He couldn’t fathom any reason that she would carry out such a charade. Although she kept herself well covered when she was out of her home, he caught a glimpse of her transformation as she passed a window. She had been uncovered, without even her blanket draping around her, hiding her away.
At first, he couldn’t help but stare. He had found Diana beautiful as a human. Seeing her with long, elegant tail and a dark velvet of fur over her body took a bit of getting used to. But beneath it all, he saw the same female who haunted him. Yet she hid herself away, her tail bound to her body, like a butterfly newly emerged from its cocoon, still afraid to spread its new wings to fly. Human in appearance or not, he found he wanted to crawl over her and clutch her to him in rut. It was highly inappropriate to feel toward someone who was a virtual stranger, but his instinct dogged him.
The gods must have cursed him. Even now, his mother’s last words to him haunted him with their taunting lilt. To feel such need for a female whose presence brought death to the Eternal Forest was a jest of the highest gods made at his expense. He didn’t know what lesson they sought to impress upon him…Humility, perhaps. If so, it was terrible.
His tail lashed behind him impatiently as his eyes tracked her movement, eager for her to finish and return indoors where he could selfishly watch over her, but his ears pricked at the sound of crunching snow as an unfamiliar scent of sweat and spice filled his nose. Grimacing, Selvans turned, his body tensing with a predatory stillness as he caught sight of the human male approaching the house. A low growl rumbled in his throat and Selvans dropped from his nest as he cast an illusion over himself.
Though he still appeared much the same, his antlers and tail would not be seen, and his ears would seem more correct to the human norm. Striding through the snow with a snarl on his lips, he headed toward the hapless male.
Diana paused from where she was clearing snow from the walk around her home, her eyes trained on the male. She noticeably tugged her fur-lined hood closer around her face with her gloved hands in the pretense of being chilled as she strained.
“Diana! Good morning!” the male called cheerfully, his eyes glancing over her longingly as a waft of pheromones hit Selvans in the face.
He bristled, his teeth baring with menace. The only thing saving the foolish human’s life at that moment was that Diana did not return his smile. Her fingers tightened around her shovel as her eyes narrowed warily.
“Devlin, what are you doing here?” she inquired politely.
Selvans gnashed his teeth. He wouldn’t have been that polite. He wasn’t going to be that polite once he got his hands on the male. A low growl stirred the air, making the perhaps-not-quite-idiotic male pause before masking his unease with a confident smile as he turned his full attention on her. A wide smile pulled at the human’s cold-reddened lips, revealing a flash of white flat teeth in his bearded face.
“I just came to see how you were doing and if there was anything you need,” he returned with pitifully transparent joviality.
Selvans wanted to rip the male’s vocal cords and hand them to him so that he could keep his false speech to himself. Selvans had staked out this territory as his own. Even if he was uncertain whether he wanted to pursue the female or not, she was bound to him and he wasn’t going to allow another male to interlope on his territory.
“No,” Diana replied flatly. “There is nothing, thank you. I went to town and picked up a few supplies yesterday. My hunt has also been successful.”
The human stared at her in surprise. “That is truly impressive. No one in town has been having any luck in the parts of the forest we typically hunt. If we had known that you were that skilled, we would have invited you with us a long time ago.”
“Thank you, but I do better by myself.”
The male flushed in discomfort and embarrassment. “Yes, I suppose so,” he muttered. His hands clenched as he seemed to struggle to find another reason to linger. Selvan’s tail whipped behind him, silently bidding the human to leave before something unfortunate happened to him.
“Perhaps something that needs doing around the house. We can make a day of it. I can give my useful skills in trade for a lovely meal by my hostess, and you won’t have to muss yourself in unpleasant chores,” he offered.
Bristling, Selvans strode forward. He had heard enough. He knew the moment that the male caught sight of him striding through the snow because the human became rigid with hostility, the sharp scent of masculine challenge in the air. Selvans bared his teeth in an unpleasant smile as he eyed his rival. Diana chose that moment to turn, her greenish eyes falling on him and widening.
“Silvas,” she whispered. “What are you doing?”
“Only seeing what our visitor required,” he cut in smoothly, his eyes running over the male disdainfully. “Welcome to our home,” he purred dangerously. “It is fortunate that my bride was out here to greet you. If she had been indoors with me, we might have never taken heed of your arrival. In fact, you might have stayed outside for an uncomfortably long time,” he bit out.
“Bride?” The human, Devlin, turned accusing eyes upon Diana. Selvans had to forcibly stop himself from plucking them from his head. “Since when did you marry?”
“It was recent,” Selvans cut in smoothly as he circled the male before coming to rest at Diana’s side. His female stiffened warily at his presence, which he didn’t particularly enjoy, but his attention was focused on the male, whom he would take great pleasure in terrorizing. Oh, how sweet his terror would taste.
He nudged her back as he grinned at his rival. The human shifted warily, his eyes sliding over him. Selvans knew what he saw: the large but peculiarly pale human that he presented himself as. He whipped his tail out and struck the male with it across his knees. Delvin yelped from the sharp contact and stumbled back. He looked around wildly, searching for the source of the attack before his eyes flickered back to them.
He swallowed. “Did you see anything?”
Selvans raised his eyebrows and made a show of looking around with confusion. “No. All is quite as usual around here. I’m afraid that nothing exciting happens around here.” As he turned to pretend to examine the snow-covered flowerbeds nearby, he whacked the male again, this time across the back.
“Shit!” Devlin snapped as he quickly backed away and spun around, searching the area nervously. “I swear to God, I felt something attack me. I’m not making this shit up.”
“No, I’m sure you aren’t,” Diana soothed as she stepped forward and shot Selvans a disgusted look.
He shrugged shamelessly. He had no obligations toward the interloper. He was not a subject within his kingdom that would at least require some consideration. As far as Selvans was concerned, he was free to act as he must to protect his territory. Frightening away the male was far kinder than the alternative, but he suspected that his kind-hearted female didn’t give that any thought. There was much within his imagination that he could do to the male to terminate his presence from her life… if Selvans enjoyed such torture. He did not enjoy the flavor of pain or suffering.
“Perhaps you should return to your home. You could have over tired yourself today,” he suggested. He hissed through his teeth, using his power to rouse a nearby dryad to bend her branches enough that they rattled over the human ominously. Devlin’s head jerked up, his mouth gaping open. Seeing the perfect opening, Selvans pulled his tail back again, his malicious gaze focused on Delvin. It was time to give him a sendoff he would never forget.
As he snapped it forward, Diana’s hand shot out behind her to grasp his tail tightly. Her hard tug sent a pleasant jerking sensation straight down to his cock that made his toes curl in his boots. The tip of his tail immediately wrapped around her hand, a low purr rumbling from his chest. She immediately dropped it as if it were a hot iron, and he felt a twist of regret in his gut. To all evidence she was his uxorem. Regardless of any betrayal she may have committed, she should feel the same pressing need to touch that he was currently feeli
ng. The same possession.
“Yes,” Devlin stuttered. “You’re right. I think I should head home.”
“If you must,” Diana murmured, but her comment appeared to be lost to the male as he stumbled rapidly back, tripping over his own feet in his hurry to get away.
Selvans snorted with amusement as the human tipped backward and fell into the snow. Diana made a sound of sympathy as she began to move forward. His hand whipped out, grasping her arm, a warning growl in his throat. She turned startled eyes on him but stilled as Devlin picked himself up from the ground and hastily made his escape.
Diana waited until the human was a distance away from the cabin before jerking her arm to shake his hand away.
“You and I need to talk. Now.”
“But of course,” he purred as he followed her inside.
Chapter 41
Diana stormed into your kitchen, Silvas’s heavy steps falling behind her as he followed her inside. Selvans. Whatever! She was fuming. Of all the high-handed, arrogant males! He didn’t want her, he attacked her and cast her back to the human world like unwanted garbage, and now he dared to interfere with her life!
“You are angry,” he observed quietly.
“You think?” she snapped as she yanked out a chair from the table and pointed to it. “Sit.”
A rattling sound echoed from his chest. “I am not a dog for you to command.”
She spun around with a bark of laughter. “I don’t give a fuck who you are. You’re in my house, interfering in my life without my welcome or permission,” she replied angrily. “You did not want me, spoke vile lies about…attacked me,” she choked out around an ugly sob. “You threw me away. You have no rights here, Silvas or Selvans, or whoever the fuck you are!”
He cocked his head at her, his brow furrowing in confusion. There was a glimmer of pain in his eyes. Good! She hoped that the bastard hurt as much as she had the last several months. Her lips twisting with pain, she set two cups of wine from her meager stock on the table between them. His eyebrows raised at the cup, but he ignored it as he leveled her with a hard look.
“I did not remember,” he rasped. “I still don’t. All I know was that I returned home to see Arx nearly obliviated, hamadryads I have known for centuries destroyed, and those under my care killed where they stood. And then there was you—in a place where no other has ever set foot, a lone individual who survived virtually unscathed. What was I to think?”
“Probably should have thought to ask your sister, since she’s the only one who seems to know anything of what is going on in the forest,” she shot back. “For whatever reason, you blocked me out your mind and set a barrier in place without even talking to me. You left me alone in that room and then went to get cleansed with that barrier in place. It blocked every memory of me, you prick. How could you! How dare you! You convinced me to give in to the need of the bond, made me your mate, and then cast me aside. You didn’t even have the balls to bring me home yourself like you promised. You had Raskyuil do it!”
His jaw hardened, and he shook his head. “I can’t fathom what you have experienced because I don’t know. I look at you and I see a stranger, one whom I need with every ounce of my being, who only came into my world because of my interfering mother, so I recently discovered. I don’t know why I rejected you, nor the circumstances of our time together. I don’t even know what draws me to you now. I only know that you are mine, and even though I am not sure if I want you, I will not allow another within my territory.”
Meeting her eyes, he picked up the cup and took a long drink, his tongue swiping along the edge of the cup to finish the last drop.
“Unbelievable,” she muttered. “Of all the egotistical stupidity. You should have just stayed away and left me alone with my grief instead of coming here and destroying me all over again. Thanks to you my life has been changed forever. I have changed. I’m no longer human, and the one place I wanted to peacefully live out the rest of my life so that I could someday be buried with my family, I’ll have to leave so no one comes waving pitchforks at my door. I’ve seen what kind of ugly mob the townspeople can turn into. My entire life has been upended, and for nothing. After what you did, the least you could have done was give me the courtesy of leaving me alone!”
“You don’t understand. You think I want to feel the way I do. To yearn and need endlessly with a pain that never dulls with the passage of days. I don’t!” He sighed. “I don’t wish to hurt you. I don’t know what I want. I just know that I have been broken and empty the entire time I have wandered your world… and now Cacus has gone to ground.” He drew his hand up behind his horns and swept his hand through his hair. “The only clues I have are that I need to follow my instinct and I need my light. My instinct fails me, and I cannot see whatever light I’m to seek.” He paused, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What is my special light that I need?” he muttered.
“How the fuck should I know,” she snapped as she shoved back her chair. Standing, she leaned forward and slammed her hand on the table between them, small claws shooting out from her fingertips, scoring the wood. “As far as I’m concerned, there is no light. Everything is one big, dreary shit hole. I feel broken and empty, and you left me like this. You tore out my heart and abandoned me and all you can think of is your duty. I mean, I get it. Everything is dying because of that asshole—but fuck you!”
His head snapped back, his pale eyes watching her in surprise. She didn’t care—he was about to hear all about himself. Tears stung her eyes and she was helpless to stop her fury as it swamped over her. Her eyes narrowed on him; her lips twisted with grief.
“Never have I despised anyone the way I’ve despised you these last few months. I cursed you every night for what you did to me. Don’t come to me thinking that I will feel sorry for you or pat you on the back and tell you it will be okay,” she choked, a sob rising to her throat. “You don’t fucking get to play the victim! I was beginning to fall in love with your surly ass—and let me tell you, despite how the nymphs have inflated your ego, you are no prize in the relationship department,” she said with a curl of her lip, her grief swamping over her. She slapped her hand on the table again.
He was rigid, sorrow painted clearly on his face. His ears drooped and his head bent forward so that his antlers bowed slightly toward her. Fastening her eyes upon him, she whispered harshly in a broken voice. She barely managed to speak above a whisper, her voice breaking with horrible ugly sobs.
“What you did is detestable. I don’t care if you are tasked to chase Cacus to hell and back for the rest of eternity, there is nothing that will change the way I feel about how little care you demonstrated toward our relationship. I trusted you with everything when you trusted me with nothing. To block me without any explanation or discussing it with me was the absolute worst thing you could do to me. You took away any chance for me to defend myself or prove myself innocent against whatever paranoid delusion you had fallen into because of that fucking sword.”
She took a deep, shuddering breath. “What is worse—I had no idea at all that anything was wrong! Everything was so right just moments before, but as soon as we got back to the palace you pushed me away and were willing to believe the worst. Of course, you just disappeared. Why wouldn’t you then? You abandoned our bond and me when I was alone and waiting in your room, in the company of no one except that dryad taking pleasure in tormenting me. How could you have done that to me! I had put my trust in you, and I leaned on you when I didn’t dare do that with any other. It tore out my heart when you suddenly disappeared from within me. You broke me! By blocking our bond, you took every good thing that I allowed to grow between us and cruelly destroyed it with one move.” She closed her eyes, a tremor shaking her body as her tears broke free.
Huge ugly sobs wracked her and she slammed her hand repeatedly until he swept it up and caught it against his chest. She hauled back her other hand and slapped him for all it was worth and kept struggling and striking at him until he folded he
r tightly in his arms, his tail sliding snugly around her waist as he let out a pained sound issuing from deep within him. Holding her in place, he let her rage flow freely over him. She struggled, her claws biting into him as she struck at him repeatedly until, finally, she collapsed against him and wept.
Exhausted, she lay within his arms, half dangling in his grip. At some point he had drawn her close to him, his purr surrounding her as if to comfort her even though his own shoulders shook with sorrow. She felt the hot splash of his tears against her neck.
All the fight drained out of her as she slowly disentangled herself to pull away and stare at him hopelessly. She was hurt with a wound that refused to heal. It ate at her and bled at the slightest provocation. There were no words that would magically fix things, and his words, while honest and true to what she knew of the situation from Dorinda, were not, unsurprisingly, any kind of balm for her heart. Even the sobs that wracked him as he held her did little to ease the burn of the wounds in her heart.
She wanted more than anything to continue to rage at him, to beat at him with her fists and wail her rage as she’d done the first month after she returned home. Every day she had suffered alone, screaming out her pain and anger. She wanted to take them out on him. But she discovered she had only just those last tears to shed. Now… now she was just tired.
“I am exhausted Silv… Selvans,” she corrected wearily.
“Silvas,” he replied. “I know it is not my correct name, but though I hate to admit it, it makes me feel a warmth within me when you say it. Like it is something special between us. It makes a part of me that worries inclined to forbid the name to ever be spoken again to drive that unknown feeling away, but I cannot. I don’t know why that is—it just is.” He raised his eyes and met her gaze.
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