused. It was all he could do to keep from shouting. “And still, she gave me the dragon.”
“The dragon?”
“She had the baby’s heartbeat recorded and put it inside a stuffed dragon for me. She also got me a stethoscope.”
Antonio laughed, “I thought that was some kinky shit I didn’t need to know about.”
“What else did you hear?”
“That was it. I don’t know what she said, but Kya reassured her multiple times that you’re one of the good ones and everything will be ok. So you need to tell me what the issue is because I can’t have you making a liar out of my baby.”
“I don’t know,” resting his elbows on his knees, rubbing his chin, he felt the onset of a headache. “She was gone. Her eyes were hollow aside from tears. I used to tell her I loved her, and I could see her absorbing those words. She’d take on this glow, making me love her more. That day when I said them, it was like talking to someone comatose. She heard me, but she didn’t. When I left that hospital, it hurt so much to think that I’d never get her back. Drinking numbed me. Not thinking or feeling numbed me. I couldn’t think about her without feeling all those things again. She made me happy. It took some work, but I made her happy, too. Then there was nothing I could do. Love wasn’t enough.”
Lifting, he pulled his wallet from his pocket. The 3D
image made him smile, although painfully.
“I wanted this. The baby. Her. Us. She didn’t. She never wanted to date or kids. I knocked down the walls protecting her from everything that almost destroyed her because I fell fast and hard. She’s back but is she really? I don’t want to knock down these new walls and risk losing her again.”
“How do you know you’d lose her?”
“How do I know that I won’t?”
“You don’t, Donny. It’s fifty-fifty. This could be the best chance you’ve ever taken or the worst you’ll ever miss out on. Don’t fuck up and let fear keep you from your family.”
“Your old man gave you this speech?”
“Ma did.”
Donny’s amusement showed through quick, low laughter. “Then she gets most of the credit for this kick in the ass, I suppose. What are you charging me?”
“Nothing. Rejoin this family. You know when dinner is. Everyone misses you.”
“You, too?” Donny grinned, fully expecting his cousin to fireback typically. Instead, he nodded, running his fingers through Amara’s hair.
“Me, too, puto.”
“I’ll be there.”
“You better. I can and will unleash Javier on you.”
“My dad isn’t a killer, but I’m sure that would change if I went missing.”
Antonio frowned. “You may be right. Fredo raised you. He can’t possibly be a saint.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Amara’s head popped up, and her eyes drifted from the TV. “Sorry, Snuggles.”
“I’m going to teach her that word and tell Kya you did it.”
“She’ll think she got it from Rina.” Donny waved off the idea initially. When he looked at Antonio, they both had slow-spreading smiles. Without knowing why, Amara smiled, too.
It’s just dinner. Not a date. Still, Eden’s palms were sweating and her legs unsteady. Beneath her thin jacket, her dress was two steps above casual. It was a choice she regretted the second he knocked on the door. Donny always looked good, smelled nice, and gave her butterflies. The prep talk she gave herself along the way to his truck, and the restaurant was meant to keep her hopes low. Pulling up to the place of their first date made it impossible.
The conversation was light as they were seated. Small talk filled the space between them until their meals arrived. With everything, Eden took note. He’d held doors for her, pulled out her chair, asked what foods she couldn’t eat, and about cravings before ordering for her. He seemed to care more about her today. The icy look in those soft brown eyes thawing, his smile returning.
He hadn’t mentioned the baby, though. Eden noticed that, too. He looked at her stomach often but said nothing. He’d recoil when their skin touched and act like she hadn’t seen it. Eden attributed that to the lost time and concern. Her journal was filled with her truest thoughts and feelings. Most likely, his perception of her changed. She couldn’t and wouldn’t fault him for that but was still dejected.
The walk from the restaurant to the truck was slow and silent. As the dark thoughts and that voice tried to push through, Eden kept them back with positive ones. The sky was clear. Her friends were near. Most of all, her baby would have a family. He moved as if he sensed her mood. She touched her stomach.
“What are you smiling at?”
“What?”
“You were smiling. Share?”
Nervously, Eden brushed her hair behind her ear. His eyes on her felt like spotlights. “I was just thinking about the baby, and he moved. I didn’t realize I was smiling.” She dropped her hand to her side.
“I didn’t mean for you to stop. I think I missed it so much I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.”
Was he flirting? It felt like he was. Again, she nervously played with her hair. “That makes two of us. The smiling, I mean.”
“I know what you meant. The past few months haven’t exactly given us much reason to smile.”
“That’s an understatement, especially for you. I’m truly sorry that I just left, Donovan. And with so many unanswered questions after that meeting.”
Donny was quiet as he motioned toward the bench facing the water. Before she sat, he dusted the seat with his hand. Their thighs touched when he joined her, and instead of moving, he draped his arm behind her back.
“I want you to stop apologizing. Not knowing where you were and if you’d be back was hard for me, so I know it was harder for you. We came a long way together. Too far for you to just decide to give up one day. Answer something for me?” He glanced at her, looking more like a sad little boy. “Why did you keep the baby?”
Of all the questions she expected, that wasn’t it. He read the journal. He knew why. Voicing those words shouldn’t have brought her to tears. As she shook her head, she fought those tears, touching her stomach. “I kept him because I’m a coward and couldn’t let go of the only physical proof I had that you once loved me. I didn’t think I’d make it, Donovan. I thought I’d be in that hospital for the rest of my life while you moved on to better.”
He turned on the bench, prepared to strike down that thought. Eden lightly touched his lips with her finger and nearly broke when he kissed it.
“I told Chloe I wanted you to have him. That I knew you’d love him enough for the both of us. Although I struggled and still am, in a way, he’s important to me. I’m so selfish I think of this baby as proof that a man with no motives, loved me. By carrying that proof despite being scared shitless, I loved you, too.”
His eyes bore into her again. Too emotional and afraid to see the look in them, Eden kept hers lowered. A shaky breath escaped through her lips as his hands caressed her cheek.
“Love, hermosa. I’m still in love with you. Time, the hospital, and the paternity test haven’t changed that.”
At that, Eden flinched. Unwanted memories flashed behind her lids. The smell of vodka. Glass slicing the bottom of her foot. The burning of her lungs. Her breathing grew labored, her head shaking back and forth. Donny was calling her name. The baby was moving. Her stomach threatened to expel everything in it. Her phone pinged. Rumors. Blogs. The ugly truth spilled everywhere.
Reliving the moment before everything fell apart, Eden absently pulled her phone from her bag. She opened the text, blurry-eyed, with the world paused around her. The text opened with Kya’s name nearly missed before Eden read the screenshot attached.
“Hi,
My name is Madison. I know u don’t know me but r u still friends with Eden Parks? I am trying 2 reach her but her page is gone! I need 2 talk to her about Kenny. I am in trouble. Pls tell her I need 2 talk 2 her!”
Edy, this message was sent months ago. Mara was supposed to be watching Youtube on my phone, and when I took it from her, I saw this. Her profile is private, but her bio says she’s fifteen. My gut is telling me to reply. Should I?
Without hesitation, Eden replied yes. Her hand holding the phone shook involuntarily, only stopping when Donny covered it with his. Slowly she turned to him, forcing her fear and panic down. Moments ago, he loved her. The voice in the back of her mind said he wouldn’t anymore, and still, she lifted her chin.
“I have to tell you something.”
THIRTY-NINE
Donny was silent. For the duration of her confession, he sat completely still and barely blinked. The only sign of life was the rise and fall of his chest as he tried to control himself. Several times Eden had to stop talking to do the same. Even then, he seemed far away. His gaze fell from her, drifting toward the dark water. The hand he’d placed over hers was pulled away and into a fist. He blinked slowly and audibly exhaled. It was a lot to take in. Knowing Donny, his mind had to be all over the place. Dots were connecting as gaps filled. He needed time, so she gave him that as long as possible.
Kya replied with another screenshot. Surprisingly the sound captured Donny’s attention.
“Is that him?” The edge in his tone was unmistakable.
“No,” she replied slowly, reading through the conversat
ion with growing anxiety. “A fifteen-year-old girl messaged Kya because she couldn’t reach me. She knows Kenny and seems scared. She said she’s in trouble but doesn’t want to give specifics to anyone but me. She wants to talk.”
“No,” he retorted firmly, reading the screenshots just as quickly and gave the phone back. “For all we know, that could be him or some other sick motherfucker trying to get to you.”
“What if it’s not? What if it’s a real girl who has no one she can turn to?”
Donny’s eyes softened, but his frown remained. Be it the hormones of the familiarity of the situation, a lump formed in Eden’s throat. He still hadn’t addressed her admission, and it felt like the distance was back. A glimmer of hope came with that strong objection, but it died quickly. She feared what he’d say and, at the same time, needed him to say something.
“To have someone listen and relate to me would have been life-changing. I can do that for her. Triggers be damned, I want to.”
He shook his head, looking to the water again with his jaw clenched. “I’m going to confirm she’s a real person with ties to your father’s church. After that, we can make arrangements to meet her in a public place.”
What was the feeling between frustration and understanding? Whatever it was prompted Eden to drop her head. We. He expected to be there, and the finality in his tone left no room for much of an argument. Yet, she tried.
“Donovan, you have kind eyes and a beautiful smile. That’s what hooked me at the wedding. When you’re angry, though, those eyes and your overall presence is reminiscent of a dragon. You look like you’re ready to end the world, and I don’t see that changing as a young girl divulges her abuse. I want to comfort her and tell her everything is going to be alright.”
“Fine. If she checks out, she can meet you at my office. The conference room is secure with a privacy option.”