CONVICTED

by Pelton, Kristi

  “Look, convict. I don’t know what you aren’t understanding.”

  A sardonic laugh scratched up Joss’s throat as he hopped down to his feet, storming toward Evan. “You’re like a fucking finish line asshole. I can’t wait to reach you and show you who the winner’s gonna be.”

  “Joss!” I screamed, a painfully fake scream, but it was enough to get him to turn around. I knew it would. It had to be because I’d read what the judge said to him and fighting wasn’t in the cards or I’d lose him. “Please don’t.”

  “Yes, please don’t,” Brax added as Blaze trotted in a sideways gait.

  Joss jabbed his finger in my direction. “You don’t, Ren. Just don’t. Ever again.” Then he grabbed Blaze and Buddy’s reins and started to walk Braxton in the direction of the stables. An invisible string between Joss and my heart tugged, causing a dull ache the further he went. When I turned around giving up, I finally met Evan’s glare.

  Chapter 23

  Broken promises…

  Joss

  “DID YOU HEAR the God damn judge, brother? Did you hear him say no more fights? For God’s sake, Joss. You’re not gonna have to worry about fuckin’ her when some guy is fucking you in prison. What do you not understand?” Braxton didn’t yell, he just stated things matter of fact. He always had. Nothing like Pop.

  I didn’t answer. My deep breaths were my attempt to calm the storm brewing inside of me.

  “How the hell did this happen?” he asked softly.

  I collapsed on my sofa and stared up at him with a quiet desperation. “I don’t know. I used to pray and drink to forget Abby, but somewhere it changed and now, I’m trying to forget Ren.”

  Brax sat on the arm of the sofa. “Promise me, Joss. Promise me, you’ll at least try to leave her alone. It’s obvious she doesn’t make it easy. But try, ok?”

  I nodded, hesitantly. He was asking a lot from me, but I never wanted to let Brax down.

  “I believe in you, brother. If you two are meant to be, then it’ll happen after this is over.”

  Brax didn’t believe those words any more than I did. He knew better than me that she wasn’t just on the other side of the tracks…but an entire city and another set of tracks separated us. But, then again, I didn’t believe my words either. Even as I said them, I knew they were a lie.

  Later that night, after he’d left, Ren knocked on my door steadily for about ten minutes while I sat inside refusing to answer. With her head hung and shoulders slumped, she shuffled past the windows, never looking my way.

  _______________

  Twenty-four hours, that’s how long I kept that promise to Brax. After a scorching hot day, I couldn’t wait to shower and crash. Only one other time since I’d gotten here had we come in after dark, and I was exhausted. My body riddled with aches from the day in the fields. Striding for the door of my place, I pulled up short. Ren was sitting against the wall, her back resting near a window. I cursed beneath my breath. But, as I walked closer, it was obvious she was crying.

  I swallowed, trying to maintain a lick of composure. Even in the darkness, I could see her nose was red.

  “What’s up? You ok?” I asked.

  She shook her head.

  Desperately trying to keep it cool between us, I sat next to her, but didn’t touch her. With the way I’d worked today, I needed to keep my distance.

  “What’s up?” I asked again.

  After a long inhalation, she laid her head on my shoulder. “It was four years ago tonight.”

  “For what?”

  “Reece. He died four years ago.”

  My head tilted back until it thumped against the door. “I’m sorry, Bird.”

  “I wish you could have met him. He was so cute. The girls loved him. And he was funny and full of life,” she sobbed.

  “What happened?” Sal had told me already, but I wanted to know her version.

  “Can we go inside?”

  My gaze fell over her swollen eyes and tear streaked cheeks. I didn’t have a chance in hell letting rationale win. I nodded once, stood up and offered my hand to her. I hated the way it fit perfectly in mine.

  My body was drenched and smelled awful, and there was nothing I wanted more than a shower. Well, there may have been something I wanted more.

  “Reece asked Daddy about having a pool party for his birthday. I don’t really remember it,” she said as I purposefully sat on a separate piece of furniture. Distance. “He asked if they could drink. Daddy, of course, said no.” Her voice broke, and I wanted to go to her but tried to hold true to my promise to Brax. The term broken promises made more and more sense.

  “Would you mind just letting me sit here for a few minutes? You can shower or whatever. I just want to pull myself together.”

  Last time I got out of the shower with her here, she was in my bed.

  “Ok,” is all I said.

  While in the shower, I got off quickly to avoid the temptation or fighting any urges later. But I was back to her in no time.

  “Thank you, I feel much better. How about you?” I asked, finding her staring out the window.

  She shrugged. “I know my parents divorced because Reece dying tore them apart. My dad blames himself. My mom just shut down. I just… existed.”

  “I’m glad you exist.” Once the words came out, regret settled in.

  Her eyes closed, and I wasn’t sure what that meant. I sat in my chair—a one-person piece of furniture.

  “Death is hard,” I whispered. “Your dad shouldn’t blame himself.”

  “Are your parents still together?”

  “No.”

  “What happened?”

  My mind searched for anything to say but the truth. “I was pretty young.”

  “You and Braxton seem really close. I miss that with Reece. We did so much together. And my dad…” Her huff after she said his name was confusing to me. He provided her with so much.

  After a long minute of silence, I spoke. “I’m sure your father misses his son.”

  A mocking chuckle came from her. “But, Reece is so easy to replace.”

  “What’dya mean?”

  I stared at her as a million different expressions flitted across her face.

  “You, Joss. That’s why you’re here. Don’t you see that?”

  Confusion clouded my own brain while I processed what she said. “What?”

  She sat upright. “You’re number 3. The other two didn’t work out.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about Cal Briscoe so desperately wanting to replace his son. You fit the prototype, Joss. Around the age of 18, troubled, needing saved from the system so he’s able to offer you a place.”

  I came flying up out of the chair. “What the fuck, Ren? I don’t fucking need saved. And, as far as being troubled, my fucking girlfriend was killed in front of my eyes!” Blood swooshed in my ears the more I yelled. “There aren’t many people I’d kill for, Ren. But, I would’ve killed that man had Abby not said my name.” Emotions running high, I didn’t even think before the words came tumbling out of my mouth. “I’d kill for you too,” I whispered.

  Slowly, she stood up and walked toward me. I think she was measuring my response. Her wide-eyed gaze never let mine. She wrapped her arms around my mid-section, stealing my breath and draining me of the anger. I felt a sudden lurch in my heart. I grabbed her elbows, trying to break her embrace, but her arms tightened. I don’t think she understood the gravity of my feelings. Sharing her was not an option for me. The ability to love her without consequences weighed heavily on me. My promise to Brax was unequivocally as important. But Evan was a deal breaker. If she would cheat on him with me, she would likely cheat on me as well.

  “I won’t touch you, Ren, as long as you’re with him.” My body stiffened, trying to prepare for the loss of her touch.

  “I broke up with him.”

  This time, I shoved her back so I could look into her eyes. “Is that for tonight or for go
od?”

  Her gaze hummed from my eyes to my mouth and back to my eyes. “I don’t belong with him. I belong with you.”

  “You mean the troubled guy? The one who needs saved?”

  “That’s not how I feel. That’s how my dad feels. I just want to love you,” she whispered.

  “You want to slum it for a while with a guy like me, eh?” It certainly wasn’t my first time to do so but Ren would be difficult to let go.

  “Please don’t be mean. You know that’s not it. I know you know that. Just let me love you.”

  The last things that should have been going through my mind were whizzing by in flashes—my father, Brax, Abby, Cal Briscoe. These people either wanted everything from me or nothing. I had nothing to give and was worthy of even less.

  I tried to step back away from her, from this mistake I was about to make. She held her ground not letting me go. If we got caught, prison might be my punishment. At least I’d have this memory to take with me. I didn’t know if I’d ever get another chance to be with someone like Ren.

  “What is it you think you want from me?” I asked.

  Her cheek lay flush with my chest while she held on to me. “I want everything. I want to know your story. I want to be a part of it. I want to know who you are. Why do you get angry so easily? I want to know what your favorites are. Pizza, cookies, ice cream, cake, pie, movies, music. Everything.”

  “We can do all that without your arms around me.” My story was not a good one.

  “I want you,” she whispered.

  My eyes closed. “Ren, you’re 18. You don’t know what you want,” I said softly as if I was so much older. I damn sure knew I wanted her.

  Like a snake, her arms constricted tighter. “I want everything, Joss. I want to know how you broke your collarbone because I can tell you did. You have a scar underneath your chin and one over your left eye. I want to know what hurt you. I want you to kiss my scars. I want your touch. Your kiss. Your time. I want the fairytale. I want… you.”

  My gaze intensified. I fell harder with those words and I knew there was no going back. Somehow, I needed to change her mind.

  “You don’t want me, trust me.”

  Finally, she shoved me away. “Don’t tell me what I do or don’t want, Joss.” She plopped her hands on her hip. “I know exactly what I want, and he’s standing in front of me pushing me away.”

  Taking all consequences into consideration, I weaved my fingers through her hair, gripped her neck and guided her toward me. Her pouting lips parted slightly as my lips came down to reunite with hers. There was something about her kiss. A softness. A gentleness. A hunger. Our mouths fed off one another. Some kisses were aggressive in search of more. But, not this one. As our tongues slowly maneuvered around each other, retreating as the kiss slowed but finding one another again when the kiss revived—I swallowed every single sound she made. Her whimpers destroyed me in the best possible way making me want to feed her every need.

  Surprising me, one of her hands cupped my nuts and then moved up the hardening length of me. So much for a little foreplay. I stopped a grin from happening. She was so eager. She stopped kissing me and rested her forehead on my chest. The second she tried to bend to her knees, I stopped her.

  “Ren,” I whispered. From her knees, her swollen eyes peeked up at me. “We have plenty of time. The night is early. Come here.”

  I bent down, lifting her. I sat in the chair, nestling her on my lap.

  “Why don’t you want me to do that?”

  My gaze latched onto hers. The honey colored iris’s that I’d come to love were heavy with thought, dark.

  With my index finger, I guided her hair away from her face and then twisted the locks around my finger. “Trust me, I want that more than you will ever know.”

  “Then why did you stop me?”

  “Have you done that before?”

  I steadied my breathing, preparing for her answer. She shook her head and relief soaked through me.

  “Before we do that. I want to know some things.”

  “Ok,” she whispered.

  “Since you brought up knowing things about each other.” I smiled. “There are things I’d like to know too. You live with your mom during school and Cal during the summer?”

  “Yes. Mom only lives about an hour away. Closer to the city. It would be easy to drive back and forth, except they won’t let me. Not yet, anyway.”

  I offered her a slight smile. If they were protective about her driving, I couldn’t imagine how they’d feel about her falling for someone like me.

  “I’ll bet your father misses you when you aren’t here.”

  She rolled her eyes. “So much that he finds someone else to parent.” A small laugh followed her words, but I knew this hurt her.

  “I know you think he tries to replace Reece, but my stay here is short lived in the whole scheme of things.”

  I watched her closely, and that little V formed between her eyes. “I don’t know really what would happen… if he’d ask you to stay or come back or what. I just know he’s been searching for a while.”

  Silence absorbed us both for a few minutes. I’d never really sat with a girl like this. Most of the times I was with Abby, her parents were there. This closeness felt incredible.

  “You know, if he asked you to stay, that would make you my brother in his eyes.”

  My brow cocked up. “I’ve never had a sister, but I’m pretty sure I don’t feel about you like I would a sister. Unless I lived in Arkansas.”

  Laughter erupted between us. Hearing her giggle was a sound I never wanted to forget. My eyes closed just for a second, trying to commit it to memory.

  “What happened with the other guys?”

  The shoulder bones that protruded beneath her thin t-shirt rose and fell with a simple shrug.

  “Tell me your favorites,” she said, changing the subject.

  “OK, favorite what?”

  A slight shiver shuddered through her body. I snatched the throw off the back of my chair and covered us.

  “How about favorite pizza?” she said softly.

  We’d only had frozen pizza out of a box. “The all meat one.”

  With the cutest little scrunch to her nose, she said, “Eww. That’s too meaty.”

  “There’s no such thing,” I laughed. “What is yours?”

  “Cheese.”

  “Bird. Cheese is not a pizza. That’s like a breadstick.”

  There was the laughter again.

  “Favorite cookie?”

  My mind raced. I didn’t have many cookies that weren’t out of a box either and I didn’t want to say Oreo or something stupid.

  “I don’t know what kind of cookies you brought in here the other night, but those would be my favorite.”

  Joy filled her eyes as she sprang upright on my lap. “Those are my favorite too!”

  “What’s your favorite…”

  “You,” I interrupted. “You’re my favorite, Ren. My favorite everything.”

  She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. The upper teeth pushing into her bottom lip with a smile tugging at her mouth said it all. Regret measured high on the scale when I said the words out loud. But, I tried to let that go.

  Ren inched upright, straddling me, our bodies immediately making contact as she ground herself against me, trying to find a comfortable position. Her body against mine was as natural as it could be.

  Her eyes clouded with lust. A look I was all too familiar with but now only wanted to see on Ren’s face. She licked her lips as she arched in to give me a kiss. For the time being, I would allow her this. Being out of control was hard for me. This territory was new for her, and I wanted to help her steer through it.

  Asserting what little control she was giving me, I pulled her into me and released a series of kisses down her throat. My hands slid up her shirt, finding her breasts—gently kneading them until her head fell back. The lacy bra was in my way. With one hand, I reached around
back and easily unfastened it.

  Her head shot back up and with a smile she said, “Someone’s done that before.”

  I didn’t deny or admit, but yes, many times. Grabbing the hem of her shirt, I pulled it up and over her head with no resistance from her and then I freed her arms from the straps of her bra.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered, hoping to make her comfortable. I sat upright in the chair, holding onto her ass, so she would stay put. Her nipple was ripe for the taking and take it I did. First with my tongue, swirling around it, and then covering the soft skin with my mouth. Her bottom half ground against me, while she arched her back to give me every inch of her breasts.

  “Ah,” she breathed into my hair. “Joss…”

  Hearing my name come out of her mouth did things to my body.

  But, this time she was the one that pushed me away, slipped off my lap and slid to the floor. Moving too quickly for me to even react, she skimmed under the elastic of my shorts and exposed me.

  I swallowed, hard, as I watched her mouth open. Holding my dick with both her hands, her tongue swept over the top, then she tried to take it. Her head bobbed up and down, trying to go further down each time, but was unsuccessful. Watching her try, watching her struggle was truly beautiful to me. That’s when she started to move her hand up and down on my shaft.

  It didn’t matter that I had gotten off just an hour earlier in the shower. My release built as she worked every inch of me. As good as it felt, I didn’t want to come down her throat. I wanted this girl. All of her. The closer I got, the further away went all rational thought.

  Stopping her, I stood, lifted her and carried her to the bedroom. I worried because she didn’t know this side of me. This aggressive, take what I want side. It probably took less than ten seconds for me to inch not just her shorts but her panties off too. Her breaths came fast while she watched me.

  I knelt next to the bed and gently pushed her legs apart. Her hand came down between her legs, trying to cut off my view. Instantly, I intertwined my fingers with hers, moving her hand out of the way.

  “Joss.”

  “Yes?”

  “I’ve never been naked in front of someone.”