by Selena
She may have spoken softly, but her words were a devastating blow.
“I’ll never do it again,” I swore, my hands moving up to grasp her upper arms.
“What happened to never say never?”
“Give me a chance,” I said, coaxing her forward. “One chance. I promise you, Laney Tucker. I’ll be the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“You’re already the worst.”
“Let me make it right.” I drew her in, my eyes on her baby blues.
“Why should I?” she asked, her voice still edged in resentment.
“Tell me you don’t remember how good we were together,” I said. “Tell me you don’t want me anymore, and I’ll walk away and never talk to you again. You can go and marry that idiot from school, and I’ll send you a toaster.”
“I don’t want you,” she said, but her eyes were pooling with moisture.
“You’re lying.”
Her pillowy lower lip quivered, and I wanted to lean in and bite it. “You lied to me,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry, Laney. I’m so fucking sorry.” I eased forward, waiting for her to pull back, to spit in my face, to crush my balls with her knee. But she didn’t. Her eyes dropped closed, and I tilted her chin up, my lips caressing her trembling ones. A single tear ran down her cheek, and I stopped it with a kiss. It awakened my hunger for the taste of her, the whole ocean between those thighs.
“I love you,” I whispered, my mouth finding hers again, pressing harder. Her lips parted, and my tongue slipped between, slowly this time, drawing her back from the edge. She responded, stepping closer, so our bodies melded together, and her hands found my hair. Her thumb stroked my cheek while her fingers tickled at the back of my neck.
Securing her body to mine, I took a step back, pulling her toward the gazebo. The night sounds swelled around us, urging me on. Wordlessly, she followed, never breaking the kiss until we reached the step up, to enter the place where we’d first played as children and then met as lovers.
When she hesitated, I bent and scooped her into my arms, carrying her over the step and inside, where I laid her down on the wooden bench.
“Brody,” she whispered, her fingers trembling as they stroked my cheek. “What are we doing?”
“Remembering,” I said, lowering myself onto the bench, careful not to press her into the hard wood beneath her back. “Tell me you remember.”
My hands cradled her head, my eyes searching hers for a clue, a sign. I tasted her mouth again, pressing my tongue into her deeply this time. She clutched at my shoulders before sliding her hands down my back, pulling me closer still, until I could feel her soft tremble belly under my taut abs.
“Tell me you do,” I said, pulling away and smoothing her hair back from her forehead.
“I remember.” Her eyes were vulnerable, almost afraid. I reached for the button on her jeans, opening it with one hand while I held myself up with the other, wanting to crush myself into her but holding back.
“I remember, too,” I said. “I remember everything, Laney. I’ve never forgotten a single moment we shared. Have you?”
“No,” she breathed.
“Tell me you still want this.” I slid down her zipper and touched her, pressed my fingers to the hot pulse of her clit. “I can feel it,” I whispered. “I know you still want it.”
“I do,” she gasped as my cheek brushed hers. I pulled my hand away, not wanting to lose control and waste the chance, to have it end too quickly. Laney dropped her head back, letting my lips trail over her throat and back to her mouth. I sank my tongue into her mouth, devouring the kisses I’d needed for so long without knowing it, without believing I could have it again. Without daring to believe.
I kissed her until I was drunk with it, until her intoxicating scent made my senses disappear and all I could do was breathe her in like I hadn’t tasted oxygen in three years. I kissed her until there was nothing but her, and me, and the summer night over us like a curtain.
I didn’t stop until she pulled back, her lips swollen, her eyes blurred with desire. “Touch me,” she breathed.
I sat up and tugged her jeans down over her hips, pulling of her boots with them. They clattered to the gazebo floor. Her mouth drew me back, hungrily devouring me as her hips pressed up against me, begging for my touch.
Wrapping my arms around her, I stood and lifted her onto the railing. “You’re still my girl,” I said, spreading her knees. “You’ve always been my girl, Laney Tucker. You always will be.” I peeled off her shirt and then my own, wanting to feel her skin against mine.
She pulled at me, tugging at my shoulders. I held back and undid her bra, drawing it over her arms before stepping forward and pressing my bare skin to hers. Our heartbeats intertwined, weaving together into an old, familiar rhythm.
“Touch me,” she whispered again.
My fingers skimmed the silken skin of her inner thighs, then pressed against the wet fabric of her panties between them. I worked my fingers against her for a few seconds before tugging her panties aside. A sharp, shuddering inhalation sounded as I stroked her swollen clit, and her nails dug into my shoulders. I slid my finger lower, finding her slippery opening and sinking a finger deep inside her. Fuck, she was so tight I wanted to feel her take my cock. She gave a shuddering cry, spreading her legs for me.
But when she reached for my belt, I pulled away and knelt between her knees. I’d been waiting for this moment for three years. I didn’t want to rush it. She wasn’t one of the baby-dolls. She was the girl I’d been dreaming of every day since I lost her. I intended to savor her like the delicacy she was.
My lips moved from her knee, tracing along one thigh and then the other, pulling lightly at her soft skin, until I found her center, her flesh softly pulsing under my tongue. Without knowing it, I had been waiting for this every night I’d been without her. She was my addiction and my savior from it. Everything I needed was right here. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed. I sucked gently at her, then slid my tongue into her, electric with the sensation of her fingers clenching in my hair, her nails raking across my scalp, her thighs trembling.
Her hand circled the back of my head and she pulled me in, burying my face in her cunt. I pushed his tongue deeper, savoring each taste as she gasped more quickly, coming closer, coming closer, coming…
She cried out and clutched me to her, the pulses against my mouth and the rush of her cum almost enough to drive me over the edge. I tasted the ocean and the whole world in her cunt, the sweetness, the wildness, the awe.
When she finally let me go, I stood and pulled her closer, my mouth finding hers. “Laney,” I whispered into her hair. “I didn’t know how much I needed you until you showed me.”
“Shhh…” She covered my mouth with her fingertips. “Let’s not talk more tonight. We’ve done enough talking for now. Let’s just be here, together, like we used to be.”
Sweeter words, I’d never heard spoken. I kissed her mouth, her temple, trailing my lips over her ear. “You can run away from me, you can ignore me, but I’ll always come back to claim you,” I whispered. “Always.”
Her body shivered against mine, and she arched her back as my hands moved down her bare skin to her hips. I rocked her forward against me as my lips scattered kisses down her neck.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
This time, when she reached for my zipper, I let her undo my jeans. She guided me to her opening. But when she pressed me against her slick entrance, I paused, not sure I could control myself more than a minute or two, like our first time, when the feeling of being inside her had overwhelmed me. But I wasn’t some sixteen-year-old virgin now. I could show her what she’d been missing. I ran my hands over her body, marveling in her soft skin while she squirmed for more. Leaning in, I brushed my lips over hers, my hand cupping her breast.
“I want you inside me,” she whispered, tilting her head back so my mouth could move over every inch of her throat while m
y fingers squeezed her nipple gently. She gasped and arched against me, reaching down to guide me in. Slowly, I began to push into her impossible tightness. She sucked in a breath when I breached her opening and she swallowed my tip. I bit my lip, hard, to hold back. The sound of her gasping breaths reassured me, and I pushed a little deeper.
“Wait,” she whispered. “Hold still.” Gripping the railing, she lifted herself and slowly lowered onto my cock, sinking further and further until I was buried in her. Her legs circled my waist and she threw her head back and braced herself on the railing. “Now,” she gasped. “Now.”
I began moving, slowly at first, taking my time with her. Her thighs flexed around my hips, and I moved faster, faster, driving into her tightness until she adjusted to my size, her wetness coating my cock and letting me move more easily. I gripped her hips and slammed into her harder, harder, until she threw back her head again and let out a wild cry that almost did me in. Her walls gripped me tighter as her back arched and helpless cries slipped from her lips into the blackness above as she came. Again, I held back, the throbbing inside her too intense to give up.
When the pulses subsided at last, she sat upright, draped her arms around my neck and kissed me. “Wow,” she breathed. “That was amazing.”
That was all I needed, the only person who ever needed to tell me that. I didn’t need any of the other girls, the money, the fame. All I needed was Laney, and she was mine at last.
“Now you,” she said.
“You again,” I said. “One more time.”
This time, I lay her on the bench, just the way I remembered doing when we’d been teenagers. I kissed her eyelids, her cheeks, moving slowly inside her now that some of our passion had been dispelled. More than anything, I wanted to make it last, make her remember this night forever, the same way I’d remembered the first time. So I made love to her slowly, tenderly, watching her face, tasting her lips, running my fingers over her smooth skin. I came with the taste of her still on my tongue.
Afterwards, we lay in a tangle on the grass outside the gazebo. Laney lay on me, her head resting on my chest, as my heartbeat slowed to normal. I stroked her hair, now a tousled mess, and drew in a breath, savoring the scent of our sweat mingling with the scents on the night—the dewy grass, the horses, the Kentucky earth around us.
It was just like it had been before the band, before all of it. Just us, in the night, with the stars above and the rolling, grassy fields stretching out around us. In that moment, I knew that I didn’t need to call Nash again. I had all I had ever wanted right there already.
fifteen
Laney
I was fucked. Here I’d made all these plans, spent all summer formulating my revenge, and now I’d ruined it all. What was it they said about best laid plans? Here I was, lying on Brody Villines’s hoodie in the grass, staring up at the millions of diamonds sparkling in the big star-strewn sky, my head pillowed on his arm.
“Remember the first time we came here?” Brody mused. “I’d come all the way to your house to throw pebbles at your window. I thought I was so romantic. Until we got back, and your dad was waiting up for us.” He chuckled and turned toward me. “I was so scared I thought I’d piss my pants. I thought he’d shoot me for sure.”
“He wasn’t mad at me,” I said smugly. “He sent me to my room, but I wasn’t even grounded.”
“Are you sure? He called my parents, got them up out of bed in the middle of the night. I was grounded for months.”
“Oh, I’m sure I had to beg Daddy and tell him how sorry I was,” I said, smiling at the memory. “And promise never to do it again.”
“But here we were, the very next night.” His eyes grew serious, and he stroked my cheek. “Nothing could keep me from you.”
“And that time your mom caught us in your room,” I said, stifling a giggle.
“Almost caught us,” he said. “You hid in my closet.”
I laughed, thinking back to all the nights I’d snuck out. Blair had caught me sneaking back in one morning at dawn, but she hadn’t done anything. She’d shaken her head and said something about young love. If only she had stopped me, maybe I wouldn’t have gone on to have my heart shattered into a million shards like a crystal vase.
But no, that wasn’t fair. I would have found a way to keep seeing Brody if I had to break out of a prison to do it. He was right—I was his, and I always had been. He was under my skin, in her blood, smeared on each of those million pieces of my shattered heart. He was inside me, my weakness, the one thing I couldn’t resist. Even when I turned away from him, ran away, he could lure me back with one crooked smile.
I’d tried to fight it all these years, because somewhere deep inside, where only Brody could touch me, I’d always known it. I’d known that I wouldn’t be able to resist, so I’d avoided him. And now that I couldn’t, he’d proven it. No matter how strong my resolve, I was helpless when it came to him. He tore down all my defenses, each and every wall, and claimed me for his own.
And what a reclamation it had been.
* * *
Later, I sat on my bed, a tray balanced on my lap. On the tray sat a mug of foamy cappuccino, decaf, three blackberry shortbread thumbprints, and my phone. The midnight coffee-and-video chat date had become a tradition for Piper and I our freshman year of college, when Piper had her first real boyfriend. In high school, she’d been too busy and focused for a boyfriend.
“So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?” Piper asked, her face blurring as she adjusted her laptop for the video chat session ahead. She snuggled down into the mountain of pillows she’d made at her headboard and smiled teasingly. “Any new Brody gossip?”
I considered hiding what had happened for about one tenth of a second. Yes, I was so ashamed of it I’d actually considered flaying myself as penance, but Piper was the one person in all the world I trusted enough to share my most humiliating moments, like when I’d gotten my period on the bus to church camp and bled through my white shorts.
“I ruined it all,” I blurted out. As I spilled the story, Piper nodded sympathetically and sipped her coffee, certainly not decaf. Piper lived on coffee and seemed to be one of those rare superwomen who needed almost no sleep.
“Do you still want revenge?” she asked when I had finished the story.
“Of course I want revenge,” I said. “More than ever. I can’t believe he wore me down again. I swore I’d never even speak to him again. I’m so weak.”
“Maybe it could work to your advantage,” Piper said. “Maybe you’ve got him hooked now.”
“How? How do I have him hooked? I already gave him what he wanted.”
“What do you want, Laney?” Piper asked, sliding a hank of red hair back over her shoulder. “I mean, what’s your end game?”
“My end game is to destroy his life the way he destroyed mine,” I said fiercely. “He can’t just do that to girls and get away with it. Someone has to teach him a lesson. And you know it’s not going to be one of his groupies.”
“And you’re sure you don’t like him anymore?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He’s disgusting. Oh, God, but he’s so sexy.” I groaned and shoved a cookie into my mouth.
“I still think, if you’re sure that’s what you want, it could work to your advantage,” Piper said. “Now he’s had a taste, make him want more. You know he’s always been crazy about you. Y’all are perfect together, and he knows it.”
“Maybe,” I admitted, remembering the way Brody had held me in the grass afterwards, told me he loved me. Surely he didn’t do that with his fangirls. This wasn’t a part of my plan, but that didn’t mean I had to give up entirely. Maybe it could be salvaged. I’d have to play it even more carefully now, though, do everything I could to speed things up. I’d already gone miles beyond the line I’d sworn to never cross. Now, I was in too deep to stop, to abandon the whole plot. If I did that, I was just one more sucker who fell for Brody Villines’s twisted smile and lying eyes.
sixtee
n
Laney
I managed to avoid Brody for the next few days while I regrouped. Sunday morning, I joined my parents at the little country chapel with a belfry on top that I’d gone to all my life. I’d been baptized beside this very building, and I knew everyone in congregation by name. We stood around talking for a few minutes as people greeted me and asked about school, the weather in Memphis, my sorority, the Tigers, and the Grizzlies. After the usual pleasantries, I made my way inside and sat in the familiar pews while my father, one of the deacons, greeted people on their way in.
Someone slid into the seat beside me, and my skin prickled with heat before I even turned to see Brody giving me that panty-dropping crooked smile.
“What are you doing here?” I asked through clenched teeth, turning back to stare straight ahead.
“This is my church, too.”
“I’m surprised they even let you in after everything you’ve done.”
“Good thing they don’t know,” he said with a grin.
“This isn’t funny,” I hissed. “You can’t be here.”
“Can we talk about what happened the other night?” he asked, lowering his voice to that silky purr that made my knees threaten to clench.
“We’re in a church.”
“So?” he said. “It’s not a sin if I’m gonna marry you.”
“You’re not going to marry me, Brody,” I said, but my heart was pounding. This was it, everything I’d always wanted. Although, I’d wanted it for different reasons back when we were together. Now… It was so easy I wondered if he’d figured me out, if he was playing me right back.
“If I have anything to do with it, I am,” he said, taking my hand. “I meant what I said. I love you, Laney. I’ve always loved you. I know I made mistakes, but I’m going to keep trying, keep making it up to you, until you forgive me.”
“Stop lying to me. If this church had holy water, it would be boiling right now.” I tried to pull my hand from his, but he gripped my fingers and refused to let go.
“Too bad it doesn’t have holy water,” he said. “Because then you’d see that I mean every word I’m saying. I’m not lying. You’re going to be my wife one day, Laney Tucker. I promise you that.”