by Selena
“What makes you think I’d want to marry a cheating bastard like you?” I asked, just as my mother appeared in the doorway.
“That’s no way to talk to a fellow parishioner and neighbor,” Brody said, scooting closer so that Blair could squeeze in next to him.
“Well, hello there, Brody,” she said, giving him her big, mischievous grin. “Isn’t this a nice surprise.”
“Laney was just saying the same thing,” Brody said, gripping my fingers even tighter, until I was wincing. “Weren’t you, baby?”
I relaxed my hand in his and smiled adoringly at him. “Of course I was.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Mom said, arching an eyebrow at me. She must have seen the hand holding. As Brody’s hand relaxed around mine, I tried to calm the fury in my mind. Yes, I’d made an unplanned detour. But it could still work out. In fact, it was working out perfectly. I just needed to go along with it, pretend it was mutual, until he was in too deep to back out. Not a wedding, but maybe an engagement, if he asked me properly.
I couldn’t have asked for things to work out better. Brody hadn’t just fucked me. He’d shown up at church the next Sunday and sat with me. That was what I wanted, his groveling, his commitment. I just had to remember that it was all staged, that it wasn’t real. Brody was falling for me so easily it almost took the fun out of it.
I had to remember that at any moment, it could all fall apart. Just because it was easy now, that didn’t mean I could get comfortable. If I slipped and showed my hand, he would win. He’d leave with another notch on his belt and that smug smile on his face, knowing he’d gotten what he wanted one more time, and I’d gotten nothing.
But as he stroked my hand, sliding the pad of his thumb between each of my fingers, I had to scold myself for the thoughts entering my mind in a church. This was worse than him finding out I was playing him. This was something too close to what I’d felt before, what I’d felt again the other night.
No, I reminded myself sternly. That was only lust.
I’d had to give him something to get him hooked on me again. One night, and he was already talking about marriage. So maybe it hadn’t been a mistake. It had gotten him where I wanted him. The only danger now was keeping myself in check. The moment I started to believe his lies, started to trust him, to feel anything in return, it was all over. I would not let that happen again.
Now I just had to get a real proposal out of him. If he really meant it, he’d have to ask, and I’d have to say yes. So I’d do whatever I had to do to make that happen. To bring him to his knees in an even grander fashion than I’d planned. A public humiliation. It was almost like he was taking my plan a step further than I’d taken it myself. That was fine, though. When it all came crashing down around him, it would only make my victory that much sweeter.
* * *
Brody
When I rose from the pew, I had to adjust my trousers so I wasn’t walking around startling all the older ladies in their Sunday best. It was the kind of church where women still wore hats, where people stood around on the lawn afterwards, chatting and inviting the pastor over for lunch. As I followed Laney out, my eyes lingered on the curve of her hips, the roundness of her ass, and I remembered gripping it as I thrust into her.
With some satisfaction, I saw that she was walking a little funny, too. I’d noticed her squeezing her knees together in there when I slipped my thumb between her fingers, into the soft flesh of her palm. Something as innocent as holding hands became erotic with her. She wasn’t the sweet, passive girl I remembered. She was even better. Now she was feisty, passionate, driven and stubborn, but I knew that sweetness still lingered somewhere inside her. I just had to get deep enough inside her to reawaken it. I was up for the challenged.
As we emerged into the baking heat of summer, I saw a couple missed calls from Nash on my phone, and suddenly, it felt like I was looking at a call from the wrong number. In the midday Kentucky sun, my world seemed small and simple, and the days of waking up hungover and unable to remember the things I’d done with strangers the night before seemed like another lifetime. I was too close to getting Laney back to worry about Nash right now.
While my own parents were accepting condolences from well-wishers who had heard about my grandfather’s stroke, Blair hung on my arm. I hadn’t been to church since I’d come home, and people crowded around to see the prodigal son, returned at last. When I finally broke away, I couldn’t find Laney’s car among those left.
My phone buzzed with another incoming call from Nash, but I rejected it for now, smiling to myself as I thought of Laney leaving without a goodbye. She was jealous of all the attention I was getting, much more than she’d gotten when she came home from school. But she couldn’t blame people in a small town for being excited to have a star in their midst.
As I walked to my H2, I spotted two preteen girls surreptitiously taking pictures of me from inside their car. I grinned and jogged over, watching the girls inside squealing and grabbing each other as I approached. I tapped on the window, and one of the girls rolled it down, her round, pimply face going red all the way to the ears. “Want a picture with me?” I asked.
After they were done taking a dozen selfies with me, I headed for my vehicle, turning to blow the girls a kiss. They shrieked so loud I could hear them across the parking lot. Granted, it was a pretty small parking lot, but I was happy to make their day. They’d have something to brag about when school started, maybe even to propel them into popularity. Not every girl had a picture on her phone of Brody Villines with his arm around her.
My phone buzzed again, and I sighed and answered at last. Nash was a persistent little bastard, I’d give him that. “Hey, Nash. You do know it’s Sunday, right?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” Nash asked in his barking voice. “You at a funeral or something?”
“I’m in the south,” I said. “And in the south, we go to church on Sunday.”
“While you’re down there trying to save your unsalvageable soul, other people are wheeling and dealing. And I got you a deal.”
“Really?” I asked, stopping short beside my H2. “A solo album?”
“Just like you wanted,” Nash said. “I got you a studio in Chicago to record. Then I’m thinking small American tour, and if it takes off, we’ll add some more dates, maybe extend it for an extra leg or two. Then we’ll talk about international, but I don’t think it’s going to happen for this one. I liked your EP idea. The tour can be a smaller, more intimate experience. Get those girls in there close to you, where they want to be. They’ll pay the big bucks for that. We’ll start recording next week.”
“Next week?” My mind returned to the night with Laney, and my cock stirred inside my slacks just thinking about it.
“That’s what I said. I’ll send you over the contract tonight.”
“But—I haven’t written enough songs.”
Nash laughed. “You don’t write songs, Brody. You stand up there and look good while you sing them. That’s your job. I’ve already got a songwriter, and we’ve got some songs that’ll be great for your new solo persona. A definite break from the boyband. Show your maturity a little. You’re all grown up now, Brody-boy.”
I felt the familiar frustration set in, the helplessness, the loss of control.
“I don’t think I can do that,” I said. “I have some things in the works here.”
“What things?”
When I didn’t answer, Nash said, “Are you working with another manager?”
“No, nothing like that,” I said. “Personal matters.”
Nash laughed, his barking ha-ha laugh. “A girl, Brody? You know that’s not how it works.”
“No, that wasn’t how it worked before. I call the shots this time.”
“I don’t think so,” Nash said. “Be in Chicago next week or it’s the end of your career. I didn’t waste the last month lining this up for a no-show. If you aren’t there, someone else will be.”
“And I could find twenty more Brody Villineses. I’ll see you next week.” Without waiting for an answer, Nash hung up. I tossed my phone in the passenger seat and jumped up into the Hummer. How was I going to break this news to Laney?
seventeen
Laney
I stood before the mirror, adjusting my sundress and checking my hair. I couldn’t decide if the dress was too much. I wasn’t the kind of girl who would ride a horse in a dress, but then, I’d done a lot worse things for Brody. Even after that morning, I’d been surprised to get his text, asking me to meet him under the tree. I didn’t have to ask which tree.
I’d made him wait until evening, telling him it was too hot during the day. But now I’d run out of excuses. It was time to make him beg, make him crazy for me. Deciding the dress would work for that purpose, I turned from the mirror and headed downstairs.
“Going out?” Blair asked when she emerged from the house.
I turned to where my mother was trimming the rose bushes along the walkway. “I thought I might take an evening ride.”
“Going to be out late again tonight?”
My stomach tightened. So, my mother had heard me come in the other night. If she knew where I had been, she wasn’t giving it away that easily. Instead, she offered me a placid smile. But her eyes took in my sundress before going back to her pruning shears. Mom knew I was not the kind of girl who rode horses in a dress as well as I knew it.
“I won’t be gone long,” I said, returning my mother’s smile. “Did you need me home for something?”
“Oh, no,” she said. “Take your time.”
I turned to go to the hitching post, where Oscar was brushing Pegasus, shirtless as was his custom when Mom was outside. I’d never been sure if anything had happened between him and my mother, or if he was simply indulging her fancy.
“Is he ready?” I asked.
“Si, senorita,” Oscar said, stepping back. Pegasus swung his head around and nuzzled me, snuffling at my hands for a treat.
“Sorry, boy, I didn’t bring you anything,” I said. He huffed against my shoulder and tossed his head. I smiled and took Oscar’s hand as he helped me into the saddle. When he’d handed me the reigns, I squeezed Pegasus with my knees. He started off for the gate, which Oscar ran ahead to open. I walked Pegasus for a few minutes, then nudged him into a trot. When he was warm, I leaned forward and gave him his head.
Pegasus liked to run, and I liked the rhythm of his hoofbeats and the wind in my hair. The warm evening streamed past, fireflies dancing over the swaying grasses, the buzz and shriek of insects all around us. When I came into view of the wall—a hideous monstrosity, according to my father, and I couldn’t disagree—I slowed the pace so Pegasus could cool down. Soon we reached the line of willows, and I slipped off, leaving Pegasus free to graze.
“Brody?” I called, approaching the hanging curtain of weeping willow branches. I ducked under to find Brody sitting against the tree trunk, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with the sleeves torn off. Just the sight of him made me want to sink to my knees, melt at his feet like butter.
“Hey,” he said, patting the ground beside him. “I’m glad you came. I thought you might stand me up.”
“Now would I do that?” I asked sweetly, tucking my skirt under me before sitting in the grass beside him.
Brody grinned. “I think we both know the answer to that.”
“Fair enough,” I said, folding my legs beside me. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Us,” he said, taking my hand. “Laney, I know I did something unforgivable, but—.”
“Then why are you asking me to forgive you?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. I had planned out my every move, how demure and well-mannered I was going to be when I saw him, a true lady. And as soon as I saw him, the raw pain of it swept all that away. It was like no time had passed at all, like I was having my heart ripped out all over again.
“I’m not,” he said, his jaw set. “I know you can’t forgive the way I behaved five years ago. I’m a different man now, Laney. I learned my lesson.”
“By screwing your way around the world? That must have been tough.”
Brody flinched, but he pressed on. I had to give him credit for his persistence and for the fact that he didn’t defend himself. “I’m asking for a chance to set things right,” he said. “Just one chance. I’ll never hurt you again, Laney. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that.” Even though I’d tried to shut off my heart, already he could hurt me. And the longer I kept this up, the more likely it would be that I would end up crushed, not him. I could see that now. But I couldn’t stop.
“I still love you,” Brody said.
“You don’t love me,” I snapped. “You love the fantasy of me you have. But that sweet little girl doesn’t exist anymore, Brody.”
“That’s not true,” he said. “You’ll always be that girl to me.”
“Don’t you see, that’s just it,” I said, throwing my hands up. “She only exists in your head. She’s not real. I’m real, and I’m right here, and you blew it. Because the girl you love, she’s dead. And you know why? Because you killed her.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said, his eyes begging me to understand something I never would. “But I think that girl is still there. I think you know it as well as I do. And if you’re not that girl anymore, I don’t care. I want you, Laney, no matter who you are.”
“Oh yeah? And why would you want me if you don’t even know who I am.”
“I do know,” he said quietly. “And I want you like I had you the other night, every night. And more than that. I want all of you. The sweet and the salty. And I want to give you all of me. I want another chance. Please, Laney. It’s killing me to be away from you.”
“I don’t know if I can give you that,” I said stiffly. If I let myself get drawn in, I’d drown in him all over again. My heart was ripping in half with every word he spoke.
“You can,” he insisted. “Only you can. And someday, when you’ve learned to trust me again, I want you to be my wife. I won’t give up until you are.”
“Are you asking me to marry you?” I asked, my throat thick with emotion. It was all I’d dreamed of since the moment I noticed he was a boy and I was a girl. It had always been Brody.
“I know I fucked it all up,” he said, reaching out and taking my hand, his blue eyes burning with earnestness. “I was young and stupid. But I learned from losing you, Laney.”
I swallowed hard, staring at our linked hands. “A promise of a promise isn’t much, Brody.”
“It’s what I have to give you,” he said. “All I’m asking for is a chance to make it right.”
I took a deep, unsteady breath. “Okay.”
“Okay, you’ll be my girl again?”
I nodded, and Brody leaned forward, pulling me in. My heart was racing as his lips touched mine. Could he tell? His hand circled my waist, and he pressed deeper, his lips crushing mine, his mouth searching mine for a truth I kept hidden. As his tongue teased my lips apart, that heat began to grow inside me. This time, I would leave him wanting, would leave him with only a kiss.
A few kisses wouldn’t hurt. I let myself have it, my tongue dancing inside his mouth until I thought I would burst into flame if he didn’t take me right there, under the tree, like he had before. My mind warned me to pull back, to stop before it went that far, but my body refused to obey. After three years of celibacy, all it wanted was to be full of him again. And again. And again.
Finally, he pulled away and stroked my hair back, cupping my face between his hands. “I have to go to Chicago for a while.”
“What?” I asked, jerking away, my head spinning. “You make me promise, and now you’re leaving?”
“I’ll be back.”
“You asshole,” I said, jumping to my feet. For one moment, I’d let myself believe he cared. “You can’t do this to me again.
”
“Laney, I didn’t have a choice,” he said, throwing up his hands.
“I hate you,” I cried, turning on my heel and fleeing. I couldn’t believe he’d played me again, so easily. Tears stung at my eyes as I raced toward Pegasus.
Before I reached my horse, Brody caught me from behind, his arms circling me, jerking me to a halt.
“Let me go,” I growled, prying at his arms. I kicked at his legs until he stumbled forward, crashing to the ground with me.
“Laney, wait.”
“You asshole!” I said again, rolling away and onto my knees. When he tried to rise with me, I shoved him back, hard. He landed back on his elbows. “You think you can just come here and ask for a promise, ask me to dump my fiancé for you, and then you’re going to leave? I’ve been there, done that. I know how it ends.”
“Things were different then,” he said, pushing himself up to sitting. “I was an immature idiot. I didn’t know what I had to lose. Now I do.”
“Fuck you, Brody.” I shoved him back again, but this time he grabbed my wrists and pulled me against him.
“And this time, you’ll be coming with me,” he said. “Now that I have you, I’m never letting you go.”
I wrenched my wrists free and shoved his shoulders this time. When he rocked backward, I threw a leg over him, straddling his hips. Just as I raised a hand to slap him, he caught my wrist and pulled me down to him, his free hand circling my waist. He lifted his lips to mine, and my body responded, that fire racing across my skin like the wind over the bluegrass around us.
I couldn’t make it stop. I’d played the game, gone all in, and now I didn’t know how to get back to where I’d been. Back to the place where I loathed the very name of Brody Villines. Now my body ached for him, my skin begged for his touch. Now that I’d gotten a taste of him, it wasn’t enough. I needed what he’d promised me—all of him, every night.
“I mean it,” he said. “Come with me. Tell me you’re mine again.”