Cheap Trick: A Dawson Family Novel

by Goodwin, Emily

  “I know. I don’t think anyone really is. Those who say they are, are lying. Just like people who say they like running.”

  “You like working out.” She gives me a pointed look.

  “That’s different. And I do.”

  We get the animals taken care of and go inside, showering this time. Danielle grabs a bottle of cheap red wine that someone brought over, along with a tray of cookies. We sit on the couch and find something funny to watch. Danielle pours two big glasses of wine and settles in my arms, saying she just wants to watch TV and not think about anything for a while.

  By the time the movie ends, we’re both lying down and half-asleep. I turn the TV off and spoon my body around Danielle’s. She hasn’t been sleeping well lately, and I know she’s tired. I run my fingers through her hair until she falls asleep.

  I’m hot under the blanket with her, and there’s a lump in the couch that’s pressing against my spine. I’m uncomfortable, but I don’t even think about moving. Because lying here with Danielle is the only place I want to be.

  Chapter 29

  Danielle

  I lean against the metal gate, watching the horses run around the pasture. The chickens are already fed, and the goats are grazing near the barn. It’s a little after eight in the morning, which is still early for me but not as early as Grandpa got up to feed the animals.

  I can handle eight AM. Well, when the weather is nice, that is. I’m already dreading having to trudge out here in the rain and snow.

  Logan was still asleep on the couch when I came out here, and I silently go back into the house, not wanting to wake him. He’s been my rock the last few days, and I really don’t think I could have gotten through this without him.

  I’m making breakfast when my phone rings, and I hurry to silence the call. It’s a local number, but since I don’t know who it is, I don’t answer. If it’s important, they’ll leave a message. And I really don’t feel like talking to anyone right now anyway.

  Looking around the kitchen, I feel an emptiness in my heart. I want it to go away. I want to be happy again.

  I know I will be, but it’ll take time.

  Logan helps. I smile when I think about him, and look through the kitchen into the living room at him. All three cats are on the couch with him, and I grab my phone to take a picture so I can tease him about being a crazy cat lady just like Quinn later. The floor creaks as I walk out of the living room, and the cats jump off the couch, meowing and begging for their food.

  Logan comes into the kitchen as I’m feeding them.

  “Morning.” He’s rubbing his neck.

  I spoon the canned food into three bowls. “Morning. Did you sleep funny or something?”

  “Yeah, and it makes me feel old to wake up sore.”

  “I’ll rub your shoulders. We have seven minutes until the pancake casserole is done.”

  He sits at the island counter. “I didn’t know pancake casseroles were a thing.”

  “I didn’t either, but it smells good, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah. It does.”

  I plug in the coffee pot. “I’m on the schedule to work today.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Take the week off if you need it.”

  “Sleeping with the boss has its perks.”

  Logan chuckles. “Just one of many, I hope.”

  “I kind of want to work. The distraction would be nice.”

  “It’s up to you, Danielle. No one expects you to come in yet, and if you decide you need to leave after a while, you can.”

  I push my hair back and nod, going around Logan. “Thanks. I’ll give that a try.” I put my hands on his neck and start massaging his muscles. He’s only wearing boxers, and having him walk around the house half-naked like this is something I could get used to.

  Dad calls as we’re eating breakfast, and I go to silence the call but answer it at the last second.

  “Sandra went into labor early,” Dad says as soon as I pick up.

  “Oh, wow. Is the baby okay?”

  “I assume so. I didn’t ask.”

  I shake my head, glad he can’t see my expression right now. “So you need to fill her spot right away.”

  “We do. And your mother knows a great real estate agent in Indianapolis and is sure she can get her to get the farm listed and sold in record time.”

  “What? I…I…” Sell the farm? Hell no. This place was Grandma and Grandpa’s dream. There is no way I’m letting them sell this place…but I don’t see how I have much of a choice. With Grandpa gone, Mom would inherit everything.

  It’s hers to sell, and I know she’ll be happy to have this place off her hands. She thinks I’m marrying Logan, so not having a house shouldn’t be a big deal to me. But it is.

  Because this is the only home I have.

  The same number that called earlier calls me again.

  “I’m getting another call,” I tell Dad. “I’ll call you back later, okay?” I end the call and send the other caller to voicemail again.

  “What baby?” Logan asks.

  I trade my phone for my fork. “Someone that works for my dad had her baby early. So now there’s an open position at the company until she comes back from maternity leave.”

  “And your dad wants you to fill in.”

  “Yeah. He told me about it yesterday, and tried to spin it as a temporary thing, saying it would be good experience and could help me take the bar’s business to the next level.”

  “Oh, right. They think we’re getting married.”

  I nod. “I’m sure he’s thinking if he can get us to do long distance for a few weeks, it’ll show me I can do grad school too.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  My dad texts me before I can answer Logan. “He said he’ll pay me her salary, and wow, she made good money.”

  Logan looks up from his food, and maybe it’s silly, but I desperately want him to tell me he doesn’t want me to even think about going away.

  Because he loves me.

  Just like I love him.

  But he doesn’t, making me think that maybe I was wrong about this all along.

  * * *

  I sit on the back porch, looking out at the pasture. Logan left after breakfast, needing to go home, take care of Dexter, and get ready for work. My heart is getting heavy again, and while I never really talked about my love life with Grandpa—mostly because I didn’t have one—I wish I could get his advice right now.

  Logan and I have been really good friends for a year now. And we took things to the next level only recently, but telling him I love him, and wanting to hear him tell it to me, seems fitting.

  But is it too soon?

  “I have a feeling you’d tell me it doesn’t matter,” I say to the sky. “That it’s never too soon for love or something like that.” I close my eyes and let out a breath. “And I know…I can be the one to tell him too. If he doesn’t love me, then…then I’ll have to deal with it.”

  I swallow hard, getting scared at just the thought of following my heart. If I follow my head and my head is wrong, I can try again. But if I follow my heart and my heart is wrong, it might break. And I don’t think I can survive another broken heart.

  Rebecca texts me, asking how I’m doing. I reply and go to set my phone down but then remember I never listened to the voicemail from that unknown number. It’s a lawyer, asking me to call him back.

  I hate all the legalities that come with death.

  As if it’s not enough to have to learn to live with your loss, you have to worry about bills and utilities and taxes. I watch the horses graze and start to feel anxiety rise in my stomach again, making my hands shake. I don’t make enough to be able to feed them. I’ve only just started building my savings back up, and if I want to try and keep all the animals, I’m going to have to pick up a lot more shifts at the bar.

  Like one every single night and go back to low cut shirts and letting gross men hit on me so I can get bigger tips. I shudder at the thought
, not sure if I’m capable of sinking that low.

  The secretary at the lawyer’s office answers right away and transfers me over.

  “Hi, Ms. Cross,” the lawyer starts. “First of all, I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Would you be able to come into the office sometime today? We have some paperwork to take care of.”

  “Uh, sure. I thought my mother took care of it all.”

  “She and your father did, but they weren’t able to sign everything.”

  “They weren’t?”

  “They couldn’t. Because your grandfather left his house and property to you.”

  Chapter 30

  Logan

  I sit in the driveway, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel. I just left Danielle’s house and got home, but I haven’t gone inside yet. My mind is racing, and my heart is beating fast right along with it.

  I love her.

  I don’t want her to leave, even if it’s just for a few weeks. But I don’t want to be selfish, because she’s going through a hard time right now, and if getting away from Eastwood is what she needs, then she should go.

  But will she come back?

  She came here because her grandpa was here, and now that he’s gone…what’s going to keep her here?

  Me.

  Maybe. Maybe not.

  “Fuck,” I swear under my breath. For the last year I’ve wanted to tell her that I love her. We finally made love, and it was incredible. She’s incredible.

  We are incredible together.

  I close my eyes and lean my head back against the seat.

  And then Owen knocks on the window. “Dude, what the hell are you doing?” he asks, opening the passenger side door.

  “Trying to decide if I should tell Danielle I love her, or if it’s unfair to drop that on her when she has a good reason to get out of town for a little bit. But if she leaves, will she come back? She doesn’t have a reason to.”

  “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that, right?”

  I glare at my twin.

  “Stop overthinking things like you always do. You love her. Go tell her and be her reason to stay. Now. Or give me your clothes, and I’ll go over there and pretend to be you.”

  “It won’t work with Danielle.”

  Owen’s brows go up. “Exactly.”

  I get what he isn’t saying just as much as what he is. Danielle’s always been able to tell us apart when most people can’t. She says she can sense the difference, and jokes that she’s more attracted to the energy I put off over Owen.

  “Get out of my car.”

  Owen claps me on the back. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

  I start the car, putting it in reverse before Owen is fully out. It takes twelve minutes to drive to Danielle’s house from ours, and I get there in less than ten. I put the car in park and forget to take my seatbelt off in my desperation to get to Danielle.

  I race up the front porch steps, getting to the last one when she opens the door. When I left, she was still in PJs with her hair in a messy bun. Now she’s wearing a rainbow-striped skirt and a white tank top. Her hair is braided, and she’s wearing makeup. An oversized bag hangs from her shoulder.

  Is she leaving?

  “Logan!” she exclaims, not expecting to see me. I grab her around the waist and pull her close, putting my lips to hers. I kiss her hard, feeling my heart flutter in my chest.

  “I love you, and I don’t want you to leave.” The words come out easier than I expected them to.

  Danielle straightens up and blinks. “What?” She sets the bag down. “I mean…what?”

  I inhale and run my hands down her arms, stepping closer and looking into her eyes. “I’ve been in love with you pretty much since we met. You were always so adamant about not staying here and not wanting to date so I tried to ignore my feelings for you, but they never went away. I really love being your best friend, but I want to be your boyfriend. And who knows, maybe your real fiancé someday.”

  Danielle’s lips part and tears well in her eyes again. “I love you too.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes,” she says, and the tears spill down her face. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time too but didn’t want to admit it to myself. And then when we finally kissed…I knew I was a goner.”

  “If you need to leave Eastwood, I get it.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m not leaving Eastwood. My grandpa left the farm and the house to me. I was going to go into town and finish signing the papers. My parents knew, and they didn’t say anything.” She shakes her head. “I’m so tired of them trying to force my hand. But this is home now. My home. Maybe it could be our home,” she adds softly.

  “Are you asking me to move in with you? Geez, Dani, I just told you I love you. We should slow down. Wait another year before we take the next step.”

  “You’re still a jerk,” she laughs, shaking her head as I go in for another kiss. “You are my best friend.” She takes her lips off mine just enough to talk. “You’ll always be my best friend.”

  “And you’ll always be mine.”

  “Tell me you love me again. I like hearing it.”

  “I love you, Danielle Cross.” I cup her face in my hands. “And I know things haven’t gone as you thought they would, but I like to believe everything led you to me.”

  Another tear rolls down her cheek, and I wipe it away with my thumb. “It did,” she whispers. “I was so busy trying to find my place in the world and fit in, I didn’t realize that I was right where I was supposed to be all along. With you.”

  Chapter 31

  Danielle

  Logan puts his lips to mine again, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. I love this man so much. He is the best friend I could ask for, and the best relationships are built on a foundation of respect and friendship. We just fit together, and I know I’ll never find another person in the whole world who gets me better than Logan Dawson.

  Things feel the same between us, and yet everything has changed.

  “Do you need to go to the lawyer now?” he asks between kisses.

  “I should.”

  “Want me to come with you?”

  “You’ll be bored.” His lips go to my neck, and I start to melt against him. “Hell, I’ll be bored. But it would be nice to have you with me.”

  Logan pulls me into a tight embrace, and I rest my head against his chest and listen to his heart beating. My eyes fall shut, and for the first time since we left Hawaii, I don’t feel like I’m spiraling out of control.

  Things are still messy. Things are still going to hurt for a while. But that’s life, isn’t it? It’s not about going through it and having everything fall perfectly into place. It’s about the people you have on the ride with you.

  The ones who hold your hand.

  Who help you up when you fall.

  Who love you.

  Chapter 32

  Logan

  “I think that’s the last of it.” I set a box down in the foyer and run my hand over my forehead, wiping away beads of sweat. We picked the hottest day yet this summer to move in together.

  Smiling, Danielle looks around the farmhouse. “Now the fun begins, and we get to organize everything.”

  “That does not sound like fun.”

  She laughs and grabs my hand, pulling me into the kitchen for something to drink before we go back to figuring out what to do with everything. For now, we’ve been sleeping in Danielle’s bed in the room she’s always stayed in. Eventually, we plan on taking over the master bedroom, but Danielle isn’t ready for that yet.

  It’s been pretty much untouched since her grandpa passed only a month ago, and I’m in no rush to have her go through his things before we totally redecorate it. Moving in together only a few weeks after we made things official might seem too soon to some people, but it made sense to us. We’ve been friends for so long. We know each other.

  We love each other, and we don’t wan
t to wait any longer.

  Dexter runs up the stairs, chasing one of the cats. He’s been at it all day and has gotten his nose scratched more than once already. You’d think he’d learn…

  Danielle fills two glasses with ice water and grabs a folder from the kitchen table, looking at applications. We’re hiring new help at the bar and need to start the interview process this week. And then next week we’re expanding our hours again.

  “No work,” I tell her and close the folder. “It’s our day off.”

  Danielle has been in charge of the expansion and is having way more fun with it than she should.

  “Fine. You’re all sweaty and need to shower. I should probably go up and help you.”

  “You should. Make sure I’ve washed all the hard-to-reach places.” I take a big drink of water and then take Danielle in my arms. She pushes me away laughing, telling me I stink and am getting sweat on her. Of course I just hold her tighter. She slips out of my arms and tries to run away.

  I dodge around the counter and pick her up and toss her over my shoulder. She laughs and protests, and I carry her into the living room and playfully toss her on the couch and move on top of her.

  “Shower, now!” she laughs, grabbing the hem of my shirt and pulling it up over my head. “We have to leave soon to be at your parents on time anyway.”

  “Right.” I kiss her neck and get up, pulling her to her feet. We’re having dinner with my family tonight, and I have something important to ask Danielle before we leave. Dexter tears through the house again, and Tabby Cat jumps up onto the couch to try and get away from him. Dex launches himself at the cat, knocking over a lamp in the process.

  “They have claws, buddy,” I tell him, pulling him off the couch. “I really hope this is just a phase.”