Hypnos

by RJ Blain

  “That’s correct.”

  “Don’t worry about it, then. We don’t recruit two-timers for memento mori, and while that ability could be useful in your field, it’s not something I’m going to worry about. You’re not a photographer, and it’s not like you forced her to cross. She went on her own. Now, if you start to develop the ability to force haunters to cross, we might need to have a talk.”

  “I’ve never forced a haunter,” I replied, hating how I skirted the truth.

  “Few can, so as I said, don’t worry about it. It’d be phenomenally stupid to pull you off your cases and try to teach you the ins and outs of memento mori photography anyway. If you want a camera, I can get one for you, and we’ll call it a backup for your quads.”

  Considering how much memento mori cameras cost, I wasn’t going to say no to his offer. “I’m never against having backup cameras.”

  “You’d follow your quads in an armored truck loaded with extra supplies if you could,” Donners muttered.

  “While true, did you have to say it?” I complained. “Luke and his minions might start thinking I actually care.”

  The four men stuck with me as their supervisor laughed. Eddy smirked and flipped me her middle finger.

  “Please ignore the quad. Ignore Eddy, too.”

  “Don’t ignore me. I’m a single, badass dragoness.”

  I stared at her. “Donners is married.”

  “Detective Hunk isn’t, though. If you don’t want him, can I have him?”

  “He already has one crazy ex. He doesn’t need another,” I replied. “Also, I’m the only one allowed to call him Detective Hunk.”

  “That’s not fair. Why do you get exclusive use?”

  “I made it up, that’s why.”

  The detective laughed. “Just for that small amount of mercy, I’m the only one allowed to call you Bubbles.”

  Everyone stared at him.

  “What?”

  “Bubbles?” my father asked. “I’d heard you call her that before, but I thought I’d misheard.”

  “It’s not my fault she views bubbles as appropriate attire, sir.”

  Yep. Detective Hunk either had no fear or lacked self-preservation skills.

  “Olivia?”

  “I can do whatever I want in the comfort of my own home,” I reminded him.

  “What did you do?” he demanded.

  “I waited patiently in my bubble bath to be offered dinner, a proper queen of my domain.”

  He sighed. “You would. You know what? I’m going to go help your mother in the kitchen. I’d rather just get the brief version of this mess tomorrow. Shout if you need me.”

  Taking that as a signal to get to serious work, I grabbed my digital pen, opened a new file, and asked, “So, what do we really have on this guy?”

  At three in the morning, I called our exercise in futility to a halt. We’d learned exactly nothing. The video claimed he’d done it. Being a warlock gave him the ability to do it. Our luck, such as it was, ended there.

  There was no proof he’d even been in the area except for my short video clip.

  “I want a new job,” I announced. “A nice, easy, and safe desk job. A boring one.”

  Everyone laughed at me, but my parents laughed the hardest.

  I should’ve gotten mad but they’d fed me steak and duck. I’d even been a generous soul and shared with everyone. “Seriously. This job sucks.”

  “It does,” Donners agreed. “He lives to thwart us.”

  “What’s our next step?” Luke asked.

  “We wait,” I admitted. “My plan to go to the library and research tomorrow is still on. There’s nothing else we can do for now. Detective Hunk needs to go make some phone calls, but I’m not expecting much to come from his work.”

  Ethan snorted. “The last time you said that, you found the statuette.”

  “Don’t remind me. Tomorrow, we have a research trip. I have no idea where the bedrooms are in this place, but the one with the fancy tub is mine. Touch my chair at your own risk.”

  “My chair,” my father grumbled.

  “Not anymore it’s not. Return to your own home. Begone, parents, and take Donners with you.”

  Tomorrow would be a long day.

  Chapter Twelve

  I loved my new house, I loved my new waterbed, and I loved the aquarium taking up a fiendish amount of space in the room. I didn’t love the quartet of bastards who forced me out of paradise. Luke dumped me out of bed and dragged me from my bedroom by my ankle.

  “It’s time to get up,” he announced. “Ray! Help me carry this incoherent woman downstairs before Eddy comes up here and rampages.”

  Eddy huffed. “I’m not going to rampage, but we have a schedule, and we need to stick to it. When the boss says we need to be at the dealership at ten, he means it.”

  “But my waterbed,” I whined, reaching for it. “It’s so warm.”

  “What was your mother thinking? We’re going to have to send a quad over to get you out of bed every morning.” Luke hauled me to the staircase. “We’ve been trying to get you up for an hour.”

  I sighed in longing, arms still stretched in the direction of my new bedroom. “I didn’t know it was a waterbed until it ate me.”

  “How’d you miss the presence of so much water?”

  “Duck-induced coma.”

  Luke sighed, released my ankle, and crouched beside me. “I’m impressed you shared any of it with us,” he admitted. “Can you walk down the stairs, or will Ray have to carry you?”

  Detective Hunk came up the stairs, and he gave me a nudge in the ribs with the toe of his polished shoe. “It’s too early in the morning for that nonsense. Stop giving her a hard time over her difficulties getting up. Bubbles, Eddy got concerned and called your boss. They’re freaking out because you were recharging your battery. Breakfast and coffee is in the kitchen waiting for you. I’ll feed the fish. Someone is coming by later today to clean their tank.”

  “Coffee!” I oozed down the staircase, and since I’d already left my self-respect and dignity in bed, I crawled to victory before slithering onto a stool at the island.

  The coffee maker taunted me, but in good news, coffee’s water content made it ideal for me to manipulate. All I had to do was open my mouth, give a little pull, and receive coffee.

  “That is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen,” Detective Hunk announced. “There’s a mug right there. You don’t have to siphon it right out of the pot.”

  I drank my coffee and ignored his judgment until I’d emptied the pot into my belly. “You make great coffee. Please, sir. Can I have some more?”

  “Will you drink it out of a mug this time?”

  “I’ll sip it while eating breakfast. I will use the mug.”

  “Unbelievable.” Laughing and shaking his head, he brought me a plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes. “Are you going to inhale an entire pot of coffee every morning?”

  “It’s entirely possible.”

  “Is that going to be enough food?”

  I pointed at the counter near the dishwasher. “See that empty plate over there?”

  “I do.”

  “That’s what I usually eat on the way to work. I warned you. I’m a hopeless excuse of a human being.”

  “How are you still alive?”

  I turned on my stool to discover Eddy, Luke, and his quad watching me. I pointed at Eddy.

  She sighed. “I make sure she eats a few times a week. Food is optional, and she has trouble with even using the microwave. If it’s not important to her, she just doesn’t pay attention.”

  “I enjoy eating food I don’t make. I dislike spending the time required to make food. I also get distracted, so inevitably, the food burns.”

  Raymond joined Eddy in sighing. “Well, that explains a lot. I have rules, Bubbles. I expect them to be followed. Following the rules gets you food and coffee.”

  Damn. It hadn’t taken him long to establish dominance and use my w
eaknesses against me. “I feel like you now own my house, but you’re holding hostages, so I feel like I must cooperate.”

  “You will load the dishwasher every morning and evening. When filled, you will add the appropriate cleaner and start it. You will not break dishes in the dishwasher. If it can’t go into the dishwasher, you’ll wash it by hand in the evenings. If you aren’t sure if it can go into the dishwasher, ask or wash it by hand.”

  “How dare you make reasonable demands.”

  “It’s a terrible demand, isn’t it? Cruel, even.”

  Luke snickered and sat beside me. “I don’t know what you did to Ray, but I like it.”

  “My legs have magical powers. They might need a rating.”

  “No comment,” he replied.

  “Wuss.” I cleaned off my plate in record time and opened the dishwasher to discover an obscene number of dirty dishes. I found a spot for my plate and utensils before going on a hunt for tabs. To prove I was somewhat capable of acting like a responsible adult, I started the machine.

  Raymond rewarded me with a travel mug filled with coffee. “Get dressed. We need to leave to get to the dealership on time.”

  Bossy but pretty man. I huffed but obeyed, hoping all the while he’d remain assertive.

  I liked when a man could hold his own in his chosen domain.

  Luke shoved me into Raymond’s cruiser, locked me in the back seat, and waved. “If you need the address for the local mental institution, let me know.”

  Asshole. I scowled. “The next shit shift to cross my desk belongs to you.”

  “When doesn’t it belong to me?”

  “The rare times you curb your sarcasm.”

  “Damn, boss. You’re in fine form this morning. I better warn the others you’re feisty.”

  “Luke,” I warned. “Now you’re up to two shit shifts and one call with Eddy.”

  “Ouch. Why the call with Eddy? That’s just mean.”

  Eddy snorted, shook her head, and wandered off towards Luke’s SUV.

  “You put me in the back seat of Raymond’s cruiser. That’s why. And not a single cuff joke out of you.”

  Detective Raymond ‘the Hunk’ Davis slid behind the wheel. “I’ll let you out at the dealership. That said, I like it. You can’t escape from back there.”

  I eyed the metal grate dividing the front from the back of its cruiser, calculating the probability the department had invested the ten thousand for dampeners in the metal. “You’re lucky you make good coffee and a better breakfast.”

  “Please don’t trash my cruiser. I don’t get to go to a nice dealership and pick a new vehicle, unlike you.”

  I laughed. “Don’t worry about it. If you do get the police pup, you get a new cruiser to go with him. Or her. I think they mentioned the dog was a she? Are police pups typically boy pups or girl pups?”

  “That depends on the cop and the department. The males are larger. Our department neuters, but some don’t. If I get a drug or bomb sniffer, she’ll be a girl like the one Chief Kirkland was talking about.”

  “As long as the pup doesn’t eat my ducks, I’m happy. I like dogs.”

  “I foresee an interesting juggle of our pets, and I have no problems walking the dog in the front yard—or dogs. We can also train them to leave your ducks alone.”

  “I can’t say I’d blame your dog—or dogs—for wanting to eat my ducks. My ducks are very lucky ducks. There are only two ducks on my list of ducks I won’t eat.”

  “I had noticed your enthusiastic enjoyment of dinner.” Raymond started the cruiser. “What Luke didn’t tell you is that all five of them indulged in a panic attack this morning because you were sleeping like a rock.”

  Shit. “I can say I didn’t dream about anything.”

  “They begged me to try to figure out if you were still alive. I tickled you, and you smacked me.”

  “I regret not being awake for that. I’m also sorry I hit you.”

  “Since that wasn’t bad enough, you took my shirt hostage again.”

  My unconscious self had the right idea. “How terrible of me. I noticed I didn’t wake up with you or your shirt in my clutches.”

  “I escaped.”

  With two little words, he issued the kind of challenge I couldn’t ignore. “How?”

  “I whispered I’d make you breakfast in your ear.”

  Damn. My unconscious self was Raymond’s bitch. “And I let you go?” I really had issues. I also enjoyed breakfast.

  He pulled the vehicle out of the driveway and waited until Eddy and Luke followed in their SUVs. With a single click of a remote, he closed the gate. “You did. Luke accused me of attempted seduction.”

  Luke would face a fate worse than death, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he assumed Raymond attempted to seduce me or because he’d hovered and prevented any seductions from occurring. “I don’t think that’s how seduction works,” I finally said to cover my long pause.

  “Had I been attempting a seduction, it would’ve been a failure, yes. If you’d like a seduction, you’ll have to be direct and provide a date, a time, and any specifications.”

  “Like a guide on how I’d like to be seduced?”

  “Yes.”

  I liked the general direction of the conversation, which opened a lot of doors, especially the one leading to my bed. “Should I schedule a seduction and miss it due to work, will you cuff me?”

  “If you specify that in your request for a seduction, yes.”

  “I never knew I could like lists of requirements until this moment. The same applies for you. If you’d like to be seduced, you’ll have to tell me. This is really part of why I’ve never successfully dated anyone. If I’m working, just assume you’ll have to cuff me and drag me off. I’m a workaholic.”

  “I’ll ask if your work is more important than an immediate seduction, so don’t worry about that.”

  “At what stage in our relationship is requesting a seduction acceptable?”

  “Whenever you want, Bubbles. It’s a free country. Despite appearances, I’m not a prude, and I’m not one to tell a woman when she can make a move.”

  Some problems were easier to solve than others. “I have a huge tub in my bedroom. Tonight, bring your cuffs, and I have no idea what else to request because, apparently, I dated boring men who inspired zero creativity in my love life.”

  “Consider your seduction scheduled.”

  “Luke seems to have correctly accused you of seduction, but we won’t tell him that. I’m also sending them home for the night.”

  “I’m sure I can make a gag and secure them in the other end of the house if required.”

  “Does it make me a terrible boss that I want to see you, a pure, take out an entire quad on your own?”

  “No. It makes you an inquisitive boss with an interest in learning how better to protect your staff. If you’d like me to take hostages in a demonstration, ask. I’m confident I can take out at least one or two before they could stop me.”

  My brows rose at that. “I would pay good money to see that. Which two?”

  “Ethan’s the easy mark. After Ethan, I’d probably go for either Luke or Jamie; they both have potentially troublesome abilities.”

  “Isaac can be a handful, and he can be very aggressive,” I warned.

  “At your recommendation, I consented to let Isaac try to bite me and use his abilities. My knee-jerk reaction was to punch him in the mouth.”

  I covered my mouth with my hands. “Did you land a good hit?”

  “Knocked him right out,” Raymond admitted. “I even felt guilty over it, since he was supposed to be showing me how his abilities worked. He bit me, and I just acted. Didn’t even think about it until I had him out cold on the floor.”

  “I should be offended you took out my drainer, but I’m also very impressed.”

  “He forgave me. When he woke up, he complained I had an overactive fight instinct and that it wasn’t fair that he’d gotten sucker punched by a pur
e.”

  I laughed. “Thank you for that glorious bit of ammunition that I’ll use against Luke and his quad. I’ll enjoy scolding them while they’re bound and gagged. It’ll be a training exercise as soon as we run out of leads on Euthal.” Slumping my shoulders, I sighed. “A seduction sounds so much nicer than work right now.”

  “Mhmm.”

  “I hate warlocks. Can work be cancelled today?”

  “I’m afraid not, but if it’s any consolation, I have a rather open schedule that could be earmarked for seductions in the evenings.”

  “I’m going to need instruction on how to leave work at a reasonable hour.”

  He laughed. “Learn to work from home in the evenings. That’ll make it much easier to help manage your diet, too.”

  I blinked. “I can do that?”

  “You did last night.”

  Huh. I had. My eyes widened. “Wait. I can really work from home?”

  “Seriously, Bubbles? Did it really never occur to you that you could work from home? Even I can take half of my work home with me thanks to digital records.”

  “Add some form of punishment for stupidity to the list, please.”

  Raymond laughed. “No need. It happens. Honestly, I suspect your quads believe you’ll starve to death if you start working from home alone.”

  “It’s so sad that’s probably accurate.”

  “I’ll cut a deal with you. You keep doing the badass supernatural quad manager thing, I’ll handle the police work, the seductions, meals, and ensuring you remember you’re human. For the record, my job is so much better than your job.”

  It really was. “We’re pretty poor excuses for adults, aren’t we?”

  “That’s all right. The real adults have boring lives anyway.”

  They did? “My parents aren’t real adults, are they?”

  “Definitely not. They got you a house and two pet ducks. That’s definitely a sign of not being a real adult.”

  “And one is a crippled duck.”

  “But she’s a cute duck.”

  “She really is.” I sighed. “Is there a school for adulthood? I feel like I need classes now.”