CONVICTED

by Pelton, Kristi

  “You. Are. A. Dick. And…” my voice cracked. I hated that.

  His jaw sat cocked to the side as water trickled down his face and through his beard. I fought the urge to look directly at him. I didn’t want those gorgeous eyes to cool my rage. I’d honestly never seen a more handsome man.

  “And?” he asked softly.

  “And…” I made the mistake of meeting those deep brown pools and immediately forgot what I was saying. Oh, I remembered. “And, if you want to be a dick to me, fine. But don’t be a dick to him.”

  The force in which he shoved away from the table startled me, and I took a step back.

  “Josh.” I’m not sure why I even said his name. With one hand, he reached over his shoulder, gripped the back of his shirt, and pulled the wet cotton over his head, using it to dry off his hair. There were the eye-catching abs again. Shit.

  “Joss,” he said.

  “What?” I asked, my eyes taking in every single inch of his body in a gawking stare.

  “Since you are hell bent on barging into my living quarters, uninvited, yelling at me, assaulting me with water and insulting me, the least you could do is pronounce my name correctly.”

  He tossed the shirt into a dirty clothes basket sitting next to the laundry room.

  “What am I saying that’s wrong? Josh?” I shrugged.

  “Joss,” he repeated again, making a hissing sound at the end. “Dick or asshole is fine too,” he clarified. “You’ve made that clear.”

  “See! Why? Why do you have to be like that?”

  “I am under no court order to make your world a better place.”

  I bit down hard on the side of my cheek hating that our every interaction ended like this. I wasn’t easy to deal with, I knew that. I forced myself to turn this train around.

  “What kind of name is Joss, anyway?” I asked trying to make some sort of truce.

  “I assume similar to Ren?”

  “Ren means ruler,” I defended, pulling my shoulders back with pride.

  “Wren is a weak, little, dainty bird that sings early in the morning.”

  My shoulders fell back into place. I shook my head, walked around the table and toward the door. “I’m not sure what sort of people you like or the ones that are in the minority.” I threw up air quotes. “Even if I wanted to be a part of that group, I’m not sure I’d ever meet the criteria of your exclusive club. But, it would still be nice if you joined us for dinner—I’ll have a shit sandwich waiting for you.”

  I slammed the pool house door for the second time in twenty-four hours. My heart slammed against my chest just as hard. When I walked back into the main house, Daddy was sitting at the table eating.

  “You ok?” he asked.

  I nodded, taking my seat at the table. Keyona gave me the side eye and I wasn’t up for another battle. I took a bite. My asparagus was cold, but I didn’t squawk about it.

  Moments later, the French door opened and Josh…Joss… stepped into the house. Dryness infiltrated my mouth and I lost my appetite.

  “Pardon my lateness, Mr. Briscoe. May I still join?”

  My dad’s eyes lit up. “It’s Cal. Of course, Joss. We are just getting started.”

  That was a lie.

  My dad’s eagerness to please Joss was pretty tough to take, especially knowing that he would eventually let my father down.

  “Joss. This is my daughter, Ren. Ren this is Joss.”

  He extended his hand as my eyes shot daggers through him in a weird way to plead for courtesy. He squeezed my hand with excessive force, causing me to wince.

  “I’ve seen her around. I just didn’t realize she was your daughter.”

  “Joss? What type of name is that?” I asked.

  Stabbing a piece of ham with the meat fork, he dropped a piece onto his plate.

  “The one my mother gave me. Wren? As in the annoying bird that sings first thing in the morning?”

  My father simply chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

  “We actually met earlier in the horse stable,” Joss explained.

  “Ah. You met her love, Juliet.”

  Joss’s eyes flickered over to me but when Key came in to put more meat on the platter, he stared down at his plate.

  “Yes. I’ve taken care of her every day for the past few months.”

  An awkward silence fell over the dinner table, but I knew my father wouldn’t let that last for long. He started in about duties and responsibilities around the ranch. It didn’t surprise me that my father’s conversation would be with Joss. I gathered my plate and silverware and traipsed to the kitchen.

  After washing off my plate, I lined it up with the others in the dishwasher. Still aggravated, I strolled past all of them and went outside.

  Chapter 8

  Purity ring

  joss

  AFTER DINNER, I changed clothes and got ready to trek up the mountain. For two months, I had run up that mountain every day to pay tribute to Abby beneath the tree. A planet of regret rested on my shoulders as I sprinted, and with each thud of my shoes—the regret slowly shed away. I’d be where I needed to be next time. I wouldn’t let someone get hurt on my watch ever again.

  There was something about watching the sun set that made the trip even more worth it. The close to a beautiful day. Sometimes, I thought of Abby burning so bright right before darkness. The most scenic part was the peace and the silence atop that mountain. Being at the ranch, being a part of the Briscoe crew was promising in and of itself. But every evening as I watched that sun set, there was a promise of a new day hidden behind it. Grateful was an understatement.

  I closed my eyes, listening to the wind rustle the leaves. The clomp of horse’s hooves broke the serenity of what I had come to treasure.

  “You ran all the way up here?” Ren chirped as she sat atop Juliet.

  Ignoring her words, I walked to the stunning mare, showing her some love.

  “You had her run all the way up?” I asked, irritated. Ren was as beautiful as the horse.

  “We followed you. I didn’t know where you went.”

  “You pushed her too hard.”

  “She’s fine,” she said patting her neck.

  “Oh yeah? Did she tell you that?”

  “She’s my horse. You don’t get to tell me how to ride her.”

  “If you ever road me that hard, I’d buck you off.”

  When she giggled, I realized what I’d said. I kept rubbing the silk of Juliet’s muzzle ignoring Ren’s soft laughter. Truth be known, I’d never buck Ren off of me. Then again, a girl like Ren wouldn’t let me ride her.

  “Why don’t you like me?” she said softly but I heard her.

  “What makes you think I don’t like you?” I glanced over Juliet to see Ren’s face. Her tan, toned shoulders jetted up and down.

  “Just a feeling, I guess. Why do you come up here?”

  “To watch the sunset. And it’s quiet, peaceful… or at least it was.”

  “See! That!” She snapped her fingers at me. “You say stuff like that.”

  “What do you mean?” I knew exactly what she meant.

  Shaking her head, she said, “You’re mean.”

  I was mean. Her words didn’t make me feel remorseful. The meanness was like a siren before a tornado. Fair warning.

  “What’s that yarn on your finger?” I asked, noticing a piece of green yarn circling her ring finger.

  Her eyes found the yarn. “I’m not telling because you’ll laugh.”

  I tied Juliet’s reins to a limb. She didn’t seem interested in going anywhere, but I thought I should be safe just in case. I sat beneath my tree.

  “This is a cool spot,” she continued to talk, plopping down in the grass next to me. I’m not sure what she didn’t understand about the quiet and peacefulness comment. “Ok. I’ll tell you. But promise you won’t laugh.”

  “I don’t make promises.”

  Her eyes rested on mine. A honey colored iris lay beneath her tiny pupil. Eyes like I�
��d never seen. Something in her stare forced me to look away.

  “It’s a fake purity ring.”

  I glanced back at her, not saying anything. Both my brows arched.

  “I’m sort of dating this guy, and he wants to have sex and I don’t. So, the yarn serves its purpose.”

  I fought not to say more. Couldn’t she simply tell the guy no?

  The sky darkened as we sat in silence. I probably would have left by this time, but she already thought I didn’t like her. Finally, she stood.

  “Why don’t you talk?” she asked, grabbing Juliet’s reins and untying them.

  “What would you like me to say?” I rose to my feet too.

  “Well, when someone says something to you, it’s courteous to respond. “

  I nodded. “Ok. I’ll work on that.”

  She easily mounted the horse and once she was situated, I took possession of Juliet’s reins to walk her down the mountain.

  “I’ve ridden my whole life, Joss. I can ride her down,” she explained.

  “I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about her. It’s rocky and steep.”

  She huffed a breath. “Wow. Do you have to be so brutally honest?”

  That may have been a rhetorical question on her part, but I made it one on my part too. The horse may have been fine at a quicker pace, but the mountain was steep.

  “What do you want me to say? That I’m worried about you? I’m not. You have plenty of people around her at your beck and call. I don’t see the point in being anything but brutally honest. Ever,” I replied to her sarcasm. “I have found I let fewer people down if they know the truth about me.”

  “Tell me what you did to get here. I know you did something.”

  I imagined that question would come soon enough.

  “I almost killed a man.”

  Ren didn’t respond but her pouty, little lips parted in disbelief perhaps. Maybe that was enough. It should be. Maybe she understood that staying away from me was in her best interest.

  Chapter 9

  Moonshine

  Ren

  ONCE WE WERE on solid ground, Joss continued to lead us to the stables. He could have handed off the reins. He could have dropped them, but he didn’t. I’d gotten lost in his brown eyes up on that mountaintop. There was depth there but reading him was difficult. I actually thought we had a moment up there, but he had walls higher than any prison he could have served in. A hundred questions zipped through my brain after he’d admitted to almost killing a man. If he had wanted to talk about it, I think he would have. He didn’t. He didn’t try to explain himself. He didn’t try to make me understand. Silence. He did that well.

  I’d never met a man like him. A part of me was scared of him but a bigger part of me was scared of never really knowing him.

  “Thank you,” I said quietly, “for getting us safely into the stables.”

  “It’s my job.”

  “Your job isn’t to make sure I’m taken care of, Joss. But you’re obviously a good guy.”

  “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “Oh, I think I do.” Wanting to prove my point, I purposely scooted my foot deeper into the foot holster, so when I went to get off Juliet, I fell with my leg stuck in the stirrup. Immediately, Joss was at my side lifting me, so he could gently disengage my foot. Bingo.

  “You alright?”

  “Yes. My foot got stuck. Sorry.”

  Once he rested my feet on solid ground, I realized that this was the second time Joss and his strong hands had helped me—the other night when I slid in the puddle of water—and this time with the horse. Joss really was a good man, even if he didn’t believe it himself. Even if he had tried to kill someone. That was one thought that I never dreamed would go through my head.

  “Want to try something?” I asked.

  He stared at me before looking away.

  “Well?” I playfully nudged him but there wasn’t much playful about Joss.

  “What?” he asked, crossly.

  I glanced at my watch. We still had time. “Come on.”

  Surprising me, he reluctantly followed.

  Across the field, at the ranch hands’ quarters, I knocked, and Sal opened the door. His eyes fell on me and then Joss.

  “Hey, Sal. I wrangled this guy up to come try your specialty.”

  “Joss. Welcome. Come on in.”

  “Hi, Sal.”

  We followed Sal through the living quarters to the back patio where a fire burned. Sal believed the fire kept bugs away.

  “Most of the guys have hit the hay. But I thought you might be by.”

  Sal opened the fridge next to the patio and pulled out a mason jar.

  “This girl here has been sippin on moonshine since she was sixteen. She’ll be eighteen in what, six days?”

  I nodded proudly.

  “If her daddy found out…”

  Sal didn’t finish his sentence, but my guess was Joss understood.

  I tipped the bottle back, taking a couple of swigs of the apple flavored alcohol. The cinnamon lingered in my mouth. I passed the jar to Joss who also took a mouthful.

  “What do you think?” Sal asked him.

  His tongue swiped over his lips. I replayed the image in slow motion. “It’s a bit sweet but thank you for sharing.”

  The fridge door came right back open; Sal grabbed a different jar. The liquid was clearer.

  “Give this one a whirl.”

  Joss tipped the bottle to his lips. I caught myself staring at his mouth, his full lips and then his Adam’s apple as he swallowed.

  “Holy shit,” he laughed, blowing out a puff of air. His laughter made me smile.

  Sal patted Joss’s back as they laughed for a moment together. Normal Joss was gorgeous. But laughing Joss was breathtaking.

  “I want to try!” I demanded.

  “No. Way.” Sal refused. “Your little apple moonshine doesn’t have quite the alcohol the real stuff does.”

  “Sal!”

  “No, Ren. The answer’s no.”

  My bottom lip jutted out a bit. Still chuckling, Joss absentmindedly tapped it with his finger, but then pulled his hand back as if my lips burned his fingertip. Instead of grabbing his hand like I wanted to, I tipped my jar once again.

  We sat sipping moonshine for about forty-five minutes. Not much conversation, just drinking and watching the fire. Quiet. Relaxing. I’d done this so many times with the guys, I knew they didn’t enjoy conversation.

  “I gotta big day tomorrow. I need to get,” Joss said, standing. “Damn,” he snickered, wobbling on his feet just a bit. “Be careful with that stuff, Sal. That’ll kill ya.”

  “One day at a time, Joss. One day at a time.”

  I stood too. “Can I walk back with you?”

  Joss nodded once but didn’t look at me.

  “You guys know where to find me when you want to take the edge off.”

  “Thank you. Night, Sal,” Joss whispered.

  “Night, Sal.”

  Joss and I walked across the field, hearing only the sounds of our shoes meeting the ground. And whatever critters stirred around us.

  “Sal’s the best,” I said.

  “He is.”

  I had the slightest buzz. Courage.

  “Why do you think you’re an asshole?”

  “Because I am an, Ren. Just let it go.”

  “No, you’re not, Joss.”

  “Why do you feel like you have to talk to fill the quiet?”

  “Why do you feel like you don’t have to talk?”

  “Sometimes silence is ok. Sometimes silence is best.”

  “You’d always choose silence.”

  He didn’t answer or argue. From my peripheral, I observed his walk—swagger really. I didn’t know where he came from, but he belonged in those jeans and boots. I smiled.

  “There’s a tavern about a mile away where we’re getting together for my birthday party next week. Would you come?”

  “I’m no
t allowed off the ranch. I’m a prisoner here.”

  “We can take the horses. You’ll be on Briscoe property.”

  Silence again. I’d take that as a no. This beautiful man was stubborn and unbreakable. I, on the other hand, was an open book. A book he didn’t want to read.

  When we got to the pool, Joss broke off without saying anything and headed to the pool house.

  “Night, Joss,” I said quietly. Not to him. Not to anyone. Just throwing it out there in the void.

  Once in my room, I laid on the pillows in my bay window, in the darkness and stared down at the pool house. With the small light on over the kitchen sink, I could see Joss move around. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to crack his code. My body responded to him in a way it had never responded to Evan. To anyone actually. Something inside me thrummed when I was around Joss. Laying here, I felt it inside of me still.

  He’d been hurt. I didn’t know by who or what, but he reminded me so much of my father, and Dad’s entire world had crashed. He had never recovered. Joss carried the hurt in his shoulders too. Or maybe his heart was broken. There seemed to be a heaviness in his chest—a curve in his shoulders as if the burden was too heavy to hold up. As I watched him wash his face, I wanted to go back down there and hold him. Make him forget the hurt, if only for a minute. The pool house went dark.

  I rolled over and stared up at the rotating ceiling fan. Joss’s walls were too high for me to get through. Or so it seemed. There were times I thought we made progress but then he seemed hell bent on putting me in my place. Releasing a deep breath, I wondered if I needed to just stop trying to be near him. Maybe he thought I was too aggressive. Maybe I needed to play hard to get. Honestly, I didn’t know if I could stay away…but I would try.

  Chapter 10

  Avoidance

  Joss

  DAMN, IT TOOK every ounce of composure to make it back to the pool house. That moonshine knocked me on my ass and made Ren look delicious in the moonlight. Her blonde hair fell around her shoulders so beautifully. She was thin. Too thin. When she fell of the horse, my fingers nearly touched when I caught her waist. Just a little bit of alcohol wasn’t good for her. It was obvious by her questions, that she wanted to know more about me. That wasn’t good either. On the walk back, I fought to keep my distance—chanting Abby’s name in my head to help me keep focus. When Ren turned off toward the house, I sighed a deep breath of relief.