Lovers Hiatus
Page 13
Their first serious “this might be the end fight” had occurred when Veronica had been sulking because he couldn’t take her out one night, while he was working on the last few chapters of a book. The ideas had been pouring out of his head damn near, not only for the current book but for the next one in the series. So he’d been going back and forth from his notebook to his computer nonstop, until his bladder feeling like it was bursting, made him get up.
Returning from the bathroom he’d gone right back at it. Until ten minutes later another idea for the next book popped up and he’d reached for his notebook. When he hadn’t been able to find it, all hell broke loose. Veronica had taken it and after some yelling and even a threat or two, she had finally told him it was in the trash. Damond had retrieved it, packed his computer and a gym bag full of clothes and got the hell out of there.
It was the first time he’d ever felt like putting his hands on a woman. He should have known it would never work between them, then and there. After two days in a hotel spent finishing the book and cooling off he’d come home, a fool who thought himself in love. She’d been contrite with tears and all. Promising to never do anything like that again and he’d forgiven her. Actually, that incident was why he took his notebook to the crapper to this day.
“Hey, Damond.”
What in the hell? Looking up he verified his ears had been right. Veronica in the flesh stood by the table.
“So I guess it’s true. People say you can think up the devil if you try hard enough.”
Veronica ignored his barb and dropped into Janae’s spot.
“How have you been? I noticed you over here and decided to come say hi.”
Veronica had noticed him alright, from when he first walked in with that woman. Had watched them all evening, eating off each other’s plates, laughing and sending teasing looks at each other. Had seen that toast and kiss too, before whoever she was had scampered off.
“You’ve said hi, are you happy now? Are you still with Mr. Richie Rich?”
“You mean Calvin...and yes I am. Why do you ask, you trying to see if I’m available?”
Veronica sent him a flirty open look. Yeah, she was with Calvin, and his pockets were still a bit fatter than Damond’s had been, but he lacked in other areas. Mainly the bedroom. Damond won in that arena hands down, and after more than a year and a half of doing without the good stuff, seeing him tonight had reminded her where to get a hit that was sure to give her a high.
“Only thing I’m trying to see is why this conversation isn’t over.”
“Oh, don’t be like that Damond. Are you saying we’d have more to talk about if Calvin wasn’t in the picture?”
“Hell no!” Damond scoffed and stood up, which forced her to slowly do the same. “You’re done with me remember? Gotta say that was the best decision you ever made for the both of us. I’m with someone else, which I have a feeling you already know.”
Janae rounded the back of the booth at that exact moment.
“Hope I’m not interrupting.” She asked the question of Damond, while keeping her eyes on the woman before her.
“Not one bit, she was just-”
“Wow...you are really tall.” Janae cut him off stepping a little closer.
“Excuse me?” Veronica sniffed taking offense.
Damond snickered. Veronica was one of those odd women who didn’t like their height. She had once told him she wanted to be shorter, more petite. He had chalked it up to her wanting to play the damsel in distress more convincingly.
Damond went to introduce them. “Janae this is-”
“Veronica. I’ve heard a bit about you, like the tall thing.”
“I see. He was just telling me about you...”
“I gathered,” Janae said curtly. “Are you here with a date?”
“No, just some friends. Actually, one of them pointed him out. They recognized him from the years we dated.” She let out a fake laugh. “I hadn’t seen him over here. Figured I’d come say a friendly hello.”
“Hello,” Janae said dismissively. “Goodbye. Don’t let us keep you from your friends.” Sliding around the other woman, Janae took her seat. Damond did the same, wisely not saying another word. Veronica gave a huff and flounced back to her table.
“That was interesting.” He deadpanned.
“What, the conversation you two had?”
“Yeah that too, but I meant you. I’m impressed with your level of petty and vindictiveness. We make a good match.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
THE REST OF THE DINNER went okay, but when Janae declined dessert Damond knew there was going to be a problem. He ordered cheesecake to go anyway, and that only earned him the pressed lips routine. He tried to let her be on the ride home, but his own temper started rising thinking about the vapid Veronica.
The night had been going great as they celebrated Janae’s accomplishment, then Veronica had to bring her ass over. Damond knew damn well she’d seen he was with a date, probably watched them all night waiting for a chance to insert herself. Having the gall to suggest they get back together or hook up. He’d read between all the lines, and had zero desire to catch anything she was throwing. At the end of the day Veronica had left him for a fatter cash cow and someone who had time to pander to her constantly.
His joke, which really was an observation about Janae’s pettiness, hadn’t gone over well either. Didn’t matter that he didn’t see it as a flaw, the resident expert on human emotions seemed to hate anything that implied she had any of her own. Damond had liked knowing she felt territorial over him. He damn sure knew he would have felt the same if some poindexter ex of hers had shown up. Still the entire dust up apparently had ruined Janae’s mood, leaving it up to him to figure out a way to save the night. Shit.
“HEY, YOU SURE YOU DON’T want any of this cheesecake?” Damond asked once they were in the house and settled.
“No, but if you want it you should have it. Don’t deny yourself what you really want.”
“Uh, okay.” Sure was a lot of tone in her voice. “I didn’t plan to not have any. I was just asking did you want some.”
“I told you I didn’t want any before you ordered it.” Janae snapped, walking out the kitchen to go flop on the couch.
Damond put the container in the fridge, using his slipping patience not to slam it. Then he went and took a seat across from her.
“You can’t be this annoyed about cheesecake.”
“Maybe I am. You once again ignored what I said and did what you wanted to do. I didn’t want any, you got it anyway. We’re barely in the door before you try to make me have some.”
“Now hold up a minute, once again? I’ve never ignored what you wanted and didn’t this time either. I just knew you were trying to leave the restaurant as soon as possible, yet I also know you like sweets. Figured I’d get it so you could have it later, when you weren’t pissed that an ex of mine spoke to me.”
“I’m not pissed that your ex came to our table to flirt.”
“Well, you sure as hell don’t have all this attitude over damn cheesecake!”
Damond’s voice raised, not quite shouting but not far from it, which didn’t seem to help anything. If her mouth got any tighter she wouldn’t have any lips, a hard feat for most black women to pull off. So he tried a different tactic.
“Talk to me, Professor, use your grown up words.”
He got a pillow to the face for that and more silence. Sitting back he waited. After about a full minute she looked over to him.
“I guess seeing Veronica didn’t sit well with me. If I’m honest it ruined the night.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted tonight to be about you. I had no clue she would be there. But this area is her normal stomping grounds. Or at least it was when we were together.”
“I think she wants to get with you again.” Janae said quietly.
“Who cares what she wants? I know I don’t. What she wants is no longer any concern of mine.”
“
She’s a real looker by the way.”
Damond closed his eyes and bit his tongue to keep a flippant comment from coming out. He still ended up apparently misstepping.
“So you’re not going to dispute that.” Janae accused.
“No. There’s nothing to dispute. It’s the first thing that caught my attention about Veronica. Besides I’ve been with a number of good-looking women in my lifetime, I’m with one now.”
“Sure, but were they all your girlfriend?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Jesus, he hadn’t had enough alcohol to deal with this shit tonight, or maybe he’d had too much.
“Come on Mr. Writer, you know words matter. When I came upon your little tetete you were telling her you were with someone else. Not with your new woman or girlfriend. Just someone else. Is that all I am to you?”
“Janae, don’t do this. You’re turning a conversation where I was telling her to kick rocks and making it into a negative.”
“This isn’t about her anymore, at least not directly. I know you weren’t interested, I got that.” Janae stood, crossing her arms too agitated to continue sitting. “You still haven’t answered the question though. You do that when you don’t want to talk about an issue. So just tell me...what I am to you.”
“Easy, you’re my lover, my writing buddy. A friend and right now a pain in my ass.” Damond stood as well. “Look, I’m sorry Veronica ruined your celebration. Let’s not let a few minutes out of the entire night get us off track. Why don’t we turn in early? We can watch a movie of your choice in bed.”
Nodding her head, Janae turned on her heel and walked towards the bedroom. Damond waited a while, knowing that a silent woman after an argument meant it wasn’t over. It only meant she had decided to let it go for now, but it wasn’t over in her head. It would be a long night, or more likely a short one if she decided to go to bed. Damond took a deep breath, before heading down the hall to join her. Only to have her march pass him going in the opposite direction. Her overnight bag clenched in a fist. Damond had to spin around to catch up.
“For real? Where are you going?” He couldn’t believe this. “It’s late, if you’re that mad I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Your buddy is going home to her own house.” Janae grabbed her purse from the end table by the door. “This friendly visit is over.”
“So I don’t call you the right term and that’s it?”
“Yeah lover, that’s it.” And slamming out the door she was gone.
JANAE DROVE HOME IN a daze, ignoring the texts and calls from Damond that came in. When she finally arrived she just dumped everything carelessly by the door and got ready for bed. She had never been jealous like this before over a man. Distraught with one being picked over her for a research team, even though she was more qualified yes, but over an ex-girlfriend no. Then again none of her other serious boyfriend’s had ex’s that looked like a model and was bold enough to approach him right in front of her either.
“The hell with her.” Janae mumbled to an empty room.
She wasn’t really upset about that part anymore just as she’d told Damond. He nor she could control Veronica’s actions. What the woman had done was remind Janae of something she had been trying to ignore. The designation of their relationship, and its projection. She hadn’t forgotten that there was something about Veronica that had made him move the woman into his home after only six months. Or that their breakup hurt him bad enough that he’d been celibate and career driven for almost an entire year after.
She couldn’t help but compare that to what she and Damond had now. They hadn’t once talked about the future since they’d been back. Janae knew that going with the flow wasn’t the worst thing and had been all for it while at the cabin. But that was then, not to mention a little slice of make believe. But now, what they were and if they had a future were real questions that tonight’s events made clear Janae wanted answers to.
There was little chance of her getting them tonight in any case. Too emotionally raw to have a rational conversation and outright pissed at the way Damond seemed to be so unconcerned of her feelings. So instead she set her actual alarm clock and went to bed. Leaving her phone in the hall still in her purse. She didn’t want to talk to him or anyone else right now.
JANAE IGNORED HIM FOR the next couple of days, though she did text him once saying that she needed some space, but that they would talk soon. In the meantime she had done a lot of thinking. Reaching a conclusion she wasn’t ready to face yet. It was July, and her summer class had started, which made the emotional strain she was under, physically draining too. Not that she was surprised by it, lethargy was a sign of depression after all.
Which is how Monday night while at home grading papers, she was caught off guard when her cell rang. The paper she was reading from a student was well thought out and distinctly interesting. Sadly something that didn’t happen as often as it should. So annoyed at being interrupted she answered without thinking about it.
“Hello, this is Janae.”
“I’m glad. I’d be a little put off if someone else picked up.”
“Damond...I wasn’t expecting it to be you.”
“No doubt, or I’m sure you wouldn’t have answered.” He said flat out.
“Probably not,” she agreed. “I’m grading papers right now. What can I help you with?”
“Janae, if you don’t drop the professional office voice with me, I’m going to get ticked off and I called to talk not argue.”
“Fine. What do you want?”
“What do I want? For starters I’d like to know why you walked out on me three days ago and have been ignoring my calls. Let’s start there.”
“I told you I needed a little space.”
“We’re better than this Professor. Let’s not act like there’s no issue to resolve.”
“Don’t call me Professor!”
It hurt to hear him use her nickname. She thought it had morphed into a term of affection. But now, maybe it was just an impersonal label he used for her.
“I have a name and I’m not so sure we’re better than this. Haven’t you called me petty and vindictive just recently, thought you liked it? Well, that’s what you got.”
Damond took a few deep breaths and tried to wrap his brain around what was happening. How his relationship had gone down the toilet so quickly and over nothing. Where the hell was all this coming from?
“Janae, I’m sorry. Whatever I did, or didn’t do—I’m sorry. I want to talk this out and make it right. I want to fix it.”
“Thanks for the blanket apology.” Her voice lost its heat. Just sounding tired when she spoke next. “Look, you’re partially right. I shouldn’t have ignored you for this long. I really did need some time to think as I came to a decision. I’ve been avoiding having this conversation with you.”
Damond’s stomach dropped. “Why, what is it that you don’t want to say? That I can tell I don’t want to hear.”
“Were done.” Janae yanked the plug, pulling her heart out in the process.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I wish I didn’t, but I do. We aren’t going to work out. I looked at your past behaviors, plus mine and the evidence says we won’t make it. We shouldn’t waste any more time on this. We had a good run but-”
“Are you hearing yourself? A good run? What the hell, you sound like you’re comparing what we have to the Popeye’s chicken sandwich mania!” Damond laughed disbelievingly at what he was hearing. “Why are you throwing what we have away?”
“What do we have exactly? You couldn’t tell me three days ago and you haven’t explained it now. Because there are plenty of groups online where you can find a writing buddy. You can get a lover on some corners for forty bucks, hell many for free! As for friends, we’re full grown adults, we should have enough of those already.”
Janae paused trying to control her voice as emotion took over. Steadying herself she finished what she had to do.
Janae pressed the end button softly but firmly. Their story had come to an end. Like all good books, they left you wishing for more. But the reality was when the story was done—it was done.
Chapter Twenty-Three
DAMOND SPENT THE NEXT two weeks spiraling down into a funk. Folks never understood, but anyone who was a creative soul was most likely a sensitive one too. Now he didn’t cry at the drop of a hat, but he shed tears. A really deep movie or book could get him going, shit he was human too. His eyes got a little moist at the news stories of abused pets and kids just like most normal people. Despite what Janae seemed to think, he wasn’t devoid of feelings like his psychopath characters. Then again, hell if he knew what that woman was truly thinking.
He was the same man she had met at the cabin, yet now he wasn’t enough? He was starting to feel like he had the relationship version of PTSD. Veronica left after finding what she bought into wasn’t quite up to her standards, and now Janae. The hell with them. If only he meant it. Well, he did when it came to Veronica, but Damond wanted his little Professor back.
He’d all but stopped working and he damned himself for that. Hadn’t he said after Veronica he would never let another woman affect his work again. But he just couldn’t get his mind to act right or give a damn at the moment. Janae said she didn’t want him, turning his sincere words against him. Was this another example of the differences in how men and women thought? Either way what could he do about it now?