Hypnos

by RJ Blain

  “Please don’t try to make me guess or understand why your mother does anything, Olivia. I had the same question. When I asked, it didn’t go over well.”

  Of course not. My mother hated when my father second-guessed her judgment, and it didn’t matter if he was right or wrong.

  “Anyway, please be careful, Olivia. This guy is dangerous.”

  I didn’t have the heart to remind my father that I was dangerous, too. “I’ll be careful.”

  “Do you want your mom to come pick you up?”

  Someone would be dragging me to my father’s house within an hour of Donners arriving in California. Some things never changed. All in all, I saw no choice but to surrender without my usual fight. I’d need every scrap of energy to handle a damned warlock. “Yes, but Mom’s making Chinese for dinner, and not the fake stuff Americans think is Chinese. And because I’m an asshole, I demand MSG. None of your complaining about it, either.”

  “I’ll let her know we’re forcing Alex to eat weird food again.”

  “I’d be happy with her egg rolls, wonton soup, and lo mien.”

  “You’re taking it easy on her for a change, except for the MSG.”

  My mother’s unhappy screech made me unreasonably happy. “MSG is Japanese, damn it!”

  “Since she’s complaining, I also want duck.”

  My father laughed. “I’ll see if I can get you a duck, baby girl. Go explore your new house. Your mother will be there within an hour.”

  I’d been played by my parents. No sane realtor would decorate a property with an eclectic blend of Chinese and western decor. A matched pair of celestial dragon wall hangings guarded the entry, depicting water pouring from their mouths. The entry opened to a sitting room, which my mother had transformed into a library.

  A chair just like my father’s demanded my immediate attention. Did I even need to explore the rest of the house? The chair was a dead ringer for my father’s, right down to the color and model. I kicked off my shoes, plopped onto my new reclining throne, and indulged in a nap.

  “Seriously, Olivia?” my mother scolded, waking me.

  I loved my mother, but she was wrong to think, even for a minute, that I would do anything other than nap on my new chair. “You can’t put a chair just like Daddy’s in this house and expect me not to use it.”

  “He got a new one. It’s not just like it. It is it. I brought it over this morning.”

  I had the best daddy, and my mother wasn’t a slacker in the good parent department, either. “I have the best parents, but don’t tell them that.”

  “I’m having an upgrade to the security system implemented tomorrow. It’s going to monitor magical signatures and alert authorities if a flagged signature tries to access the property.”

  “That’s too expensive.”

  “Your safety is never too expensive.”

  “That level of monitoring has to cost at least a thousand a month. It’s too expensive.”

  “Three hundred. Not too expensive.”

  “What are you doing to get that level of surveillance for that cheap? After you finished sleeping with the entire bank, did you take on a security company?”

  “I didn’t sleep with the bank, and I promise you, I didn’t sleep with an entire security company, either. Don’t be prickly. Do you like it?”

  “I certainly like my daddy’s chair.”

  “I figured I’d include an extra incentive to encourage you to accept the offer. I wasn’t expecting you to bite before you saw the inside, however. Your father is shopping for dinner, and he has found me a duck.”

  Uh oh. “Will the duck still be quacking at your house?”

  “Unfortunately not. I’ve been told it will come plucked but otherwise intact.”

  Double uh oh. “By intact, do you mean the head is intact, too?”

  “Of course.”

  A small part of me wanted to warn Donners. The rest couldn’t wait to see his expression. “How’d you talk Dad into it? The last time you got a duck with the head, after you cooked it, you looked him in the eyes when you took a meat cleaver to its neck while demanding a swimming pool.”

  “I still haven’t gotten my swimming pool,” my mother complained. “We’re getting a fish pond instead, and I’m not allowed to eat any of the occupants.”

  “You have even more issues than I do, Mom.”

  “No, it’s you Americans with the issues. I’m an equal opportunity eater. It’s not my fault you’re just like your father. If it’s edible, why shouldn’t I eat it?”

  “Sure, Mom. How did you talk Dad into a full duck?”

  “You asked for a duck. He knows you’ve had a rough few days. How are you feeling?”

  “Like I’m about to move soon, and moving is not fun. I’m also feeling like I have to deal with a warlock. That’s also not fun. The next few months of my life might count as cruel and unusual punishment. That should be illegal. Mostly, I feel like I’m about to move soon.”

  “There’s a reason for that. I tried to leave space for what you already own. Should I try to coerce that cute cop into a lease? He looks like he could be convinced.”

  “There’s definitely enough room for him. He could live here without bumping into me there’s so much room. There’s enough room for him and an entire quad.”

  “I’ve been told the cute cop and one of your quads will be at dinner tonight. The suspect has everyone freaking.”

  My phone rang, and I checked the display. Luke. “Speak of the devil.” I swiped my finger across the screen and answered, “What do you need, Luke?”

  “It’s hard to guard you when you sneak out of your office.”

  “We’re having duck at my parents’ tonight. Mom’s cooking. Fetch my pet cop on the way. Also, I’m moving, and we’re having a sleepover party at my new house tonight while we strategize.”

  “It’s not possible to close on a house in less than twenty-four hours, Olivia.”

  “It is when your mother owns the house. We’re having a sleepover party, Luke. Get your party hat and bring a spare change of clothes. Tomorrow, we have a research trip, and I don’t want to have to hunt you and your quad down in the morning.”

  “I’m concerned.”

  “For good reason. Me on a research trip is punishment for anyone forced to deal with me. Raid the supply closet for journals and pens, grab a spare laptop or two, and make sure you steal a few tablets from Dan. Make sure you tell him I’m going to be fiddling with everything.”

  “Dan is going to kill us all, and he’s going to start with you,” Luke predicted.

  “I didn’t break my computer reviewing traffic camera footage. He’s happy with me right now.”

  “Why are we going on a research trip?”

  “I need to research various elements of mythology, and it’s easier at the library.”

  Luke groaned. “Can’t we just use the internet?”

  “No. I also need to research ancient Chinese history. Librarians are so much better than the internet, Luke.”

  “All right. When should we head to your parents’ place?”

  “Give it an hour or two. Dad’s shopping for Mom, and Mom’s showing me my new house.” I patted the arm of my daddy’s chair, now my chair. “I like my new chair.”

  “I don’t want to know.”

  “You’re a cruel man.”

  “And you got suckered by your own mother. And?”

  Zing. “I authorize your raises and hazard pay, buddy.”

  “I need both for this case.”

  I laughed. “When we’re briefed tonight on our suspect, I’ll be agreeing with you.”

  “Shit. We have a suspect?”

  “We do, and it’s not good. Go keep my pet cop company, Luke, and be on guard just in case.”

  “Got it. We’ll be at the station within fifteen minutes.”

  “Activate your trackers, and I’ll get in touch with the boss so he gives you access to mine. No risks.”

  “Now I’m wo
rried.”

  “Welcome to the club.”

  I didn’t want to leave my new house, but my mother grabbed and twisted my ear to win my cooperation. “There’s a hot tub on the back porch and a jet tub upstairs, Mom!”

  “Yes, I’m aware. It’s like I pay attention to your special needs. I even got a permit for catching rainwater on grounds of your magic and I had a decorative pond with a fountain installed. You’re supposed to like it.”

  “You’re such a cheater.”

  “Get into the car and stop whining. You have papers to sign after dinner.” My mother waited until I looked ready to behave before releasing my ear. “I’m going to fetch the lock box, so no trouble out of you.”

  I expected trouble. I found trouble most days without having to look for it. As such, I followed my mother.

  “I am perfectly capable of handling this without help or an audience.”

  “You can, but I’m suffering from minor paranoia today.”

  “Minor? And you’re about five minutes away from a temper tantrum and anxiety attack because Alex will ask you about New York.”

  I could always trust my mother to get to the heart of matters without a lot of dancing around the subject. Dad would dance, and he’d join me in generalized anxiety and fretting, which inevitably annoyed my mother. “Yes.”

  My mother faced me and patted my cheek. “You’ll feel better about it once you tell someone what happened. It need not be us or Alex. How about that cute cop? He seems like a good listener.”

  “He’s a pure, Mom.”

  “So were you before the bombing. You’re still the same species. If not your pet cop, and yes, I heard all about that, how about Luke?”

  I sighed. “Luke worries enough as it is.”

  “It’s okay to be vulnerable at times, Olivia. You can’t always be a sword or a dragon. Sometimes, you need to be the tree capable of bending in a storm. Bend a little. I bent a lot when I first came to America. I bent even more when I had you and realized who I’d been as a little girl would never work for you. I do wish you’d turned out just a little more Chinese at times and a little less American, but you are who you are.”

  “I certainly look Chinese. And admit it, I work more than most Chinese.”

  “Yes, you do work too much. But you’re American with a spark of Chinese. Your Cantonese is wretched. So is your cooking. It’s no surprise I’ve been unable to marry you off.”

  “Not for a lack of effort,” I muttered.

  “Being alone isn’t good for a woman like you, Olivia. When left unsupervised, you get into trouble. A good man can make sure you eat your breakfast and come home every night instead of pretending like you don’t need sleep just because you have magic that lets you get away with it. You don’t even need to live up to our expectations. You surpassed them long ago. You don’t have to be alone to keep being a strong, independent woman. You’d just be a healthier and happier strong, independent woman. Look at me. I’m strong and independent. Your father makes me stronger but he wishes I were a little less independent some days.”

  “Like the day you found my house and slept with the entire bank to get it at a steal just so you could give it to me?”

  “Damn it, you evil little witch! I did not sleep with anyone from the bank. Does your father look like I slept with anyone at the bank?”

  “Considering the bank still exists, I suppose not. What did you do to get that deal?”

  “The banker owed me a favor.”

  That poor banker. “That’s fair.”

  “Anyway, you love the house, and that’s all that matters. Thank you for surrendering without a fight. I was about to implement some desperate measures.”

  “Should I be worried?”

  “Only if your father cuts the head off your duck.”

  I would never understand my parents.

  My father presented the head of a rubber duck to my mother, and World War IV began with an infuriated shriek. “You fiend!”

  I checked the kitchen, and sure enough, the rest of the rubber duck waited on my mother’s favorite cutting board. A brief investigation later, and I located dinner in the back yard. My dinner quacked and waddled over for some attention, ensuring my dinner wouldn’t be eaten.

  Damn it.

  I bowed my head, sighed, and picked up the duck. Without fail, water fowl loved me, and my new pet, a brightly colored wood duck, was no different. “Your name is Dinner, and you’re a damned lucky duck.”

  Dinner quacked at me and rubbed its head against me.

  Dad would pay. Somehow. Breaking his no pets in the house rule, I defiantly sat on his new chair with my new duck. “I named it so we can’t eat it,” I announced.

  That stopped my parents’ bickering. My father smirked, all the evidence I needed to confirm he’d planned on my adoption of the pretty duck.

  “That type of duck is shit for eating anyway,” my mother lied. The woman would eat—and love eating—any duck to cross her path, but I’d eaten wood duck before, and they classified as a delicacy among ducks.

  “The real duck is in the fridge,” Dad said. “That one was just too sweet and spoiled to butcher.”

  My parents needed to stop playing me before they took over my life. “What am I going to do with a duck?”

  “You named it, so you have to take it home with you. As I foisted that duck on you, I’ll build a pen at your place tomorrow.”

  I was many things, but when I decided to do something, I went all in. I pet my duck. “His name is Dinner, the Duck of Doom.”

  “That duck is going to develop a complex,” my father predicted.

  “He needs the best house, and he gets his own pond, which you must pay to have installed.”

  “She. The males are brighter and have more color in their plumage. She’ll give you eggs, too.” Dad stepped close and pet my duck. “Her name is actually Esmerelda.”

  Esmerelda was so much better of a name than Dinner, the Duck of Doom. “She’ll need a friend.”

  “Oh, good. I’m so glad you thought of that. Dumbass is hiding in the yard somewhere.”

  “You got her two ducks?” my mother asked, her eyes narrowing. “What about dinner?”

  “I got two ducks for loving, two ducks for eating. We have a full house for dinner tonight, so I got two ducks to be safe. There’s also two dozen fresh duck eggs for your cooking adventures.”

  My mother’s expression relaxed. “I’ll forgive you for removing the heads, then.”

  “However much fun it is to watch Alex cringe, we have too many guests this time. Olivia, go put your duck of doom back in the yard. You get to set the table and entertain our guests while your mom and I cook.”

  I hopped to my feet, still cradling my duck. “Hasn’t anyone told you giving someone a pet is a terrible idea?”

  “It’s a great idea. It’ll make sure you go home every day to feed them.”

  My father knew me well, and I recognized when I was being manipulated into doing what he wanted. “Your point, old man. Know revenge is coming, and I will enjoy it.”

  “Blame your boss. He was complaining that you don’t go home enough. He asked me to intervene.”

  I would. “Why is the other duck named Dumbass?”

  “She’s got a crippled foot and is blind in one eye. She’s a menace, but she’s a good egg layer. She’s just in need of a small flock that won’t bully her, and she gets along well with Esmerelda. When I told the farmer I was giving Esmerelda to a water elementalist, he sold me Dumbass for five dollars.”

  “A duck’s lifetime of care and feed cost you five dollars?” I sighed. “Dad, that’s a terrible way to handle buying someone a pet.”

  “What? Dumbass is cute. You love charity cases. I got you a charity duck.”

  “Is keeping these ducks even legal here?”

  My parents rolled their eyes. Shaking her head, my mother went into the kitchen. Her frustrated scream made me and my father laugh.

  “I’m sorry, Cathy!
I couldn’t help it.”

  “Every woman in your life is now out for revenge. Are you going to survive this, Dad?”

  He pointed at his new chair. “You’re sitting on her revenge. Can I visit my chair sometimes?”

  I gave up. “Sure, Dad. You can come visit the chair.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Luke and his quad arrived first, and they dragged Raymond and Eddy in with them. I waved from my daddy’s new chair. “My parents are starting dinner. Make yourselves comfortable. Don’t let the ducks in the back yard into the house.”

  Luke’s eyes widened. “Your mom is butchering the ducks tonight?”

  “No. They’re my ducks. They’re just staying here tonight until Dad can build them a duck palace in my yard. So, Raymond. Are you moving in?”

  He chuckled and relaxed on the couch. “What would the rent actually be?”

  “Free!” my mother screeched from the kitchen.

  “It’s rent to own, under my name, and if you paid rent, it would be applied to my mortgage. As I’d feel guilty taking your money and spending it to pay for my house, you’ll really get free rent. Don’t listen to the Chinese banshee in the kitchen.”

  “Helping you pay your mortgage in exchange for a place to live is a reasonable exchange.”

  I eyed him. “You really want to pay rent, don’t you?”

  “Half of what you’re paying a month seems fair to me.”

  “No, it isn’t,” my mother shouted from the kitchen.

  “The mortgage is for approximately eight hundred thousand.”

  “Will you stop?” My mother stomped in and waved her chef knife at me. “You’ll scare him off.”

  “No, you waving your knife around like a lunatic is going to scare him off. Anyway. Raymond, if I have to work late, you’ll have to watch and feed my ducks. You can have two dogs, but one might be mine in application, you’ll just technically own it.”

  “I can work with that.”

  I grinned. “You’ll have your own fancy chair, so you have to leave mine alone.”

  “That also seems fair.”